Authors: Barb Han
“Absolute,” he said without hesitation. “But I have to admit that it worries me you would ask. What are you getting yourself into?”
She wasn't sure how Dylan would react to her trying to find Ryan's mother, especially without his permission. She wouldn't be doing it at all if she didn't think he needed to know. In her heart, she knew that in order for Ryan to heal, to be able to move on with his life and really trust people, he needed this. Ryan deserved that.
There were those in town who'd felt sorry for Mr. Hunt, saying that a wife should never abandon her family. But when Lisa's dad had been hitting the bottle a little too hard once, he let it slip that she'd had no choice but to leave.
Others whispered about it for years and Lisa had always thought there'd been more to the story. Plus, she'd had no idea what her father meant and it was obvious that he knew something. Others must know something, too.
A new scandal had broken and people had shifted their attention to the financial crisis Brody's mother had put families in when she'd taken their investment money and disappeared.
Dylan ended the call and clasped his hands. “You know I'll do anything to help you. Professionally, I have a policy against accepting a job blindly. You're going to have to tell me who this case is about if you want my help.”
“That's fair. However, if you decide not to take it then I need your word you won't tell anyone I asked.” Turnabout was fair play.
“Agreed.”
“I'm looking for Ryan's mother.” There. She'd said it. She'd dropped the bomb.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” he asked, concern in his voice.
And that concern had her thinking twice.
“I've considered every angle. If I tell him and he wants to find her but something's happened, then he'll be devastated,” she hedged.
“I can see that,” Dylan agreed.
“Then there's the very real possibility that she doesn't want to be found. How can I get him all jazzed up about locating her only to let him suffer rejection again?”
“Which makes me think that he should be the one heading this search. If he doesn't want to find her, case closed.”
“Only it's not that simple,” she countered.
“I can see where you're coming from and it's a good place. In your heart, you want to give him this gift. But my experience has been that people who don't want to be found really don't want to be found,” Dylan explained.
“And I get that. It's a risk. I'm willing to gamble if I'm the only one who'll know. Then I can help guide him in the right direction if he brings it up again.”
“I can see that you care about him and you're coming from a good placeâ”
“We all do,” she quickly added. She didn't want her cheeks to flush with embarrassment, but they did.
“Right. So I think we have to support his decision not to look for her. He's a grown man and you might end up doing more damage than you think by acting on his behalf,” Dylan warned.
She slumped in her chair, feeling that this was hopeless. “Then you're not going to help me.”
“I didn't say that.”
“I've gone over this a thousand times in my head, believe me. But I know Ryan. It would do him so much good to put this behind him. But he's too stubborn to make the first move.”
“That's the truth,” Dylan agreed with a smile.
“Maybe we won't find her and he'll go to his grave never knowing the truth. I think there's more to the story of her leaving, and if we can find her maybe she can finally tell her side.”
“I see the hope in your eyes when you talk about this, but believe me, not all stories have a happy ending. Look at mine,” he said.
“And that's why I thought you'd understand. Do you want to see your parents? Wouldn't you like to hear from them one way or the other as to why they never came back?”
“I can tell you whyâthey were selfish.”
“Maybe so. Have you considered other possibilities?”
“Like?” He opened his hands and put his palms flat on the desk.
“They were young and scared, and had no idea what to do with a baby.”
“I've thought of that. I'm not a baby anymore. They should make the effort at this point,” Dylan said, hurt still in his voice.
And that was exactly why Ryan needed to know. That hurt would never go away until he knew the truth.
“Are you the least bit curious? I mean, we know how strict your grandmother was. Is it possible that she told them to go? Asked them not to come back?” Lisa asked.
Dylan leaned back in his chair, considering her questions.
“They didn't come to her funeral. Didn't try to make sure I was okay,” he said, rubbing the scruff on his chin.
“I agree that was wrong. I'm not convinced they didn't love you, though.”
He laughed. “I really have become soft since having Maribel. This conversation would've had me all kinds of riled up and ready to fight in the past. Now I'm actually considering what you're saying.”
“That's a good thing, right?” she asked, not wanting to push her luck but also needing to help others see how short life really was and how little of it should be wasted on a hurt feelings or a grudge.
