The Christmas Tree Guy (31 page)

“And, I am trying to give that normal life back to you. Sydnee, I need you to forgive me.” He looked at her with solemn eyes, catching her off guard. Any minute, a baby grand piano was going to fall on her head. She just knew it.

“What?”

“I need to know you forgive me. Sydnee, I’m sorry. I know I hurt you and I’m sorry.” She nearly fell over hearing the words ‘I’m sorry’ cross his lips and she moved to steady herself by leaning against the arm of the sofa.

“Matt, I-”

“It’s crazy, but after I left, I had time to think about what I did to you. I know just saying ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t enough to fix what I did, but I need you to know how I feel. I want to make it right.” It was amazing. She could swear she was seeing and hearing things, but it truly looked and sounded like he was sincere. Matt didn’t apologize for anything, and not to anyone. Especially her. In all of the time they were together, she couldn’t remember the words ever crossing his lips. All of the affairs, and even the day he left her, the words were never uttered.

“Uh, Matt, I’m not sure what you want me to say.”

“Look, you don’t have to say anything right now. I just wanted you to know where I was coming from. I want to fix this.”

“Fix what?”

“Fix my relationship with my sons, with my parents…with you.” Sydnee stepped back. She wasn’t sure she had heard him correctly and he had to recognize the enormous amount of shock on her face. Matt wanted to work on them? Now? Why? None of this was making sense and she just needed everything to slow down. Her brain felt like it would overheat with everything swirling around in it.

“Matt, I-uh, this is a little sudden.”

“I will go as slow as you need me to, but, Syd, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I was a fool to let you go. I know that. I understand it better than anyone. Please, just give me a chance to make it up to you.” He moved closer to look in her eyes. She had always had a hard time refusing anything he said when she looked into the deep chocolate orbs he and their sons shared.

“Matt, you can’t come here and just say you’re sorry and think we can be best friends, or even go back to the way we were.” She kept her arms crossed in front of her. She didn’t want to let him in again. And she definitely
didn’t want to revisit the hurt and pain he’d caused her. She was past that and it wasn’t a path she wanted to negotiate again.

“I just want a chance. Please, Syd.” He begged. Gently taking her shoulders into his hands pleading with her, “I’m begging. I’ll get down on my knees if I have to.” He released her shoulders and got down on his knees.

“Okay, stop, okay. Get up.” She shook her head, motioning for him to get up from in front of her.

“So?” He stood in front of her just as eager as Travis had been at the game knowing he was getting popcorn and candy.

“You can work on your relationship with the boys. I won’t stand in the way because you’re their father and they need a healthy relationship with you. You
should
work on your relationship with your parents, because everyone knows you owe it to them.”

“What about us? You and me?” His anxious eyes and eagerness made her think he was really genuine, but…

“Matt, there is no ‘us’. This,” she motioned between the two of them, “didn’t work the first time and I’m not putting myself in that position again. If I’m not mistaken, you are with Cassidy, and where is she by the way?”

“Sydnee, come on. I just want to make sure we can work on our relationship,” he urged, eluding her question concerning the young woman he left his family for.

“Matt, if you haven’t already noticed, I’m in a relationship with someone else and I have moved on. I’m in a good place and I don’t want to do this.”

“Is it serious?”
Good question.

“That’s in the realm of my business and something you really don’t need to know.”

“Okay, okay, but you’ll see. I really want to do right by you.”

“Sure you do.” She was skeptical of anything he said at this point.

“I’m going to make you believe me.”

“Whatever, Matt. I’m exhausted, so you need to go.” Pushing him towards the front door, she was still having a hard time getting a handle on all he had shared. She was reeling from the idea of him wanting the two of them back together and she was just too tired and confused to contemplate it at the moment. Evidently she was more tired than she thought because she wasn’t ready for his next move.

