For
some reason I imagined someone as mysterious and intriguing as Cole to live
somewhere different. I can see him in a luxurious apartment with a spectacular
view which overlooks the city or even an abandoned warehouse… anything other
than this. It’s far too ordinary for him and I just know that he will feel the
same way about this house that I do about my own.
“Come
on in.”
He’s
already let himself in and is standing in the hallway, waiting for me. I hurry
up the front door steps and join him, nervously taking a glance around my new
surroundings.
“How
long have you been living here?” I ask, taking in my surroundings.
“Just
a few weeks. We moved in here right before school started.” He replies, helping
me to remove my jacket.
“Where
were you studying before that?”
“Somewhere
down south, in London.”
“Wow,
I’ve never been there but I’ve always wanted to go.” I say, watching him hang
my jacket up on the coat peg behind him.
“I’ll
take you some time but for now, come here.” He growls, circling his arms around
my small waist.
“Why?”
I whisper, breathing heavily.
“I
need a hug.”
I
smile and go to him, relishing in his warm embrace and how good it feels to be
safe in his arms. I now realise how foolish I was to doubt him, I should have
trusted my instincts and not listened to the niggling doubts inside my head.
“You
don’t realise how much I needed that hug as well.” I mumble softly. “I’ve had
the worst day.”
Cole
reluctantly releases his hold on me, watching me intently.
“We
really need to talk about that, Serena.”
“Why?”
“Because
I need to know what each and every single person said to you today. I’m not
going to let anyone get away with this, believe me when I say that.”
I
do
believe him and that’s what scares me. It’s terrifying to know that
Cole might hurt someone because of me, regardless of whether or not they upset
me.
“It
really doesn’t matter anymore.” I tell him. “I just want to put it all behind
me and forget about it.”
“I
need to know.” He argues, placing his strong hands on my shoulders. “I need to
know so I can do something about it.”
“How
can you when you won’t even be at school for the next two weeks? It’s not like
you’re going to be there to protect me.”
“Believe
me, I’ll be watching. If anyone so much as glowers at you, I’ll know about it.”
He states boldly, absolutely certain.
“But
how can you?” I ask, gazing up at him in confusion.
“Just
trust me, Serena. That’s all I ask of you. Tomorrow will be different for you,
I promise.”
There’s
a prolonged moment of silence between us before I decide to let this go. It’s
clear that Cole isn’t going to reveal anything right now so I might as well
bide my time and wait until he wants to give me the answers I need.
“I
guess your mum isn’t home after all.” I say, eager to change the subject.
“I
knew she wouldn’t be.” He responds sourly, his expression turning dark. “Come
on, I’ll show you my room.”
“Y-your
bedroom?” I stammer, eyeing him warily as he starts to make his way up the
stairs.
“You
don’t want to see it?”
“I
do but…”
“But
what? Come on up.” He encourages me, turning around to face me when he reaches
the top.
I
moisten my lips and take a deep breath, mentally preparing myself to follow
him. I’ve never even been inside a guy’s bedroom before and the whole idea is
enough to make my entire body tremble with trepidation.
His
room turns out to be somewhat different to what I expected. There’s nothing
wrong with it, it’s just… unremarkable and minimalistic. The colour scheme is
grey, with a double bed in the centre of the bedroom and an average-sized TV
opposite. He has a chest of draws by his bed and a couple of posters on the
wall of the latest car models I guess he must admire.
I
step into his room with caution, wondering if I should take a seat on the bed
or stand by the doorway.
“Take
a seat.” He instructs me, placing his large hand on my lower back.
I
do as he asks and clasp my hands together in my lap.
“So…
this is your bedroom.” I mumble quietly, feeling awkward and overwhelmed by the
unfamiliar situation I’ve come to find myself in.
“Yeah,
this is it. I know it’s not much but I really don’t spend a lot of time in
here.”
“Really?”
I prompt him, raising my eyebrows at him. “Where do you spend the majority of
your time? With Louise?”
I
long to take back my bitchy remark as soon as I said it, cursing myself for
sounding so petty and jealous when I don’t have the right to.
“Serena,
you have every right to be angry with me.”
He
walks over towards his bed where I’m sitting and crouches down in front of me.
“It’s
none of my business. I shouldn’t have said anything.” I tell him, focusing my
gaze onto the floor beneath me.
“It
is
your business.” He argues, forcing me to make eye contact with him by
tilting my chin up towards him. “It’s not hard to figure out who told you about
it. It was Louise, wasn’t it?”
“Yes”
I admit, fighting against the memory of her cornering me in the girl’s
bathroom. “I suppose I can’t really blame her, not after what you told me
about… about saying my name.”
“That
still doesn’t give her the right to say anything to you, let alone touch you. Believe
me, she will not go
anywhere
near you from now and I won’t go anywhere
near her after I’ve finished warning her to keep away from you.” He promises,
imploring me with his eyes to believe him.
“Please
don’t threaten her.” I beg him, uncomfortable with the idea of anyone being
intimidated by Cole because of me.
“I’m
not in the habit of threatening women.” Cole assures me, smiling warmly. “I
just want to make sure that she knows where you and I stand. I don’t want her
to bother you again.”
“What
do you mean when you say where you and I stand?” I enquire nervously, tucking a
stray strand of my hair behind my ear.
“I
still mean everything I said to you last night, Serena. I want us to be
together and I now realise it’s the only way I’m going to find any peace. These
last few weeks have been absolute hell for me and I simply don’t have the strength
to keep away from you anymore.”
