The Date Auction (16 page)

When they finished a chapter, and their progress auto-saved, Cora turned to Harry and asked, “Well... did you want to quit or did you want to keep going?”

They had already played through three chapters, during which he had completely lost track of time. How much time had passed? Two hours? Three? “I think I'm good... but we're going to have to resume this another time. I need to brush up on my skills. The next time you see Dom, he's going to be a whole new man.”

“He's going to be a dead man.”

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Pardon?”

“Uh... nothing.” If he didn't know the fate of his character, she wasn't going to spoil it for him. “So, what do you want to do now? Do you want a snack or something?”

“That would be great.”

“Well... what do you want? I could make some popcorn or something.” When she saw Harry nod, she rose from the couch and headed for the kitchen. “I'll be right back.”

When she was out of the room, Harry immediately pulled his phone from his pocket and checked his messages. He felt it vibrating some time ago, but he didn't want to check it for fear that he would hurt Cora's feelings. As he suspected, it was a text message from Astrid, the gorgeous Swedish model with whom he had recently been on a date.

To Harry:
Do you want to get together later? Are u busy?

With a shrug, he turned off his phone and returned it to the pocket of his jeans. Astrid was beautiful, but he had already made plans with Cora, and Cora was probably more fun anyway.

When Cora returned from the kitchen, Harry was on his knees, crawling across the floor. The strange sight almost made her drop her bowl of popcorn. “Uh... Harry? What are you doing?”

“I just noticed something.” He crawled to a glass case under Cora's television, where her immense collection of dvds was on display. He slid open the glass door and extracted her copy of
Sense and Sensibility
. “Look. It's the most recent version of Sense and Sensibility.”

“Yeah.” She tossed a piece of popcorn into her mouth. “What are you trying to say?”

“Isn't this the version that stars a particular young actor as Willoughby?” Harry asked with a grin. “A tall English actor with impossibly black hair, and the most alluring emerald eyes you've ever laid eyes on?”

“It sounds like you're pretty smitten with him,” she teased him.

“And look. True Endings. A Tale of Two Cities. The Iron Hunter. It looks like someone might be a Harry Shaw fan.”

“So? I don't think you're discovering anything you didn't already know.” She chucked a piece of popcorn in his direction, but it fell short of its target. It landed at his feet, bounced on the floor, and rolled under the table. “I paid a lot of money for a date with you, remember?”

“I do remember. Indeed I do. Nevertheless, I'm surprised you managed to track down a copy of Tale of Two Cities. It was so long ago, I'd nearly forgotten I was in that.”

Cora sank into her couch and started munching on her popcorn. “It's the best adaptation I've ever seen. We should watch it together sometime.”

“I might have to pass on that. If at all possible, I would rather avoid watching myself on the telly,” he said. “I think I look ridiculous.”

“Really?” When he sat beside her on the couch, she offered him the bowl of popcorn. Harry snatched an entire handful and proceeded to shovel it into his mouth. “Why would you think that? You're a really good actor. The camera loves you.”

“I think I love the camera more than the camera loves me. First of all... my facial expressions. Don't you think I make some peculiar faces?”

“Not at all.”

“And I have a tendency to flare my nostrils during really intense scenes.”

“I've never noticed that before.”

“It's true. I look like a dragon on the verge of heaving smoke through my nose.”

“Then you're a really cute dragon.”

“Cora...” When he saw her reach for more popcorn, he took the bowl from her lap and laid it on a nearby table. “Cora, I've been thinking...”

“Hmm?”

“I've been thinking...” he repeated. “I really like you.”

No, that doesn't sound natural. I should delete that.

“I've been thinking,” he repeated. “I really enjoy spending time with you, and for the last several minutes, I've been wondering what it would be like to kiss you.”

Really? That line seemed to come out of the blue. I don't think I could ever write this scene and make it sound like something that would actually happen. He would never want to kiss Cora.

“You want to kiss me?!” Cora gasped. “But I'm not pretty enough for you.”

That's true, but that's a stupid sentence.

“You're pretty enough to me.”

Ugh. That doesn't sound like something he'd say.

Sometimes I hate this book. It's pretty bad when you're the writer and you can't stand what's flowing from your fingers. Ever since I started writing it, The Date Auction has been nothing but disappointment.

