The Christmas Tree Guy (34 page)

“Well, it sounds to me like you’re making responsible judgments, Sydnee. Of course, it sounds like the young man is improving on his financial status, but you are making the right choice to work on getting Matt back in your children’s lives. He has a stable career, a set future and he is their father,” Mina chirped with her know-it-all attitude.

“You know what, Mina…shut up.” Sara eyed Mina with the most hateful eyes Sydnee had ever seen. “Syd?”

“Sara, I just didn’t want Quinn to wake up years from now and resent me or the boys. I couldn’t stand the thought of him giving up his dreams for us.” Sydnee had lost so much sleep over this whole situation. Quinn deserved the chance to fulfill his dreams of being a trainer on the professional level. It was what he’d worked for and she wanted it for him.

“Like Matt did?”

“Oh, Sara, really,” Mina interjected.

“No, Mina, Sydnee knows I’m right. You didn’t want to take the chance of falling in love with Quinn because you think he’ll do the same thing to you Matt did.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sara,” Sydnee muttered, staring down at her hands in her lap. She knew everything Sara said was the truth; she just didn’t want to face it.

“Yes, you do.” Sara’s voice softened and she sat back in her seat. “You and Matt planned on traveling the world, just the two of you. When you got pregnant, he still wanted to travel and it ruined
his
dream, but you were happy with having the twins. What about your dreams? Honey, Quinn is not Matt.”

“Sara, Quinn has goals and he’s not going to be able to realize those here with me and the boys. He has an opportunity he shouldn’t pass up.” Sydnee closed her eyes and wished they could talk about anything else. She missed Quinn more than either of them could possibly know. She wished she could stop thinking about him. His gloriously strong arms, his beautiful eyes and the way one glance from him could make the entire world around her cease to exist.

“Sydnee, I don’t know him as well as you do, but what I do know about him is, I really don’t believe Quinn could hurt you like that.”

“Yeah, and I didn’t think Matt could either, but he did.” It was all Sydnee could do to stay seated. She wanted to get up, walk out, get in her car and just drive away from everything. To escape from one friend telling her she was making the right decision to break it off with Quinn, to another telling her she was making the wrong one. From the nagging words in her head from her mother and knowing she would say ‘I told you so’ or that she’d finally come to her senses, to Matt and his selfish and self-absorbed attitude. It was more than she could handle. Things were so simple when it was just her and the boys.

“Don’t you care about Quinn?”

Sydnee’s head jerked to the side and she stared at Sara. “Of course I do. You know I do. How could you ask me that?” She could feel herself growing closer and closer to tears and she looked away. Of course she cared about Quinn. It was the reason she felt as horrible as she did. She’d fought it as hard as she could, but she had fallen in love with him.

“Then don’t do this. Give him and your relationship a chance.”

“Sara, I care about Quinn and his well-being, and I care enough to let him go.”

“Well, I think Sydnee is making a wise choice. It’s not like you can just pick up and move with the man. Really? That wouldn’t make sense at all. No, Sara, Sydnee’s making the right choice. Whether she and Matt get back together or not,” Mina paused, obviously knowing it was a sore spot for Sydnee, and also knowing she was still treading on thin ice with her. She chose her next words carefully. “She has to do what’s right for her children.”

“Syd, come on,” Sara pleaded with her friend, ignoring her cousin’s remarks. “I hate to see you give up on the one guy that’s been so good to you.”

“Sara, please. I don’t want to talk about this anymore, okay? Look, I have to go. I’ve got a lot of work to get done before I leave the office today.” Standing to grab her purse, Sydnee stopped when Sara grabbed her arm.

“Sydnee, just think about it okay? Don’t fall into the same rut you did when Matt left. Please just consider what you’re giving up.” Shaking loose of Sara’s grip, Sydnee walked out of the restaurant and to her car. Little did Sara know, Sydnee had thought of what she was giving up and it was too hard to keep thinking of it.

###

“Quinn,” Janae gushed, watching her son walk through the front door. “Hey, baby.”

