Chapter
5
Chloe woke feeling just as crappy as she had when she’d finally fallen asleep
a mere three hours
earlier
.
She made her mother a quick breakfast of jelly toast, scrambled eggs, and co
ffee before deserting her
at the kitchen table to sneak off to what was once her bedroom but
was
now used by h
er mother as a make
shift sewing room
.
Chloe rummaged through a sack of her old clothes she found in the closet. Her mother kept them on han
d because as she liked to say, “
You never know when one of my babies is gonn
a have to come home unprepared.”
Finding a faded pair of yoga pants, an old gray hockey t-shirt, and a dingy pair of tennis shoes, Chloe dressed quickly. After beating the hell out of her mother’s dining table the night before, she’d discovered that her anger and pain desperately needed an outlet, and apparently none was more therapeutic than physical exertion.
The sky was still overcast when she
finally pecked her mother on the cheek and double-timed it down the front steps to the road. A light fog hung in air and swirled
her breath as she exhaled.
The
infinitesimal
droplets felt refreshing on her face. She took a deep breath in, thankful as of late for every breath of fresh Montana air she could get. In the past few days it seemed a g
reat weight had settled itself i
n the center of her chest, keeping her from breathing deeply or even comfortabl
y
for that matter. But occasionally, she stopped and forced herself to
breathe
deep, to take in the glory of fresh, clean, mountain air.
Popping in her ear buds, she scanned her I-pod as she walked briskly toward the outskirts of town. There was a
n excellent
path through the woods not too far from the house. It wasn’t intended as a jogging path, but she craved the challenge and the solitude.
She hit play on her I-pod and was delighted to find it already set to the perfect running song.
30 Seconds to Mars,
how fitting. This who
le life is nothing but one big beautiful fucking l
ie.
She didn’t wait to hit the path to break into a
run;
instead she turned the I-pod as loud as it would go and loped to the woods.
Once she hit the tree line and
was certain
she wasn’t being watched, she broke into a dead run. She raced up and around the curved path that led up the steep mountain side. Her steps didn’t falter. She hurdled downed tree branches and side-stepped large mud holes.
Her arms and legs pumped furiously and her heart beat just as hard to keep up. Wh
en the song ended she hit repeat
and forced herself on harder. After a few minute
s
she didn’t have to concentrate on the path anymore, instead her thoughts went to her brother. When the block of ice threatened to encase her heart she pushed herself harder and
faster praying to out
run the pain even as she forced her thoughts from the painful loss of her brother to the
easier to manipulate
hatred she harbored for Dell Blackbird.
The
fucking
nerve
of him
to think he had any right showing
his face at my brother’s funeral!
Her cheeks burned with anger and exertion.
She gritted her teeth and pushed harder, faster.
Somewhere she’d stopped trying to dodge the mud puddles and now blazed through them, sending brown murky water shooting up to cover her pants and light blue jacket.
‘It’s a beautiful lie. It’s a perfect denial.
Such a beautiful lie to believe in…
’
Tears threatened and still she pushed herself impossibl
y
harder, not even slowing to unzip her jacket and toss it aside not even caring whether she found it on her trek back home.
‘It’s time to forget about the past, to wash away what happened last. Hide behind an empty fac
e, don’t ask too much just say…
cause
this is just a game’
She ran hard even as she fought to retain control over her emotions. She’d had so little control over anything in the past few
days;
surely,
she could control herself, her heart. It was all she had left.
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
.
I
t’s a beautiful, beautiful LIE
MAKES ME…
She fell to her knees, sliding through the mud
for several feet before h
er fists curled deep into the earth forcing soil
hard
under her
nails. T
he pain of it felt good
, a refreshing reprieve from the pain in her heart that she could do nothing to cure
. She fought to
hold back her emotion
to suck it down, but it wasn’t the pain that sent her over the edge it was the anger.
On her hands and knees, hip deep in wet earth she threw back her head and screamed with all the misery and rage a soul
could expel.
“AHHHHHHHHHH
!”
Why? Why couldn’t she have saved her brother? Why hadn’t she seen it coming?
“
Aaaaa
gh
!”
Sobs wracked her body as she pulled her fists back and crossed them over her chest.
Please God let the ache stop!
She sucked in a breath as warm tears stole down her cheeks, “Please just fucking stop!”
She lifted a muddy hand to cover her mouth
, while the other ripped out her ear buds. S
he sat rocking back and forth and simply cried. She cried until feeling all the pain, anger, and hatred left her exhausted. Taking in a long breath, she laughed through her tears at herself.
How in the hell would she explain her appearance to her mother?
She jumped when
heard a rustling behind her
. Spinning quickly, embarrassment stole through her
at the spectac
le she knew she
would be to any passerby
.
At first she was relieved to see a
large
dog standing in the tree line, but her relief quickly faded when she realized it wasn’t a dog at all. It was a
huge
gray wolf.
Fuck!
