The Boy I Love (Falling for You #2) (2 page)

Chapter Two

*Square One*

I
was back on campus, and waiting in my dorm room for a call that I knew wouldn’t be coming, and to be honest, I wasn’t even sure I really wanted to talk to him. Payton, the boy that I loved, and that I kind of hated at the same time. Payton, the boy that wanted to hurry up and just get it done, instead of the man that I knew he should have been, that should have taken it slow and sexy.

“
How fast do you think we can do this?
”
played over and over in my mind, and have ever since he said the stupid ass phrase.

“Ugh!” I cried. I put my head into my pillow and actually screamed, not caring at all if everyone in the damned dorm heard me. “Boys!”

“Boys? Ut, oh,” Alexis said as she came through the door. Todd wasn’t with her, which was surprising, and good.

“Yeah,” I said, clearly frustrated.

“What happened?”

“Payton happened. He’s just so…so…”

“So?” Alexis prompted.

“Stupid.”

“Okay, I thought he was perfect just a week ago. In fact, yesterday you said that he was perfect. What the hell did he say?”

“He just… We were going at it, and we were going to, ya know?” I couldn’t really say the words, and the fact that I couldn’t probably spoke volumes.

Alexis put her hand in front of her mouth and squealed. “You did it?!”

My face reddened, and stupid tears started streaking down my stupid adolescent cheeks.

“Oh shit!  What the hell happened? Was it bad?”

I shook my head.

“Well,” Alexis said, coming in for a hug, “that’s good. So, it was good, so what’s wrong?”

“It wasn’t…”

“I thought you said it wasn’t bad?” Alexis asked, confused. She pulled back and looked at my face, worry etched in her features.

I hiccupped. “We didn’t do it.”

Alexis tilted her head to the side, and then shook it. “Okay, so?”

“We didn’t do it; Mom sort of interrupted.”

“Well that’s a real bummer,” Alexis said, and I couldn’t help but agree and disagree. “Then what? Did Payton get mad?”

“N…no! He wanted to still do it.”

“Well, honey, boys are kind of dumb, but I don’t blame him. I mean, you’ve known each other for a long time, and to be honest I’m surprised you didn’t do it here. You were alone pretty much all week.”

I felt like a real dumbass. True, we were alone pretty much all week, but we didn’t have time. And, it wasn’t cool, and it didn’t feel right. The tree fort, now that felt right.

“It just wasn’t the right time when we were here alone.”

“Okay…”

“It wasn’t. Trust me.”

“So, then what?”

“Then, after Mom came up and interrupted, he wanted to just do it really fast to get it over with.”

“Well that’s romantic.”

“Yeah,” I said, miffed. “Totally.”

“Well, I’m sure he feels bad,” Alexis added, hopeful.

“Yeah, I’m sure he does, too, but I guess I really don’t care anymore.”

“You don’t mean that, Ker.”

I wiped at my eyes and took a deep breath. “I do. It shouldn’t be this hard. I mean, I’m hot and cold with him. We never fought as friends. Boyfriend and girlfriend is just too much.”

“I don’t think you should make any decisions now. I mean, you were just going to have sex with him, and that’s huge, especially for you.”

“For the virgin, you mean?” I said, dejectedly. “I know I’m not cool like you.”

Alexis’s eyes widened. “I think I’m offended,” she said, sounding hurt. “Listen, I’m not the enemy here. And, just so you know, Todd’s my one and only. I may be all in with him, but he’s all in with me, too.”

I huffed. “I know, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Alexis said, and then put her hands on her hips. “Give it a few days. Seriously, Payton is pretty damn amazing, but it’s clear that he’s a dude, and dudes are just kind of dumb.”

I nodded, but wasn’t really feeling too agreeable. “I’ll try.”

“Please, just try for me. Besides, what can it hurt? You’re going to be busy for the next month, and it will give you time. You love ‘email Payton’, and you know how much you enjoyed really getting to know him. It’ll all be great, you’ll see.”

Maybe she was right.
Email Payton
was pretty spectacular. “Okay,” I sighed, and felt immediately better. I should have known that being back in Ohio with Alexis was the best medicine to get me over myself and my Payton issues. “Have I told you how much I love you lately?”

Alexis put her arms back around me and squeezed. “No, but I know you do. I love you, too.”

***

Payton

I
sat in the tree fort, pissed. Once again, Keri and I were having issues. It really shouldn’t be this hard. I shouldn’t have said the stupid words that pissed her off so much either. I was a world class moron.

All I knew about sex was in this stupid fort, and on the few DVDS that I had in a lock box under my bed.

Keri.

My best friend.

My sexy, leggy, beautiful breasted, best friend.

Shit.

