The Escape Collection: (The Escape Collection) (87 page)

“Is she going to be okay?” Darci glanced back to the curtain that Joelle slid into place. “A seizure? That’s crazy. I know Doctor Wilson said they could happen, but I didn’t…why did this happen? She’s done everything right.”

“She’s going to be fine.” Joelle led them to a bench pushed up against a wall next to the nurse’s station. “The seizures are scary, but sadly that probably won’t be the last one. I wish I could tell you something different.”

“But I don’t understand, Taylor said her blood sugar levels have been great. She’s been checking and giving herself the insulin. She’s done everything right.”

“Darci, Taylor’s levels were very low when she came in. And when I talked to her about it, she admitted that she’s been having some trouble controlling things.”

Darci looked up from her lap. “No. Taylor said-“

“I know what she said.” Joelle’s voice was kind and soft but it took a minute for what she said to sink in. Darci shook her head, and stood up.
 

“I don’t believe you. Taylor wouldn’t lie to me.” She took a step towards Taylor’s curtained bed, but stopped and turned around. “I’m going to ask her. She wouldn’t lie to me, she never lies to me.”

“Don’t do that,” Joelle said. She stood next to Darci. “It’s not going to do any good, and you know it. Taylor’s having a hard time and she’s already upset. It can’t be easy to know that you just had a seizure in front of all your friends. I’m going to suggest that Doctor Nate come to speak to her again.”

“The shrink?”
 

“He’s the psychiatrist, yes,” Joelle said. “I think it will be good for her. Diabetes is a lot to take in. Especially when you’re Taylor’s age.” Another nurse called to Joelle from down the hall. She waved her hand in the air in response. “I have to run. But think about it. I really think you would benefit from talking to him too,” she added and then she was gone, jogging away to the next emergency.

Darci watched her go but didn’t return to Taylor’s bedside right away. Instead, she sat back down on the bench and put her head in her hands.
 

***

She didn’t cry. Ever since the day Taylor learned how to give needles, Darci had reserved her tears for her nightly runs. It was easier to let out her emotions when she was alone and no one could see. Taylor had enough to deal with; she didn’t need her mom freaking out too.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, Darci thought. If she hadn’t agreed to the sleepover. If she’d paid more attention to Taylor’s levels, insisted to see them herself. If she hadn’t been spending so much time at the store, and with Cam, none of this would have happened. Her first duty was to be a mother. Especially with so much going on, and with Taylor adjusting to living with diabetes, she should be focusing on her daughter.
 

The guilt built up inside her. She knew she had to make choices, Darci had always known that. Ever since Ryan died, she’d known that her own needs no longer mattered. Taylor was first. She had to be. Darci rubbed her hands over her face and took a deep breath.
 

“Darci?” The cushion gave under Cam’s weight as he sat next to her. “How is she? Barb said it was a seizure. I’m sorry, that must have been so scary for her. Barb said the girls were watching a movie when-“

“Cam.” Darci held up her hand and looked away. “Please.”
 

“How is she now? Is she awake? Poor kid.” Cam took Darci’s hand and squeezed. “She’s been through so much. You both have, and now this.”

Darci turned. “How did you get back here?”

“Doctor Wilson let me back. He remembered me from before, and said I could come in and see-“

“He shouldn’t have done that.” Darci pulled her hand away.
 

“Pardon me?” She could hear the confusion in his voice, and she hated herself for it, but Taylor had to come first.
 

“He shouldn’t have let you back here,” Darci said. She turned on the bench so she was facing him. The hurt in his eyes made her chest ache, but she didn’t back down. “I can handle this, Cam. You should go.”

“Go?” Cam shook his head, but didn’t make any move to get up. “Darci, I don’t understand. I thought we-“

“I don’t care what you thought.” Darci flinched at the sound of her own voice. She swallowed hard to keep herself from apologizing. “Whatever happened,” she continued without making eye contact, “it shouldn’t have. I don’t have the time or space in my life right now for anyone else. Taylor is my number one priority and I need to focus on her.”

“Bull shit.” Cam sat back and squared his shoulders. “That’s an excuse and you know it.” He reached for her hand again. “Darci, you’re allowed to be happy. You’re allowed to have someone in your life too.”

She closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying the sensation of her hand in his. The warmth from his skin penetrated hers. It felt good. She let herself imagine what it would be like to be with him. To have Cam part of her life, Taylor’s life. But the fantasy could only last a second because the reality was that she’d been spending too much time focusing on everything but her daughter. The sounds of the busy emergency room all around them brought Darci back to the moment.
 

“No, Cam.” Darci tried her best to keep her voice even so it wouldn’t betray her. She spoke slowly, forcing herself to believe the words she spoke. “I don’t need anyone. This was a mistake.” She slid her hand out from his.
 

“It wasn’t -“

“It was.” Darci stood and straightened her skirt. “I have to go.”

Cam stood too, so close she could smell the aftershave he wore. She knew if she closed her eyes, even for a moment, she’d be able to recreate their kiss. The urge to go to him, to let him wrap his arms around her, was strong, but she knew she couldn’t.
 

“Darci?”

She didn’t meet his eyes again, just shook her head and mumbled, “I’m sorry.”
 

She pushed past him and held herself as tall as she could but didn’t look back. It wasn’t until she slipped the curtain back around Taylor’s bed and was safely inside, that she let her posture slump. Darci hung her head and reached around to massage the tension from her neck. She couldn’t help but question what she’d just done. She knew she hadn’t been fair to him. Or to herself.
 

“Mom?”
 

Darci looked up to see Taylor watching her.
 

“Are you okay?” Taylor asked.

Darci took a deep breath. Fair or not, she reaffirmed to herself, Taylor came first. “Of course, kiddo,” she said, and pasted on the biggest smile she could. “I’m fine. Just worried about you.”

Chapter 17

Doctor Wilson wanted to keep Taylor for observation overnight, but he let them go home the next day after running a few tests, including a brain scan. The doctor assured Darci they were just routine, but she couldn’t shake the icy fear that clung to her when she thought about what could have happened to her little girl’s brain.
 

When they were given the all clear to go home, Joelle warned them that Taylor would likely feel like she’d been hit by a truck for the next few days. “When all of the muscles contract during a seizure, it causes a lot of stress on the body,” Joelle said.
 

Darci tried to nod and smile and do her best to appear understanding and as if she was fully in control, but on the inside, she was fighting back a scream.
 

Even after they got home, Taylor still didn’t want to talk to Darci about the seizure and she wouldn’t talk to her friends either. Abby had phoned three times, but Taylor wouldn’t talk to her. Just like when she was six years old and had fallen off her bike, Darci wanted to kiss it better for her and the fact that she couldn’t do anything to fix it, twisted at her.
 

As soon as they got home, Taylor went straight to her room and turned her music on full blast. Darci knew enough to give her space. It went against every mothering instinct she had, but instead of chasing her, Darci let her go.
 

Darci hoped it was soon, though. She hated to do it, but she was needed at the store later in the afternoon. Monica insisted that she couldn’t work a double shift, and given that it was a school day, the part time girls weren’t an option. And with all of the shenanigans that Monica had pulled earlier, she didn’t trust her to help out anyway. Darci knew she should just tell Felicity what was going on with Taylor, and let her know that she might need a bit of time off. But every time the idea popped into her head, Darci shot it down. Felicity wouldn’t understand, especially since she’d waited so long. After all, things should be under control by now.
 

Darci ran the water in the sink to do the dishes, and almost laughed at the thought of things being under control. She slid a few plates into the water, squirted soap on top of everything and started scrubbing. She gave Taylor an hour. An hour of cleaning things that didn’t need to be cleaned, folding laundry, organizing books on the shelf and whatever other busy work she could find to keep herself occupied. Darci hoped Tay would come out on her own, but when it didn’t happen, she braced herself, picked up the duster as an excuse, and headed for her daughter’s room

“Tay?” Darci knocked gently. “Are you sleeping? I thought I should give your room a little dusting.”

Nothing.
 

“Tay?” Darci knocked louder.
 

When she didn’t answer the second time, panic built up and she flung open the door. “Are you…”

Taylor was sitting up in bed, staring at her mother. “You don’t dust,” she said, and pointed to the duster in Darci’s hands.

