The Date Auction (17 page)

“Then he'd definitely look like a California boy.” Unlike the characters in
The Date Auction
, we actually live in California. I used to live in New York City—in Brooklyn, to be precise. But it was too expensive, so I only stayed there for six months.

“It's funny you should say that, because I actually wanted to take surfing lessons,” Lilly continues. “I always wanted to learn how to surf. Wouldn't that be super cool? If I'm lucky, I might get Will Will to take the lessons with me. That's another reason why he should dye his hair, don't you think? Then he'd look like a bone fed surfer dude.”

I think she means “bona fide,” but no one is brave enough to correct her. “Surfer Will. I could see that, actually.”

William finally speaks up. Sometimes it's hard to get a word in when Lilly rambles. “It's good to see you, Cora.” His eyes are almost apologetic; it's as if he wants to apologize for his girlfriend's long-winded babble.

“It's good to see you too, Will.”

“Are you feeling alright, Cora Bora?” Lilly speaks up again. “The last time we were here, you were feeling really sick and it broke my heart. You know what? It's too hot in here. We've only been here for a few minutes and I'm already sweating in places I didn't know I could sweat. For example, I think the backs of my knees are sweating right now. Did you know you could sweat on the backs of your knees? Can't they turn up the air conditioner or something?”

“It doesn't feel too bad to me. Actually, I get cold, so--”

“You think it's
cold
in here? Geez.” Lilly attempts to fan herself with her over-manicured fingers. “I'm a skinny girl, so you wouldn't think I'd sweat this much. But I do. I think it's a glandular problem or something. My dad sweats a lot too.”

“Well, Cora...” William attempts to speak up, “I don't think we're going to stay long, but I really wanted to say hello.” He probably wants to spare me from the prolonged presence of his obnoxious girlfriend.

“Whaaat?!” Lilly shrieks. “William, we just got here, and you're already talking about leaving? Don't be a douche! You should visit your sister!”

“It's okay, Lilly. If you guys can't stay long, I understand.” I hold my breath and hope she'll take the hint.

“It's not like we have anything else planned, Will! We can stay as long as we want!” Lilly crashes on my bed, which forces Jamie to relocate to another corner of the room. “Oh! There was something I wanted to tell you, Cora! Guess who I saw today? Drumroll! Dah dah dah dah dah!
Brad Pitt!
And oh my god, he was looking SO old. They must give him a lot of makeup when he's in the movies, because he didn't look like himself. And he didn't have Angelina and seven kids hanging on his body.”

“If he didn't look like himself, maybe it wasn't Brad Pitt?” I suggest with a shrug.

“No, it was definitely him. Trust me, I know Brad Pitt when I see him.”

I cast a desperate glance in the direction of my brothers, but they look as hopeless as I do.

“Have you ever met any celebrities before? I have. Last month, I ran into Alex Pettyfer at a grocery store. Do you know who Alex Pettyfer is? He's not really super mega famous, so you might not know who I'm talking about, but he's pretty cute. He reminds me of a British Brad Pitt from way back when Brad Pitt was hot and young and actually looked like himself, but Alex Pettyfer doesn't look as streamlined. For example, I don't like his nose, and his ears don't look right on his head.”

I stopped listening to her three sentences ago.

Oh, it's going to be a long day...

II

And now for the moment of truth! Jamie's here, he's read
The Date Auction
, and he's about to give me his opinion. I can always count on his honest opinion where my books are concerned. One thing I love about Jamie is that he never spares my feelings when it comes to my work. (
That, and he's pretty good at finding typos
).

“So... tell me truthfully,” I begin. “You didn't like it, did you?”

“It was alright.”

“
Alright
?” I repeat the word with a sneer. “You don't have to be so gentle. It was bad, wasn't it?”

“No, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't your best.”

Jamie seems to be paying more attention to the piece of paper in his hands, so I have to ask, “What's that?”

“I took notes as I read it. There were a few things I wanted to discuss.”

I lean forward in the bed, trying to get a better look at the chicken scrawl on his paper. “A
few
notes? It looks like you wrote your own novel!”

