“Ja, mein Herr”
“Good. Thank you, Gunda. You are dismissed. ” “Jawohl. ” As she turned away from Crandall, her solemn expression broke into a sunshine grin. Her sly wink was for Devon’s eyes only and conveyed more deftly than words that the two of them were going to get along just fine. After Gunda left, a cold silence settled over the room. Devon picked up his suitcase, eyeing the stairs and longing for the solitude of his bedroom.
“Can I go now? “
“No. ” Crandall clasped his hands behind his back and stared sternly over his son’s head. “There are some things we, uh, need to discuss. ” ‘ Devon’s heart sank. He ducked his head and studied his sneakers. “I realize that the past weeks have been difficult for you, ” Crandall said. “I wish things had turned out differently, of course, but there’s nothing to be done about that now. Hopefully, you have learned something from this unfortunate experience. ” He absently glanced at his watch, a habitual gesture that never failed to make Devon feel as though he were keeping his father from something that was really important. Like making money. “Unfortunately, we’ll have to continue this discussion in a couple of weeks.
My plane leaves in two hours. “
Devon’s head snapped up. “Where are you going? “
Annoyed by the sharp question, Crandall spoke with exaggerated civility.
“Back to Europe, of course. Since this trip was arranged without proper notice, I wasn’t able to clear my calendar. There are some things that must be attended to before I can schedule another visit. ” A cold pit of fury opened up in Devon’s skinny chest. “Don’t bother!” he shouted as hot tears filled his eyes. “I didn’t ask you to come back in the first place! I don’t need you! I don’t need anybody!” Dropping the suitcase, he spun around and stumbled up the stairs. Crandall hadn’t followed. It had been eight months before the Monroe men had seen each other again. Twenty years later Devon stood in his father’s hospital room watching the past collide with the present. It was ironic that although their roles had now been reversed, the same hurtful words concealed the same pain and fear of rejection Back then, Devon had needed his father and needed him desperately, just as Crandall now needed his son. This time, the cry for help would not go unanswered. Glancing over his shoulder, Devon saw the older man staring out the window with a feigned stoicism so like his own that it took his breath away. He swallowed hard, then ambled casually across the room, dropped his jacket on the foot of the bed and swung the extension table across his father’s lap. Crandall’s head remained immobile but his dark gaze followed his son’s every move.
Devon picked up the cards from the floor and sat down. “Gin or canasta?
Crandall’s eyes narrowed. “Gin. ” Devon shook the cards from the box and shuffled them. “I should warn you that I’ll cheat to win. ” ‘ “Of course you will. You’re my son. ” Crandall smiled. “Now shut up and deal. ” Jessica opened the hospital room door and jolted to a stop, unable to believe the sight that greeted her. Devon was hunched in his chair scrawling on some kind of pad while Crandall, with his reading glasses set low on his nose, shuffled like a Las Vegas cardsharper. Originally Jessica had brought the deck to Crandall’s room because he’d been having trouble sleeping and she’d thought solitaire might be a relaxing diversion. At the time he’d seemed irked by the gesture, insisting that games of any kind were a stupid waste of time. Now, however, he was so engrossed that he hadn’t even noticed her presence. The entire scene was so alien, so unlike her stodgy, no-nonsense boss that Jessica wouldn’t have been more shocked to catch him doing the wild thing with a night nurse. Crandall squared the deck and smirked at his son. “That last hand put me so far out of reach, you might as well haul up the white flag. “
Concentrating on his calculations, Devon’s only response was a muttered,
“We’ll see. ” After a moment, he uttered a crow of pleasure and wielded the pencil like a triumphant wand. “You’re still five points down. ” “What? ” Crandall dropped the cards and whipped off his glasses. “Let me see those figures. ” Grinning happily, Devon handed over the score sheet. “Read it and weep, Dad. Youth conquers all. ” ‘ As Crandall irritably snatched the scratch pad, Jessica cleared her throat.
The men looked up simultaneously with matching expressions of surprise.
Jessica could barely suppress a smile. “Am I interrupting ?”
“No, of course not. ” Devon stood, offering his chair.
