The Boy I Love (Falling for You #2) (3 page)

“I hear that, too,” I joined in, and then looked down at my phone. It buzzed.

Payton.

*So you’ll be able to come home?*

One track mind, Payton.

Yeah! I start tomorrow. It’s at the library!  I get to shelve books.

*Can you talk now?*

It’s really loud here. I’m out celebrating with Alexis and Todd.

*Where are you?*

Woody’s Tavern. We’re drinking some daiquiris and talking about the real world. I should be back soon, though.

*fine*

I looked down at his text and huffed. “Fine?”

“What’s fine?” Todd asked.

“Oh, Payton’s text. He just wrote ‘fine’.”

“What was the
fine
from?” Alexis wondered.

“He asked where I was and wanted to talk and I said that it was too loud in here and that we were celebrating.”

Alexis rolled her eyes. “Weren’t you here with that dumbass, Chad?”

My eyes widened.
I swear I never thought of that
. “Yep,” I said, darkly. “Great.”

“Yep,” Alexis replied, letting the p ‘pop’ at the end of her word. Todd shook his head.

“I don’t want to sound like a dick or anything, but this guy is really intense. He knows you’re with us, and we’re together,” Todd said, gesturing to Alexis and himself, “so there shouldn’t have been a problem. He just seems kind of…controlling.”

Todd did have a point there. I blew out a long breath and put my head back. “I know. He’s not controlling, but you’re right about how intense he is. He just…”

“Loves you a lot,” Alexis interrupted. “And, she did go on a date of sorts with a guy while she was dating him.” Alexis looked at Todd and nodded as his eyes widened.

Todd turned his head fast and looked at me, shocked. “You did?”

“It wasn’t a date. He was tutoring me in math.”

“Why not just ask Alexis?” Todd asked.

“I…I don’t know…”

“Because she’s never dated, Todd. She has to be a little curious about it all.”

I frowned, wondering if that’s what I was doing.

“You haven’t? Why?” Todd asked, confused, eliciting a smack from Alexis. “What was that for?”

“You’re being goofy,” Alexis said. Todd rolled his eyes.

“I just didn’t date in school,” I said, chiming in. Todd looked completely blown away.

“I can’t believe all you hot chicks were single in high school. It kind of blows my mind.”

Alexis laughed and I grinned. “Did you date a lot, Todd?”

Todd smiled. “Define a lot?”

Alexis smacked him again. “Pig.”

Todd leaned in and kissed Alexis full on the mouth. “Oink.”

I smiled, but then looked back down at Payton’s last text. “Maybe I should go back and call him?”

Alexis was already shaking her head. “No. You’ve done nothing wrong, Keri. Stay and finish your drink, and then we’ll all go back together.”

“Okay.”

“Good,” Alexis said, and then she picked up her glass. Todd picked his up, too, and before I knew it, we were ordering another. Todd and Alexis were fun people to hang out with.

An hour or so later
, we were all back in the room, chilling out in front of the TV and watching Netflix.

“Want some popcorn?” Alexis asked as she stood up from the couch. I was sandwiched in between her and Todd, making sure that the slurping was kept at a bare minimum.

“Yep,” I said, and then looked at Todd; he was already nodding his acknowledgement. “What are we going to watch?”

“I was thinking ‘Chuck’,” Todd stated, and then looked toward Alexis. Alexis nodded, and I did, too.

“Great show.”

“Want to start from episode one, and make it all the way through?” Alexis chimed in from beside the microwave. She was hopping back and forth, shaking her rear to some non-existent music.

I grinned, and looked toward Todd whose eyes were already focused on Alexis’s great ass. “Really, Todd?”

Todd laughed, and Alexis turned around. “What?”

“Todd was checking out your goods,” I said, laughing. Todd shrugged and Alexis grinned.

“Good. He should always check them out.”

I shook my head and then looked down toward my cell. I still hadn’t called Payton. I sighed. “Since I’ve already seen the first episode, I’m going to go out in the hall and call Payton, okay?”

Alexis came back to the couch with the popcorn freshly popped, and the smell was amazing. I inhaled once, and then stuck my hand in the bowl and pulled out a handful of kernels. “This looks so good.”

“Don’t be too long, okay?” Alexis said with a worried glance.

“I won’t. I just want him to know that I’m going to make it home for Christmas, and alleviate all of those
Payton worries
he has up in his noggin. You know how he is.”

Alexis nodded. “Yeah, he’s got it bad.”

I smiled softly. I knew what she was talking about, but wasn’t sure if it was as serious as she and Todd were. They were in the ‘everything is wonderful’ faze… Payton and I were in the ‘wtf’ stage. Everything was questioned, everything was passionate—but to a point, and everything was uber complicated. Too complicated. Life should never be this complicated. That’s the stage we were in.

“Yeah,” is the only thing I said before walking out into the hall, leaving the two lovebirds on the couch to their slurping.

I pulled up Payton’s
number quickly and pushed send. He picked up on the first ring.

“Where have you been?” he asked, sounding worried.

I sighed. “I told you. I was at Woody’s Tavern with Alexis and Todd. We were just celebrating my new job.”

Payton didn’t say anything for a few seconds and then blew out a deep breath. “I know…I’m just…I was worried. That campus doesn’t seem the safest.”

I smiled. It wasn’t the safest university in the world, but it wasn’t the worst either. “I was perfectly fine. I was with a group of people.”

“Yeah.”

“So, how was your day?” I asked, hoping to get the subject firmly off of me.

“It was okay. Dad’s got me doing doubles. I don’t mind though. It keeps my mind off of things.”

“Things?”

“You,” Payton replied.

“Oh.” I didn’t mean to sound defeated, but I did. Completely.

“I worry about you all the time, and working helps me to concentrate on something else other than that,” Payton said, trying to ease my saddened tone.