“Well, there were a lot of things that were interesting. For example...” When he looks up at me, Jamie's left eyebrow is skeptically raised. “You made me a male model?!”

“Only the best for you, Jamie.”

“And you made Alaina sound like a Megan Fox look-alike. I'm assuming Alaina is Lilly?”

“Uh, yeah. Wasn't it obvious?”

“Pretty obvious. She was almost as annoying as the real thing.” Jamie's finger moves along the page as he reviews his notes. “I thought the date auction itself was an interesting concept.”

“Yeah,” I agree. “An interesting concept, poorly executed.”

“It's not as bad as you think it is,” Jamie disagrees. “However, I don't think Jackie would have paid a dime for a date with me.”

“I'm sure that's not true. When I see you guys together, she seems crazy for you.” I touch my head, making sure my skullcap hasn't slipped. I
would
wear a wig, but the wig always feels a bit itchy. Besides, it's only Jamie, not Harry Shaw. It's not like I have to impress him.

“Would you really pay ten thousand dollars for a date with this Harry guy?”

“Uh, no.” My answer is accompanied by a dry chuckle. “I don't even have ten thousand dollars.”

“Did Will and Lilly really have sex on their first date?”

“According to Lilly they did. You didn't know about that?”

“No.” His expression is unreadable, but I would guess it's a combination of envy and disgust. “You were right about one thing. I had to work hard to get with Jackie.”

“Eva.”

“Yeah, Eva.” Jamie smiles at me, which makes his dimples appear. I don't think I mentioned his dimples in my book, but if I have the urge to write another chapter, the dimples will have to make their debut. “You glossed over the sex scene with William and Lilly really quickly, by the way.”

“Well... they didn't want to waste any time,” I attempt to explain myself. “Not to mention, it was kind of weird to write about my brother having sex with his girlfriend.”

“I can imagine it would be. It's not something I care to think about. However....” Jamie's brow
furrows as he studies his notes. “You didn't seem to mind going into detail when it came to
my
sex scene.”

“I was getting braver. Not only that, I felt like I needed to give the readers
something
at that
point.”

Jamie purses his lips for a few seconds; I can tell he's hesitating. When the silence ends, he asks, “You're not really a virgin, are you?”

“Uh... do you really think I'm going to answer that question?” I tug my blanket up to my chin—the blanket that smells distinctly of hospital. Everything in this room smells like antiseptic and old people, but I think I'm getting immune to it. I have, after all, been here for quite awhile. “You shouldn't assume the Cora in the book is exactly the same as me. She's a character, after all. She's not an embodiment of me.”

“So you're not a virgin?”

“Uhhh, Jamie? I already told you I'm not going to answer that.” A nurse pokes her head in the room, but she must have come to the wrong place, because she exits without a word.

“I thought you made Harry an asshole,” Jamie says. “That scene where he ignored you when his ex-girlfriend showed up... that was a real dick move.”

“I'd like to think the real Harry wouldn't do that. He seemed nice when I met him a few years ago.”

“So why did you decide to make him a douchebag?”

“He wasn't
that
bad, was he?” I ask with a frown. “There needed to be some drama. I thought he could redeem himself somewhere down the line.”

“William and Jamie already had sex with their dates, but Harry doesn't seem interested in Cora in the least.”

“I know. I'm having a hard time developing their relationship,” I confess. “Maybe I have a hard time believing Harry would actually be interested in me.”

“Aha!” Jamie thrusts an accusatory finger in my direction. “So the Cora in your book
is
the embodiment of you!”

“No. I never said that! When did I ever say that?!” Oh god. Maybe I shouldn't have let Jamie
read this book after all? Now he's going to think I'm a virgin for sure. (Which I am, but he doesn't need
to know that!)

“Didn't you make this Harry guy more famous than he is? I've never heard of him before.”

“Yeah. He's not on the A-list. In fact, he mostly does television in the UK. I thought it would be nice if I made him more famous. And it would be my dream come true if he was in a remake of Gone with the Wind, but I don't think anyone would be ballsy enough to remake such a classic.”