I sat on the unmade mattress, thinking of the last time that she was with me, making out, braless, naked… damn. Another erection. No big deal. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t had an erection for about two weeks straight anyway. I leaned back on the mattress and looked up at the ceiling and unbuttoned my jeans. I eased them down and grabbed on to my problem. I closed my eyes and saw Keri right away.

Then the phone rang.

“Motherf*#4—”

I looked down at the screen and saw that it was her.

I swallowed, tried to calm my nerves and then I answered. “Hello?”

“Hey.”

I took a shallow breath and practically squeaked. “Hey.”

“I’m back, I thought maybe you’d want to know.”

I let out a deep breath and closed my eyes. “Yes. Honey, I’m so sorry.” There, I apologized. Maybe I’d be able to just think now.

“Me, too.”

“This is hard. It really shouldn’t be this hard, should it?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered.

“Me, either.”

“What are you doing?” she asked, and I looked up at the ceiling, guilty.

“Um, well… I…”

“What?”

She sounded as if she were on alert now. Great. What the hell do I say now?
Well, I was just about to rub one off, but then you called?
That would make her effing ecstatic. “I’m…I’m in the fort. I was just sitting her thinking of you.” There, that was at least half of the truth. I couldn’t be caught for that.

“I’ve been thinking about you, too.”

“And?”

I could hear her take a deep breath now. This was it. She was going to realize what a world class moron I was and she was finally going to break up with me. Well, break up with me officially.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I guess I overreacted.”

At the apology, I nearly fainted. I actually wanted to get out a calendar and write exactly what she said on that very date, circle it in red, and then smile at it for the next million years, proving that she indeed had been wrong.

“It’s okay,” I said. “I was an ass, and I didn’t mean to be.” That much was true. I was an ass, and I didn’t know what I did until she flipped out, and it was too late. Because then, she’d been crazy Keri, and although it was kind of sexy; it was scary. Keri was kind of nuts when she was mad.

“I know you didn’t. I had a talk with Alexis.”

Great, now Alexis would know all about my sex life or lack thereof.

“Okay…”

“I just told her about what you said, and I was thinking about, you know?”

“Breaking up with me?” I asked.

I could almost feel her nodding. She didn’t answer.

“Anyway, I’m glad I talked with her. I feel kind of stupid now, Pay. I’m sorry.”

“Me, too,” I admitted. “I love you. I don’t want to fight.”

“Me, either.”

“Christmas is a month away, and I want to see you, and I don’t want this over our heads.”

“I don’t want it over our heads either.”

“Good. So the flight, was it easy?” I changed the subject. There was no use in talking about the same thing over and over again. Keri sighed.

“Yeah it was fine.”

“Good.” I didn’t know what else to say. Her one word answers were irritating as well as nerve-wracking.

“So we’re okay?” she asked quietly.

I nodded even though she couldn’t see me. “Yeah.”

“Good. Well, it’s late, and I have an early class. Email tomorrow?” she asked.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” I replied, even though the thought of going back to her email boyfriend seemed like a downgrade.

“Good. I’ll talk to you then. Bye.”

“I…”

She hung up.

She’d hung up and we didn’t say our I love yous again.

I looked down, and my erection had finally disappeared. Keri was gone, I was back to being her ‘e-friend’ and I was still a virgin. Life was decidedly un-grand.

Chapter Three

*You’ve Got Mail*

Keri

W
e
were back to being our Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks’ selves. I was, happy, but something had changed. It was like the fight from home had never stopped, and there was this little or big thing hanging over our heads.

Sex.

Sure, sex was a big thing, and we’d never done it before, but it was there all the time. It was like the Ross and Rachel thing on
Friends
.
When were they going to do it? Were they going to do it? How would it happen?
That sort of thing. I thought about sex all of the time.

All of the time
.

So, yeah, I was 19, horny and about a million miles away from my boyfriend. I was clueless on really all of the ins and outs of sex, but I’d read some romance novels, so I kind of got the gist, and I watched
Fifty Shades of Grey
like a million times.

Christian Grey.

Roarrrr!

Anyway, sex was looming over our heads, and I wanted to talk about it, and I knew that Payton wanted to talk about it, but he was too afraid and so was I, and I felt dumb, and I was pretty sure he felt dumb, too.

I know, teenage problems.

So, we avoided talking about it.

Our emails looked a lot like this:

Hey.

Hey.

What’s up?

Nothing. What’s up with you.

School.

Yeah.

Farm?

Yeah.

Cool.

Cool.

So not cool…

And then, I got a call.

I looked down, saw Payton’s number and pressed the green button. “Hey.”

“Hey,” he said, and then started talking. He was rambling on for quite a while, and it was hard to even catch what all he was talking about, but then he mentioned the words SKYPE, and I NEED YOU, and PLEASE.