“It is,” he said. “Now you have me thinking about finding my folks. You've brought up good points. Let's think this through for a minute. Say I locate them. Then what? I'm not ready to forgive them yet.”
“You don't have to be. Do you?” she asked.
He laughed again. “I guess not.”
“All you really have to be is prepared to face whatever truth comes out of it. If they don't want to see you, then you have your answer. But what if they do? What if they're the ones who are scared you'll reject them after all these years? If you can handle knowing the truth, shouldn't you try to find it?” she asked.
“You're probably right.” He paused thoughtfully. “You didn't come here to talk about my situation, though.”
“No, I didn't. And I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable. Losing my father has made me realize tomorrow is never promised to anyone. I guess I want everyone to get closure with their relationships.”
“That's true,” he agreed.
She waited for him to give her an answer about Ryan.
“I want it on record that I still don't agree with going behind Ryan's back,” Dylan said. “Any heat comes from this and it's going to be on you.”
“Does that mean you're agreeing to help?” She couldn't keep the excitement out of her tone.
“It does. Mostly because I know you're going to look anyway and I'd rather be involved so I can make sure no one leads you down the wrong path.”
“Thank you, Dylan,” she said, feeling extreme relief and a new sense of purpose.
“I just hope this doesn't come back on either one of us,” Dylan said.
Chapter Fourteen
Ryan finished the last few bites of his dinner, looking around at the friends he'd known since he was a kid. As much as this felt like family, he'd be lying if he didn't admit that a piece of his life had always felt as if something was missing.
He dismissed the thought as being melancholy.
His brother, his friends and the people he could count on were all he needed. It was surprising just how quickly Lisa had made an impact on his thinking. She'd gotten under his armor and had him considering ideas he never would've in the past. Too bad they would part ways soon.
“We'll need to move out at first light tomorrow morning,” he said.
“What's the plan?” Dylan asked.
“The cabin is safe. I'll make sure no one follows us there,” he said.
“I want you to take my truck. Samantha and I will take your Jeep. We can go with you to the county line. It'd be too risky to keep going after that. The more vehicles we have, the higher the risk of being noticed,” Dylan said.
“Just like the president,” Ryan said, noticing that the mood had instantly changed from light to intense when he brought up leaving. But the topic couldn't be avoided. They needed a plan.
Taking back roads was a good way to slip out of town unnoticed, but he also thought about how exposed they'd be with no one around for miles. There'd be long stretches of road in front of them and behind them with plenty of chances for ambush.
Brody leaned forward. “There's the issue of getting you there safely. Small highways have their own problems.” He glanced up at Ryan, clear they'd been thinking along the same lines. “Once you get there, I don't like you being at the cabin defenseless. There's no backup around.”
“Good point,” Dylan agreed.
“You can't leave your horses, Brody,” Ryan said, referring to his friend's horse ranch. “And, Dylan, you have Maribel. No way will she let you out of her sight. You need to be around for her.”
Dylan and Brody nodded.
“We can check to see if Dawson is available. Plus, I haven't spoken to James. He might want to be involved,” Brody said.
“I don't mind getting others involved if need be. I still believe we'll be fine if we make it out of Mason Ridge without being followed,” Ryan said. “Nobody knows about this place, and bringing along others could make it easier to track us.”
“You'll get out of town without a tail. I can see to that,” Dylan offered.
“We'll all pitch in,” Brody said.
Ryan raised his chin. “My shotgun's too big to handle while I drive. I'll need to borrow a weapon.”
“You got it,” Dylan said. “I have a few spares. Take what you need from my office.”
A look passed between Dylan and Lisa. What was that all about?
Ryan knew that Lisa would be fine with guns. Heck, most everyone in Texas had grown up with one in the house along with the proper come-to-Jesus meeting about keeping them inside, unloaded, in a locked case. He'd ask her about it later.
Right now he needed to come up with a plan to keep her, her sister and Grayson away from Beckett Alcorn.
“I stopped by the sheriff's office while I was out,” Ryan said. “Couldn't get a whole lot out of him about yesterday's incident.”
“I've been investigating this on my own,” Dylan said. “We located the warehouse outside town.”
“Have you turned that information over to the sheriff?” Ryan asked.
