Authors: Brock E. Deskins
Garran heaved again despite his stomach having cleared its contents long ago. He and Adam rested in a clearing off the road several miles outside of Betham. Garran released a shuddering groan and lay on his back, panting.
“Are you all right?” Adam asked.
“I’ll live. I just need a drink.”
“What you need is a pair of trousers.” Adam tossed him a pair from his pack. “Try not to crap those. It’s the last pair either of us has.”
“I saved your life—again. I think I’m allowed this one.”
“I suppose you had a good excuse this time.”
“I had a good excuse last time!”
“You had
an
excuse. Its validity is highly contestable.”
“I died, and I still saved your life. Why are you giving me shit?”
“And if our roles were reversed?”
“Fair point. I would have called you Prince Poopy Pants for the rest of your life.”
Adam grinned. “I’m just trying to lighten the mood. You really scared the crap out of me.”
“I’m pretty sure that was all mine.”
“What happened? You were dead, Garran! I checked.”
“It was a little trick I had been thinking about but hoped to never test. I figured that if I could speed up my body, then maybe I could slow it down too.”
“You didn’t know?”
“It’s one of those tricks you don’t want to have to do more than once, but the theory was sound. Once you both left, I was able to speed back up, burn the poison out of my system, mostly, and come after you.”
“Do you think that man was really your father?”
Garran nodded. “I knew it the moment he said the words. It all makes sense.”
“I’m sorry you had to find out about him like this.”
Garran shrugged. “It’s fine. It explains a lot.” Garran turned his head to look at Adam. “I’m sorry my dad murdered your family.”
Adam chuckled and shook his head. “Every time I think this thing we are doing cannot possibly get any more insane…”
“Look on the bright side.”
“What’s that?”
“We aren’t done yet.”
Adam laughed long and hard. “Maybe it turns out that you are really the heir to Urqua!”
“Or maybe the divine vessel set amongst mortals to prevent evil from washing over the land. They would have to canonize me!”
“Saint Garran, patron saint of drunkards and whores! God help us all.”
“It has a good ring to it.”
Adam looked out across the mountains to the north. “What do we do now?”
“We have a long, hard ride ahead of us. The only way we are going to make it is by trading out our horses for fresh mounts whenever we can. That means you are going to have to use your gift to convince whoever we come across to make an even trade.”
“I really hate to do that. It is stealing—worse than stealing!”
“I know, but we don’t have a choice. Despite what I have done and said, I’m glad there are people like you in this world. If there weren’t, no one would ever need, much less want, someone like me.”
“I don’t think you are as bad as you like people to think you are.”
“I think you are forgetting that I still owe you one more punch in the groin.”
“You’re still going to do that?” Adam asked.
Garran smiled and nodded. “Oh yeah, I always collect my due.”
***
Garran and Adam spent the next several days in the saddle, changing out mounts whenever they found a town or farm that had decent riding horses. Adam’s ability usually made the trade relatively simple, but a few owners were contrary enough to make them work for it, often only placated by offering writs of exchange.
Both men were beyond exhausted with sleep coming in brief interludes before saddling up and riding once again. They did not know what kind of condition in which they would find Elroy, so they needed to allow for a slower return trip, assuming they were able to free him.
“Is that a courier station up ahead?” Adam asked as he gazed up the road at the small building and corral.
“Not really. It’s an outpost for the diplomacy corps. While they do provide courier service, it’s just a front.”
“Are you sure this is a good idea? Couldn’t we just bypass it and get fresh horses at the next town?”
“The next town is nearly thirty miles away and across the border of Urqua. Not replacing them now will add almost two days that we cannot spare. Don’t worry; these guys are support staff, not field agents.”
Adam followed in silence despite his nagging doubts. One man stepped out of the small cabin to meet them while two others crowded near the doorway just inside.
The man who came out to intercept them held up a hand. “Ho there, travelers. What brings you out this way?”
Garran slipped off his horse, stretched his legs, and approached the man. “Agent Rupert Ellery,” he said, flashing his agent pin. “I need to swap out these horses.”
The man looked at the pin and studied Garran’s face. “I’m not familiar with any agents by the name of Ellery.”
“Are you familiar with an ass whooping? Because I am tired, saddle sore, and an hour away from being sober. I did not get good mileage off my last couple of bottles. Now, give me the goddam horses…and any booze you can spare.”
The man’s face reddened, but he held his temper in check. “I need to see some credentials.”
“I am obviously undercover. Only an idiot would carry credentials identifying themselves as a field agent!”