“Thank you. ” She sat gracefully, back straight, ankles primly crossed, in the socially acceptable manner that she’d been taught since childhood. She laid her pocketbook on the nightstand and scrutinized Crandall’s pained expression. ” The last time I saw that look on your face, a competitor had just undercut us on a million-dollar contract. ” Ignoring the comment, Crandall woefully studied Devon’s neatly penciled figures. “Do you have a calculator in your purse? “
“No, I’m sorry. “
A sly chuckle emanated from above her right shoulder. “For some odd reason, Dad seems to think that I’m not above cheating to win. ” ‘ Crandall’s thin lips twitched in a reluctant smile. “Damn right. ” He tossed the scratch pad on the table eyes gleaming with pride as he regarded his son. “I expect a rematch”
“Great. I’ll see you this evening. “
When Devon reached for his jacket, Jessica blurted, ” “You don’t have to leave. ” The words rushed out in such panic that she blushed to her roots.
“That is, I didn’t mean to chase you away. “
“You didn’t. ” He smiled pleasantly. ” By the way, where’s the file? ” “File? What file? ” be von angled a narrowed smile at his red-faced father.
“That’s what I thought. “
Jessica glanced from Crandall, who was suddenly besieged by a coughing fit, back to Devon. “
“Is this some kind of private joke or am I just dense? “
“Let’s just say the subject came up during a discussion of how hard you’ve been working ” Devon slid his father a wry look. “Does she at least have Sundays off? ” A pink flush crept along Crandall’s ears. “Jessica knows that she can take time off any time she wants. ” “Good. ” With a flick of his wrist, he flipped the jacket over his shoulder.
“So, Jessica, do you like the desert? “
“The desert? ” she repeated dumbly. “You mean cactus and sagebrush, that kind of thing? ” “No cactus. The place I’m thinking of is more chaparral and button willows Quite nice, actually. Fresh air, sunshine , no telephones.
You’ll enjoy it.
I’ll bring lunch. “
She blinked in confusion. “
“Was there an invitation buried inside that glowing testimonial? ” “As a matter of fact, there was. ” His heels scuffed together and he bent in a mock bow. “Would madam care to join this unworthy knave for an exhilarating day of exploring nature? “
“Yes, actually. Madam would. ” Had she really said that?
His grin widened. “I’ll pick you up at seven a.m.,” he said, then touched two fingers to his forehead and disappeared out the door. Jessica was still trying to figure out why on earth she’d agreed to such a thing when rustling bedclothes captured her attention. Crandall swiveled the extension table away from his lap. “Do you think that was wise, Jessica? ” She sighed. “Probably not, but I haven’t been anywhere in so long I’m going stir-crazy. Besides, it sounds like fun. ” His brows wrinkled in that paternal frown that she both despised and adored.
“You must be careful not to exert yourself. “
“I will. ” “It might be prudent to inform Devon of your illness so he’d be better prepared to-” “No!” Frustrated, Jessica pushed back the chair and stood. “We’ve discussed this before, Crandall. I’m not a pathetic, fragile creature and I won’t have people treating me as though I am. “
“I’m sure that won’t happen. “
“Oh, right. ” She issued a dry laugh. “And I didn’t have five hysterical messages on my machine this morning because I wasn’t available to answer the phone. “
He had the grace to look embarrassed. “Perhaps I overreacted”
“A tad. “
“I was concerned about you. “
Jessica heaved a conflicted sigh. “I know. You’re a dear, dear friend and I appreciate your concern. ” That was true enough although Crandall’s frequent “overreaction” had convinced her just how vital it was to maintain secrecy throughout the arduous course of recovery. After all, Jessica had a lot of friends. If she’d told everyone and even half of them mimicked her boss’s smothering protectiveness, she’d have been a complete basket case. As it was, she regretted telling Crandall, although ethically she’d had no other choice. Since Jessica held a key position in the company, Crandall had the right to understand her situation in order to make informed decisions about reassigning her duties. Or terminating her entirely. Despite horror stories of employers who’d fired ill workers , Jessica hadn’t seriously believed that Crandall would ever do such a thing. She had, however, feared a job shuffle in which she might be given a less demanding assignment ; but that hadn’t happened. Crandall had been unfailingly supportive. She loved him for that, even if his constant fretting about her health drove her crazy. Crandall spoke suddenly. “There are so many people who care about you, Jessica, people who need the opportunity to support you through this difficult period with their good wishes and friendship. “
“I have support, ” she insisted. “I have my family and I have you.
Frankly, that’s about all the support I can handle” Sighing, she sat on the edge of the mattress. The past six months had been a grueling ordeal, emotionally as well as physically. There had been so many lies, beginning with a fabricated European vacation story used to conceal her ten week recuperation period.
The deception was taking its toll but the alternative would be worse.