“Not yet. I wanted to put eyes on it for a while. See what's really going on first. If I gave the information to law enforcement I was afraid they'd blast in there and scare off anyone who might be using the place. If the Alcorns know we're onto them, they'll close up shop there. And something's been bugging me. I remember a weird smell that I couldn't put my finger on. At the time, I wrote it off as nothing. Now I'm wondering if they might've been using the facility to mix chemicals,” Dylan said.
“Like for a bomb?” Ryan asked. “I want to see this place.”
Dylan nodded. “We can check it out later if you want. We'll have to go in the middle of the night and be very careful, though. I get caught and my relationship with the sheriff will go up in flames.”
* * *
D
ARKNESS
SURROUNDED
D
YLAN
'
S
HOUSE
. The blinds were closed. Lisa slipped out of the foldout bed she shared with Lori and Grayson in the living room and moved down the hallway.
Brody and Rebecca had gone home for the night. Dylan and Samantha and Maribel were in their respective rooms. Samantha's father was staying at his house in town to give them all some room.
Lisa's eyes had adjusted to the dark and she was careful not to bump into anything on her way to Ryan's room. She cracked the door.
“Ryan?” she whispered.
“Come in.” He sounded wide-awake.
“What time do you plan to leave?” Lisa asked Ryan, who opened the covers to allow her to slip into his makeshift bed on the floor.
“Not for a couple of hours,” he said.
“You can't sleep?” She closed the door behind her and took him up on his offer.
“No. You tired at all?” he asked, his voice husky.
“Not even a little bit. There's so much rolling around in my head. I have so many questions about this whole ordeal. I can't shut it off.” The case was one thing that was keeping her up. She also wondered if she was doing the right thing by going behind his back to find his mother. All the logical reasons jumped to her defense and yet she couldn't help feeling that she was betraying him.
“You know we'll figure this out, right?” Based on his tone of voice, it wasn't a question. He pulled her closer to him and kissed her on her forehead. The move was no doubt meant to be reassuring and yet it felt incredibly intimate with the two of them lying in bed together. Only a few strips of material kept them from skin-to-skin contact.
With his strong arms around her, she settled into the crook of his neck, doing her best to ignore the pulses of electricity ricocheting between them. With every breath, the room heated. With every move, her body warmed with sensual heat.
The kisses they'd shared had occupied more and more mental space and there'd been something building between them for the past few weeks. Whatever was going on between them had pushed them well beyond friendship into a new scary worldâscary because she'd never wanted to be with someone as much she did Ryan. Did that freak her out? Sure. In the past something like that would've paralyzed her. Not this time. Not with him.
The first time she'd lost her virginity jumped into her thoughts. She'd been in such a hurry to lose it in college. It had been this big fear building inside her that she'd never be able to be intimate with anyone, that Beckett had taken that from her. She hadn't been dating Timothy for long when she decided it was time.
Timothy wasn't the right guy. He was barely the “right now” guy. And yet she'd gone through with it anyway. And she had no regrets. Except that she did realize that making the decision to have sex needed to be about more than ticking a box on a to-do list.
Once she'd gotten it out of her system then she'd decided to wait until she had real feelings for a guy before sleeping with him. It seemed that her late start put her behind the dating curve and she'd ended up going out with guys who were in no way right for her or good for her, either. When Darren had forced the issue of sex after too many beers at a frat party, Lisa fought back. Even though she got away from him and he didn't get his way, she had that same feeling of shame as if she'd been molested.
Being touched and not instinctively reacting with shock was an uphill battle after that.
And yet she wanted Ryan's hands on her.
“Ryan...”
“Yes.”
“I want you to touch me.”
“You do know what you're asking, right?” he asked, his voice husky.
“Uh-huh.” She no longer cared what this would do to their friendship. She needed him to touch her, to brand her as his, to make her unafraid again. And she wanted this to happen more than she wanted air.
Breathing wasn't proving to be a problem.
The palm of his hand flattened on her stomach, causing her to quiver. She'd lost her virginity years ago and yet this felt like the very first time all over again.
“I need to know you can handle this,” he said in a low, deep timbre. He trailed his finger down her stomach and then along the lacy rim of her panties. “I want you.”
Turning to face him, she could feel his thick erection pulsing against her stomach, causing need to roar through her.
She struggled to gain footing as thunder boomed in her ears. Was this really happening?
“I want this, Ryan.”
