The Caregiver (10 page)

She remembered the way he’d looked after her in the train station in Toledo. And the patience he’d had for little Katie.

And the warmth she’d felt when she’d spied his regard for her.

And the chill she’d felt when she’d seen his scorn.

While those mixed emotions spun in her mind, Lucy couldn’t help but stare at him. Reacquainting herself with him, her eyes leapt from one part of his body to the next, automatically taking stock.

He was as handsome as ever. His blue eyes clear and merry. His light blond hair was as thick and straight as she remembered. And just as in need of fingertips to smooth it out. And that slight bump in the line of his nose reminded her that he still wasn’t perfect.

Yes, Calvin looked much the same, only better. He wore a fresh white shirt and black suspenders. Black pants and boots. His hat was straw.

He looked much like every other Amish man, but to her, so much more. There was a sparkle in his eyes that she had once found comfort in. His smile was just as wide, his teeth just as white. But it was his natural exuberance that drew her to him like little else ever had.

He stopped a few feet away from her, as if he feared getting too close. “Are you here on your own?”

“No, I’m with my Aunt Jenna. My uncle is with Mattie. She had to see the
doktah
. We’re getting a few things done until it is time to pick them up. What about you?”

“My mother wanted to pick up some bulk foods, but she got sidetracked by her friends. So now I’m wandering around.” Now that he was standing next to her, he leaned a little closer, closing the space between them.

Now she smelled the lingering scent of soap on his skin, and a faint aroma of leather and horse. Her mouth went dry.

If Calvin noticed the way she was affected by him, he gave no sign. Just like they saw each other all the time, he asked, “Care to wander around a bit with me?”

With effort, she made herself remember his scowl. Made herself remember his clenched fists. Though it was almost painful to do so, she retreated. “I had better not.”

“Please? I promise, I just want to visit with you for a bit.” His voice was gentle, patient. Like he had all the time in the day for her. When she raised her eyes to his, the faint laugh lines around his eyes deepened. “I promise—that’s all,” he murmured.

Say no
, she cautioned herself.
Say no and be safe
. But her tongue—the traitor that it was—answered before she could follow her own advice. “Well, then . . . all right.”

Calvin’s eyes lit up. Then, by mutual consent, they started walking. They walked past the pet-food aisle, into the lawn-and-garden area. Usually, Lucy knew she would have been interested in the multitude of gardening products and trays of fresh flowers. But not now. Now she neither smelled the scents of the many roses nor noticed the blue begonias.

No, she noticed only his square jaw and the blue of his eyes.

When he noticed her inspecting him, he smiled. “So, how is your cousin? I haven’t heard much from Graham.”

“Mattie is having a time of it, I’m afraid. She’s scared but doesn’t want to burden anyone. Because of that, sometimes I think she’s in more pain than she needs to be, simply because she doesn’t want to ask either her parents or me for more medicine or help.”

“Perhaps you will learn to predict her needs. Or she will learn to accept your help.”

“I hope so. Uncle Ben and Aunt Jenna have been beside themselves with worry. They fret, then ask Mattie things she can’t answer. Next thing you know, she begins to get stressed and my aunt and uncle get perturbed. It’s an uneasy situation.”

“I imagine so.”

“What of you? How is Katie? And your brothers?”

“Katie is fine. As bossy and chatty as ever. And my brothers are well enough. The same.” Calvin paused, his attention momentarily diverted by the array of televisions in front of them. Each showed the same picture, of a man on a golf course. When the player in the bright orange shirt hit the ball and the crowd surrounding him clapped, Calvin whistled low. “I’m sorry. I’ve always fancied golf. I can’t seem to help myself.”

“Have you played?”

“Once or twice with John.” His eyes darted to the television screens again. His voice grew softer. “There’s something about simply being outside in nature, walking along in the silence, only thinking about trying to hit a tiny white ball, that I enjoy. You should play one day. You’d like it, I feel sure.”