“You really like this Harry guy, don't you?”

“Harry Shaw.” I say his whole name, because I'm tired of hearing him referred to as
that Harry guy
. It makes Harry sound like someone bestial and hirsute. “I was going to change his name if I ever decided to publish the book. Maybe I'd call him Henry... or should I change his last name? Harry Lawson, perhaps?”

“It's entirely up to you.”

I take a deep breath and expel a gigantic sigh. It seems pointless to think about changing my character's name. For one, I doubt I'll be inspired to write it again. More importantly, I doubt I'll be able to finish it before I die.

“If you really like him that much, why don't you try writing to him?”

“You mean, send him some fan mail?” My nose wrinkles at the idea. “I don't know. I doubt he'd even bother to read it.”

“I bet you're wrong. If he isn't that famous... which he isn't... why don't you think he'd read your letter? He might be flattered.”

“And he might take pity on the girl with cancer?”

“Well... you don't even have to mention that if you don't want to.” Jamie folds up his paper and stuffs in it the pocket of his jeans. “Just write to him and tell him you like him, and maybe he'll write back with a signed photograph or something.”

“Yeah. And then I'll just be another deluded fangirl, holding my breath as I wait for his reply.”

I'm sure I sound negative, but I have to admit: writing to Harry Shaw doesn't sound like a bad idea.

III

Dear Harry,

My name's Cora Crosby, and I've been following your career for the last six or seven years. I've watched everything from Tale of Two Cities to Sense and Sensibility, and I even went to see you a few years ago when you were in Henry IV. I doubt you'd remember me, but I asked you to sign my program. I told you I was in the front row, and that you spit on me.

I honestly think you're one of the most amazing actors alive. You've played everything from the hero to the villain, the psycho to the saint, and you do it so well. Your versatility never fails to blow me away. This might sound crazy, but you've been my muse for the last few years. As a writer, I find that I repeatedly breathe life into characters who remind me of you. In my most recent attempt at writing a novel, I even named one of my characters after you.

The Harry Shaw in my novel is on the verge of super-stardom. Which made me wonder... do you want to be famous, or do you prefer being a character actor? I'm happy either way, as long as I get to watch you on screen or stage. Get this... in my book, you were going to star in a remake of Gone With the Wind. My mom insists they should never remake the movie (she hates it when they remake the classics), but I happen to think it's a wonderful idea, especially if you were in the lead role. Clark Gable might have been a sex symbol in his day, but I don't think he'd pass muster in this day and age. Then again, he kind of has a George Clooney look, so maybe I'm wrong. George Clooney isn't really
my thing, but I can understand why some people like him.

No matter what anyone says, I still think you would be the best Rhett Butler, and I've probably spent way too much time fantasizing about that. If I couldn't have you in Gone with the Wind, I'd want to see you as a swashbuckler in a pirate film. You make me think of old Hollywood, somewhere between Errol Flynn and Cary Grant.

It's been awhile since I've heard any news about your career. Imdb says you've got a movie coming up, but I think you finished filming that awhile ago. What are you going to work on next? Are you planning on making more movies by any chance? That might be the way to go, since there seems to be a British invasion in American films at the moment. How's your American accent? I've always wished you would star in an American television series, then I could see you every week. If you're thinking about doing more theatre, that would be great too. I think you're a really wonderful stage actor, but I've always thought stage acting would be more physically demanding than anything. What draws you to a project, if you don't mind me asking? I wrote a screenplay that I'd love for you to star in, but I'm sure that would never happen.

The other day, my brother made a derogatory remark about the name Harry. He said it was an old-fashioned name, and that no one is named Harry anymore. I happen to disagree with him. Why does everyone focus on Prince William and forget about poor Prince Harry? And let's not forget about the most famous Harry of all... Harry Potter! (You would have been a wonderful Tom Riddle, by the way).

Now that I've established myself as a Harry Potter nerd, let's just move on, shall we? There were a few questions I wanted to ask you, if you don't mind...