I

I can't stand to look at
The Date Auction
document anymore, so I close my laptop and set it aside. As I glance around at the familiar white walls of the hospital room, I'm filled with an overwhelming sense of grief. This book was supposed to be my swan song, my last great book. To be fair, I never expected it to be a challenging piece of literature. It was just supposed to be a bit of fun, a light romantic escape. So far, it's been one disappointing chapter after another.

When I think about how the story's progressed, I want to laugh and cringe at the same time. William and Lilly (
I'm sorry, did I say Lilly? I meant Alaina
) have already reached the end of the road. Where can I take their story from here? Jamie and Eva, now that they've consummated their unexpected relationship, are already close to arriving at their happy ending. What about Cora? It just seems so unlikely that Harry Shaw would be interested in her that I can't move the relationship forward. At the moment, Cora seems like an annoying friend that he can't shake off. When he asked her for a kiss in that last chapter, I wanted to roll my eyes. It's pretty bad when the author can't even suspend her beliefs long enough to buy into what she's writing.
Ugh.

Oh well. I needed to stop writing because I'm expecting my brothers for a visit. They usually visit me on Tuesdays and Thursdays, even though I keep telling them it's not necessary to visit so often. I feel bad that they have to take time out of their busy schedules for me. Let's face it, visiting a hospital is never fun. But I don't think I'll be here much longer. The doctors have already established that there's little else they can do for me, so I'll be going home soon. In other words, I'm going home so I can wait out my death in peace.

When I hear a knock on the door, I know it's Jamie. He's the only one in my family who has the decency to knock before entering the room. “Come in,” I call to him. Sure enough, my older brother is standing on the other side of the door. He isn't exactly the epitome of Apollonian perfection that I described in my book, but I always thought he was the cute one in the family. Maybe it's creepy to think that kind of thing, and probably creepier to think he reminds me of my dad. It probably sounds Oedipal on my part, but me and my dad were always close. When he died a few years ago, I was gutted. If I die too (which is pretty much guaranteed at this point), maybe I'll be reunited with him in the afterlife?

More than likely, my brain and body will shut down and that'll be it. Blackness forever. No more bundle of thoughts, no more delusions that I have a soul. No more Cora Crosby.

“Hey, Cora,” he greets me.

“Hey, Jamie.”

“How are you feeling today?”

“Like shit.” I give him an honest answer because I know he would want nothing less. The chemotherapy is still making me sick. To make matters worse, it didn't even help that much. “I probably look like shit too.”

“Naw,” he lies to me. “You look great.”

Unfortunately, Jamie isn't going to reciprocate the honesty. From where I'm sitting, I can see myself in a mirror. Bald head, sallow skin, red-rimmed eyes beset with jaundice. I look like hell, and I feel even worse. “You're such a liar.”

“I'm not lying. You're always a sight for sore eyes.”

I lay down in bed with a tremendous sigh. “You're such a lying goofball. Anyway... how's Jackie?”

“She's great. She really wanted to see you again. She said something about watching a movie with you when you get home.”

“That would be nice.” I hope she means a movie on dvd and not a movie in the theatre. Alas, movie theatres are a thing of the past. The chemo's wreaked such havoc on my immune system, I'd probably leave the theatre with twenty colds and six influenzas. “Does she still have issues with the age difference?”

“Yeah.” Jamie looks down at the floor as he gives me his answer. “Sometimes.”

“Well, that's silly. Life's too short to worry about that kind of thing. Believe me, I know. Ten years ago, I never thought I'd die at the tender age of twenty eight.”

“Cora...” Jamie sits at the end of my bed and squeezes one of my feet. “You're not going to die.”

I know he's just trying to be encouraging, but it's really not nice of him to fill my head with false hope. “Yeah, Jamie. I am.”

“You don't know that for sure. Do you remember Uncle Luke?” He's referring to our uncle, who died six years ago. Apparently, cancer runs in the family. “When he was diagnosed with cancer in July, the doctors didn't think he would live to see Christmas. But then
two
Christmases later, he was still giving us some gifts. The same thing could happen to you.”

“Maybe, but it's unlikely. Either way, I'm still going to die.”

“We're all going to die.”

