The Falling of Love (8 page)

Ian pulls her tightly to him. “Gracie, I love you more than I have ever loved anything or anyone in my whole entire life. You will be the first girl I ever make love to, I can promise you that.”

His words do little to comfort her.

“So,” he says, cautiously, “you’ve thought about us, and doing it?”

Grace is grateful the lights are out so he doesn’t see that she has turned about one hundred shades of red. She does not answer right away, and she appreciates how he allows her to remain quiet, not pushing her into speaking.

After a moment she presses her face into his neck. “Yes,” she says, softly into his skin.

He pulls her tighter against him. “Me too.”

“I started taking birth control, Ian. I got it two weeks ago,” she says, nervously.

He gently kisses her on the forehead, showing his approval.

The respect she has for him grows. She appreciates that he did not rush her into having sex with him. His honesty and sincerity only increase her love for him.

Grace is sitting on the couch watching television when James comes home from being gone for a few days. She pops up off the couch and runs to hug him. Their affection for each other is immense. They have been through so many difficult times together and so many happy times, as well. She is beyond delighted that he is home.

“Where is everyone?” asks James, as he pulls off his flannel jacket and hangs it on the coat rack that sits just inside the doorway.

“Ian is at work, Missy is sleeping, and well, I’m right here,” she says, with a cute smile.

James sits in his chair and pries off his boots. He looks exhausted, but Grace can see there is also something troubling him. His eyebrows are tightly knitted together and he keeps staring at her with his lips scrunched up to the side.

“How are things going with me not being home?”

“They’re great, except we really miss you,” Grace says, as she sits on the couch and folds her legs underneath herself.

“And…are things with Ian getting serious?” he asks. His concern for her is all over his face.

“I love him so much, James!” she exclaims out of nowhere. “He is so good to me. He makes me laugh, and we talk for hours, like we never run out of things to talk about. We never argue! He’s the perfect boyfriend and, James, he’s brilliant! You have to hear his songs!” she gushes.

James takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly as he leans back into his chair and folds his hands together, resting them on his stomach. “I can see that you feel very strongly for him. I just worry.”

Grace’s feelings turn from elated to
frightened
in an instant. “Are you going to make him move out?”

“No, no, I’m not. Calm down. I’m just concerned. You’re still extremely young. You’re only seventeen years old. You’re too young to be a housewife.”

“James, I’m the furthest from a housewife than I could ever be. What are you saying?”

“I’m just voicing my concern, which I have every right to do. I just want you to take it slow and…” He pauses for a moment. “And I want you to be smart. You’re an intelligent girl. You have goals in life and you don’t need to get pregnant and ruin your future. There will be absolutely no having sex with him if you want to live under this roof…” He pauses again. “If you have sex, he has to move out.” With those words, James rises off the couch, kisses a speechless Grace on the head, and heads for his bedroom.

What the hell was that about,
she wonders, as she sits on the couch,
stunned.
She realizes that her brother is just trying to protect her, same as he always has and always will.
Did he really think I’d stay a virgin forever?
She laughs aloud.
Surely he didn’t believe that
. She smiles to herself because she cannot imagine how hard that conversation was for him. She envisions him driving in his big rig, rehearsing what he would say, and it makes her giggle even more.

The front door opens and Ian walks in.

Grace jumps off the couch to greet him. “You look absolutely exhausted,” she says, as she helps him take off his coat.

He smiles, grabs her by the waist, and kisses her deeply. “God I missed you!” he breathes.

“Are you hungry?” she asks, as she nestles up against him.

“Starving!”

“Your plate is in the oven. I kept it warm for you.”

Ian nods and then walks toward the kitchen after kissing the top of her head. Grace laughs and wonders if maybe she is just a little more housewife-ish than she cares to admit.

“Christmastime in Ocean View is something special, Ian,” says Grace, as they walk arm in arm headed for the town square.

Ian pulls her closer to him and wraps his arms around her to try and warm her. “It’s freezing Grace,” he says, as he shivers.

She snuggles her head into his chest and smiles looking up at him. Her smile reaches inside of him and warms every bone in his body. Her excitement about going to watch the Christmas festivities downtown takes hold of him, and the twinkle of happiness that gleams in her eyes fills him with joy. Ian is frozen to the bone because he insisted on putting his jacket on Grace, even though she already had a sweater on.

“Has your mother tried to call you?” she asks, timidly.

“No.”

