The Devastatingly Beautiful Series (15 page)

“I’ll be in touch. Tomorrow. Go get some sleep, Molly, you look like you need it.” He adds, then walks out into the dark night. Wonderful. How in the world am I going to convince Tatum to stay home that weekend? Today’s already been tough between us, this is just going to make things between us even more strained.

6

Tatum

I sit on the porch the entire time she’s gone, thinking about how much has really changed in the last month. I call my dad and filled him in on the blanket incident. He’s not too thrilled about it, and is planning on looking into what happened with it. He had to leave quickly, though, so now I sit, all alone. I feel empty when she isn’t here, which is a very strange feeling for me. I’m used to being on my own, not having anyone to answer to. Now, with Molly, I want to be with her every waking minute. I want to spend my life making her happy. I want to be the one that helps her out of tough situations. I want to be the one that celebrates with her, the one she thinks to call first in good times and bad. Hell, I’m becoming a hopeless romantic. The men I used to make fun of under my breath, the ones that I swore I’d never be. She did this to me, though. She’s my everything.

Breaking my thoughts, I see her park the car in front of the house. She doesn’t get out right away, and I’m not sure if she knows I’m sitting here. I watch her from the porch, the streetlight lighting up the inside of the car just enough to make out her movements. She just sits there for a minute, then puts her hands over her face. They stay there for a moment, like she’s troubled, then when she lowers her hands I notice her wiping under her eyes. Like she’s wiping away tears.

My face starts to get hot, thinking of all the awful things he did to make her cry. She’s so tough, though, what could be so bad that she would be crying by herself in her car? Why isn’t she at least crying on my shoulder? Do I go down there to her and let her know I saw her, or should I stay right here and play dumb? Why are relationships so difficult!?

I chose option 2, staying put in my chair afraid that if I did get up I wouldn’t stop until I was beating the face of Mr. Robert Delany. That would be bad, though. I think.

Molly finally gets it in her to crawl out of the car and come up the sidewalk. She stops on the stairs and gives me a weak smile, puffy eyes and all.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hey you, mind telling me what has you so upset tonight?”

“Oh, you saw that?” She looks down at her feet. She looks embarrassed. I don’t want her to ever be embarrassed with me. I want her to be comfortable with me. Comfortable enough to cry on my shoulder instead of alone in her dark car.

“Yea. I didn’t like the fact that you were meeting him tonight, and then you come home and have a tear storm in your car before coming in to me. What’s going on babe? I’m starting to get worried” And Tatum Savage doesn’t worry about things like this. At least that’s how it used to be before his heart was overtaken by a wild haired, green eyed beauty.

Molly sighs and drops down on the step with her back facing me. Why’s she being so distant tonight? I want to shake her and force her to tell me. The old Tatum would’ve given up at this point, but I can’t with her, so I’m patient. I’ll wait until she’s ready to talk. She’s tough on the outside, but I know there is a lot more than a soon approaching wedding on her mind.

“He’s worried that we aren’t going to be professional at the wedding after the display he saw in the office,” she finally says quietly.

“Okay. I can see where he is coming from, maybe… unfortunately… but he has to know your business better than that. You obviously told him we would be nothing but professional, though. I mean, we are going to be insanely busy all three days, so what is he so worried about?” I don’t have a good feeling of where this was going.

“His cousin would hate to be overshadowed by our passion for one another.”

“She’s the fucking bride, no one will be able to overshadow the bride in a Delany wedding,” I scoff.

“That’s not what he thinks. He says you are out. Staying home this weekend.”

Now would be a good time to continue breathing, Tatum.

“And you told him to fuck off, correct?” I growl out.

“Tatum, I need this wedding. It’s the biggest name I’ve ever had as a client. It will do wonders for my business and my bank account.”

“Molly, tell me you told him no.” I’m starting to get the feeling she didn’t stick up for us like I’m hoping she did. She’s silent, and she won’t look at me. Fuck.

“I tried.” She whispers.