“It's a damn good thing you do.” He cupped her face in his hands.
His lips pressed hers with an intensity that robbed her breath.
Desire started building, reaching, climbing toward that place that needed release as he lowered his hand and ran his finger along the sensitized skin of her hip. He needed to hurry this up because her body couldn't take much more.
Rather than wait for him to decide when to raise the stakes, Lisa took matters into her own hands, literally. She wrapped her hand around his stiff length and was rewarded with a guttural groan in response. Being in control felt good with Ryan and she figured that, with some practice, she'd easily let go and let him take the lead. It dawned on her why he was taking it so slowly, and the reason made her heart melt a little more. He didn't want to spook her or do anything she couldn't handle.
“You can't hurt me, Ryan. I want this more than you do.”
“I doubt that's possible, sweetheart.”
She smiled against his lips before he captured hers again in a bone-melting kiss. With her free hand, she stroked him a few times.
“Hold that thought,” he said, untangling their legs and pushing himself off the makeshift bed. He grabbed his jeans and returned with a condom.
There was enough light in the room to illuminate the hard angles on his face and hawk-like nose. Lisa had the startling realization that she'd never felt like this toward any other man. She'd never needed to touch anyone as much as she needed to touch Ryan right now. So she did just that. She reached toward him and outlined the ridges in his stomach, ripples of muscle.
His T-shirt and boxers were on the floor seconds before he rolled the condom down his length. She stopped long enough to admire him in all his masculine glory. He was serious hotness and she desperately wanted him.
It took her a few seconds to realize his pause was meant to give her time to undress. Her own oversize sleeping shirt and underwear joined his on the floor as soon as it dawned on her. This time, they'd make love on her schedule.
“I want you to touch me,” she said, knowing he needed to hear the words. “I love the way your hands feel on my body.”
She moved onto her back so that he could reposition himself inside the V of her legs. His body trembled with the need for release as he brushed his tip along her wet heat.
Palming his length, she guided him.
He dipped slowly at first, but she was already ready for him. She matched his next gentle thrust and he slid deep inside her.
Matching him stride for stride, she climbed with him toward the peak of release they could only give each other. Their bodies, now slick with sweat, moved at a frantic pace as they reached that ultimate climax together.
Tension corded her body as her inner muscles clenched and released around his length.
“Ryan,” she breathed as she felt his body tighten while he climbed that same mountain, stood on that same edge and free-fell to that same sweet release.
They lay perfectly still, bodies entangled, until their pulses returned to a normal beat.
Lisa couldn't be sure she'd heard him correctly, but as Ryan rolled to his side she could've sworn she'd heard him say that he loved her.
* * *
T
HE
AIR
WAS
STILL
. There was a cloudless sky. The stars shone brilliantly against a black canopy.
This was a perfect night for reconnaissance.
As long as Ryan could keep his thoughts on the mission he needed to accomplish and not on the silky feel of Lisa's skin. Or just how much like home it felt to have her legs wrapped around him as she called out his name.
Ryan stood out front, waiting for Brody, as Dylan pulled together a few supplies. He strolled outside, shouldering a backpack at the same time Brody's truck rolled up the gravel drive, lights out.
“This should help you out if you find yourself in trouble,” Dylan said, handing Ryan a weapon.
By the weight and feel, Ryan recognized it as a Glock.
The trio left as quietly as they could, staying dark until they'd slipped down the farm road leading to Dylan's house. There were no other vehicles on the road, but Ryan knew that someone could be watching the house.
“Even with the sheriff's office keeping watch on your place, I'm not sure I like leaving them alone,” he said.
“I have electronic eyes on the perimeter,” Dylan replied. “And someone stationed outside. Anything goes south and there's backup. I'm not leaving anything to chance with the people we love.”
“I didn't see anyone outside, so I'm guessing that was for a reason.” Ryan didn't correct Dylan. The truth was that he did love Lisa and the past few hours had been a game changer for him. The tricky part was figuring out his next move. The answer to that was probably going to be nothing. He liked the idea that she didn't bristle when he'd touched her. And he'd allow her to take the lead.
“Exactly,” Dylan agreed.
“I heard you got a colt in a few weeks ago from Lone Star,” Ryan said to Brody, needing to distract himself from thinking about everything that could go wrong with their mission.