It makes him uncomfortable to talk about his mother. Feelings of abandonment creep into his soul at the thought of her. Ever since his father banned him from going home, Ian waited for his mother to sneak a phone call or to stop by Grace’s to see him, but she never called and she never came by. He hates the sadness that washes over Grace’s face after he answers her. He knows that it hurts her to see him hurting. He tries to put up a front and pretend like he does not care. The look on her face tells him that she knows better.

Ian offers nothing more in the way of words about either his family or spending Christmas with them. This isn’t the first time he has brushed Grace off. Every time Grace brings up the subject, Ian changes it. The cross look on his face tells her that even if she tries, he will not want to talk about it. She can tell that it deeply hurts him, but she does not want to pressure him into discussing it.

They arrive at the town square and the sad feelings from before quickly disappear. It is as if the light of the small town fill her heart with hope.

In the center of the park sits the gazebo that they frequent. It is covered in white lights that seem to illuminate the entire square. Snow lightly falls from the sky as the choir sings their Christmas carol. Ian pulls Grace tighter to his body, and she beams with delight as they enjoy the events.

“Isn’t it
wonderful!
” She smiles.

She can see that even though he is trying to play it off, that his mood has changed. The way he looks at her, with one corner of his smooth lips pulled up to the side in a sly smile, and his blue eyes twinkling in the soft glow of the winter night, tells her that he is happy. All his cares seem to have gone away with the sound of the chorus. She could not ask to be more filled with joy than she is in this moment.

Early the next morning, cold, and dark outside, Ian is jarred awake by shrieks from Michelle coming down the hall.

“Time to get up ya lazy bones! It’s present time!” Michelle howls.

The thud of feet rushing down the stairs makes Ian sit up in bed and rub his eyes.

Grace opens Ian’s door. “Wake up, sleepy head, it’s Christmas morning!”

Ian cannot recall a time in his life where his family actually woke up early for Christmas, let alone had any kind of decent Christmas day. He stumbles out of bed and walks into the living room. Christmas music plays on the stereo. The smell of cinnamon and sugar cookie candles wafts into his nose. Michelle eagerly waves him to sit by her next to the Christmas tree. James sits in his usual spot on his easy chair with a huge grin on his face. There is barely a spot left on the living room floor to sit due to all the gifts.

“Okay, so last year we did oldest to youngest, so this year youngest to oldest,” James says.

“Oh, that means me!” says Michelle, as she searches for a gift. “Ian, this one is for you. See, since I’m the youngest I get to play Santa first!”

Ian is overwhelmed by the moment. He glances at Grace, and she gives him a reassuring nod.

“Go on, open it!” James says, waving his hand at him.

Ian does not know what to do at first. Gifts were things rarely given to him growing up and practically never in his teen years. The only gifts he was used to receiving were secret ones he would exchange with his siblings. They had to be careful that their father did not catch them exchanging the gifts or displaying them once they were given. He looks around the room and all eyes are on him as he sits there dumbfounded with the present in his hand.

“Open it, silly!” Grace shouts.

“Wait, first you have to say who it’s from,” says Michelle.

Ian looks at the gift tag. “It’s from James,” Ian says, timidly. He opens the gift slowly to discover that it is sheet music. Ian knows it may seem like such a small present to most, but for him it captures the entire concept of family. “Thank you, man!”

James gives Ian a warm smile and a slow nod of his head which fills him with joy.

They continue to open the mass amount of gifts spread under the Christmas tree. Everyone’s wishes and some they did not even think
of,
have been granted.

Michelle is lying amidst the torn wrapping paper looking as though she has passed out. James gnaws on some beef jerky the girls got for him, and Grace just stares at Ian.
I never dreamed I could feel like this.

“James?” she asks, quietly. “Don’t we have one more gift for Ian?”

James gets an immense grin on his face and says, “Well, you might just be right about that. Hmm, I wonder where it
is?
”

Ian looks shocked. “More?”

“Just one tiny thing,” Grace says.

With these words, Michelle pops up out of her Christmas coma. “Ha, it’s in the garage, Ian! Don’t let them mess with you like that.”

James rises from his chair and motions for them to walk to the coat rack. They all gather up their coats, put them on, and head outside to the garage. On the garage door is a giant red and green ribbon. On an oversized tag, in Grace’s writing are the words:
To: Ian, With Love,
The
Hathaway Family
. Ian looks puzzled.

“You got me a garage?” he asks, jokingly.

“Oh, just open the door, stupid!” says Michelle. She nudges Ian in the arm gently.

Ian opens the door and gasps. In the middle of the garage is a black baby grand piano. Off to the side are a microphone and some type of recording devices. Ian gets light on his feet, and Grace has to put her arms around him to keep him steady.