“FUCK no. That’s what I say about that. You are not spending three days with the Delany’s without me right by your side!” I feel sick. She is not spending all weekend with this family. I didn’t like the thought of it being a Delany wedding, but I was living with it since I’d be able to be there and watch over her. Without me there, there’s no telling what they’ll do to her!

She turns and looks at me. Not really looking at me, though. It’s like she’s looking through me, like she’s trying to detach herself from the situation. From me.

“I’m very sorry you feel that way, Tatum. However, the client is always right. If this is what they want and they are paying me for it, then I have to listen.” Fucking NO. It’s like I’m talking to a Goddamned robot! Where’d my strong willed woman go?!

“Like hell you do. Molly I have all the money you will ever need, how much do I need to tell you that?! Just tell me what you need… how much you need… I’ll give it all to you. It’s all yours. Whatever you do, you can’t go to this wedding without me. They’re dangerous babe. I’ve already lost you once, I won’t make it again.” I’m begging, I know I am, but there’s nothing else I can do at this point. Sure I love her because she’s strong willed… and right now her will to be the higher power is winning out.

Shit.

Looking at me with a blank expression, she sighs and shakes her head, then walks in the house without saying another word.

Fuck!

Molly

I feel so sick right now. Unsure if it’s the hormones or the recent addition of the threats and blackmail from the Delany family, I try to lay down and go to sleep, but every time I close my eyes I see the horror that I lived through just a few short weeks ago. I don’t know where Tatum went or if he’s still here. I know he’s pissed at me, but he’s going to need to get over it. I need this wedding. I just wish there were a way for him to be there with me.

Laying there, I imagine what life could be like if I really am pregnant. I let my mind wander aimlessly through dreams of babies, diapers, middle of the night feedings. All of the things that parents complain about, I want so badly to enjoy. I’ve never really given thought to getting pregnant again since no doctor ever gave me hope that it would happen, but ever since those two little lines showed up on the test I can’t stop myself. I know it’s probably not the best thing to be doing, but it just happens.

I should tell him. I know I should. I think I’m more scared, though. What if he doesn’t want any more kids? What if having one and losing one was enough for him to not want any more? I don’t think I’d be able to take that type of rejection from him. This man walked into my life a very short while ago and stole my heart. I never thought I’d love again, never thought I’d have the prospect of a family again, but here I am. What if it’s not what he wants?

Honestly, I should be more worried about the fact that Robert Delany is blackmailing me, threatened my unborn child, and is forcing my hand at the decision to go into a wedding as big as it is without my assistant. I should be more worried that I’m wrapped up in drama with the Delany family. I should be, but the thought of Tatum leaving me scares me more. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t turn into this woman, but here I am. Lying in bed, unable to sleep, worrying over a guy I just met. Granted, I don’t feel like I had much of a choice in falling in love, though. It just happened.

There’s a soft knock on the door and I realize I’ve been sitting here in the dark crying about things that are out of my control. This isn’t me! I wipe my eyes, thankful that it’s dark and he can’t see the red puffy circles around them, and tell him it’s open.

Tatum walks in, not angry but looking more like an injured puppy. Like someone broke him.

“You still awake?” he says, slowly walking towards the bed.

“Yea. Can’t sleep.” He knows all too well the trouble I’ve had with sleeping lately. The only way I’m able to fall asleep anymore is in his arms, and he wasn’t here tonight to hold me. It hurts, actually, thinking that one man can cause so much pain in my chest.

He stretches out on the bed next to me, hands under his head, staring at the ceiling. We both know we need to talk about this, but neither of us make a move to start the conversation. God I don’t want to hurt him.

“I tried, you know” I start. He doesn’t move, but I know he’s awake, taking in everything I’m about to say. The only way out of this mess is to tell him the truth. My past is so full of lies, I don’t want any more lies clouding our relationship.

“He threatened me.” I feel him tense next to me, his breathing hitches while he tries to control his response to my admission. “I told him I couldn’t do the shoot without you. I told him we would be professional. He wouldn’t listen. He told me he would pull the contract, which would ruin my credibility. ” Okay so not quite the truth, but I’m getting there.