Turning quickly, Matt grabbed her into his arms and kissed her. His firm lips pressed against hers and Sydnee pushed against his chest as he held onto her tighter. Finally, able to get some leverage she pushed him off and slapped him. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Just reminding you of what we used to have and what we can still have,” he grinned, rubbing his cheek. “Feisty. I like that,” he winked before walking out the front door.

Still furious with Matt’s display, she shut the door and locked it. She turned to lean on the wooden frame, and was startled to see the same eyes that just walked out peering up at her.

“Travis, what are you doing up?” Her anger from Matt’s kiss quickly dissipated at the sight of her son standing in his pajamas, and she went to kneel in front of the sleepy six-year old.

“I heard noises, Mommy,” he yawned, rubbing his eyes. She wondered if he’d seen his father practically maul her in the doorway. She hoped not. It was confusing enough for her and she could only imagine how difficult it would be for the little boy to understand what was going on between his parents.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. Mommy was being too loud.” She picked him up and carried him back to his room. “Wow, you’re getting too big for Mommy to carry,” she joked, putting him back in his bed, tucking him in. “Go back to sleep, okay?” She kissed him softly as his eyes closed and she turned to check on Charlie, who was sound asleep. Kissing him on the forehead too, she put his foot back under the covers and walked to the door. She looked at both of them sleeping peacefully before heading to her bedroom to try and get some sleep. She’d deal with all of this in the morning.

###

“Are you okay?” Once Sara found out what Matt had done to ruin Sydnee’s plans with Quinn, she picked the twins up to keep them occupied for a couple of hours while Sydnee and Quinn talked. What started off as a conversation, quickly escalated to them retreating to his bedroom and now they lay tangled in each other’s arms. “You have been pretty quiet.” He rubbed her bare arm, which lay across his smooth chest.

“What time is it?” Sidestepping the question, Sydnee knew she wasn’t okay. She hadn’t been okay since Matt had showed up. Her life seemed to be spinning out of control with every passing minute and she wasn’t sure which way was up. Her thoughts continued to drift back to Matt’s apology and his confession that he’d messed up and he wanted her back. How could she ignore that? Was he sincere? Did he have an ulterior motive? For the longest time, all she wanted was for her husband to love her and want to be with her and their boys. She had wanted him to come back, and even after everything that happened between them, she was more than willing to start over with him. But that was all before she met the wonderful man she was now lying next to with his powerful arms wrapped around her. Quinn made her feel loved. Made her feel wanted, and she needed that. She needed the reassurance she was the only woman he wanted. He gave her that. So why was she feeling so torn?

“It’s three-thirty, and you didn’t answer my question.” He whispered, placing a chaste kiss on her forehead and she knew he had to be sensing her apprehension.

“I’m sorry, Quinn. I’m just trying to deal with all of this.” She hadn’t told Quinn about Matt’s visit, much less about the kiss. She wanted to forget it ever happened. It was the most ironic situation for her to be in. For years, she wanted Matt to step up and come back. Then she met Quinn and he made her forget Matt. She had come a long way since the divorce. On so many occasions, she’d been weak when it came to her ex-husband. There were many times she called him, crying for him to come back so they could work on things. Or the times he’d shown up on her doorstep and she’d let him stay the night with the hopes he would change his mind and come back to her. But, the very next morning, she would awake to a cold empty space beside her. She’d beat herself up wondering what she had done wrong and why he didn’t love her anymore. Now she was embarrassed to think she’d ever done any of it to rekindle the spark in her marriage.

“Your ex is a piece of work.” Jarred from her thoughts, she felt her heartbeat speed up with Quinn’s mention of Matt.

“Oh, I know. I’m sorry about yesterday.” Sitting up slowly, she wrapped the sheet around her and looked into the eyes holding so much concern for her and she just felt like crying. “I wanted to spend time with you. I was looking forward to it.”

“Hey, I told you, it’s okay. I know I rushed off the phone yesterday and I was mad, but I know you couldn’t leave the boys. It’s taking some time for Charlie to be okay with Matt around, isn’t it?” Quinn rubbed her bare back as she sat with the sheet pulled around her chest.