“
Wha
…” he gasps.

“Merry Christmas!” they all say in harmony.

“This is…this is too much,” he mutters.

“No, man, it’s not too much,” says James laying his arm around Ian’s shoulders, “my sister never shuts up about what an incredible musician you are and I honestly didn’t need your rent money, so here you go. Amaze me!”

After eating their Christmas feast, Grace sits next to Ian at the piano. She waits patiently as he thumbs through sheet music, looking for a familiar song to play. No words pass between them as he stumbles through a few chords of the first song he chooses from the book.

“It’s been a while since I’ve played.”

“It will come back to you,” she says.

His fingers randomly press keys. “I’m so stoked. Your family….you,” he says, shaking his head in disbelief.

Grace pulls his face to hers, and she kisses him for a lengthy moment. He grabs her waist and pulls her closer to his body, kissing her harder. As they are kissing, dampness on his cheek startles her. She pulls away from him and opens her eyes. Ian has tears streaming down his face.

Looking into his eyes she softly wipes his tears away. “You’re our family now. This is where you belong. Don’t ever question it. Don’t ever feel you don’t deserve it, because you do. We love you so much.”

Ian looks confused by her statement. “But all I got you was an easel and some stupid paint brushes,” he says, with guilt on his face.

“That’s silly,” she says. “You gave me your heart, and that is the best gift anyone has ever given me.”

They lie in bed together, both chilled by the frozen world outside. Ian watches out the window as snow drifts from the sky. Grace sleeps peacefully in his arms. He cannot help but stare at her. She is the most gorgeous creature he has ever laid his eyes on. He thinks back to the first time he saw her, peering up at him in math class. It is hard for him to believe that was only three short months ago.
How did I fall so hard and so fast?
He pulls her tighter, and it causes her to wake.

“I didn’t mean to wake you, baby,” he says softly as he brushes the hair that fell on her face, behind her ear.

She smiles up at him groggily. “It’s okay. When did you come in here?”

“Around three in the morning.”

“You couldn’t sleep again?”

“No. I have so much on my mind,” he says warily.

“L.A.?”

“Yeah. L.A.”

She lays her head on his chest and wraps her arms around him tighter, as if to keep him from leaving her.

“Have you thought about it anymore?” he asks.

“Yes, but…”

He looks at her sadly. “But…you can’t leave your family,” he says, discouraged.

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before saying, “No. I can’t.”

They lie in silence. He kisses her head, rubs her back, and holds her tighter.

“Jaden’s Grandpa’s place is huge. You could even have your own room if you wanted to. The rent is beyond cheap—”

She reaches up and puts her hand over his mouth lightly, keeping him from saying anything else. “I can’t leave my family, Ian. They’re all that I have.”

These words enrage him. “All that you have?” he shouts. “
I fucking
hate when you say that. I know you love your family, but do you have to say they’re all that you have? What about me?”

“Bad choice of words, I’m sorry,” she says. “I will break their hearts if I leave them. Why can’t you just stay here? What is so awful about our life here that you have to run off to L.A.?” she asks, in an angry plea.

“Do we really need to go over it again and again? I don’t want to see my dad! Does that mean nothing to you? I want to sing and be in a band. Not working in a fucking garage my whole life. Do my dreams mean nothing to you?” he shouts even louder than before.

Grace rips herself out of his warm arms, gets out of bed, stomps to the bathroom, and slams the door. With that, Ian leaves her room feeling defeated and unimportant.

Ian learns quickly that Grace can be exceptionally gifted in the skill of ignoring someone when she is mad. The two of them do not speak for two solid days, until Ian comes to her bedroom late at night. James is home and asleep in his room down the hall. Ian knows he must be extremely quiet.

“House rules: Never go in Grace’s room when I’m sleeping or when I’m not home,” Ian remembers James saying as he creeps across the old wooden floors toward Grace’s room. He opens her door quietly, James’ words playing repeatedly in his mind. “Gracie?” he calls softly.

She flips her bedside light on and glares at him. Her hair looks freshly brushed, her green eyes are bright and show no signs of sleep. “You know you’re not supposed to be sneaking in here,” she says, cruelly.

“I can’t fight with you anymore. It’s
killin
’ me.”