“I don’t…” Darci looked down to her hands and back to her daughter. “I thought…are you…”

“You thought I had another seizure?” Taylor’s voice was flat. She hugged her knees close to her chest. “I’m fine,” she said, resting her head on her legs.

“Oh, Tay.” Darci moved across the room and sat on the bed. She stroked Taylor’s hair the way she used to like when she was younger.
 

“I’m fine, Mom. I just feel so stupid.” Taylor looked up. Unshed tears in her eyes. “I can’t go back to school. Everyone’s going to think I’m a freak.”

“They’re-“

“I had a seizure, Mom. Have you ever seen one?” Darci shook her head. “We watched a video in health class last year about epilepsy. It’s crazy. It’s…I can’t believe I did that.”

“That’s enough.”
 

The sharpness in her mother’s voice was enough to get Taylor’s attention. “Pardon?”
 

“I said, that’s enough.” Darci stood and grabbed some laundry from the floor. “You had a seizure. You have diabetes. It’s not the end of the world.” Darci wasn’t entirely sure where she was going with her mini lecture, but she kept going. Maybe she could convince herself too? “You can’t live the rest of your life in your room.”
 

“Yes I can.” Taylor buried her head in her pillow.

“No.” Darci threw the sweater she was holding at Taylor. “I will not let you hide in your room and feel sorry for yourself. You get one day, Tay. That’s it. And then it’s back to school and soccer. You have a game tomorrow and Doctor Wilson said you’d be ready to play.”

“Mom.”
 

Darci picked up another sweater and started folding it. Anything to keep from telling Taylor that it was fine; she didn’t have to go to school. That she could stay home and hide with her. That’s what Darci wished she could do too, but it wasn’t going to do either of them any good. “One day, Taylor,” Darci said again. She put the hoodie down and started walking to the door.

“I’m sorry, Mom.”
 

Something in Taylor’s voice stopped her and Darci turned around.
 

“I didn’t even ask you how your date was with Coach Cam.”
 

Darci looked down at her hands, but not fast enough to hide her blush.
 

“Mom?” Taylor asked again. “Did it go okay? I know I screwed it up and everything, but when are you going out again?”

“We’re not.” She looked up and faced Taylor head on.

Taylor hopped up on her knees, her own drama seemingly forgotten. “What do you mean?” she moaned. “Please tell me it’s not because of me.”
 

Darci forced her face to stay neutral. “It has nothing to do with you. I just don’t think I want to date anyone right now.”

“Because of me.” It wasn’t a question. The pained look on her daughter’s face told her everything.
 

“No,” Darci lied again. “It has nothing to do with you.”

“But Coach Cam is perfect for you. Mom, you really should-“

“No,” Darci snapped. She instantly regretted it, but couldn’t take it back. They stared at each other for a few moments. Finally, Darci swallowed hard and squared her shoulders. “I have to go to work, kiddo. I’m sorry. Just hang out and relax today. There’s lots of food in the fridge. You know my number and I’ll call and check on you.”

“I’m not a kid anymore, Mom. I can handle it.”

Darci stopped at the door, looked back and smiled. “I know.” She turned and left the room.

“Then maybe you should grow up,” Darci heard Taylor mutter. She paused, but didn’t turn around. There was nothing she could say to that. She closed the door behind her.

Chapter 18

Darci did her best to hide the bags under her eyes with layers of make up before she dragged herself to the shop. Taylor’s words kept replaying in her mind and every time she recalled the look on her daughter’s face when she told her she wouldn’t be seeing Cam again, she cringed. Taylor had looked the way Darci felt on the inside. Admitting that she liked him was the easy part. What wasn’t there to like? But she wasn’t in high school anymore and it wasn’t as easy as simply liking someone. She had responsibilities.

She put the car into park outside Golden Moon Health and took a moment to compose herself before heading in. She had to stop thinking about it, and focus on the shop. Monica hadn’t made any overt attempts to sabotage her in the last few weeks, but their relationship had definitely shifted far away from friendship, and Darci had to stay alert. Any thoughts of Cam or the relationship they did or did not have, would have to wait.