Authors: Barb Han
Chapter Thirteen
Ryan had tossed and turned all night thinking about what Lisa told him the night before about Beckett.
Rage had kept Ryan from being able to let go of his emotions and give in to sleep. And everything inside him wanted to crush Beckett Alcorn. Lisa felt alone, but someone like him didn't stop after one victim. Ryan was realistic enough to know that it would be next to impossible to find out who else Beckett had preyed on.
Trying to figure out a solution had kept Ryan in tangled sheets.
If it wasn't for that, he would've been awake thinking about the couple of kisses he and Lisa had shared. Ryan honestly didn't know what to make of what was happening between them. There'd never been so many sparks in a room with two people or so much fire in a kiss before Lisa. All he knew for certain was that this was different than anything else he'd experienced. He chalked it up to the string of bad dates he'd had in the past year.
What dates, Hunt?
There hadn't been a real date, someone he was truly interested in, in a very long time.
For one person to be everything he needed seemed a tall order, especially since Ryan didn't particularly
need
anyone. Had he truly been looking for a partner? Or had he given up after Maria, Chelsea and Sandy consecutively had made no qualms about caring more about what he did for a living or what SUV he drove than anything else?
Was Ryan being too hard on women? Expecting too much?
Freud would have a field day with that.
Heck if he had answers. The only thing he knew for certain was that he wasn't checking the time every five minutes or thinking about how many NBA games he was missing when he spent time with Lisa. In fact, he liked talking to Lisa more than almost every other activity he could think of. Well, except for one, and sex with Lisa was totally out of the question.
Most likely their history and a natural curiosity gave that extra pull toward her. How many times in high school had he tried to work up the nerve to ask her out but couldn't? She'd shot him down cold when he finally mustered the courage.
Looking back, he might've done the same thing if the shoe were on the other foot and she'd come up with the same lame line he had. What was his brilliant phrase?
You wanna go grab a mocha with me and do some homework?
In all fairness, she should've laughed in his face. He remembered how uncomfortable she'd become when he moved closer to her. He'd thought it was because she couldn't get away from him fast enough. Now he knew the real reason.
Ryan untangled himself from the sheets, threw on a pair of jeans and shuffled down the hallway. No good could come out of too much thinking before a man had his coffee. He stabbed his fingers into his hair, trying to tame his curls so that he looked respectable before shuffling into the kitchen in case there was mixed company.
Lisa stood at the sink, looking out the boxed window. “Morning.”
“I'm not sure yet,” he teased, needing to get things back on a lighter note with her after the way they'd left it last night. They needed to focus on figuring out how to connect Beckett with his crimes and especially while his father was under scrutiny.
“This might help.” She handed over what he was looking for.
“Thanks.” He took the mug filled with manna from heaven and breathed in the smell of fresh coffee.
“Can we talk now?” she asked after he'd finished his first cup, refilled his mug, and then took a seat at the breakfast bar.
“Now would be a good time,” he said, smiling. “Your turn to sit down while I fix breakfast.”
“No way,” she said, emphatically. “I've got this.”
“All right. What else do you know how to cook?” he asked, noticing how uncomfortable she seemed with him doing anything for her. Even though they'd made up ground last night, there was still a huge gap between them. He could be patient and wait for her to be ready to allow someone in. Until she did, there could never be anything more than friendship between them no matter how much he was starting to think he was ready for more.
“Mostly just the eggs. I hope you're okay with that,” she said, rolling her eyes and clucking her tongue at him.
“Like when you decided to cook for the group when we were working on that project in eighth grade?” he teased.
“No. Not like that.” She shot him a look. “I managed to get through college without burning down any buildings, didn't I?”
“You only set a small fire. I'm still trying to figure out how you managed to get through college fed. Meal plan?” He couldn't stop himself from laughing any more than he could keep the armor around his heart from cracking a little more. Ryan didn't want to feel this way for anyone. It was only a matter of time before they'd let him down. Life had taught him that lesson early and the hard way.
She stalked over and jabbed him in the arm.
“Ouch,” he said, pretending it hurt.
“See what happens, funny man?” she shot back.
In one impulsive motion, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. Her laugh was the sweetest music, but when she turned to look at him, her eyes glittery with desire, he couldn't stop himself. “I'm going to kiss you. If that's not okay, then you need to tell me right now.”
Her answer came in the form of wiggling around to give him better access. Her movement gave him a new problem to deal with...one he didn't care for the entire house to see, especially since kids could bounce into the room at any moment. Not to mention the fact that his jeans were uncomfortably tight. Need took over and he claimed her mouth. Everything about Lisa felt like coming home. Shouldn't that freak him out?
He deepened the kiss and she tasted like peppermint toothpaste and coffee. Good thing he liked both.
“Are we the only two awake? I didn't hear anyone else when I came down the hall.” He pulled back enough to brush her lips with his when he spoke.
“Dylan took Maribel out to the playground to run out some of her energy. He's been up since before the sun, I think,” she said, smiling. “And you need to eat.”
He kissed her one more time before helping her up and he tried not to watch her sweet bottom as she walked to the fridge and pulled supplies.
“Having a kid keeps him on his toes,” Ryan said.
“The crazy part, and I noticed this with my sister, too, is that they don't seem to mind getting out of bed at ridiculous hours and staying up too late just to get basic stuff done. In fact, I've never seen either of them happier,” Lisa said. “By the time I get kids at school they can already walk, talk and go to the bathroom themselves. Spending time with Grayson has changed my perspective on how hard it is to care for kids.”
“Meaning what?”