“There’s nothing to worry about, Pay. It’s just the same old me,” I said, only it wasn’t. I wasn’t the same. I was without a father, with a boyfriend for the first time in my life, and I wanted to experience things, have adventures, stories to tell my grandkids one day. And, I was worried about my mom.

“You keep saying that, but I don’t quite believe you,” Payton admitted. “I know there’s something wrong.”

“Oh, and where did you get that idea?” I asked, my tone saying that I was a little miffed.

“It’s in everything you do. When we were back at the treehouse—”

“Back to that,” I interrupted, “again?”

Payton sighed. “You knew what I meant when I said what I did, and you got all bent out of shape. You were ready to just be done with me.”

“Well, it was an asshole thing to say, Payton.”

“I don’t want to fight,” Payton finally said, and I stewed.

“Oh really? So that’s why you texted me ‘fine’?”

“I know. I shouldn’t have said—”

“No you shouldn’t have. You don’t trust me at all, do you?”

Payton sighed once again. “It’s not that, Keri. I just…you’re a long way away from me, and we’re not going to see each other until Christmas, and you make these decisions without me.”

“What decisions?” I asked, fuming.

“The part about you not coming for Christmas.”

“I told you I was coming for Christmas!” I yelled, and the door to my dorm opened. Alexis looked worried.

“You okay?” she asked.

I nodded. She closed the door.

“I know, you did today, but…you weren’t going to and you didn’t even ask how I’d feel about that,” Payton said quietly.

“I guess I didn’t think it was your decision, Payton. I’m not rich, and neither is my mom. I won’t always be able to come home for every little thing.”

“So I’m just a ‘little thing’ now?” Payton fumed.

“You’re ridiculous is what you are. You’re petty, and controlling, and…and…”

“Do you love me, Keri?”

My heart was beating fast now, and by the sound of Payton’s last question, and the way he said it, I felt sad. I wasn’t sure what I loved. Payton was my best friend. Sure I loved him. But…

“I guess that answers my question,” Payton said. I heard him sniff, which meant he was either crying or he was ready to. I started to panic.

“Don’t…”

“It’s fine, you know? Let’s just…I don’t know, slow down things. You’re over there and I’m here. You have a long time until you’re done with school.”

Payton sounded completely defeated. I felt a weight off my chest, and a sadness from breaking his heart. “I’m sorry, Pay. I think that’s a good idea.” I wrapped my arms around my body and held the cell up to my ear with my shoulder. “This has been way too complicated. Life should never be this complicated.”

Payton cleared his throat. “Yeah. It’s…we’re still friends, right?”

I nodded, and a few tears escaped my eyes. “Ye…yeah, best friends.”

Payton laughed gruffly. “This is going to suck for me.”

I blew out a breath and leaned my head against the wall and slumped down to the floor. “Yeah.” It was going to suck for me, too.

“I’ll see you at Christmas still, right?” Payton asked softly.

“Yeah, I’ll be there.”

“Okay. Well, I lo…I’ll see you then. Take care.”

I swallowed, feeling my throat clog. He was going to tell me he loved me, and then backed off. “We’ll email, right?”

“Yeah, that’s…that’s fine. Yeah.”

I didn’t want to lose the friendship that we built, but I also knew it wasn’t fair to him. “Good. Have a good night.”

I heard the dial tone and realized that Payton didn’t wish me a good night, he didn’t even say goodbye; he must have hated me. I hated myself. I got up from the floor, and put my hand on the doorknob and opened it up to Alexis, who wrapped her arms around me and squeezed.

“You okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah, we just broke up.”

“I know, I was listening,” she said, not caring that she had listened in on a rather personal conversation.

I laughed softly and started to cry. “I broke his heart today.”

“You’ll see him at Christmas. Maybe by then, you’ll know what you want.”

“Maybe,” I mumbled. “It’s not that I don’t know what I want, it’s just…everything feels so ill-timed. I’m still getting over my father’s death, getting over the fact that Payton loves me, and that we are no longer best friends, but could be something bigger. That’s not something easy to just work out. And, not only that, I’m worried about my mom. She’s all alone in the house.”

“I know…”

“I’m…overwhelmed I guess.”

“You need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others, Keri. Figure out what you want, and then you can work out all the other issues.”

Alexis always seemed to make sense. I wiped at my eyes, and saw Todd on the couch, holding the popcorn bowl in his lap. He looked at me and smiled.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” I said and nodded.

“Come sit down and watch this show with me. It’s exactly what you need.”

“And what’s that?”

“Laughter, guns, shooting, nerdy guys that never get the girl, and of course you can’t discount the whole spy angle.”

I smiled. “Thanks, Todd.”

“You’re welcome. We didn’t want to start the show without you. We didn’t even make out while you were in the hall.”

I quirked my eyebrow and Todd shook his head. “Nope, nothing.”

“I was too busy listening at the door,” Alexis admitted. “I’m a good friend.”

“Yeah, you kind of are,” I admitted.

“Everything will work out the way it’s meant to.” Alexis looked at Todd and nodded, and he pushed play. We sat on the couch and watched ‘Chuck’, ate popcorn, and had some Cokes until Netflix asked us if we were still watching the same program. At that, we all laughed and2 decided that it was time to turn off the TV. School would come early, and then after—work. We all had jobs now, and would be tired if we didn’t get enough sleep.

Before closing my eyes, however, I looked down at my phone, noticing I had a missed message from Payton.

*Kings to you, Fernan. *

My bottom lip trembled, and I turned toward the wall and cried. Payton talked in movie quotes often, and he’d just let me know via
The Count of Monte Cristo
that the ball was now in my court, and even though I thought the breakup was a good idea, in my heart I was crushed. The thought of Payton moving on was heartbreaking.