“True. It's just that my death is going to happen sooner than later.” Jamie probably thinks I want to stay alive as long as I can, but that's really not true. My quality of life is shit right now. My days are filled with nausea, gnawing pain and burning joints. If this is what my life's going to be like, I'd rather be put out of my misery.

I can see Jamie's eyes filling with tears, so I decide to change the subject. If I'm so gloomy all the time, he's not going to want to visit me anymore. If he stopped visiting, I could hardly blame him. “So...” I force myself to smile. “I've been writing another book.”

“Oh yeah? That's great.”

“It's a romance. It's kind of a romantic comedy, but it's not that funny.” My nostrils flare as I attempt to describe the thorn in my side that is
The Date Auction
. “Actually, it's not that good at all.”

“I'm sure it's great. You're always too critical of your work.”

“Trust me, I'm not being too critical. It really is a pile of crap. I'd feel bad for anyone who had to read it,” I admit. “Do
you
want to read it?”

“Sure. I always enjoy reading your stuff.”

Oh, Jamie. Bless his heart. He's the only brother who cares about me enough to read everything I've written, even when I write romance. I know it's not his thing. “It's loosely based on your life.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You're a character in the book. So is Will. So am I... kind of.”

“I hope you didn't make me a jerk.”

“No, you're not a jerk. And... well, it's not a biography or anything like that, so I don't want you to think the Jamie in my book is exactly the same as Jamie in real life. For one, he's kind of vain.” Unless I'm mistaken, I don't think my brother would rip off his shirt in front of a horde of fawning women. “But the Jamie in my book
is
dating a woman who's twenty years older than him.”

“And does Jackie have issues with our age difference?”

“Jackie was renamed. Her name's Eva, and yes... she has some issues with it.” I hand Jamie a USB that contains the most recent copy of
The Date Auction
. “Before you get involved in the book, I have to warn you... I might not finish it.”

“Really? You're abandoning it?”

“Well... no, not exactly. I haven't decided. If I feel inspired, I might continue it later on.” When I think about opening my laptop and continuing where I left off, my stomach clenches. “I don't like quitting what I've started. I feel like a failure.”

“You said something about Will being in the book too?”

“Yeah. And he's dating a girl who's a lot like Lilly. She's--”

Speak of the devil. As soon as I mention Lilly's name, she pops her head into the hospital room and squeals. “Ahh! Cora! Hiya!”

“Hey, Lilly.”

As she skips into the room, Lilly drags William with her. “Hey, Cora.” My younger brother's voice is dry as he greets me. Sometimes, I wonder if Lilly Sanchez has sucked out his soul.

“Omigosh, Cor, I was at the mall the other day, and I bought you a really cute shirt. It's exactly the kind of style you'd like, you know, like a graphic tee with very little graphic on it. Will Will said you liked comfy clothes and that you sometimes get your clothes from the men's department. This is from the men's department, but it so doesn't look like it came from the men's department because it has a pink unicorn on it. Like... seriously, what kind of self-respecting guy would go around with a unicorn on his shirt?”

“Is it a discreet unicorn?” I ask with a chuckle.

“Huh?” Lilly must not understand the word
discreet
, because she just shrugs and continues. “You'll just have to see it. A unicorn shirt might not sound that appealing, but trust me, it's really cute. The shirt itself is baby blue, which is my favorite color... you know, because baby blue reminds me of Will Will's eyes. Doesn't he have pretty eyes?”

When I make eye contact with William, he looks sheepish. My poor brother. If Lilly wasn't so gorgeous (
and really, she's
by far
the hottest girl he's ever dated
) I don't think he would put up with her. “Yep,” I give her an answer that is sure to make my brother squirm. “I don't think his eyes could possibly be prettier.” Jamie chuckles, but William looks like he wants to wring my neck.

“I know, right?!” Lilly starts twirling a lock of her dark hair around her finger, which is something she does all the time. Did I write that into the book? If I didn't, I'll have to go back and add a scene where she's fussing with her hair. And William's hair. If her fingers aren't toiling in her own hair, she's usually petting “Will Will” like a kitten. “That's what I liked about him the most. His eyes. I keep telling him he should dye his hair. It's like a dirty dishwater color right now, but if he lightened it a little bit, you know, to like a beach blonde, I think that would be really sexy.”