The Demon Side (11 page)

“I know that when you’re around, I feel safe nothing could ever hurt me. I get butterflies in my stomach when you touch me. I know your soul, Ra. I don’t know how, but I know. I knew it the second I saw you. You weren’t meant for this existence. You fought for good once, and I’m certain you will again.” Etta was strong in words. She spoke with solid confidence. She described what I felt.

“There’s no going back, Etta. Once you’re damned, you can’t go back. I’m worse than a sinner…I’m a fallen. Fallen are never forgiven.”

“How do you know if you don’t remember what you did before being here?”

There are just some things in this world you can’t explain to a person, and this was one. I may not have shown her the extent of how awful I could be, but she was a fool for thinking I could be “saved.”

“Let’s talk about something else.” I gritted my razor sharp teeth so hard one snapped.

“What did you have in mind?” Etta rolled over onto her stomach, resting her chin in the palms of her hands. I didn’t really have anything in mind. I racked my brain trying to come up with something but what Etta said threw me for a loop. My brain fixated on the fact that what started out as just another tenant to scare away had morphed into a young girl falling in love with a beast and the beast loving her back.

“What kind of music do you like?” Etta asked, snapping me out of my deep thoughts.

“Not one particular kind. I’ve heard the radio and seen music videos over the years. There’re a few good songs out there, but most of it is just noise to me.”

“Like what?”

“I like that Discovery Channel song.” I smiled.

“Oh my God, the bad touch song? Really? Figures it’d be a dirty one. You’re such a pervert.”

“Stop saying that name around me!”

“Oops. Sorry, didn’t know it bothered you.” Etta rolled her eyes at my reaction.

“I fight for the other team, my dear, so logic would tell you I am probably not very fond of the big guy.”

I thought for sure my aggressiveness would start another match between us, but Etta just let out a laugh and turned the subject back to music. “It’s an okay song, I guess, the bad touch song. At least you don’t listen to mariachi music or something.”

“Well, what’s one of your favorites?” I asked.

“I have a lot of favorites, everything from classical to metal. My all-time favorite band though is definitely Gogol Bordello. They’re a blend between folk music and punk rock.”

“Ooh, rock and metal…the Devil’s music.” I laughed while wiggling my fingers toward Etta to imply some evil.

We stayed up for hours talking the night away about everything under the sun, except our pasts. We talked about her upcoming graduation and the goals she had afterward, then the conversation flowed from anorexia and moved onto race cars. I had to shush Etta a few times because she laughed loud enough to wake up her father. I watched as she painted her toenails a glittery purple, and I even allowed her to paint my claws black. I found it a little silly since my claws were already a dusty shade of black, but she ensured me the shimmer of the paint would make them look better. No amount of nail polish could change what I was, but if it made her feel more comfortable with me, I could be okay with it.

I lost myself in our moments together and wished for more. Her radiant smile, bubbly personality, and witty humor could win over even the hardest of hearts. Just talking to Etta like a normal person was a refreshing change from my normal nights of bringing sheer terror to the living. For one night I felt human.

“I love this song!” At seven a.m. her alarm went off to the sound of BTO’s “Taking Care of Business.” Etta jumped out of bed and started lip-synching to her hair brush. She had me laughing so hard with her uncoordinated dance moves and scrunched up facial expressions as she rocked her hairbrush. Caught up in the moment, I got up and started to do my best impression of dancing with her. She proved much better at it than I was. So there we were acting like fools, trying to sing as we giggled when John walked in.

“Hey. Rocking out already, I see.”

“Oh, hey, Dad.” Etta rushed to turn the music down on her clock radio.

“René will be here shortly to get her stuff. After that, I thought we’d go on a short trip. We’ll just be gone a couple of days, so pack light.”

“Sounds great, Dad.”