He felt sure? Until this very moment, she’d never imagined playing golf. Actually, she’d never even thought about golf or golf courses at all. But now, seeing the wonder in Calvin’s eyes, she began to imagine that she, too, could try something new. “Perhaps one day I’ll get the opportunity.”

“I hope you shall. But for now, we had best walk on. Now, tell me . . . have you thought of our trip to the zoo much?”

“I have.”
Only all the time.
“You?”

“I have.” His expression turning solemn, he added, “And I’ve thought much about what happened afterward. You know I was only worried about the horse, don’t you?” Before she could answer, he added quickly, “Lucy, I promise, it’s not in my nature to be an angry or violent man.”

Lucy looked at his face, thought about his behavior the whole time they had been together on the train. Recalled how patient he’d been with his sister. And with her. And slowly let herself believe that maybe—just maybe—his temper had been a one-time thing. “Calvin. You were so very angry.”

“I know. And I’m sorry I frightened you,” he added quickly as his eyes turned pleading. “But, Lucy, he was slowly killing his horse. And that poor mare had no escape. Someone had to stand up for it. Even if it did no good, someone had to care enough to at least try.”

A lump formed in her throat as she processed his words. And then finally it clicked. Calvin had been trying to prevent abuse—not perpetrate it.

How different her life might have been if someone had come to her aid.

“Perhaps . . . perhaps, I overreacted. If I did, I’m sorry,” she murmured as they headed back toward the front of the store.

Pure relief entered his eyes. “So, we’re better? You understand?”

Her emotions were so high, she could only nod.

“Ah, Lucy! I found you!” Aunt Jenna called out from a bevy of ladies. “And you found Calvin. How nice.” Jenna beckoned them toward her. “Calvin, how are you?”

“I am well, thank you.”

More ladies approached them. With her hand resting on Lucy’s shoulder, Aunt Jenna said proudly, “Everyone, this is my niece Lucy. She’s come to help with Mattie’s treatments for a month.”

“I’m pleased to meet all of you.”

Next to her, Calvin said, “Lucy, this is my
mamm,
Mary Weaver.”

“It is nice to meet you, too.”

“I heard about your train ride,” Mrs. Weaver said. “I’m glad you and Calvin had each other for company.”

“And John. And Katie.” Lucy looked at Calvin and couldn’t help but smile. “I was thankful for them all.”

Mrs. Weaver chuckled. “That’s terribly kind of you. You must be a mighty nice woman, Lucy. Our Katie can try the patience of us all sometimes.”

Darting a look Calvin’s way, Lucy said, “I can see how that would be true.”

More ladies approached, teasing Jenna and Mary, and began chatting with Calvin. Lucy scanned the area, wondering just how many Amish ladies could be in one Wal-Mart.

And then she noticed a girl about her age, standing off to the side. Watching them.

She looked away, trying to focus on the conversation. But then she glanced the girl’s way again. No, she hadn’t been mistaken. The girl was definitely staring, and her expression was thunderous. Lucy raised her chin and looked straight back.

Calvin looked at her curiously. “Lucy? What is it?”

“I’m not sure. That girl seems to be staring at us. ”

He shrugged. “The English do like to stare.”

“No, it’s more than that.”

Still not taking his eyes from her, he said, “Well, you are very pretty. Perhaps that’s why she’s looking.”

Their eyes met. Her stomach did a little flip. Once again, she felt the same pull toward him that she had at the zoo.

Until his mother lifted her head and stiffened as well. “Oh, dear,” she said.

Calvin finally looked. Then sighed. “That girl is Gwen Kent,” he said after a moment. “She and I . . . we were sweethearts. Once.”

Unable to stop herself, Lucy said curiously, “Is she mad at you?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that.”

“Nothing’s wrong with Calvin,” his mother said. “But that Gwen, well . . . she near broke his heart.”

“Mamm,” he warned.

“It’s true,” another lady murmured. “Everyone, including Calvin here, thought they would be planning a wedding soon. But instead, Gwen’s eye strayed. Next thing we all knew, she was keeping company with Will.”