About five seconds after the please, I gave him my SKYPE details and we were both logged in and seeing each other.

“Hey,” I said, and smiled softly. Payton looked tired. Super tired. And he was in the tree fort. I could tell because he was in a mountain of sleeping bags, and the little lamp that sat next to the makeshift bed was in the background.

“Hey. God I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too.”

“It’s been a week since I’ve heard your voice.”

“I know,” I said. I dragged my hand through my messy hair and tried to make it look a little better. I’d been laying on my bed, reading through his latest emails when the phone chirped.

“You look fine.”

“You look tired,” I said, and then yawned. “I see you’re in the fort. Are you cold?”

“No. I have the space heater on.”

Believe it or not, the tree fort held the heat in decently. But without that little space heater, he’d have frozen himself silly by now.

“That’s good. What are you doing in there?” I asked.

“I didn’t want to talk in my room. My parents have been checking on me lately.”

I scrunched my nose. “Checking on you, why?”

Payton looked embarrassed. “I… I guess I’ve been slacking around here. I don’t know.”

“Why?” I asked, but knew the answer. It was all my fault.

“Who knows,” Payton said, but he didn’t sound sincere.

“Well I hope you get better,” I said, feeling like a tool bag for even replying. “So, what’s up?”

“I had to see you. I’ve been going nuts,” Payton said. “We…It just doesn’t seem like we’re boyfriend and girlfriend anymore, and we don’t talk on the phone, and I haven’t heard your voice.”

Payton sounded a bit panicked and I couldn’t blame him. I felt just like he did.

My cheeks warmed.

“What?” he asked.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about it.”

Payton’s eyes widened. “Yeah?”

I nodded, biting my lip. “Yeah.”

He let out a deep sigh. “God, me, too. I can’t stop.”

“I know.”

“We can’t see each other for another three weeks.”

“I know, and I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that,” I said, hoping that this was as good a time as any to tell him that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to come home for Christmas.

“What’s up?”

“Well, I’m worried about Mom. She says that it’s okay to use the credit card for a plane ticket home on Christmas, but I don’t feel comfortable doing that. I was just home for Thanksgiving.”

Payton visibly flinched. “What are you saying?”

“Well, I’m going to get a job. I’ve been looking for one, I just haven’t had any call backs yet. I want to pay for my own plane ticket.”

Payton ran his hand through his hair, stopping to look right into my eyes. “Ker, it’s only three weeks away. There’s no way that you’re going to have a job, and be able to pay for a plane ticket in another three weeks.”

I didn’t think so either, but I didn’t want to say it out loud until I was absolutely certain. “I’m going to try my hardest, Pay. I really want to see you, but I don’t want to be a burden to my mother either.”

“I just can’t believe this is happening right now. Why all of a sudden is this important to you?” he sniped. I winced, and then was about to say something, until he apologized for his attitude.

“It isn’t all of a sudden, I felt bad the last time, too, but…”

“But I said something stupid, and shit’s been weird between us,” Payton finished.

I looked at Payton and shook my head. “No, Pay, that’s not it.”

“You sure?” he asked. I could tell that he was barely holding on to his frustrations.

“Yeah, I’m positive. Listen, I’m going to get a job, and I’m going to come home. I just have to figure it out quickly, okay?”

Payton’s jaw twitched and he nodded.

“Now, what were we talking about?” I asked, trying to get back to the sexy topic, but Payton wasn’t having it.

“I don’t know,” Payton said, and then looked to his right. “I have to go. It’s getting pretty late.”

I frowned. It was getting late, but Payton never hung up first. I tried to put on a brave face, but probably ended up looking constipated. “Okay. Talk tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

“SKYPE?”

“Just call my cell,” Payton said. “I have a lot of work I need to make up.”

“Okay,” I agreed. “Love you, Payton.”

Payton looked into my eyes one last time before he pushed the end button. The last thing I saw on the screen were his beautiful sad eyes, and his frustrated face.

Great.

Now all I had to do was get a job, make some money, buy some tickets, and get home all in three weeks’ time for Christmas break.

Not a big deal.

***

The next morning, I went down to the Student Union to look for some job applications. I ended up picking up four. Two restaurants, a library shelver, and a skate place DJ.

After filling out all four of the applications, I grabbed a burger at Woody’s Tavern with Todd and Alexis, and waited and hoped for a few phone calls.

I got one!

“Hi,” I said, hoping I didn’t sound too eager. I didn’t recognize the number, so it had to be something.

“Hello, this is Janice Fletchman from the Columbus Library. How are you?”

I nearly squealed. The library!
You have got to be effing kidding me!
  “I’m well, thank you. And you?”