As John closed the door, Etta and I burst into laughter. Embarrassment was not an emotion I felt, but I could recognize it a mile away. It was absolutely adorable on Etta as her face turned a light shade of pink. My feelings for Etta were getting stronger with every passing second, which further complicated things. All thoughts of getting rid of her once Alastor was out of the picture for good ceased. I wanted Etta more than anything in the world. As wrong as it would be, I would damn her soul to see her smile every day for all eternity.

“Well, I guess I’ll pack. What are you going to do?”

“I’ll sit here and get some rest while you’re gone.” I hadn’t told Etta that Alastor could still be around and that he’d dodged his Tribunal. Once he healed from his wound, I would probably have to fight him. I should have been resting instead of playing sleepover all night, but I wouldn’t trade the time I had with Etta for anything.

“You need a lot of rest, don’t you?”

“Physical contact with you takes a lot out of me.”

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry. I guess I could try to keep my hands off of you, but with those gorgeous green eyes it’ll be hard.”

“It’s okay. Wait. What did you just say?” I gazed at Etta in confusion.

“What?”

“You said my green eyes?”

“Yeah?” Etta appeared just as confused as I was.

“My eyes aren’t green. Etta, what do you see when you look at me?”

“I see a tall, dark, handsome man with beautiful blond hair and green eyes.” Etta wrapped her arms around my mid-section and gave me a tight squeeze.

Something wasn’t right. Demons had an ability called illusion. We could make a person see whatever we wanted them to. The problem was I hadn’t used illusion on Etta. Something else did. Alastor! He played me from day one, and now I’d been blinded by a girl who I’d thought saw past my monstrous appearance. Etta fell in love with the image of someone else and not me. How could I be so stupid? Pushing Etta away, I stormed off to the closet door.

“Ra? What’s wrong?” Etta called out.

“Nothing. Pack your things before your father gets upset.”

“Tell me what’s wrong?” Etta pleaded. My anger boiled up. I was made a fool for a game I wanted no part in. Alastor probably sat somewhere in the house laughing at me and my foolish idea of Etta possibly loving me for what I am. Flashing to Etta, I towered over. She cowered until she bent at the knees.

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s wrong! You’re what’s wrong, Etta. I can’t believe for one second I believed you cared about me, that you saw past what I am. All you see is something that isn’t real. You pretended to love me for how you thought I looked, not for me.” Etta balled up on the floor as she did when René attacked her. Angry at myself, I let out a roar, shaking the room around us. Seeing her in a ball on the floor was heart-wrenching. Only a few breaths ago, I would have done anything to call her my own, to protect her, and now I hurt her again. Before she could turn to me with those hypnotic eyes, I flashed to the attic. No amount of drywall and insulation could block out the sounds of Etta’s sobbing below.

“Good to go?” John’s voice rang out. He must have been outside packing the car when I unleashed my roar.

“I’ll be right down.” Etta tried to sound like her normal self, but I could tell she was still crying by the strain in her voice.

The tingle returned to my stomach so strongly that I could only describe it as painful. I hadn’t meant to hurt Etta. I simply got so angry that I released all my anxiety, frustrations, and doubts on her. She had been played as a pawn in a game she couldn’t truly grasp. Now, if there was ever a chance she could see past the real me, it vanished. Although I was upset at myself, I was happy to hear Etta would be leaving. I needed to get my head on straight and find Alastor. He would pay severely for making me his clown and using Etta to do it.

“Ra?” Etta’s head poked through the opening.

“Go away.”

“No.” Etta pulled herself into the attic. “Look, I don’t know what I said that was so bad, but I’m sorry.”

“You don’t get it. It’s not what you said. It’s what you see when you look at me. It’s not the real me. So just go before we do any more damage.” I let out a grunt as the tingling intensified twofold.

“What I see doesn’t matter, Ra. It’s what I feel and I’ve already told you how I feel.”

“You say that now, but Alastor is alive and here. He used illusion on you to make you believe that I look different than I do. What happens when you get a glimpse of the real me, when the illusion wears off? What then, Etta? You’re going to still love a black-scaled serpent? I don’t believe so. You humans are so superficial.”