Her lips twist up to the side of her mouth and she knits her eyebrows together while letting out an exasperated huff. Ian chuckles, he knows her so well. He knows she is trying to fight the urge to give into him. When she scoots over, pats the bed, and folds her arms over her chest, he chuckles again because he knows he has won. The feeling of gratification does not last long. It is quickly replaced with yearning. Ian does not take a seat. Instead, he pulls on her ankles bringing her body down so that it lies flat on the bed. He then crawls on top of her. He kisses her as if it is their last kiss. His hands move rapidly all over her arms and legs, his fingers pressing into her flesh. He grasps the back of her neck and pulls her into another passionate kiss.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I love you so much,” he says, as he continues to kiss her face, her neck, and her mouth.

Heat floods his body and he aches even more. Desire takes control of him as his kisses become more heated.

“We can’t,” she whispers with a heavy breath.

Ian kisses her feverishly. His hands move up her legs, and he reaches for her panties. She takes hold of his wrist and pushes his hand back down her leg. Abruptly he grabs her hand and puts it on his erection.

“Stop!” she gasps.

He immediately gets off her and sits on the edge of the bed.

“I’m sorry,” she says, in a wounded voice.

“No, don’t be sorry. I’m the one that should be sorry,” he whispers.

“It’s just that James is right down the hall and if he catches us…” She pauses and touches his shoulder. “No matter how understanding he may seem, I think he’d kill you.”

“I get it. You’re right. I wasn’t thinking. My body just kinda went into auto pilot because I just want you so bad, but I don’t want to push you, baby. I want the time to be right. You need to be ready.”

The innocent smile she returns to him confirms his feelings. Without a word he stands and bends down to kiss the top of her head. She smiles at him as he runs his hand across her smooth face, then he turns and leaves the room.

Early the next morning, Grace brings James his coffee as he climbs into his rig.

“Be safe,” she says, smiling and handing him his coffee cup. “I’ll miss you!”

“You too,” James says. “You better go wake up Michelle or you’re all going to be late for school.” He starts his truck and pulls his baseball cap over his head while he looks himself over in his rearview mirror.

“I will. So we’ll see you this weekend?” she asks, raising her voice to a yell so that he can hear her over the loud hum of the truck’s motor.

“Yeah. If you need me just call me on my new cell.”

With that, he slams the door to his truck shut, and Grace
watches
as he pulls out of the driveway and drives down the street.

Grace goes back into the house and walks into Michelle’s room. She flicks the light on. “Time to get up, Missy.”

Michelle immediately greets her with groans. “No, I don’t want to go to school.”

“Get up.”

Remembering her plan, Grace changes her voice to sound husky and sick-like. “
Me
and Ian have the flu or something. You’ll need to go to school alone.”

“Oh shit, that sucks,” says Michelle, as she gets out of bed. “Stay away from me! I don’t want to get sick.”

Grace coughs and puts her hand over her mouth, snickering under it, feeling excited that she has pulled off the first part of her plan.

She leaves Michelle’s room and quietly walks into Ian’s. As silently as she can, she turns his alarm off and leaves him sleeping. Back in her own bedroom, she waits and watches through her window until Michelle walks down the sidewalk headed for their school. She then goes downstairs to Ian’s room again. “Ian…Ian. Wake up.”

He opens his eyes and greets her with a warm, happy smile. “Good morning, beautiful.”

“Good morning, my love.” She smiles back.

Ian turns over on his side and looks at his alarm clock.

“Holy shit!” he says, as he jumps out of bed.

“I hope you’re not going to be mad at me, but I have a little surprise for you,” she says, as she brings her hands together in front of her mouth. Dropping her hands she smiles at him with eagerness beaming from her lips.

He is standing there in his boxers scratching his head.

“Okay?” he questions with a smirk on his face.

“We have the flu.”

“Oh….we
do
?” He laughs.

“Yeah, and it’s so bad that we had to stay home.”

Ian scratches his head again. He looks at her and laughs. “So, I guess this is your way of saying you’d like to be alone?”

Grace walks up to him and slowly runs her finger down his chest. “This is my way of saying…” She pauses to try to get the strength up to say what she has been rehearsing in her mind since Ian left her room earlier. “This is my way of saying that I—”

Ian stops her. He takes her hands into his, pulls her to him, and kisses her on the lips. He leads her to the bed and sits her down.

“You stay here, I’ll be right back.”

Grace is confused and rejected.
Doesn’t he know I want to…well I want to!

She nervously waits until Ian comes back in the room and stands in front of her. He puts his hands out to her and she takes them. Pulling her up onto her feet he positions her so that they are staring directly into each other’s eyes.

Grace giggles and says, “You brushed your teeth.”

