The Book of Bastards (25 page)

Irv Lewis “Scooter” Libby graduated from all the right schools, including Yale Law School, and at one time had a distinguished career both in and out of government as one smart lawyer. His involvement in the George W. Bush administration scandal “Plamegate” has cost him both his reputation and his license to practice law. It likely should have cost him more.

Libby has held positions under several Republican presidents. He first joined the U.S. State Department's policy planning staff in 1981 and later served in the Bureau of East Asian and Pacific Affairs. During the first Bush administration, he served as under-secretary of defense for policy. In 2001, he became Vice President Dick Cheney's chief of staff. A dedicated neoconservative, Libby was one of the signatories to the Project for the New American Century's 2000 report that called for increased defense spending.

He was also the only Bush Administration official indicted and convicted in the Plamegate scandal for exposing the identity of CIA counter-proliferations operative Valerie Plame Wilson.

Libby was one of several sources who leaked Plame's status as a covert agent to reporters including conservative columnist Bob Novak of the
Chicago Tribune
and Judith Miller of the
New York Times
. Unlike fellow Bushie Karl Rove and Assistant Secretary of State Richard Armitage though, Libby lied under oath when questioned about Plamegate by federal prosecutors. Convinced of Libby's perjury, U.S. Attorney and Plamegate Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald indicted Libby on several counts of obstruction of justice, perjury, and lying under oath to federal investigators.

This effectively ended Libby's career in public service. He resigned when he was indicted in connection with the scandal. Through the trial, it became clear that Armitage, not Libby, was the primary leaker; Libby only passed Armitage's information along to Novak. Even so, Libby was convicted on charges of perjury, obstruction of justice, and lying to investigators.

Throughout his trial, Libby had requested reams upon reams of classified information and documents. Libby's requests raised suspicion that he may have been employing “graymail” — the threat of revealing national secrets — as part of his defense. The fact that Bush commuted his thirty-month prison sentence only strengthened these rumors.

To Bush's credit, he allowed Libby's conviction to stand, even though he voided the jail term portion of it. Effectively disbarred, Libby has since found it difficult to do the sort of work he did while a member of the D.C. bar. This cost Bush plenty of headaches during his remaining months in office. His vice president (and Libby's former boss) Dick Cheney relentlessly lobbied the president to pardon Libby until their last day in office. Bush adamantly refused to do so.

But hey, at least the little bastard didn't have to actually spend a day in jail.

If ever there was a political hack that got by on his friendships, it's George W. Bush administration's Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. Involved up to his eyeballs in all of the shady goings-on in the Bush White House, the former Texas state Supreme Court judge and White House Counsel is probably best remembered for being at the heart of the spate of politically motivated firings known as “Attorneygate.”

One of the Attorneygate lawyers was John McKay, U.S. Attorney for the Western District of Washington in Seattle. McKay had been a stalwart Republican and loyal to Bush before his dismissal. He had handled the prosecution of the alleged “Millennium Bomber” Ahmed Ressam to great acclaim. There was even talk of a possible nomination to the federal bench.

All that changed when McKay refused to call a grand jury to look into claims of voter fraud connected to Washington's hotly contested 2004 gubernatorial election. Democrat Christine Gregoire had beaten Republican Dino Rossi and won the state by a few hundred votes; the state Republican Party had blown through its court appeals trying to get the results reversed. Bush couldn't seem to do any better with someone loyal to his cause. The “lawyer” nominated to replace McKay was former Congressman Rick White, an evangelical Christian and member of the 1994 “Freshman Class” of House Republicans. The nomination didn't go far. The
Seattle Times
later reported that White had let his law license lapse and was thus not even authorized to practice law in Washington!

Other fired U.S. attorneys had wound up on the “wrong side” of high-profile prosecutions of Republicans. One of them was Carol Lam, the U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of California; she convicted Republican Congressman Randy “Duke” Cunningham of fraud and bribery.

During the investigation that followed Gonzales said it was an “overblown personnel matter.” A Department of Justice Inspector General's report, however, blasted Gonzales and other higher-ups. The report said, “The Department's removal of the U.S. attorneys and the controversy it created severely damaged the credibility of the Department and raised doubts about the integrity of Department [prosecution] decisions.” The report further noted that the Bush administration would not hand over any documents for which the inspector general called. Administration officials believed to be involved in the firings — Karl Rove, Harriet Miers, and others — refused to cooperate with the investigation. Gonzales resigned shortly after the report came out; eight other senior officials at the DOJ followed him.