My
mouth falls open in shock and amazement. It still astonishes me that I actually
have someone like Cole who is prepared to lay down his feelings for me like
this. His level of openness and honesty is enough to confound me completely,
leaving me bewildered and unsure about everything.
“Cole,
I-I’ve never even been in a relationship before. I’ve never met anyone like you
or experienced anything like this until now. I… I need time to think and time
to adjust to everything. I’m used to being invisible at school and today I had
to cope with being noticed and recognised, I was the centre of attention and I
despised every single second of it. If you and I enter into a relationship, can
you just imagine how unbearable it would be? Everyone would have an opinion
about us and I just don’t think that I would be able to deal with the amount of
criticism and judgement that’s bound to follow. I’ve been victimised and ridiculed
for a year now and I just want to spend my final year at school in peace. I
want to fade into the background and get on with my life. Being with you will
only encourage them, Cole. The girls at school already hate me, they’re going
to despise me even more if I’m your girlfriend.”
He
tries to interrupt me, remaining crouched down before me on his knees. I shake
my head, pleading with him to stay silent.
“Serena,
I-”
“Please,
Cole. Just try and understand what I’m saying.”
“I
do understand, baby. I really do, it’s just that I don’t know how much longer I
can carry on like this. I’ve tried to blot it out, I’ve tried to make my
feelings for you go away but nothing works. I’ve been drinking far too much,
sleeping around, fighting, skipping school and ignoring you. Nothing has helped
and I don’t know what to do anymore. Help me, Serena. Please. I’m begging you
to give me a chance, just one chance to make you happy. I swear to you I can do
it.”
He
takes hold of my hands and pulls me up onto my feet, pulling my body against
his until my chest is pressed tightly against his. His breathing is erratic and
it’s as though his brown eyes can see right through me, right into the depths
of my soul.
“If
we… if I say yes.” I whisper, wetting my lips once more before I continue.
“Will you be faithful to me? Will you continue to go to parties and be with
other girls as well as asking them to sit on your lap in the cafeteria? Because
I won’t accept that if that’s how it’s going to be, Cole. I’m not an idiot.”
The
thought of Cole being my boyfriend and carrying on with his old lifestyle is
enough to make me feel sick. I’ve never been cheated on before and I hope to
God that I never will be. I already know my heart would break into a thousand
pieces if he were to betray me with someone else. Infidelity is something I
refuse to tolerate and I need Cole to be aware of this before I agree to becoming
involved with him at all.
“Serena…”
He sighs wearily, lowering his head. “Do you not understand the depth of my
feelings for you? Do you not understand how much torment I’ve been in over
these past few weeks? I’ve been trying to convince myself to stay away and it
isn’t fucking working. I just can’t do it anymore… please don’t ask me to.” He
lifts his gaze once more, searching my eyes for answers, silently pleading with
me to believe him and give him this once chance.
I
watch him closely, realising that I no longer have the strength or the
determination to stay away from him much longer. Whatever it is that exists
between us, I know I owe it to myself to find out what it is.
“Ok.”
I finally acquiesce, fighting the unshakeable urge I have to retract what I
just said.
“Y-you
mean it?” He stammers, staring up at me in absolute astonishment.
“I
mean it.” I say firmly, making sure I maintain my confident expression. “I
don’t know what we could be or if we can be anything at all but I’m willing to
give it a try. I need to know.”
“Aw,
baby. Come here.”
He
jumps up onto his feet and picks me up, spinning me around until I feel dizzy.
“Cole,
put me down!” I squeal, laughing happily.
“I’m
sorry, I guess I just got a little carried away.” He apologises, gently placing
me back down onto my feet. “You really mean it though, don’t you? You’re going
to give us a chance? All I need is one chance, baby. One shot at making you
happy. I know I can do it.”
“Let’s
just start slowly.” I remind him, placing one of my hands on his chest. “I
really don’t want to rush into anything.”
“I
know you don’t and that’s why I’m fine with taking things nice and steady. I
won’t pressurise you, Serena. I’m not going to force you into anything you’re
not ready for. We’re going to take things at your own pace, ok? I swear it.” He
assures me, stroking the length of my jawline with his fingers.
He
speaks with certainty and I know he means every word of it. For this, I am
grateful and for one crazy, stupid second, I actually start to rethink the
request I just made about taking things slowly.
“I
believe you, Cole. I really do.”
“You
know what this means now, don’t you? This means that you’re mine. You belong to
me.” He groans, circling his arms around me so he can pull me close.
“I
don’t belong to anyone, I’m still my own person, Cole. It just means that I’m
prepared to admit that I have feelings for you and I’m curious when it comes to
seeing what might happen between us.”
“You’re
still mine.” He growls possessively, pushing me back against the wall behind
me. “And there are a few things I want to make clear before you walk out of
here.”
“Like
what?” I ask, fighting against my incredible arousal that’s building up inside
of me.
His
chest is pressed up against mine as his large hand tugs on my hair gently,
forcing me to look up at him. I can feel his heart beat thumping wildly, a
clear sign that he’s also affected by our close proximity. His smouldering
brown eyes burn a hole right through me, increasing the indescribable magnetic
pull I feel towards him.
“I
need you to know that you are to go nowhere near another guy now that you’re
with me and no guy is allowed to go anywhere near you. If someone does, I need
you to tell me about it right away and if someone so much as looks at you, I
want to know about it. You belong to me and I will not tolerate any son of a
bitch thinking he can come between that. As for me, I swear to God I’ll be
faithful to you, Serena. I’m not interested in anyone else but you.”