The Difference Engine (34 page)

In a split-second the melee was melting away from Mallory, men falling, billowing, scrambling away headlong on hands and knees in their utter beast-like eagerness to flee. Men were trampled before his eyes. Mallory stood for an instant, his jaw dropping in astonishment within his cambric mask, the gun still poised overhead.

Then a bolt of good sense struck him. He retreated. He tried to jam the pistol back into his waistband as he ran, but saw with shocked alarm that the hammer was cocked again, the gun ready to fire at any touch of the trigger. He dangled the treacherous thing at arm’s-length as he fled.

At length he stopped, coughing bitterly. From behind him, wrapped in the roiling obscurity of fog, came scattered pistol-shots and bestial cries of rage, derision, glee.

“Dear Christ,” Mallory muttered, and peered at the mechanism. The devilish thing had cocked itself automatically, channeling part of the powder-blast into the piston beneath the barrel, which shunted the grooved cylinder back against a stationary ratchet, spinning the next round into place and kicking the hammer back. Mallory hooked both thumbs over the hammer and worked at the trigger with care, until he could close the mechanism. He slid the pistol back into his waistband.

He had not outrun the line of pasted handbills. They still ranged before him, apparently inexhaustible in number, slapped-up one after another in a ragged line. He followed them, through a street now seemingly empty. From somewhere came a distant crash of glass and whoops of boyish laughter.

SECRET
KEYS
made
CHEAPLY
, said a plastered bill. Handsome
WATER-PROOFS
for
INDIA
and the
COLONIES
. Apprentice
CHYMISTS
and
DRUGGISTS
Wanted.

Ahead he heard the quiet clop of slow hooves, the squeak of an axle. Emerging from the mist, then, the bill-sticker’s van, a tall, black wagon, its towering sides mounted with great shouting billboards. A masked fellow in a loose grey raincoat was shoving a plastered bill against a wall. The wall was protected by a tall iron fence some five feet distant from the brick, but this bothered the sticker-man not at all, for he had a specialized roller-device on a kind of long broom-handle.

Mallory stepped nearer to watch. The bill-sticker did not look up, having reached a crucial moment of his work. The bill itself, which was tightly wrapped about a black rubber roller, was pressed and rolled, bottom-upward, against the wall; the sticker, at the same moment, deftly squeezing a hand-piston on the shaft of his device, which squirted out a gruelly mess of paste from twin spigots bracketed to the roller’s ends. Another swipe downward to complete the pasting, and it was done.

The van moved on. Mallory stepped closer and examined the bill, which extolled, and depicted in an Engine-cut, the beautifying effects of Colgate’s Clear Complexion Soap.

The sticker-man and his van moved on. Mallory followed it. The sticker-man noticed Mallory’s attention, and it seemed to rattle him a bit, for he muttered something at the driver, and the van moved on a good ways.

Mallory followed discreetly. The van stopped now at a corner of Fleet Street, where the hoardings bore, by old tradition, the great shouting bills of the city’s newspapers. But a bill was boldly slapped across the face of the Morning Clarion, and then another, and another.

More theatrical prints this time. DR.
BENET
of
PARIS
was to lecture on the “Therapeutic Value of Aquatic Sleep”;
THE
CHAUTAUQUA
SOCIETY
OF
THE
SUSQUEHANNA
PHALANSTERY
would present a symposium on “The Social Philosophy of the Late Dr. Coleridge”, and a Scientific Lecture with Kinotropy would be presented by DR.
EDWARD
MALLORY
. . .

Mallory halted, grinning behind his mask.
EDWARD
MALLORY! He had to admit that the name looked very well in eighty-point Engine-Gothic. It was a great pity that the speech could not come off, but clearly Huxley, or likely one of his staff-men, had placed the order for bills with promptness, and there had been no cancellation.

A shame, Mallory thought, gazing at the departing bill-van with a new proprietorial fondness.
EDWARD
MALLORY
. He would have liked to keep the bill as a souvenir; and thought, indeed, of peeling it loose, but the gobbets of paste dissuaded him.

He looked more closely, hoping to commit the text to memory. At a second glance the printing-job was not all it might have been, for the black lettering had, here and there, smudgy rims of scarlet, as if the printing-pins had been soaked in red ink and not properly cleaned.