“It wasn’t quite like that,” Calvin said, looking like he wished he were anywhere but where he was. “Gwen and Will, um, fell in love in spite of themselves.”

“Hmmph,” his mother said.

Lucy felt a chill to her bones. It seemed she hadn’t been the only person to be taken in by false promises before. “I’m terribly sorry.”

Calvin shrugged and turned away. “Oh, it’s not such a big thing now.”

Lucy said nothing, but couldn’t forget the look in his eyes when he’d revealed that Gwen had once been his girl.

Oh, but the Lord had a sense of humor. Not only was He putting Calvin in her life again, but He was placing his sweetheart there as well, just to remind Lucy not to trust herself.

Or men.

Not even Calvin Weaver.

Chapter 14

F
rom the moment he’d met Amos, John knew he’d made a friend. A very good friend.

The second time they’d talked, when he’d confided to the old guy that he was uncomfortable living on the farm, Amos offered a solution. Amos wanted a partner. Actually, he wanted someone to take over his business.

“All I want to do is make donuts, John,” he’d groused. “I’m gonna go nuts if I have to sit back behind that forsaken counter for one more day.”

“I can sit there all day. I make a decent cup of coffee, too,” he’d said.

After a brief conversation about money, the deal was done.

The offer of becoming partners in the donut shop should have taken a lot of thought and consideration. But John knew it felt right.

So he’d accepted Amos’s offer to live above the donut shop, and now worked side by side with the elderly man, learning the business, and enjoying his company.

Things with his brother’s family were going well, too. Little by little, their conversations were less stilted. Mary now invited him over for dinner on Fridays. Calvin, Loyal, and Graham seemed to accept him in their lives . . . even if he wasn’t Amish. Katie, of course, had made his life wonderful. Every time they saw each other, she greeted him with hugs and kisses, and big happy smiles.

In town, he was also becoming more comfortable. He was making a few friends.

And then there was Jayne Donovan. Since their run-in, he’d seen her one other time. And though they didn’t have a date or anything planned, he knew there was an attraction between them that couldn’t be denied. Every time he was near her, he couldn’t help but stare at those unusual eyes of hers.

Taking out a fresh towel, he started wiping down one of the empty bakery cases.

And then thought about Jayne some more. Yep. One of these days, he was going to have to ask her out. Maybe he’d take her into Chagrin Falls—it was only a thirty-minute drive. He could take her out to dinner . . . they could walk around the square, look at the falls.

She could smile at him . . . and he could think about kissing her good night—

“Excuse me? Are you working?”

Slowly, he got to his feet from where he knelt. “Obviously,” he replied, smiling to take the sting out of his remark. He’d always had the tendency to be too cheeky.

The Amish woman’s eyes widened as he stood up, then she carefully stepped a little closer to her son standing next to her. He was a handsome boy, on the verge of manhood. Probably twelve, or thereabouts.

“May I help you?” he asked.

“You may,” she said primly. “We need a dozen donuts, please.”

He washed his hands quickly, then grabbed a box. “Any special kind?”

She bit her lip, just as if she was making the biggest decision of the day. Finally she looked at him. “All glazed, please.”

Her eyes were a pale green, the exact same color as the boy’s. Leaning his elbows on the counter, he smiled at the boy. “Are you sure? We have lots of other kinds. Lemon filled, cream cakes . . .”

Her eyes widened, then she shook her head. “No, glazed will do fine.”

Agreeably, he arranged the twelve donuts in a box, then smiled at the boy. “When you order twelve you get a baker’s dozen. Do you want your thirteenth now?”

His eyes lit up. “Can I, Mamm?”

Again, John watched her make the stupendous decision. But instead of feeling irritated, he became amused. She really was a cute thing. “All right,” she finally said. “You worked hard at the store today.”

“What kind do you want?” John asked.

“Chocolate,” the boy said.

After John gave him it, the boy whispered and pointed to the window.

The lady nodded and watched him leave before turning to John. “How much?”

“Six-fifty.” While he waited for her to get out her wallet, John said, “Good-looking boy you have.”