She scanned her surroundings quickly searching for a stick, or branch, or rock, or anything resembling a weapon. She found none. She slowly rose to her feet remembering an article she’d read somewhere that animals didn’t like to attack anything larger than them.
Shit, that was bears
…
wasn’t it?
She took a tentative step backwards, her eyes still scanning the area for a weapon even as she noted the posture of the wolf.
Tail’s not wagging, definitely not a good sign. Or is that only for dogs? God why didn’t I pay attention to that damn wolf biography on the nature channel?
It felt a little odd to have her heart clenching from an emotion other than anger and sadness. Chloe took another st
ep backward even as she thought.
Is it sad that fear is a little
invigorating
?
Her heel caught on a root and
unable to catch herself,
she dropped to her ass with a wet thud. When the wolf took a step closer she scrambled backward until her back hit a tree and that’s when it happened.
Her eyes locked with the wolf’s
and that same peaceful serenity she’d felt the night before staring at Dell engulfed her. The wolf stepped closer and Chloe slumped back against the tree resignedly, no longer caring whether the beast intended to tear her to shreds. She couldn’t tear her eyes from his.
Again that same warm amber gaze stole
her
torture, leaving her at
peace.
Maybe he’s going to kill me,
she thought with little emotion.
Maybe this is the peacefulness that people say washes over you just before you die.
If it was
,
she didn’t care. She’d welcome death if it meant feeling this tranquil
ity
forever.
When the wolf approached, Chloe lifted a tentative hand
and held her breath
. The wolf seemed to notice, but didn’t take
his
eyes from her. When she buried her fingers deep in the
thick matte of grey fur the
y both
jumped
. Chloe
g
r
asp
ed her wrist against
t
he elec
tric shock she’d felt.
She stared at the wolf that retreated to the tree-line before she scrambled to her feet.
She didn’t look back as she made a mad dash down the hill side. She cut through the woods until she found the path
, her head felt fuzzy, but she shook it off and
raced as fast as her legs could carry her. She didn’t hear the wolf in pursuit, but that didn’t mean she had any intentions of slowing.
At the bottom of the hill she dashed out into the road and had to jump back just as quickly as a car sped past sounding its horn loudly, perturbed at her idiocy.
She turned and huffed great sawing breaths as she eyed the forest. No sign of the wolf, but just to be safe she walked the shoulder of the road all the way back to town.
By the time she arrived at her mother’s she was shivering. Her arms clamped tightly around her, she’d had designs on hosing herself off before going in, but opted against it. The last thing her mother needed was to have to take care of a sick daughter.
Chloe eased the front door op
en, toeing off her muddy running
shoes
just outside
the front door.
She was tiptoeing through the sitting room when her mother’s voice halte
d
her.
“Jesus! What happened to you?”
Chloe stilled, righting her hunched shoulders as she turned to eye her mother then dropped her eyes to her mud encrusted running clothes. “Oh…uh nothing. Well, something.” She lifted her eyes and caught a hint of her mother’s growing impatience as she stumbled on, “I went for a jog on the
mountain path and I tripped on a branch.”
Bea
crossed her arms over her chest. “Tripped on a branch or got beat up by it?”
Chloe rolled her eyes turning her back to stalk towards the stairs, “Oh mom! I just fell. It’s slippery.”
Chloe was halfway up the stairs when her mother yelled, “Where’s your jacket? You didn’t wear a jacket? Why wouldn’t you wear a jacket?”
Chloe lifted a hand and shook her head opening her mouth for a defense, but none c
ame. “I’m gonna hit the shower,
”
she offered lamely t
hen she turned and was gone.
***
Dell hadn’t moved. From the moment Chloe ran from the forest, he’d stood transfixed.
What have we done?
He thought the death of his eldest brother was the worst pain he’d ever be called upon to endure, but he’d been wrong.
Watching Chloe have her break down alone in the forest had been more than painful to watch, it had been excruciating. Never in his life had
he
wanted to heal another’s suffering as much as he wanted to heal hers. She’d been so strong, fought so hard to maintain her self-control. Much like
him
, she’d only afforded herself the luxury of exhibiting any real emotion when she thought she’d been utterly alone. She was so much like him. He too had stayed strong as new Alpha. His newly claimed pack relied on him, watched him for signs of weakness, and he’d given them none. But it didn’t mean that he hadn’t shifted at night and run miles into the wood
s
to howl his misery at the ever constant moon.
Yes he’d suffered,
but not like her. Her cry had been so painful to watch that his throat had thickened with emotion, making it nearly impossible for him to swallow down his anger. He’d never been so angry. He’d wanted to hunt down whoever had caused Chloe’s misery a
nd rip their fucking throat out
but how
could he
when
his
family had been the cause.
Self-condemnation rolled through him in persistent waves leaving him nauseous with the guilt.
I should have shifted,
should have held her.
Even as he thought it, he knew it would have been impossible. Whatever spell or medicine she’d used on him still hadn’t dissipated. When she’d touched him, it had been just as agonizing as when he’d first met her eyes.