“So, you have credentials then?”
“Oh, you’re a quick one. Maybe if you showed this much cleverness at the university you would be a field agent and not shoveling horse crap at the ass-end of nowhere.” Garran turned his head toward Adam. “Are you going to help me here or what?”
“I’m trying, but he is very stubborn!”
“Look, I showed you my pin.”
The man shrugged. “It could be a forgery.”
“Do you know what the penalty is for forging an agent’s pin?”
“Yes, and I know what the penalty is for negligence as well. Without prior knowledge of your arrival, I cannot give you my horses without official documentation.”
“Oh, fine, here!” Garran reached into his vest, pulled out a folded sheet of paper, and thrust it at that waystation officer.
He unfolded the sheet and frowned. “This is a flyer for a new brothel opening in Betham.”
“It’s encoded, obviously! I assume you passed basic encryption at the university. Look closely at the small print near the bottom. It will give you the key to decipher it.”
The man held the paper close to his face. “I don’t see—”
Garran reeled back and punched the man in the face through the paper. Garran was in motion before the agent reached the ground, charging the two men inside the building. One drew his sword while the other raised a crossbow. Garran juked to the side, removing himself from the shooter’s line of sight.
The support agent leaned out of the doorway to try to get a bead on him. Garran hooked the bow with his reaping blade and tore the weapon from the man’s hands. He stepped fully into the doorway, kicked the unarmed agent in the groin, and clouted him on the head with the haft of his weapon.
The second agent barely had time to raise his sword. Garran delivered several debilitating blows with the back of his reaping blades before he could act. The man fell to the floor, moaning in pain until Garran knocked him senseless.
“Swap out the saddles with a pair of fresh horses and tether the others,” Garran ordered.
“Okay. What are we going to do with them?” Adam asked, jutting his chin toward one of the unconscious agents.
“I’ll tie them up, and we’ll take all of the horses with us. If we’re lucky, it will buy us a few days before they can report what happened. By that time, we’ll hopefully have Elroy in our clutches.”
Adam nodded and ran to the stables. Garran tied the men’s hands and feet and gagged them, but not before going through their pockets. He then searched the small cabin and located their stash of booze. Alcohol stronger than beer or ale was tightly regulated in Urqua, and he was not about to cross the border unprepared.
Thanks to the diplomatic papers and credentials King Callum provided, they were able to cross the tightly controlled border without much delay. Even more importantly, they crossed without the border guards searching Garran’s pack and confiscating its intoxicating contents.
While there was little to no physical change in terrain, the forest seemed darker and more foreboding the moment they entered Urqua. It may have been the result of the numerous grey military uniforms coupled with the somber faces of the citizens in their dull clothing. Perhaps the sun simply chose not to shine as brightly over Urqua. Whatever the cause, it left no doubt in Garran and Adam’s mind that they were truly in a foreign land, one that would not tolerate Garran’s usual antics.
“Garran, I hope you are taking this seriously,” Adam said as they rode into Bale.
Bale was the nearest town of any consequence to the border. Its buildings were much like the people, sturdy but drab and depressing to look at.
“Of the two of us, I am the only one who has actually been here. I damn well know how to act.”
“Knowing proper behavior has never prevented you from making an ass out of yourself and jeopardizing our mission.”
“Our mission has thus far been an unmitigated success!”
“Unmitigated? You have mitigated the crap out of it! It has been dumb luck that we have enjoyed the level of success that we have had.”
“Really, just dumb luck?”
Adam bobbed his head from side to side. “Okay, you have shown some surprising amount of skill at times.”
Garran grinned and wiggled in his saddle. “Yeah, especially bed time.”
Adam wisely chose not to continue the conversation as they directed their horses down Bale’s ordered streets. The town was built in a series of square blocks creating perfectly straight roads, each with signposts at every intersection to facilitate an orderly flow of traffic.
It was midday, and Garran chose to stop and enjoy a proper respite before pushing on to Dracofort in the morning. They found an inn whose only defining feature was a sign bearing the image of a bed and a fork.
There were few other patrons, and those who were dining or drinking spoke in moderate voices, unlike the boisterous gathering places of the southern nations. The subdued conversations subsided completely as everyone paused to note the foreigners’ entrance.
“Maybe we should find somewhere else to stay the night,” Adam suggested as he traveled his gaze across the staring faces.
“We’re fine. Urqua doesn’t get many visitors. They’re just curious.”