She handed him a five. “
Danke
. I mean, thank you.”

“I know
Danke
. I grew up Amish,” he said, surprising himself. He couldn’t remember the last person he’d told out of the blue like that. “I see he has your eyes. Is he your only one?”

“Yes.” She smiled. “My Abel is a wonderful-
gut
son. He’s been a great help to me ever since my husband passed on to heaven.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“I am, too.” She shrugged. “But unfortunately, I lost my husband almost eight years ago. It’s been some time.”

“And you haven’t remarried?”

She shook her head, then stilled. Perhaps noticing, as John was, that the conversation was bordering on awkward.

He handed her the box, neatly taped up. “Here you go. I hope you’ll come back.”

“Are you new here?”

“In a way. I’m John Weaver, Jacob Weaver’s younger brother, if you know his family. I moved away twenty years ago, but I’m back.”

“To stay?”

“Yes.”

She looked at him again, then finally smiled. “Then perhaps I will see you again. Abel and I enjoy these donuts.”

“Especially the glazed?”

Her cheeks pinkened just like a girl’s. “Yes,” she murmured before turning away.

John watched her walk over to where her son was chatting with two other boys. She smiled. And then, to his amusement, she opened the box and offered the boys donuts, too.

John was . . . charmed.

She was fresh and sweet and had the prettiest eyes he’d ever seen. And though she knew his name, and he knew Abel’s, John realized he didn’t know her name. He really should have asked.

“M
attie? Mattie, can you hear me? It’s time to wake up for a bit.”

Mattie opened her eyes, looked at Lucy, and groaned. “How can this medicine be making me better? This morning, I feel ten times worse than I did at the medical center.”

“The nurses warned that might be the case,” Lucy said as she perched on the side of the bed. She held up a cup of ice water. “Do you want a sip?”

Mattie didn’t want a thing. She wanted to curl up in a ball and wish her troubles away. Have a good cry. But even in the weak condition she was in, she knew that wouldn’t help. Nothing good ever came from hiding and pretending nothing was wrong. She’d discovered that when she’d felt a lump under her arm and had ignored it.

Gingerly, she sat up and tried to smile. Though it embarrassed her, she let Lucy hold her cup for her as she sipped once, then swallowed again. The icy water did taste wonderful on her parched tongue. She swallowed again, but too fast and choked.

“Easy now,” Lucy murmured. “Take small sips.”

Mattie did as she bid. When the cup was half empty, she looked at Lucy and smiled.

Lucy returned her weak smile tenfold. “See, Mattie, things are going to be all right. Slowly but surely, we’re going to get through this. I’m sure of it.”

“
Slowly
is right,” she mumbled.

Doubt clouded Lucy’s caramel eyes for a moment before she beamed again. “Come now. We must look on the bright side,
jah
? You got through your first treatment!” Hardly skipping a beat, Lucy started smoothing Mattie’s fluffed pillows and yellow basket–patterned quilt. “That cancer isn’t going to have a chance.”

“I hope so,” she replied, though mentally she rolled her eyes. Yesterday, when they’d first put the medicine in her IV tube, she’d been scared to death. When she’d felt the cold liquid pour into her veins, she’d braced herself for pain. But none came, perhaps because of the many pills she was taking now to fight off everything from pain to nausea to sleeplessness.

However, today nothing seemed right. She felt achy and worn-out. So, so tired.

Leaning closer, Lucy carefully wrapped her hands around Mattie’s. Warming them. “Please stay positive, Mattie. You’re a fighter, and you’re going to win this battle, I just know it.”

“A fighter, hmm?” Mattie mused. “I never thought of myself in that way.”

“It’s about time you did. Now, are you ready to walk down the hall and use the restroom?”

“I suppose.”

Over the next hour, Lucy held her cousin steady as she walked down the hall, took care of her needs, and brushed her hair.

When Lucy offered to bring her some toast in bed, Mattie shook her head. “I can sit in the family room, at least. Just help me get on a robe.”