“I don’t get it, Molly. Why does this wedding mean so much? Why can’t you just back out?”

I sigh. He doesn’t understand my need of being able to take care of myself.

“You don’t know what it feels like to lose everything you had. To lose the love of your life, the one you had depended on since you were 18 years old. When everything happened, I promised myself I would never become dependent on another man. Ever. It’s hard for me, what we are doing.” The truth hurts to speak, so I know it hurts for him to hear. He’s been acting like this is all hunky-dory, but it’s been hard for me to adjust to this new lifestyle of having someone to depend on.

By now he has turned on his side, staring at me in the dark. It’s well after midnight, but I’m not tired anymore. I’m ready to put it all out there. Maybe if he knows the truth, then Rob won’t have such a hold on me when it comes to the terms of the wedding and Tatum will be able to join me. That’s all I want, really. I wanted Tatum to accept happily the possibility of having a baby and be able to continue on with the photography business with him by my side. Ai want to do this my way.

“I feel like you’re hiding something more, Molly.” His voice is gentle but I can tell he’s trying his hardest to stay calm. Without saying a word, I get up, walk to my purse and grab the test. Knowing how his ex-girlfriend sprung her pregnancy on him I’m trying to be as gentle as possible with this news.

My hands are shaking as I walk across the dark room. This could very possibly be the end of us. He could see the results and run. It could happen, so I brace myself for the worst and hand him the test.

“What is this?” His voice rough. I can’t answer as the tears are threatening. “Molly, what the fuck is this?”

“I took this yesterday, Tatum.” I say, barely a whisper.

I hear the breath rush out of him and he curses under his breath.

“Are you serious, Molly?” His voice is like gravel, rough and unemotional. Shit.

I nod, silently answering his question, unable to turn to face him. I can’t see the betrayal in his eyes. The look of pity for the woman he knocked up unfortunately.

“This isn’t some cruel, sick joke?”

I shake my head. “I’m so sorry.”

The words come out before I even know why I said them. Once they’re out there’s no taking them back. I’m sorry that I’m having a baby. I’m not sorry that I’m finally going to get what I thought I always wanted. I am sorry, though, that Tatum is going to feel trapped. I never wanted that. I start rambling as a coping mechanism.

“You don’t have to say anything. I don’t expect anything. I don’t expect any money. No expectations. I don’t want you to feel trapped, that’s not what this is.”

“Stop Molly.” His voice booms in the dark bedroom. I feel his hands wrap around me and he hugs me tighter than he ever has before. We sit there, tears form in my eyes and spilled down my cheeks. He doesn’t say anything for a long time, but I’m no longer worried. This isn’t the reaction that I was bracing myself for. This is way better.

He finally sits up and places his hands on my face, staring at me. The moonlight and streetlight coming in through the window lights up enough of his face to see the glow in his eyes as he stares at me with an adoration I didn’t think possible.

“Thank you, Molly” he whispers.

“Don’t, Tatum. I don’t want to get your hopes up. I wasn’t going to tell you, but I couldn’t keep it from you any longer.”

“You weren’t going to tell me?” He drops his hands and looks at me, confusion replacing the adoration from earlier.

“I wanted to meet with a doctor before telling anyone. With the news I got after I was shot, I didn’t think I’d ever get pregnant. I really wanted to get an ultrasound done to confirm everything before I got my hopes up, along with anyone else’s. I wasn’t going to keep it from you permanently...just until I was 100% sure…” I trail off. He knows what I was going to say. Just until I was 100% sure it wasn’t a false positive. They happen all the time.

“Baby… I don’t even know where to start. Molly, before you I never thought I wanted any of this. The house, sharing everything, caring for someone as deeply as I care for you. I never thought I wanted a family. Now. This. It’s… aahh!” He grabs my face again and kisses me harder this time, laughing a hearty laugh. “You’re giving me everything I thought I never wanted… and I couldn’t be happier!”