“Hey, Mom.” Quinn wrapped his arms around her once she shut the door behind him.

“You didn’t tell me you were coming over,” she grinned, sliding her arm around his waist as they walked into the kitchen.

“Well, I kind of have a decision to make,” he said, sitting down in one of the barstools at the counter. He thought about all of the big decisions he’d made in his life and how his mom had been there for almost all of them.

“Gotcha. I’ll get the glasses. You pick the drug of choice.” She walked across the kitchen to grab two glasses. Quinn drifted over to the pantry and searched the shelves before pulling out a ceramic container shaped like a pig in a chef’s outfit. He took the container and went back to the counter and sat it down, while his mom pulled the milk out of the refrigerator. She poured both of them a glass and once Quinn pulled the chef’s hat off of the container; they took turns pulling a cookie out of the pig as it oinked.

“I guess things aren’t as simple as they used to be when I was little,” Quinn remarked, smiling at the pig as his eyes and the sign he held stating ‘Let’s pig out’ lit up for a couple of seconds before both the sound effects and lights subsided.

“No, they aren’t, but cookies and milk always help.” Janae winked and dipped her cookie in the glass of milk in front of her. “And don’t worry, it’s 2%,” she chirped.

“Thanks,” he murmured.

“I take it the interview went well?” Janae sat watching Quinn. She loved the ritualistic way he took the cookie apart just as he had from the time they started these little chats. Quinn was always able to talk to his mom about anything and it became their time to ‘chat.’ When he was a child, they sat at the table. Now that he was an adult, they sat on the barstools at the counter. His problems then seemed so much easier than the ones he was dealing with now. He’d agonized over his decision to even interview for the position. After Sydnee asked him to leave, he had been unable to focus on anything. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. He didn’t want to do anything. He wanted her back. His mother had finally convinced him to at least do the interview. If he didn’t get the job, then he would know where he stood and he could focus on possibly getting Sydnee back.

“Extremely. They’re still interviewing others but, I feel really good about my chances.” He should be happy, but in all actuality, he wasn’t. Quinn knew this job would change his life forever, but the only thing he could focus on was Sydnee and how much he missed her.

“Congratulations, honey, I’m so proud of you.” Janae reached over to squeeze his forearm, but seeing his grim countenance, she sat back. “You don’t look happy about it, though.”

“It’s a once-in-a-lifetime offer, Mom.” He sat, staring at the counter repeatedly twisting the cookie apart and putting it back together.

“Yes it is.”

“In so many ways I feel like it’s my time to go, you know? That this is my chance to realize every dream I’ve ever had. Prove that I can do it.” He sat back with a heavy heart.

“But?”

“But, I can’t get her out of my head.” He looked up at Janae with the saddest eyes. The light that usually bounced around in his silvery spheres had diminished and left them lifeless and dull. “She’s all I have thought about since I left for the interview. She’s all I thought about there and she’s all I keep thinking about.”

“Honey, I wish I could tell you what to do, but I can’t.” Quinn knew his mom was saying as little as possible so he could work the problem out on his own. So many times he knew she wanted to tell him what to do because it was the protective side of her that would come out and want to keep him from being hurt, but he knew she was always going to let him make his own decisions and his own mistakes in order for him to learn. “I want you to realize your dreams.”

“I know Mom. I do too. I guess I just want too much.” He put the uneaten halves back together and placed the cookie on the counter. Propping his elbows on the counter, he lowered his head into his hands, running his fingers through his wavy spikes. Why did life have to be so complicated?

“Oh, honey, I know this isn’t easy.” She said, rubbing his back. “You haven’t talked to Sydnee at all, have you?” She watched him shake his head silently. “So she doesn’t know you went to the interview?”

“No. Not unless somebody told her that too,” Quinn sighed.

“Sweetheart, I’m going to tell you something I hope you’ll keep with you for the rest of your life. No matter if you’re with Sydnee or some other woman that comes into your life, remember this. Women like to know things first. We hate to be the last to know and most importantly, we never want to be told something by a friend that it seems like everyone else already knows, that should have come from you first.”