Finally, while sitting on the couch, armed with hot herbal tea and some dry toast, Mattie was just feeling almost like herself when the kitchen door opened. “Hello?” a male voice called out. “May I come in?”

With a glare, Lucy jumped to her feet.

Mattie laughed. Lucy looked so like an avenging angel. “It’s just Graham, Lucy. Not a stranger.”

“Graham?”

“Graham Weaver,” Mattie explained. “You know. Calvin’s younger brother.”

He poked his head in. “May I come in?”

Lucy started toward the kitchen. “What do you want to do?” she whispered. “Do you want me to make him leave?”

“No.” What her cousin didn’t understand was that she and Graham had been friends for pretty much all their lives. “If he came to visit, I’d like to see him for a bit.”

Before Lucy could say another word, Graham bounded forward. “Hello, Lucy,” he said politely, then crossed the room to Mattie, a bouquet of tulips in his hand. “I brought you some flowers.”

“So I see.”

Looking pleased with himself, he said, “I thought you might want to see some spring flowers when you wake up in the mornings.”

They were lovely. The eight blooms were a mixture of rose and violet and yellow, each one prettier than the last. “Nothing could brighten my day more,” she said honestly.

Still hovering, Lucy stepped forward. “I’ll put the tulips in water,” Lucy offered.

“Danke,”
Mattie said.

When they were alone, Graham pulled up a chair and sat next to her. Oh, but he looked so dear. And so ill at ease.

Turning serious, he said, “How are you doing?”

“Well enough, I suppose.”

He shook his head. “Really?”

“Ah, we’re telling the truth now, are we?” She shrugged. “I’ve been better.”

“Mattie, are you in pain?”

“A little, but I don’t need anything,” she added when he looked like he was about to jump to his feet to get her help. “I mean beyond the flowers.”

“I’ll bring them to you all the time, then.” His teasing smile let her know that she didn’t need to take him seriously.

“There’s no need for that. Just bring yourself. You know I value your friendship the most.”

“You always have that,” he said quietly as he reached out and took her hand. Like she was made of glass, he ran one finger along the black-and-blue marks. “Ah, Mattie. Look at that. You’ve got a good-sized bruise on your hand.”

She pushed up her sleeve to show him another quarter-sized mark on the inside of her elbow, where they took so many blood samples. “I’m a regular pincushion these days, I’m afraid. I look ugly.”

“Never that.”

Graham’s words were softly said, but there seemed to be a hint of something new, too. A deeper emotion, right under the surface.

As she sat by his side, sensing his warmth, that old, familiar feeling of fascination for Graham came rolling back. Years ago, back when they were barely thirteen or fourteen, she’d had a terrible crush on him. He’d been so cute, and a favorite with all the girls.

She, on the other hand, had been going through an awkward stage, all arms and legs. That, combined with her moony gaze, had worked against any hope of the two of them being together.

In what had felt like no time at all, Graham had looked beyond his gangly next-door neighbor. Instead, he’d spent all his energy flirting with just about every other girl in their circle of friends.

After a time, she’d shaken off her infatuation and had moved on. Content to only be friends, thankful to have a good friend in him.

But now, as he stared at her, she wondered what would happen if things changed between them. Would their relationship turn awkward? Hesitant? Or would it finally feel right . . . the way it was supposed to?

Graham blinked, then smoothed a wrinkle on his shirt. “What, Mattie? Do I have a spider on me or somethin’?”

“Definitely not! You know if you had a spider on you, I’d be squealing.”

He laughed. “That’s true. I’ve never met a woman so afraid of bugs. So . . . you okay?”

“
Jah
. My mind just drifted, I suppose. Thank you again for the flowers.”

“Anytime.” But there was still a new wariness about him.

“Tell me about your brothers,” she murmured. “What’s new with them?”

Relaxing against the cushion of the couch, Graham propped one foot over his opposite knee. “Quite a bit, actually. As you know, Calvin and Katie had a
gut
time on his trip to Indianapolis.”