He smiles. “You don’t have to say anything, baby. I know what you’re trying to do,” he says, with a grin on his face. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

Although her heart pounds from nerves, she knows she is ready, so smiling, she nods. Grace is overwhelmed with desire for him. Feelings
that are
new to her start to arise in her belly.

He takes the string of her nightgown between his fingers and unties it. Her entire body tenses as he examines her breasts. Growing wide, his eyes focus on them as they move up and down with each deep breath that she takes. She is terrified. Embarrassment takes over as she lowers her head to gaze at the floor.

“I love you, Gracie,” he says. “I love you more than I love life itself.”

The words take a bit of her fear away, but her stomach still twists with a mixture of lust and fear. He brushes her hair behind her ear. She cannot control the trembling of her body from the nerves that have built up inside her. He opens her nightgown, one button at a time and slowly slips it off her shoulders. The nightgown slides off Grace’s slender, curvy
body,
and lands in a delicate pile on the floor around her feet. Her first inclination is to cover herself up as she stands naked and feeling vulnerable, but she does not. She stands there bared to him and watches him as he drinks her in with his eyes. His tongue licks his bottom lip, causing the light to glisten off of it, and his mouth pulls into a sly, sideways smile.

Gingerly, he takes her hands, puts each of her thumbs in his boxers, and guides her hands down making her remove his underwear. The moment he takes her hands in his she feels that he is shaking. Knowing that he is also nervous eases her nerves a little more.

The morning light gleams through the windows catching dust particles in the rays that dance around them, like glitter floating in the air, as they stand there naked, innocent, and silent, staring at each other. The only sounds in the room are their heavy, deep breaths. He moves closer to her and kisses her shoulder. Softly, he suckles on her skin and her taste seems to cause desire to flow over his expression. His hands trace the curves of her sides in a slow unison motion. They feel strong and slightly rough, but fill her with a sense of comfort. She knows that he will always protect her. He puts his nose in her hair and takes a deep breath, and a breathy moan escapes him. He seems to be taking in her delicate, sweet smell. Goosebumps engulf her entire body and for a brief moment she cannot breathe. She puts her hand on his side, unsure of what else to do. Taking her face into his hands he stares at her for a long moment with a smile that causes calmness to wash over her. He is still slightly shaking and she wants so badly to ease his fears. Placing her hand on his bare chest she rubs it softly in tiny circles. His muscles and hard pecs feel amazing against her palm.

“Do you love me?” he asks, purposefully.

“Yes!” she gasps.

“I love you, too,” he says, before kissing her sweetly on the forehead, his fingers still clenching her chin.

He pulls her tight up against his body, and his hard, waiting erection pushes up against her. She is scared, nervous, and excited all at once. Feeling his stiffness on her leg only intensifies all of her feelings. She has never felt this way in her entire life. The sensations and tingles she experiences throughout her body are new and strange feelings to her. She experienced similar feelings earlier that morning when they were making out, but these new feelings are more powerful.

He trails kisses from her shoulder down to her chest and onto her hard nipple. She thinks she might pass out from desire. He sucks on her nipple as he grabs her neck and pulls her tighter to him. His body is moving against hers in a sweet rhythmic motion.

He kisses her other breast and sucks on her nipple, which is also aching with hardness. He grabs her hand and places it on his erection. Her stomach drops in fear. Her skin warms rapidly, and her cheeks flush red as if they are on fire. He moves her hand delicately up and down his firm shaft.

Cupping her face into the palm of his hand, his eyes grow wide with concern. She cannot help smiling.

Although it is a new sensation, having him in her hand, she enjoys knowing it pleases him. His tensed jaw is now slack and his eyes are rolling up into his head. His parted mouth begs her to enter it with her tongue. His breathing becomes more erratic and heated as she strokes him faster. Suddenly he gently pushes her on the bed. Opening her legs, he crawls in between them. He presses against her, making her throb. Automatically her hands grab at his butt and push him closer to her body. His mouth lingers on her torso and his tongue, wet and warm runs over her still chilled skin. She cannot think straight and her mind refuses to focus on anything but bliss. She is lost in all the emotions that are heating up her entire body. Gently he slips himself inside of her.

At first it hurts and causes her to yelp, but as he slowly moves, the feelings of pain fade away to a place in the back of her mind. She can see from the expression on his face that he is concerned as he moves tenderly inside her. “I’m okay,” she says, as she places her hand on his face, feeling more love for him than she ever has.

“Are you sure,
baby
?”

“Yeah, don’t stop.”

He kisses her forehead and slides deeper and deeper inside her. The pain subsides with every slow, deliberate thrust.