The Extraordinary Adventures of Ordinary Boy, Book One: The Hero Revealed (5 page)

The Multiplier had only half a second to turn and look before the shelf-stocking superhero smashed into him. The Big Bouncer came to a stop, and everyone in the store watched in amazement as the villain went sailing across the front checkout area like a flaming comet. At the top of his arc, I saw something small drop from his hands and fall to the floor. But the Multiplier continued on, finally crashing smack into a huge pyramid of onions all the way over in Produce and knocking himself unconscious. Mr. Mister stepped up to him and blew a fine mist over the flaming villain until the fire was out. He gave my dad an irritated look.

Meanwhile, I ran toward the object that the Multiplier had dropped. But before I could get to it, I heard a rumble coming from the ceiling above me. Everybody rushed to get out of the way as something crashed through the roof. In the cloud of debris, all I could see was a foot landing right on the object that the Multiplier had dropped, smashing it to bits.

Then, as the smoke and dust cleared, all my curiosity about the object vanished in an instant. Because standing there, right before my very eyes, was the Amazing Indestructo himself! Live and in person! The smoke was coming from his rocket pack. I was frozen with awe. He shut off his rocket blasters and turned toward the unconscious Multiplier.

“No one panic,” he said in that powerful voice I’d know anywhere. “I can handle this dastardly deed doer.”

Before my dad or the Big Bouncer could say anything, the Amazing Indestructo pulled the crumpled villain from the pile of onions and hauled him back to the spot beneath the hole in the roof.

“And while you’re shopping, folks, remember that the Amazing Indestructo brand of dishwashing detergent is
invulnerable
to grease!” With that he started up his rocket pack and blasted back through the roof, taking the still-unconscious Multiplier with him. The customers in the store erupted in applause and then stampeded their way to the cleaning products aisle.

“But we had already taken care of him,” Dad said. The Big Bouncer just gave a resigned shrug. I didn’t pay much attention, though. I was too amazed at actually seeing AI in person! Then something else caught my attention. Near the checkout lane at register eleven: The Amazing Indestructo Collector Card Series Number One. “Collect all sixty-four!” a burst proclaimed on the box. My hands shook as I lifted one of the packs. Each pack cost a dollar, so I could buy five, which I quickly did.

Putting the packs in one of my pockets, I went back to Dad, who was glumly checking through the items in our cart, just to make sure we hadn’t forgotten something in the confusion.

“We still have a problem,” he said. “We’ve picked out four items for ourselves, but your mother will only allow two.”

It was then, as the store cleanup crew arrived to start picking up onions, patching the hole in the ceiling, and fixing the disaster in the paper products aisle, that I had a brilliant idea.

“She said we were only allowed to pick out two items, right?” I asked.

“That’s right,” my dad said warily.

“Well, so the Doughnut Hole Heroes and the SugarJolt Chocolate Energy Pills are my two, and the Maximizer Power Cakes and Turkey Jerky Rinds are your two. If she had meant two items total, she should have said we were allowed one item each. I would think that when she said two items, she meant that we
each
were allowed two items.”

“OB, you’re a genius.” My dad’s mood lifted slightly as he mussed up my hair. It was nice, but I had to push his hand away before he accidentally set my hair on fire like that time when I was six.

As we were having everything rung up, the other members of the League of Ultimate Goodness finally arrived. I spotted Major Bummer, Whistlin’ Dixie, and the Crimson Creampuff immediately. Most of them were out of breath, and they all looked a little confused.

“Don’t bother, guys,” Mr. Mister informed them. “AI handled everything.”

That comment was enough to send my dad back into a funk. But I was focused on my new cards. I didn’t even realize until later that Mr. Mister’s cleanup crew had swept up the fragments of whatever the Multiplier had dropped.

As we headed out of the store, I heard a thump coming from the pavement.
Thump, thump.
And then, farther away:
thump, thump.
After about the tenth thump, I saw the Moleman’s head burst through a small grassy island in the parking lot.

“You’re too late,” my father said in disgust, not even glancing down at the muddled-looking member of the League of Ultimate Goodness. “The Amazing Indestructo has already saved the day.”

I should have been more supportive of my dad in his gloomy mood. After all, I knew he and the Big

Bouncer had taken down the Multiplier and gotten none of the credit. But I was distracted. I had five packets of cards in my back pocket, and I couldn’t wait to get home and open them.

CHAPTER FOUR

Counting Cards

Mom was incredibly irritated about the two additional items that somehow ended up as four. So I left the house immediately after breakfast on Sunday and headed straight for the headquarters of my team, the Junior Leaguers, for our regularly scheduled weekly emergency meeting.

Okay, “headquarters” might be a bit of an exaggeration. Our regular meeting place is a tree house in Stench’s backyard. But it’s a really
cool
tree house. Stench’s dad, Windbag, owns a junkyard. In fact, Stench’s entire yard is really just one enormous pile of junk. As a result, his dad was able to put together all sorts of weird things to make a tree house with practically everything a kid could want. It has electricity, heating and air-conditioning, a game room, a pantry that’s always stocked with potato chips, and a refrigerator full of things to drink.

Stench says his dad built the place for him because of what a good kid he is. I think the real reason was to keep him outside instead of stinking up the house. Don’t get me wrong. Stench is a great guy and one of the strongest heroes I know, even though he’s still just a kid. But, man, can he clear a room.

I would never hold it against him, though. Not after the amazing friend he’s been to me. We met in kindergarten. On the very first day, I was getting picked on because of my lack of a superpower by Cannonball. Like I mentioned earlier, Cannonball is the son of the Big Bouncer and he’s a real jerk.

On day one, Cannonball was threatening to roll right over me, when up steps this kid who was big enough to be a third grader. He was wearing an open orange vest with lots of pockets and matching orange pants. The pants had rows of canisters attached up and down the sides by small straps.

“It’s not nice to pick on others,” he said, stepping right up to Cannonball.

“Why don’t you go play with the rest of the ten-year-olds?” Cannonball mocked him, not letting go of me.

“I’m in kindergarten just like you,” the new kid said as he reached for Cannonball’s arm—the one holding me by the collar. “Now why don’t you let go of my friend here.”

I had never seen him before, but at that moment I was more than happy to have him as a friend. He barely squeezed Cannonball’s wrist and the round little creep started hollering. He backed off for a moment, and then his face turned red as he got really angry.

“Okay, so you’ve been held back a few years,” snorted Cannonball, “but that doesn’t mean I can’t still flatten you.”

“Just because I’m big doesn’t mean I was held back,” my new friend informed Cannonball, even as the bully came barreling toward him. “But it does mean I can pound the potato chips out of you if I have to.”

And, sure enough, he grabbed Cannonball and hoisted him straight into the air. No one was more surprised than Cannonball himself, who immediately began to yell in panic.

“So what do you think we should do with him?” The stranger turned to me, a mischievous grin on his face.

I looked around the playground and saw something that gave me a great idea.

“I think he might enjoy the seesaw,” I said, returning his grin.

NAME:
Stench.
POWER:
Incredible superstrength.
LIMITATIONS:
Sadly, a regrettable side effect of this power has led to this young hero’s unfortunate name.
CAREER:
The strongest kid by far at Watson Elementary and a member of the Junior Leaguers.
CLASSIFICATION:
A remarkable power as long as you’re standing upwind.

“Great idea.” He laughed. “Let’s give him a ride.”

I followed him as he carried the screaming Cannonball over to the seesaw. With no effort at all, he tossed Cannonball onto the far side and then jumped onto the nearer side. We both watched with satisfaction as Cannonball went flying off across the playground, his wail fading along with him.