The patrons resumed their meals and talking as the two travelers picked a table and sat down. A young but buxom serving girl approached.
“What can I get for you gentlemen?” she asked in Urqan.
Adam looked to Garran, not understanding what she said.
“We’ll have whatever the lunch special is,” Garran answered in flawless Urquan.
“What are you getting?” Adam asked.
“I’m getting us lunch. What do you think I’m getting?” Garran looked up at the serving girl and winked. “But I might get me some dessert too if I’m lucky.”
“Garran, please.”
“Beg all you want. You had your chance.”
“You are both from Anatolia?” the girl asked with a heavy accent.
“Oh, you speak Anatolian,” Garran said.
“Many Urquans speak Anatolian as well as Opatian. I have cousins in Artemisia and learned from them when I visited.”
“I apologize for my friend’s boorish behavior,” Adam said.
“It is no problem. Even in Urqua, men still sometimes behave like pigs. A girl must get used to it in this job.”
Adam peered closer at her face. “You look familiar. Have you ever been to Anatolia?”
“No, but I have heard it is lovely. Perhaps one day I can get another travel permit and visit. What would you like to drink?”
“Water,” Adam answered.
“Beer if you have it,” Garran said.
“Garran, please limit yourself.”
“You do enough limiting for the both of us. I’m a grown man, and you’re not my mother.”
“You are a disgusting drunk who does not understand boundaries.”
“Well, you certainly sound like my mother.”
“I’ll be right back with your order,” the girl said and left the men to their bickering.
“Seriously, Garran, don’t make a scene.”
“I am not going to make a scene.”
“You always make a scene!”
“Quiet down, you’re making a scene.”
Adam looked around and found several eyes on him. “You know what I’m talking about,” he whispered. “Just behave yourself and don’t drink too much.”
Garran scowled. “I will let you know when I have had too much to drink.”
“Would you like to prearrange a signal, or will you just stick with the usual lying naked in your own waste?”
“Shut up.”
The serving girl returned with two plates balanced on her arms and a mug gripped in each hand. She set the mugs on the table and placed the plates before the two diners.
“Is there anything else you need?”
Garran grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her toward him. “Yeah, about that dessert…”
“Leave her alone, Garran. She’s practically a child.”
“She’s a bit narrow in the hips, but her other bits are full blown woman, aren’t they, honey?”
“Sir, please let go,” she beseeched.
“Come on; give me a peek at what gifts you’re hiding under that ugly wrapping.”
“Garran, stop!”
The girl’s voice dropped an octave as she wrenched her arm free. “I said let go!”
All three of them stopped and stared at the apple that popped out of the bustier beneath her grey dress and dropped onto the floor with a dull thud.
“Excuse me, miss,” Garran said tonelessly, “but I believe one of your tits just rolled beneath the table.”
Adam bolted to his feet, grabbed her left wrist, and tore the wig off her head. “Liam, is that you? It’s me, Adam!”
“Damn it to hell!” Liam cursed.
His leg came up and delivered a swift kick to Adam’s groin. Adam lost his hold and dropped to the floor with a plaintive mewling. Liam hitched up the folds of his cumbersome dress and sprinted toward the door.
“Garran, that’s my cousin, Liam. Don’t let him get away!”
Garran ran after the fleeing youth while Adam tried to collect himself. The agent burst through the door and spotted the boy just as he disappeared around the corner of a building. Garran lowered his head and ran, rounded the corner, and caught sight of Liam a hundred yards ahead.
“Stop, kid, you can’t outrun me!” Garran shouted.
Liam let loose of his dress long enough to flash Garran a rude gesture over his shoulder. Garran transcended and devoured the space between them in seconds. He grabbed Liam’s arm above the elbow, jerked him to a halt, and spun him around.
“Got ya, you little rat!”
Liam’s leg, hidden beneath his dress, flashed up and caught Garran in the crotch. Garran’s knees buckled and he bent forward. Liam delivered a swift punch to his throat and ran off once again. He raced through the streets, dodging people and the odd looks they directed his way. He slowed to a brisk walk several blocks from where he had left the vagrant, or so he assumed, gasping for air and tried to catch his breath.
Adam stepped into his path, his arms held out before him. “Liam, please don’t run. It’s me Adam.”
“I know it’s you! I knew it was you the moment I served you, and now everyone knows it’s you, and worse yet, everyone knows it’s me!”
“I don’t understand. What are you doing here dressed like a girl?”
“Hiding, you idiot, and I was doing a rather good job of it until you showed up and opened your big mouth!”