“You tell me this now?” Quinn frowned, picking the cookie up and plucking it apart again before he dunked the side with no cream in his glass of milk and popped it in his mouth.

“Hey I’m a single mom, I’m trying to give you these things, but it’s a lot to cover by myself,” she grinned, squeezing his arm.

“I know. I’m just so frustrated Mom. I care about Syd and the boys so much it hurts. I would never do anything to hurt them and I would protect them with everything I have. Why isn’t that enough for her mother? Why does she hate me just because I’m white?” He looked at his mother with eyes muddled with frustration and confusion and she breathed deeply.

“Baby, I don’t know why people don’t give others a chance just because of their race.” She paused. “But something I think you need to think about is the fact you don’t know what Sydnee’s mother’s experiences have been. You don’t know what she has been through that’s caused her to feel the way she does.”

Quinn sat for a moment thinking about what his mother said. It was true. He’d only talked to Sydnee about how her relationship with her mother was, but he’d never gotten a chance to really get to know Carroll at all. She hadn’t been too welcoming or forthcoming with him from the get-go. Sydnee had alluded to her mother’s experiences the night she broke it off with him, but she hadn’t gone into detail. His mother was right; he had no clue what Carroll had been through. He wished he had the opportunity to show her; he only wanted happiness and the best for Sydnee and the boys. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. I just wish it didn’t have to be that way. I wish people would accept people for who they are.”

“I know, honey. I wish it was that way too, but unfortunately some just can’t get past the color of a person’s skin long enough to find out what’s in their heart. It goes both ways.”

“I don’t have a clue what to do right now.” He was so overwhelmed with everything swirling in his head and he just wanted it all to stop.

“Quinn, you’ll make the right choice. Don’t think about it from an outside point of view or what others would think of the decision you make. Do what makes you happy and make the choice you can live with for the rest of your life. I don’t want you to have any regrets, but I don’t want you to pass up a chance of a lifetime if you know years from now, you’ll kick yourself for not going.”

“That’s the thing, Mom. I don’t know, and there’s no way to know it. Life is just this series of choices and you may take one and it leads you down one road to another choice and it just keeps going. And it’s kicking my ass.”

Laughing at his last comment, Janae patted his arm. “Well, you don’t have to make a decision right now. Just think it all over and take your time. Remember, make a decision you can live with.”

He nodded, knowing he had a lot to think about and to figure out. This was a decision that was going to affect the rest of his life and he needed to take his time with making his choice. “I will. Thanks for the talk, Mom.” Leaning over, he hugged her and kissed her on the side of her forehead before smiling. “I better go. I’ve got an early morning and I think I need to go run for a while to clear my head.”

“It was good to see you, and remember the most important thing, I love you.” Janae stood, wrapping her arms around her son.

“Love you too,” hugging her back, he turned and headed out the door.

###

“Hey, sweet peas.” Sydnee watched the twins run into the house. Matt had picked them up from school and was dropping them off. Since Sydnee had a late meeting and Monica had other plans, Matt had offered to pick them up. She was hesitant at first, but Matt convinced her it would be another opportunity for him to spend time with his sons and really show them he was interested in being there for them.

“Mommy, look at what I did,” Travis beamed, as he and Charlie both ran to her with pictures they’d drawn in class.

“I did one too, Mommy,” Charlie added.

“Wow, these look amazing.”

“Yes, they are pretty interesting,” Matt added. The scowl plastered across his face let her know he wasn’t in too great of a mood. “You should ask them what their drawings are of.” She was a little puzzled by what he meant as she took another look at the pictures. The assignment was to draw a picture of their family and Sydnee could see on both of the boys’ pictures they had drawn stick people to represent her, Leanne, Charles and them. She didn’t see anything strange about the pictures except on Charlie’s drawing, Matt did appear, but he was on one side of them, on the far end, and beside Sydnee stood another stick person, holding her hand.