The Escape Collection: (The Escape Collection) (90 page)

“Will it be fun?”

“The party?” Darci plucked a piece of lettuce from her plate. “Of course it'll be fun. We'll make sure that fun is the number one priority.”

“Will there be music? What about dancing? I think there should be dancing.”

“I think it's important for your friends to understand that diabetes doesn't mean that you're a different person. You're still, fun, lovable you. As goofy as you always were. So yes, there’ll be dancing. ”

That made Taylor laugh and they spent the rest of their dinner joking and planning the Sugar Crash Party.
 

After the dishes, Taylor retreated to her room to talk on the phone to Abby who was also brimming with ideas for the party. But at nine, Darci shut them down and made Tay turn out the light. As soon as she said goodnight Darci laced up her runners and headed out the door.
 

***

The muscles in her legs screamed as she pushed them to the limit so Darci slowed her pace as she rounded the corner that would lead her down the street to the cemetery. It wasn't every night that she chose that route, a route that most would shy away from. But despite the fact that Taylor was happy and excited about the party, Darci couldn't help but feel that there was something more she could do. She knew the Sugar Crash party would be good; it would increase awareness and understanding among Taylor's friends and their families. But what about the thousands of other people? The people who like Susanna and Monica who were going to judge Tay or tell her that if she just ate the right foods she could cure her disease, or look at her funny when she gave herself an insulin shot. What about them?

Darci pumped her arms in rhythm to her foot strike and turned into the cemetery. She should have been spooked, running alone through a graveyard in the middle of the night, but the park with the huge oak trees and perfectly kept grass was her quiet place. The place she could go to think things through. The place she could go where she didn’t feel alone.
 

She slowed to a walk and clutched her side, letting her breath slow as she approached Ryan’s tombstone. She ran her hands over the carved lettering. “Loving Husband and Father.”
 

Darci slumped to the ground and rested her back against the stone, letting the coolness of it penetrate her thin running shirt. Instead of chilling her, it comforted her.
 

Nobody knew that she came to the graveyard to be close to Ryan. Not even Taylor shared in that secret. Over the years, she went less and less on her own, reserving her visits mostly for Ryan's birthday and the anniversary of his death. Trips that she'd make with Taylor. But over the last few weeks while out for her runs, Darci found herself going to the cemetery almost as if her feet had a mind of their own. She needed Ryan. His guidance, his comfort, his ability to let her bounce ideas off him.
 

“I’m afraid, Ryan,” she whispered into the night air and leaned her head back against the granite. “But it's not Taylor I'm worried about. She's going to be fine. I know that. She's your daughter. She's tough like you, a survivor.” Darci took a deep breath and let it out slowly before speaking again. “It's me. I don't know if I can do this all on my own anymore.” Her thoughts flashed to Cam and the awful way she'd treated him. “And I don't think I want to,” she admitted.

Darci sat for a long time, letting her breathing slow and her heart rate return to normal. She spoke to Ryan as if he was sitting there with her. She told him about the soccer game and the scene Susanna made. Darci knew he would have laughed at her if he’d been there to see it. He never had any tolerance for stupidity that was hurtful to others. He would have been so proud of Taylor for being brave and Darci that he’d be all for the party they were throwing. But she also knew that Ryan would be angry at her for trying to do everything on her own. He'd always gotten after her for her stubborn streak and her 'pigheadedness' as he'd called it.
 

“Dammit, Ryan.” She looked up to the stars that dotted the dark sky. “Damn you for leaving me! I shouldn't have to do this on my own.” The anger Darci hadn’t felt since the days after Ryan’s death surged through her and she pushed herself up from the damp grass and took off in a sprint.
 

Once again, she pushed her body to the limit, relishing in the feel of the burn in her lungs as she sucked in the crisp air. She followed the path, taking a sharp right out of the graveyard and back on the street. The physical exertion distracted her mind and let her focus on her body, clearing her head of everything else. Right. Left. Right. She chanted to herself as her feet struck the pavement. Darci was so preoccupied with running, she didn't notice the man coming towards her until he was only a few houses away. When she looked up and saw him running in her direction, her breath caught in her throat and she almost tripped as her rhythm faltered.
 