“I…I’m sorry. I was just surprised to find you. Everyone thinks you are dead.”
Liam’s shoulders slumped and he glanced around. “Yeah, that was working to my advantage until now.”
“Your house burned down. They found your body along with…your parents.”
“I do not know who they found, but it wasn’t me. I was not in the house that night. I had snuck out to meet a girl. When I saw the flames, I ran back and saw a man walking away from the fire. I knew he had started it and would kill me if he saw me, so I hid. When I thought about all the people in our family who had died, I knew I had to get far away. I figured no one would look for me in Urqua, and since I spoke the language, I made my way here.”
“Liam, that fire happened almost three years ago. What were you, ten years old?”
“Eleven. I ran with a street gang here in Urqua for a while, but when I heard about Uncle Remiel, Aunt Damodara, and Marcus’ death, I got paranoid again and took some extreme measures. I knew that with them gone, if anything happened to you and Evelyn, I was next in line for succession, and The Guild would stop at nothing to kill me if they even heard a hint that I was alive.”
“I’m sorry I screwed that up for you, but you cannot stay here now. You need to come with us. Garran can keep you safe.”
“The guy you were with who smells like a beggar’s balls?”
“Yeah…he’s more than he appears.”
“He’d have to be a lot more than he appears.”
“He is. He’s an agent, and a pretty good one despite his…peculiarities. Don’t tell him I said that. It’s important to keep his ego in check. Come on, we need to get off the street and—”
Garran rounded the corner shouting an incoherent cry, sprinted at Garran and Liam, and kicked the boy in groin hard enough to lift him from the ground.
“Gotcha, you little prick!” Garran crowed, his eyes wild and gleeful.
Liam lay huddled on the ground and moaned, “I think one of my testicles retracted.”
Garran grinned down at him. “Go ahead and get your shot in, Adam. We wouldn’t want it to get lonely up there by itself.”
“Garran, I had him!” Adam exclaimed. “Why did you kick him?”
“Because he kicked me in the balls.”
“He kicked me too, but I don’t feel the need to return it!”
“Yeah, but I use mine for something other than ballast.”
“You are impossible. Help me get him up so we can get out of here. We have already drawn way too much attention to ourselves.”
“Well whose fault is that?” Garran demanded.
“Yours!”
“How is it my fault?”
“You had to make a scene at the inn and scare Liam into running.”
“What was I supposed to do, just let some bender in a dress serve us food and say ‘oh, that’s okay’? Because it’s not!”
“I’m not a bender, you ass,” Liam groaned as he fought to get to his feet.
“Then why were you in a dress?”
“I was hiding.”
“Poorly.”
“He was doing his best,” Adam defended, “and you were in a dress just a couple of weeks ago.”
“Only because…that’s different!”
“Why was he in a dress,” Liam asked.
“Because shut up, that’s why.”
“He crapped himself,” Adam answered.
“I was poisoned and almost died!”
“It wasn’t the first time.”
“That he was poisoned?” Liam asked.
“That he crapped himself.”
“Both of you shut up!”
Adam said, “I still think you need to come with us.”
Liam nodded and sighed. “I definitely can’t stay here. The Guild might not have a foothold in Urqua yet, but they have eyes everywhere.”
“None of us can stay here,” Garran clarified. “You made quite a scene back there.”
“How is this my fault? You’re the one who started groping me!”
“Please. You didn’t have me fooled for a second. I am an expert on breasts. It takes more than a stuffed bra to fool me—more than twice.”
“As if it would have mattered.”
“I said I was an expert, not particular. Do you still own a pair of trousers?”
“Of course I do.”
“Adam, take him back to wherever he is staying and pack a bag. I’ll go get our horses and meet you at the north end of town. It’s probably best to get out of here as quickly as we can.”
Liam led Adam to the small room he rented above a junk peddler’s store. He changed into suitable clothes and packed a few belongings. They found Garran just inside the gates opening to the north.
“I was kind of hoping you would stay in that dress,” Garran said to Liam as they approached.
“I was kind of hoping you would bathe,” Liam retorted. “I guess we’re both disappointed. Of course, I’m sure you are accustomed to disappointing people—especially those in dresses.”
Garran scowled, looked pointedly at Liam, and took a large bite out of an apple before spurring his mount through the gates. Adam and Liam mounted up and guided their horses to follow Garran.
Adam said, “I know it is going to be difficult, but try to get along with Garran. He’s the best and possibly only chance we have to put an end to The Guild’s machinations.”