“But, he’s not here now, Ra.”

“Alastor is very much alive and around, Etta. He’s probably laughing at us both right now as we speak.”

“I know how you look, Ra.” Etta grabbed my hands and held them tightly as her gaze fixed on mine. “I saw the other you when you attacked René for hurting me. I saw it when you were talking to Alastor and Gabriel. I saw it when you just yelled at me. I know you don’t have the best teeth and look a lot like a mutant dragon with some funky horns. I know your eyes are blood red and your hands resemble dinosaur claws more than human hands, but when we talk, when we just sit and talk, I see the real you. The one you hide inside of you. The beast you are now is not who you are. So, you don’t need to hide it from me anymore. It won’t change how I feel about you.”

Leaning my forehead on hers, I listened to her heart. “Don’t lie to me, Etta.” I whispered. Her heart raced, but not the way it would if she were lying. Something else made her heart beat rapidly out of control. Could it be her love for me or did she fear me now?

“I’m not lying to you, Ra. I know it’s silly, but I think I’m in love with you.”

Those words shouldn’t have affected me, but they did. I couldn’t contain my feelings anymore. I pulled Etta into me, kissing her with everything I had. “I love you, too,” I growled.

“Shut up and just kiss me.” The passion that burned between us blazed hotter than any Hell I had known.

“Etta! Let’s go!” John called out.

“I’ll be back in a couple of days,” Etta said through each smack of our lips. I didn’t want to let her go, but I had to. As she walked to the opening of the closest, I flashed over to Etta, kissing her again.

“I’ll take care of Alastor. You’ll never have to worry about him again. I swear this to you, Etta.”

“I know you will. See you in a few days.” Etta winked at me before walking out of the closet.

The next two days weren’t peaceful. If Alastor had used illusion on Etta, he would have been within a fifty-yard radius of her in order for it to work properly. So, I knew he had been close. I managed to get some rest in between my searches for him. I was almost back to a hundred percent and had forgotten how good it felt to have energy.

Finding no sign of Alastor, I worried he may have followed John and Etta on their trip. If he only needed to heal his earthly form, he would have to stay close to John for his energy. With any luck, his wound would be so deep enough that he would have to return to Hell to fully recover.

Waiting for Etta to come home seemed like watching ice melt. Bored again, not even my rat friends entertained me. I struggled back and forth over whether I should follow her and make a surprise visit. The biggest problem wasn’t remembering how to follow a person, but not knowing where I would find myself. I’d be running blind. The last time I followed anyone was in the eighteenth century, and after that trip, I decided never to do it again. The damn boy brought me to a church—little bastard almost killed me. Demons cannot enter any holy ground such as a place of worship or cemetery. It doesn’t matter the religion of the church, it’s the fact that it is a sacred, holy place. I can’t even enter a building where the followers worship Lucifer.

But my thoughts couldn’t stay off Etta. I wanted to see her again, to make sure she was safe and that Alastor hadn’t followed her. Taking a deep breath, I said the magic words that would take me to Etta. The blackness swirled around me as my body broke off into specks of red in the darkness. Concentrating on Etta, I hoped that I would reach her. The moments of nothing seemed only a few short breaths until finally a bright light came into view.

A high-pitched beeping noise faintly echoed in the room as more of my being materialized. When I looked around the bright room, my first thought was that Etta must have been admitted into a hospital. Machines filled every inch of the shelves and computers seemed to be stacked on top of each other. I took a step toward a large glass window that divided the room from another to see if Etta would be there, but my step seemed to set off every buzzer, beeper, meter, camera and monitor in the room. A large red domed light flashed above the door.

Just as I was about to silence the room, the door flung open and in rushed a man in a lab coat, John and Etta following behind him. The man began to frantically punch away at keys on one of the many computers. Shortly after, another man in a lab coat ran in and stared at a piece of paper shooting out of a machine. All I saw on it were a bunch of squiggly lines, but he seemed to be able to read it. I thought I knew every language on earth, but this one had me baffled.