The man lifted his right arm in a wave. Cam.
 

The anger she’d felt at Ryan’s graveside was replaced by a flutter in her chest. She'd missed Cam and despite everything she’d said to him, she was glad to see him.
 

“Hi,” she said simply when they got close enough. They’d both stopped running and stood awkwardly on the deserted sidewalk. “I hope you're not keeping tabs on me.” She meant it as a joke, but when Cam's face clouded over, she realized her mistake.

“You made it clear that you didn't want a relationship, Darci,” he said. “I got the message. I’m just out for my own run.” He moved to dodge around her and keep running.
 

Without thinking about it, she asked, “Hey. Do you want to run with me for a bit? I could use some company.”

“You? Darci Johnson is asking for company?” Cam crossed his arms over his chest. “I didn’t think I'd ever see the day.”

“Now you're just being mean,” she said. Darci pulled her leg up behind her, stretching her quad. “I should get going home anyway.” Dropping her leg, she started to run past him. Her face burned. She knew she'd deserved his animosity, but it still stung.
 

“Hey, slow down.” Cam reached out and grabbed Darci's arm, spinning her around. “Sorry,” he said when she was facing her.

“For yanking me? Or for being rude?”

“Okay, I deserved that.” He held his hand out. “Can we call a truce?”

She took his hand and tried to ignore the thrill that went through her body at his touch.
 

“The truth is, I was hoping to run into you. Literally.” He shrugged and she laughed. “I would love to keep you company on your way home.”

Darci nodded and together they set out at a much slower pace.
 

“So why were you hoping to run into me?” she asked.
 

“I thought of something you might be interested in, and I couldn't wait to tell you.”

“Oh?” Her eyes flicked over to him. Even in the dim light, she could see the sweat glistening off his forehead, and the damp shirt stuck to his chest. He'd been running for a while, and Darci couldn't help but wonder how long he'd been looking for her.
 

“All your talk about the Sugar Crash party, got me thinking and since you've been running so much lately, I thought you might be interested in doing more.”
 

“What does running have to do with diabetes?”

“A lot as it turns out,” Cam said. Even at the slower pace, it amazed Darci how easily he could carry on a conversation. It didn't look like it was costing him any effort at all. “At the end of May there's a fund-raising run in Clifton. All the funds raised go to diabetes research.”
 

Darci stopped short. Cam took a few more steps before he realized she was behind. He quickly turned and came back to stand in front of her.
 

“What did you say?”

A smile lit up his face. “I thought you might like that.”

“I do,” she said. “But I don't understand. What kind of run? And in Clifton? That’s an hour away.”

“It’s a pretty major deal,” Cam said. “That’s why it’s in the city. And you can run whatever distance you want, but I thought you might be interested in the half marathon.”

“Half marathon?” Darci swallowed hard. She couldn't even begin to think about the amount of training something like that would take. She'd heard about people running races but Darci only ran as a means of escape.
 

“You could run the marathon,” Cam said. Darci shot him a look and he laughed. “It's really not that far,” he said. “Besides, I figure you probably run at least fourteen or fifteen kilometers each night anyway. A half marathon is only a few more than that. Plus, we can raise some money and hopefully even a little awareness for diabetes research.”

“We?”

“I thought I'd do it with you.”
 

Darci searched his eyes for more. Was that all there was to it? He just wanted to run with her?
 

“So, what do you think?” he asked.

“I think…” Darci looked down at her running shoes and rubbed her arms. “I’m getting cold. Let’s go.” Without waiting for a response, she turned and started running.
 

Chapter 22

For the next few days, the party planning was in full force. Taylor and Abby sat at Darci's kitchen table and took care of the details. They drew up guest lists, which pretty much included everyone they knew, chose music, approved food choices, and made elaborate lists of everything they could think of. Darci had to laugh at them, diving into the plans with more enthusiasm than she'd ever seen them apply to any school projects.
 