“I used to look at my college friends who had babies and all I could think of was how much work they were and how tired my friends sounded. Now I get it. You don't mind being awake for three nights in a row with a sick baby when it's your child or a child you're close to. All you can think about is making them better,” she said, mixing ingredients into a bowl.
“Does that mean you want one?” he asked nonchalantly, wanting to know the answer more than he cared to admit.
“A baby?” she asked in pure shock.
“No, a puppy. Of course, a baby,” he retorted.
“A puppy I can handle. I'm not quite ready for a baby. I haven't even dated anyone seriously for longer than I care to admit.”
Why did that statement put a smile on Ryan's face? He clamped it down before she caught him. “I was just thinking about picking up a rescue from the shelter myself.” He had no plans to share the real motivation. That anticipating the loneliness he'd feel after she left was the reason he needed to fill that void.
“I'd be happy to go with you, if you'd like. When this is all over,” she said, the smile fading from her lips as her mind seemed to come back to the reality facing them.
Ryan couldn't help but think the cabin was the safest place for her. “Be careful,” she said, a pleading look in her eyes.
“I will.” Knowing an Alcorn had put it there made Ryan tense that much more. His family had a long history with that family, dating back to a dispute about land with Ryan's father. It was time the town knew who the Alcorns really were.
“I just keep thinking about my dad and the fact that he should still be alive. I can't let the Alcorns take away everything I care about.”
Ryan had no intention of allowing that to happen.
* * *
T
HERE
WAS
A
sad quality to Ryan's voice every time they talked about family, which had Lisa wondering about his mother again as she put the last of the dishes in the dishwasher.
Maybe it was the fact that she'd lost her father, but if Ryan was ever going to have a chance to heal, then he needed to face his mother and deal with his emotions.
But how would she reach Mrs. Hunt? Did she even go by that name anymore?
Lisa didn't have the first idea how to contact his mother, but didn't he have the right to know where she was and what she was doing? How sad would it be if she stayed away because she was worried that she'd be intruding on his life?
It probably wasn't Lisa's business and a voice in the back of her mind warned her not to interfere. Losing her father made her realize how short time was and how quickly people could be taken away, and she suspected Ryan's sadness wouldn't go away until he had answers.
Lisa cleaned out her mug and tucked it away in the cabinet.
The kids were down for a nap. Lori was resting with Grayson. Brody and Rebecca had disappeared to check on their horses. Samantha was taking a nap.
Lisa sought out Dylan, finding him in his office. He was in the process of converting the detached garage in order to make more room for Samantha's father to move in with them.
She knocked and then waited for an answer.
“Come in,” Dylan's voice boomed.
She opened the door to find him already on his feet, palming his gun.
“It's just me,” she said, her heart jumping into her throat at the sight of his weapon. Growing up in Texas, she'd gotten used to being around guns, but this seemed different. It was a stark reminder of how dangerous their circumstances were and how ready they needed to be at a moment's notice. “Can I come in?”
“Sure.” He set his weapon on the desk, motioned toward a chair opposite him and took his seat.
“This place looks great.” The office was nicely set up. There was a solid wood desk in the middle of the room. The place had a comfortable Western feel to it. A large rustic barn star hung on the wall behind the desk. On a long side table sat a substantial bronze of a bucking bronco. She recognized it as work from a local artist.
She figured the potted plants had to be Samantha's contribution to the decor. The green was a nice touch to the masculine room. There were a few unpacked boxes shoved against the wall.
“If I wanted to find someone, where would be the first place to look?” she asked, wishing she could come right out and ask for his help.
His expression tensed. “I can help with that.”
“It's not about this case. I'm looking into something that's not connected to the Alcorns,” she said, realizing he thought she was planning to poke around somewhere that might get her deeper into this mess.
“Okay. I'm guessing this isn't something you want to share with me.” He leaned back in his chair. “So, if it were me looking for someone, I'd start with the most obvious place, the internet. I'm presuming you know this person's legal name.”
“I do. Well, actually, I used to know her name. She may have remarried or gone back to her maiden name.”
That got his attention. “Do you know her date of birth?”
“No, but I think I can find that out easily enough.” Could she outright ask Ryan for the information? He'd be the only one who would know for sure, right? She could sidestep him and go directly to Justin. Oh, but the two of them were close. Justin would most likely tell his brother and then she'd have to face him. Could she come right out and tell Ryan what she was doing? Would he try to stop her? Going behind his back didn't feel right. Except what if she got him on board with the idea of finding his mother and something bad had happened to her? Or, worse, what if she didn't want to see Ryan?
It might be safer to explore on her own first and then bring him in when she knew it was safe. The last thing he needed to feel was rejected by his mother again. His pain was palpable at her abandonment, even after all these years. She understood why he would feel that way. Lisa had been let down by her father many times over the years, but Ryan was right that his saving grace was how much her father loved her. He kept fighting his way back to his girls. It was difficult to fault him for his weaknesses when he'd tried so hard to overcome them.
The bouts when he was drinking were some of the worst times of her life. But he'd figured out a way back to his family every time. Even though he fell down, he'd claw his way back up. She knew, despite everything, that he loved her and Lori above all. And that was the reason she was able to forgive him when the cops had shown up searching for him after he'd “freed” a pack of cigarettes from the gas station. She'd found him, drunk, hiding in the shed behind the house. He'd fallen asleep with a lit cigarette in his mouth. Child Protective Services hadn't liked that move.
She and her sister had been passed around to various relatives and when no one could take them in, they'd done a stint in the foster care system where Lisa had had to defend them both from a predator in one of the houses they'd been assigned.
Lisa took a sharp breath. “If I brought you in, how much is your fee?”
“No charge.”
“What about confidentiality?”