“The Museum of Practical Geology, Jermyn Street, has the honor to present to the London Public, for two shows only, DR.
EDWARD
MALLORY
. Dr. Mallory, F.R.S., F.R.G.S., will present the thrilling history of his discovery of the famous
LAND
LEVIATHAN
in savage Wyoming; his theories of its milieu, habits, and sustenance; his encounters with the savage Cheyenne INDIANS; detailing with this the
MELANCHOLY
and
HIDEOUS
MURDER
of his closest rival the late
PROFESSOR
RUDWICH; Secrets of Professional Gambling, specifically that of
RATTING-DENS
, to be imparted to those eager to know the
TECHNIQUE
OF
ODDS-MAKING
, to be followed by a most luscious
DANCE
OF
THE
7
VEILS
to be performed by the several Misses Mallory, giving a Frank Account of their Several Introductions to the
ART
of LOVE; only Gentlemen will be admitted; Price 2/6. Show to be accompanied by the advanced kinotropy of MR.
KEETS
.”

Mallory gritted his teeth and broke into a sprint. He ran ahead of the van, which was moving on at foot-pace, and seized the bridle of the mule, two-handed. The animal stopped with a snort and a stumble. Its filthy head was swaddled in a canvas mask adapted from a feed-bag.

The coachman emitted a yelp from behind a smut-stained muffler. He leapt down from his wooden seat to land with a stagger, waving a hickory cudgel. “Hullo! Leave off!” he cried. “Bar that nonsense, Davey, and hook it sharp . . .” His voice trailed off as he took Mallory’s measure, slapping the cudgel against his callused palm with an attempt at menace.

The second bill-sticker rushed up from behind the van to join his friend, brandishing his long-handled rig like a pitchfork.

“Hedge off, mister,” the coachman suggested. “We ain’t doin’ you no harm.”

“You most certainly are!” Mallory bellowed. “Where did you rascals obtain those bills? Tell me at once!”

The taller man defiantly shook the paste-smeared roller of his rig at Mallory’s face. “London’s wide-open today! You want to make a fight of where we dab our paper, then just you try us!”

One of the large advert-boards on the side of the van swung open suddenly, on squealing brass hinges. A carriage-door, it seemed, for a small stout balding man hopped through it, from within the van. He wore a neat red shooting-coat, and checkered trousers tucked into patent-leather walking-boots. He was bare-headed, his round, red-cheeked face was not masked, and to Mallory’s astonishment, he was smoking a large, vilely fuming pipe.

“What’s all this then?” he inquired mildly.

“A ruffian, sir!” the coachman declared. “Some villain bully-rock sent by Turkey-Legs!”

“What, all by hisself?” the stout man said, with a quizzical arch of his brows. “That don’t seem right.” He looked Mallory up and down. “You know who I am, son?”

“No,” Mallory said. “Who are you?”

“I’m the gent they call the King of the Bill-Stickers, my boy! If you don’t know that fact, you must be mighty green at this business!”

“I’m not in your business. I, sir, am Dr. Edward Mallory!”

The stout man folded his arms, and rocked a bit on his boot-heels. “So?”

“You just pasted-up a bill that grossly libeled me!”

“Oh,” said the King. “So that’s your bellyache, is it?” He grinned in evident relief. “Well, that’s nothing to do with me, Dr. Edward Mallory. I just paste ‘em; I don’t print ‘em. I ain’t liable.”

“Well, you’re not putting up any more of those damnable libel-sheets!” Mallory said. “I want all the rest of them, and I demand to know where you obtained them!”

The King quieted his two bristling henchmen with a regal move of his hand. “I’m a very busy man, Dr. Mallory. If you’d care to step up in my van, and talk to me like a reasonable gentleman, then perhaps I’ll listen, but I’ve no time for any bluster or threats.” He fixed Mallory with a sharp squint of his little blue eyes.

“Well,” Mallory blurted, taken aback. Though he knew he was in the right, the King’s quiet retort had taken the steam out of his indignation; he felt rather foolish of a sudden, and rather out of his element, somehow. “Surely,” he muttered. “Very well.”

“Fair enough. Tom, Jemmy, let’s back to work.” The King clambered deftly into his van.

Mallory, after a moment’s hesitation, followed him, heaving himself up into the body of the oddly made carnage. There were no seats inside; the flooring from wall to wall was dimpled and buttoned with thick maroon cushioning, like a Turkish ottoman. Slanted pigeon-holes of varnished wood lined the walls, stuffed with tightly rolled bills. A large trapdoor in the ceiling had been flung open, admitting a gloomy light. It stank direly of paste and cheap, black, shag tobacco.