“Yes. He’ll spend time with him, but it has to be in an environment where he feels safe. Like, I can drop him off at Charles and Leanne’s and they can do things there, but he still doesn’t want to go places with him by himself. Of course, Travis is totally different.”

“I know. He’s a little more outgoing. Charlie is just a reserved kind of kid. You can’t rush him to do things,” Quinn smiled.

“See, even you know that and you haven’t been around them that long. Matt uses it to his advantage, but you really care about the boys and you know how to approach them. They really like you a lot, and evidently, when they spend time with Matt, he gets an earful of it from them.” Sydnee cherished the thought of how quickly the boys had taken to Quinn and how he’d equally taken to them. It was great because he never made her regret letting them get to know him.

“Really?”

“Yes,” she sighed, looking over his shoulder at the clock. “I don’t want to leave, but I should get dressed. I have to pick the boys up from Sara’s. She has a date.” She slowly stood up to put on her clothes.

“I hate that you have to leave.” He stood and pulled on a pair of shorts and walked over to where she stood stepping into her shoes. “But, I understand.” Pulling her closer to him, he leaned in to nuzzle her neck. She could feel his powerful hard body against hers and she relaxed against him. For a moment all of her cares and worries dissipated and she was just in the moment, and it felt good. To let go of everything and just be with him.

“Quinn,” she murmured, closing her eyes, wrapping her arms around his bare waist. “If you don’t stop, I’m never going to leave.” His magical mouth was more than she could handle at the moment, and he was tempting her, with every searing, sultry kiss, to stay longer.

“I know,” he grinned deviously. “How about I come by later this week and spend some time with the little guys? Maybe play a few video games?”

“I’d like that and I’m sure they would too,” she reluctantly pushed back from him reaching for her purse and keys. “I gotta go, okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you later.” Kissing him quickly before she got wrapped up in his embrace again, she made her way out of the door and to her car.

“Aww, man, Travis, you’re beating me.” The twins laughed as Quinn’s little character spun around in circles and Travis’ kept going.

“I win.” Travis exclaimed as Charlie looked on.

“Yes, you did. You guys are too good for me.” Quinn chuckled as the two little boys fist-bumped each other with the ritual they had devised with Quinn. He came over just as promised and he and the boys were playing video games. It was something they looked forward to and Quinn had a ball spending time with them.

“Okay, if you are done beating Quinn, it’s time to eat. Go wash up.”

“Okay, Mommy.” Both boys bolted out of the living room and he watched Sydnee shake her head listening to their footsteps echoing off the walls.

“Should I even ask them to stop running?”

“Well, you could, but I’m not sure it would work.”

“I beat you.” Travis stuck his tongue out at Charlie once they raced back to the kitchen. Quinn nearly laughed out loud when both stopped dead in their tracks upon seeing their mother glare at them. It was amazing, no matter what they were doing, Sydnee had a way of giving them a look and they knew they were dangerously close to being punished for something they’d done.

“All right, guys, come on and grab a seat,” Quinn quickly suggested, trying to keep them out of trouble. Sitting down to dinner, they chattered on and on about their game with Quinn, things at school during the day and about the baseball game with their dad the previous week. Travis talked more about the baseball game and the time they spent with their father, and Charlie would chirp in when something was mentioned about the mascot. Quinn listened, and asked the boys questions and kept them giggling throughout dinner. Once they finished, the boys talked him and Sydnee into building houses with them out of blocks until it was time for bed.

The twins groaned at first, but Quinn promised to tell them a story if they would go ahead and get ready for bed. He helped them with their pajamas and brushing their teeth and once they were in their beds, he told the most animated version of ‘
The Three Little Pigs
’ they had ever heard. They laughed and giggled as he huffed and puffed like the big bad wolf while Sydnee cleaned the kitchen.