Jessica feared that if her friends and co-workers found out about her illness, they might treat her differently She couldn’t bear the thought of being clucked over or babied or, God forbid, pitied. It was just easier to keep the whole maudlin mess under wraps, at least for a while. Crandall cleared his throat. “You realize, of course, that being ill is nothing to be ashamed of. ” The unexpected statement jolted her to the core. “I’m not ashamed, I’m angry. In fact, I’m mad as hell that my body had been invaded by something I can’t even see. This thing has violated me. It’s taken away my peace of mind. I don’t feel safe anymore. I feel vulnerable and that makes me angry!”
“Jessica, please… you mustn’t upset yourself. “
She massaged her forehead and returned to the chair. “I’m sorry. Sometimes I just need to give the old soapbox a workout. But things aren’t that bleak anymore. I’m getting stronger every day and in a couple of months I should be completely back to normal. ” Another lie, of course. She’d never be normal again but at least she was alive and the chances of her staying that way were increasing by the day. ” “When this is over-really over-I’ll have no problem discussing what has happened. I might even give speeches to other people who are facing the same kind of surgery. Until then, I hope you’ll continue to respect my wishes and my privacy. “
“You know that I will. ” ‘ She gave his hand a grateful squeeze. “
“You’re such a fine man. ” ‘ He glanced away, seeming less embarrassed than thoughtful. “I doubt my son would agree with you. ” ‘ “Now, that’s not true. I know you’ve had problems in the past but you seem to be working them out. When I came in, the two of you were relating like old chums. ” “A few moments out of a lifetime. ” He stared silently across the room for a moment. “We had another argument this morning. ” Jessica’s heart sank. “People quarrel all the time. The important thing is that you obviously got through it. ” Tiredly massaging his eyelids, Crandall shook away her optimism. “We simply put it aside. The wounds are still there, as deep and raw as they ever were. ” Touched by the poignant confession, she chanced the question that had always been off-limits. “Does this have anything to do with what happened two years ago? ” “I suppose it does, although our relationship has been strained for so long that I can’t even remember a time when we were close. ” A sad smile curved one corner of his mouth. “I always considered parenting to be a distraction, an interruption in my life. Apparently my son now shares similar feelings about the expected duties of an offspring. ” ‘ She wanted to dispute that but simply didn’t know enough about Devon’s relationship with his father to do so. In fact she didn’t know much about Crandall’s personal feelings, either. He’d always shielded his emotions with brusque detachment , so his current candor was doubly surprising.
And his next statement was astounding. “
“I tried to have Devon fired, you know. “
All she could do was stare, certain that she’d misheard.
Folding his arms, Crandall gazed blankly across the room and spoke to the air. ” “When he came home two years ago, I hardly recognized him. Or rather, what was left of him. Of course, I understood that all young men crave adventure. That’s why I allowed him to have his foolish fling with this journalism business. But enough was enough, can’t you see? It was time for him to come home and do the work that was his destiny. “
A tingle of shock slid down her spine. “What work was that? “
The question seemed to stun him. “The company, of course. I spent my entire life building an empire for my son. I couldn’t allow him to throw all that away. You understand that, don’t you? “
She closed her eyes and took a shaky breath. “What did you do, Crandall?
“There was a moment of silence before he told her. She moaned, shaking her head in disbelief. No wonder Devon had been so furious.
“Do you think I was wrong? ” Crandall asked.
“Yes. ” “Then what should I have done? Surely you understand that I couldn’t sit back and watch my son commit suicide. ” Jessica felt like she had a stomach full of lead. She’d always believed Devon to be an irresponsible thrill seeker; now she wondered if he considered life on the edge of danger to be an act of defiance or an escape from perceived tyranny. In either case, she’d misjudged both father and son. The precipice between them was wider than she’d feared and deeper than she ever could have imagined. Now she wasn’t certain there was anything that could bridge that gap of mistrust and betrayal. That made her very sad. Devon’s fingers flexed over the telephone in his father’s library. He withdrew his hand, wiped his palm on his jeans and stretched out on the tufted burgundy leather couch. This had always been Devon’s favorite room, a secluded enclave walled with row upon row of richly bound books. This place, smelling of ripe leather and the wisdom of ages, was where young Devon’s imagination had once soared to faraway places, to endless adventure. No matter how broken his spirit had been, this room had always made him whole. Now he closed his eyes and breathed deeply, absorbing residual vibrations of happier times. A drowsy warmth radiated from his solar plexus, a peaceful courage that finally made its lazy way to his limbs.