Darci herself had called to ask Joelle if she would come and do a presentation at the party. Joelle had jumped at the idea, and had more than a few ideas on how to make it fun for the kids. The community center had offered up their banquet room at no charge when it became clear that Barb's backyard wouldn't be big enough to hold everyone, and everything seemed to be on track.
 

With nothing else to worry about, Darci's mind continually went back to Cam's offer. A half marathon? Could she really run that far? She knew she could. Cam was right; she ran a healthy distance every night. She should be able to add a few more kilometers, especially if she trained for it. But even knowing she could handle the distance, wasn't enough to make Darci sign up. There was something that niggled at her, something that she couldn't quite put her finger on.
 

“Mom,” Taylor called from the kitchen table. Darci popped her head up from the crossword puzzle she wasn't really working on. “Can we grab a snack? Coach Cam is going to be here in like, ten minutes to take us to practice.”

Darci stood and tossed the crossword onto the coffee table. “I thought I was taking you?”

“Oh no, Mrs. Johnson, Uncle Cam offered,” Abby piped up. “Is that okay?”

Darci nodded. “Of course it's okay. Make sure you have something filling,” she said. “And-”

“I know.” She put her hands of her hips. “Make sure you check your blood sugar.” She imitated her mother so perfectly that Darci had to bite back a laugh.
 

“So, you got it then?”
 

“Got it.”
 

***

Darci left the girls to find their snack and went out to the front yard to wait for Cam. He hadn't called and she hadn't made a move to call him either. She still didn't know where she stood with him, and what made it even more complicated, was that she still wasn't sure where she wanted things to stand with him.
 

She walked across her lawn to the flowerbed that had been left mostly untouched for the last few years. It was embarrassing really, how neglected her garden was. There just never seemed to be time. She knelt and plucked at a few weeds. It was Ryan who'd wanted the flowers. Every year Ryan had taken Taylor, even as a toddler, to the nursery where he'd selected a few plants, and seedlings, and then together they'd dig holes and plant them. Darci had loved watching them. It was so sweet to see father and daughter working together that she couldn't get mad when Ryan would finally bring Tay in for a bath, covered head to toe in dirt.
 

Darci pulled at another weed and a surge of guilt flashed through her. She should have tried harder to keep the garden up after Ryan died. For a while, their next-door neighbor, a retired school teacher had made it his mission to tend the plants. Darci never asked him, but at least once a week, she'd see Mr. Muir in her yard, making sure things looked nice. A few years ago, when he moved into a retirement home, Darci hadn't even thought about the garden. She hadn't thought of much.
 

She knelt and pushed aside a pile of dead leaves to expose a plant, struggling to find the sun. There hadn’t been time for anything, she thought. Between working and keeping Taylor happy, there wasn’t anything else. You know, it’s okay to ask for help every once in awhile. You don’t have to do it all alone. Cam’s voice echoed in her head. She never asked for help. Not anymore.
 

When Ryan was alive, they were a team. Darci depended on him. She relied on him and then he was gone. She’d had to do it on her own and she had.

Darci dug her bare hand into the dirt; the cool earth on her skin soothed her. She could still remember those days and weeks after Ryan's funeral, and the parade of people that came through the house. They'd all looked at her the same way. With their eyes cast down, their mouths grimaced into a half smile-half frown, and then there was the quick shrug of the shoulders which was almost always followed by an offer for a hug. It was the pity look. And everyone had the same one. She dug her other hand into the earth and pulled at a dead plant that may have once been a geranium. There were even a few people who’d actually asked her what she was going to do. As if she’d had any choice. The memory brought back the anger, and the fierce determination that she'd felt six years ago. No one thought she could do it. Everyone, her own mother included, thought she'd crumble without Ryan taking care of her. But she knew different. Darci knew then that she wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. She wouldn’t depend on anyone again. And she hadn’t. Darci ripped another plant from the earth, and reached for another. She yanked, and it came loose with a flurry of dirty spray. She tossed it in the growing pile next to her.