“Very well,” Janice replied, with an emphasis on the ‘well’. You couldn’t imagine how many people didn’t know the difference between good and well.

“Great,” I said, and waited.

“Well, I have your application in front of me, and I would like to offer you a job. It isn’t glamourous, but it’s money—”

“I’ll take it!” I blurted, scaring Alexis. She had a fry midway up to her mouth and dropped it. Her eyes widened, and she grinned at me.

Todd stood, bless him, and did a little dance.

The librarian, Mrs. Fletchman, laughed. “I’m glad that you’re excited. Can you come in tomorrow?”

“I can come in right now!” I said, enthusiastically.

She laughed again. “Well, I don’t really need you until tomorrow, but thank you for your enthusiasm. Okay, so I’ll have you come in tomorrow around 5 PM. Is that okay?”

“Yes, that works!”

“Great. I will see you then. Just come to the front desk, and ask for me.”

“Will do. Thank you so much, Mrs. Fletchman.”

“You’re very welcome, Ms. Richards.”

I hung up the phone and joined Todd in his dancing. We looked like two morons standing up in Woody’s, dancing like fools. Alexis laughed at the both of us while she finished her fries, and I felt as if a huge weight had come off my shoulders.

I was going to be able to go home for Christmas. The library wasn’t open over break, and I would have some money to help contribute toward the ticket. And not only that, the job was at a library, and it was sort of perfect because I have wanted to be a librarian since I was five years old.

“Look at you, Ms. Employee!” Alexis laughed.

“That’s right!” I cried, and gave the biggest grin possible.

“Let’s celebrate,” Todd said, and put his hand up, signaling the waiter. “We’ll take a round of your finest virgin daiquiris.”

Alexis grinned, and I laughed.  The word “virgin” wrapped around my head and wouldn’t budge. I was still a virgin, and I was 19 years old, and had a boyfriend that might or might not be mad at me.

I pulled out my cell, and waited for the drinks to come to our table.

*Pay, hey guess what?! I got a job!*

 
“That Payton?” Alexis queried with an eyebrow cocked up. I grinned and nodded.

“Yeah.”

“So, everything’s okay then?”

“I think so. He was pretty mad, but we left on good terms.”

“Did you tell him what I told you?”

I nodded. “Yep.”

Alexis held her hand out at Todd and smirked. Todd put five bucks in her palm. I looked at Alexis, confused, and she laughed.

“I bet him that you’d tell him it was my idea for the call, and you’d get back together.”

I laughed. “Only five, huh?”

“Well, genius over here wanted to bet twenty, but I didn’t have it; besides, I didn’t want to see him lose all of his book money.”

“Book money?”

“Comics. DC mostly. Marvel sucks ass,” Todd said, his expression unwavering.

I laughed. “So, you’re a Batman guy?”

“Yep.”

“What about Superman?” I asked, and Alexis rolled her eyes.

“Seriously? You, too?” Alexis said, laughing.

“Hey, I love a good romance.”

“Romance?” Todd asked, clearly flummoxed.

“Yeah, all of the superhero movies have romances mixed in with the action.”

“Yeah, that’s why I love them,” Todd said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

“Well you should. So are you and Alexis going to the Midnight showing of Batman VS. Superman?”

Todd looked at Alexis and she groaned. “Oh, you’d have to bring that up.”

“What?” I asked, laughing.

“Todd and his movies. Yes, we’ll go, but you have to go with us. I’m not sitting through that crap without having a few potty breaks and snacks.”

“Potty breaks? What are you, five?” I asked, smiling.

“You know, the whole girl talk stuff?” Alexis pointed out and laughed. “Todd’s idea of going to the movies is clear and absolute silence. You can’t even chew.”

“I’m not that bad,” Todd said, and then scrunched his nose.

I laughed. Clearly he was. “I hate when people talk during movies, too, Todd. I especially hate when they slurp.” I looked at Alexis, and she giggled.

“We aren’t that bad, Keri,” Alexis said, and then looked up. “Our drinks!”

I looked just as the waitress was placing our non-alcoholic daiquiris onto the pub table. Todd was already grabbing for his and went right for the straw. I put my eyebrow up and then dug into mine.

“Mmm,” I said, savoring the taste of the sweet strawberries. “This is really good.”

“Yeah, they make the best ones here. Can’t wait until we can put a little something into them,” Alexis said and then sighed. “Only a few more years!”

Twenty-one seemed forever away, yet the year was already almost over, and my first semester of college would be done. Crazy how time flew.

“We’ll be juniors then,” I said and grinned. “I can’t wait to get done and out of here.”

“Me, either,” Alexis agreed.

Todd shook his head. “Not me. This is the easy life. My brother, Joe, says the real world sucks.”