The King sprawled at his ease, propping himself on a fat tufted pillow. The mule brayed under the driver’s whip-crack, and the van lurched into sluggish squeaking motion. “Gin and water?” the King offered, opening a cabinet.

“Plain water, if you please,” Mallory said.

“Straight water it is.” The King poured from a pottery canteen into a tin mug. Mallory tugged his frayed mask down below his chin, and drank with an aching thirst.

The King gave Mallory a second round, and then a third. “Perhaps a tasty squeeze o’ lemon with that?” The King winked. “I do hope you know your limit.”

Mallory cleared his slimy throat. “Very decent of you.” His face felt oddly naked without the mask, and this show of civility within the King’s van, together with its chemical stink of glue, almost worse than the Thames, had quite dizzied him. “I regret it if I, er, seemed a bit sharp earlier.”

“Well, it’s the lads, you know,” said the King, with generous tact. “A cove must stand ready to handle his fists in the bill-sticking business. Just yesterday, my boys had to lay it on pretty brisk with old Turkey-Legs and his lads, over a matter of sticking-space within Trafalgar Square.” The King sniffed in disdain.

“I’ve had certain sharp troubles of my own during this emergency,” Mallory said hoarsely. “But basically. I’m a reasonable man, sir. Very rational — not the sort who looks for trouble; you mustn’t think that.”

The King nodded sagely. “I’ve never yet known Turkey-Legs to hire any scholar as a bully-rock. By your dress and manner I take you to be a savant, sir.”

“You have a sharp eye.”

“I like to think so,” the King allowed. “So now that we have that matter clear, perhaps you’ll informate me concerning this grievance you seem to hold.”

“Those bills you’ve pasted are forgeries,” Mallory said. “And libelous. They’re certainly not legal.”

“As I explained before, that’s none of my affair,” the King said. “Let me tell you a few facts of commerce, straight-out. For dabbing-up a hundred double-crown sheets, I expect to make one pound one shilling; which is to say tuppence and six-tenths of a penny per sheet; say three pence, rounded out. Now if you should care to purchase certain of my bills at that rate, I might be ready to talk business.”

“Where are they?” Mallory said.

“If you’d care to have a look among the cubbyholes for the items in question I will oblige you.”

When the crew had stopped to paste more bills, Mallory began to sort through the stock. The bills were tightly wrapped in neat thick perforated scrolls, as dense and hefty as bludgeons.

The King passed a scroll through the trap-door to the driver. Then he peaceably tapped out the dottle of his meerschaum, refilled it from a twist of coarse paper, and lit it with a German tinder-box. He blew a cloud of foulness with every appearance of satisfaction.

“Here they are,” Mallory said. He peeled the outermost sheet from the roll and flapped it out within the van. “Have a look at this abomination, will you? It looks quite splendid at first, but the text is obscenely outrageous!”

“Standard roll o’ forty; that’ll be six shillings even.”

“Read here,” Mallory said, “where it as much as accuses me of murder!”

The King, politely, turned his eyes upon the sheet. His lips moved as he puzzled painfully over the title. “Ma Lorry,” he said at length. “One of your lorry-shows, is it?”

“Mallory — that’s my name!”

“It’s a demi-sheet theatrical, no illos,” the King said. “Bit smudgy . . . oh yes, I remember these.” He sighed smoke. “I might ‘a known no good would come of taking this consignment. Mind you, the rascal paid in advance though.”

“Who? Whom?”

“Down in Limehouse, in the West India Docks,” the King said. “A deal of commotion in that locale, Dr. Mallory. Rascals slapping brand-new bills up all over every wall and hoarding in sight, since yesterday. My boys were inclined to make a bit of trouble over that encroachment, till Captain Swing — that’s what he calls hisself — saw fit to engage our services.”

Mallory’s armpits prickled with sweat. “Captain Swing, is it?”

“Sporting-fellow of some kind, to judge by his dress,” the King said cheerfully. “Short, red-headed, squinty — had a bump on his head, just here. Crazy as a bedbug, I should say. He was polite enough though, not proposing to make any trouble for the bill-sticking trade once customary matters was explained to him. And he had him a sight of ready money.”

“I know that man!” Mallory said, his voice trembling. “He’s a violent Luddite conspirator. He may be the most dangerous man in England!”