As of early 2010, Gonzales has been unable to secure employment as a lawyer; his struggle is completely unprecedented for a former U.S. Attorney General. He is currently working as a diversity recruiter at Texas Tech University.

The Bronx-born son of an overachieving real estate titan, Eliot Spitzer had great expectations placed on him from an early age. He was tough-talking and hard-driving, a Princeton-educated yuppie who graduated high in his class at Harvard Law School. Spitzer always seemed to know exactly what he was doing and exactly to whom he was doing it.

After a brief turn in private practice, Spitzer worked for the legendary Robert Morgenthau in the Manhattan District Attorney's office. While an assistant DA, Spitzer pursued organized crime's involvement in Manhattan's garment industry with an innovative application of antitrust laws. He was instrumental in bringing down the Gambino crime family; he went after the trucking industry monopolies that brought them the lion's share of their ill-gotten gains. Spitzer also prosecuted other kinds of racketeering including prostitution rings which, as we shall see later, came back to haunt him.

After another stint in private practice Spitzer ran as a Democrat for New York State Attorney General in 1998. He won a close race over Republican incumbent Dennis Faso.

Campaigning on his successes as attorney general, Spitzer was elected to New York's governorship in 2006. The beginning of his term in office was promising; Spitzer had always been someone who knew how to get things done. He promised to balance the state budget and was initially successful. But within a year the state was once again running a deficit, and Spitzer was openly feuding with members of his own party in the legislature over his high-handedness and their well-known stubbornness.

And all this time Elliot Spitzer had a dark secret. He had a thing for high-priced hookers. On several occasions over the course of a decade — all while serving as attorney general and then as governor — Spitzer went to Washington, D.C., to patronize high-priced call girls from the “Emperors Club VIP Service”; he spent upwards of $80,000 on them. Spitzer resigned the governorship when it was revealed that he was Emperors Club's Client No. 9.

The writer F. Scott Fitzgerald once remarked that there are “no second acts in American lives.” Don't try to tell Spitzer that. After tossing his career in the dumpster over the call-girl scandal, Spitzer is busy working on rebuilding his reputation in anticipation of some sort of “second act.”

Elected to Congress in 1984, Tom DeLay is a born-again Christian who has backed pro-life and anti-evolution causes all the way through his career. He has also fought for pro-business causes; he has supported a bid to repeal the ban on ozone-depleting chlorofluorocarbons and other laws he deemed unduly taxing to business. In the late 1980s, he made a name for himself as one of the main critics of the National Endowment for the Arts, calling for it to be defunded.

DeLay didn't truly gain a prominent place in national politics until 1994. It was then, as House Majority Whip, he acquired the nickname “The Hammer” for his unwavering ability to enforce party control and to exact vengeance on his rivals in both parties.

One of his favorite tactics was to threaten to “primary” — to fund and endorse a primary election challenger — any congressman who voted against a bill he was trying to pass. One of these key votes was the impeachment of U.S. President Bill Clinton. DeLay refused to allow a compromise option during the trial, even though a vote of censure was favored by moderates in both parties.

DeLay did not always see eye to eye with the rest of the Republican leader-ship. He felt that Newt Gingrich was not sufficiently committed to Christian values. DeLay even tried to stage a coup to depose Gingrich from the speakership in 1997.

Still, DeLay was elected House majority leader in 2003. During this time, he backed a bid to gerrymander Texas's Congressional districts to assure a “permanent Republican majority.” Democratic members of Texas's legislature fought back by leaving the state to prevent a vote on the proposal. He was also involved in the “K Street Project,” an effort to sway key lobbying firms to hire Republican activists.

DeLay was forced from office in 2005 when he was indicted on multiple federal and state charges. He was accused of money laundering and violation of campaign finance laws, among other things. He resigned as majority leader upon his indictment and declined to seek reelection in 2006.

In 2009 the “Hammer” appeared on TV's
Dancing with the Stars
. Before leaving the competition citing back problems, DeLay pranced around on stage in a glittering red-white-and-blue sequined American flag costume that would have made Liberace blush.

As for the charges against him, the prosecutor who first brought them has demonstrated a good deal of resolve: “There are particular cases pending that are enormously important to this state, this country, and democracy itself. If they are not resolved during the forthcoming last year of my term I will offer my assistance on those matters on a pro bono basis to my successor.”