Tear (A Seaside Novel) (14 page)

“Me either,” I admitted, because I hadn’t ever felt this way before. I just didn’t expect to feel it twice.

A few cars honked in the distance. I felt myself blush as I noticed we were only a mile away from school and making out in the street. With our luck it would probably hit the news tonight. Great. That’s all I needed. My mom to suspect I was not only sleeping with both boys but skipping school with them too.

I groaned and slapped my palm against my forehead. All this drama was exhausting.

Demetri chuckled and reached around me, tugging my body in for a quick hug. “Food?”

“Food.” I nodded.

Chapter Sixteen

The next few weeks fell into a very nice and familiar rhythm. Demetri and Alec always took me to school and Bob followed me like a stalker every day. I even convinced him it would be in his best interest to join me at work.

He liked that.

He was currently on flavor thirty of five thousand flavors of taffy.

It never ceased to crack me up to see him digging through the different flavors and tasting them.

Even Evan warmed up to him. Well as much as you can to a guy who grunts more than he talks.

I didn’t see Alec. Ever. I still ran with him, but when we ran it was exactly as it had been before. We didn’t talk about anything personal and the miles always ended before I was ready for them be done.

At school he ignored me completely. Because of that fact, everyone forgot about my whorish newspaper spread and began talking about Homecoming and the upcoming football game.

I was happy.

I still missed Alec, but Demetri had been the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. He was attentive, charismatic, and caring. Sometimes, his ego got on my nerves, but I was comfortable enough with him to tell him when he was being a selfish pig.

Although his response was always confusion. Which always meant I had to explain to him why it didn’t sound good for him to refer to himself in the third person, or talk about a new car he wanted to buy in front of a girl who was using food stamps at the grocery store.

I was finally able to focus on something other than boys when my teachers decided our finals before the end of the first quarter would last three days and consist of nothing but papers and tests.

Who still did finals every quarter?

I was on my third and final test and ready to freak out when Demetri came strolling down the hall with Starbucks in hand.

“For me?” I asked, breathless.

He held out the coffee then snatched it away.

“I’m going to hurt you,” I spat.

“So violent.” Demetri sat next to me in the hall. I was doing a last minute cram session before the next test started.

“So tired,” I grumbled, leaning my head on his shoulder.

“The coffee is because you’re tired.” He held it out, but attached to the back of the cup was an envelope. I snatched it and opened it up.

It was a poem.

“You wrote me a poem?”

“No.” He shook his head as if disgusted. “I wrote you a song.”

Oh. My. Gosh.

“Y-you did?” I didn’t know what to say.

“Yup, I’m recording it with Alec when we have time.”

“Wait, I thought you wrote it though?”

Demetri leaned in and kissed me lightly across the mouth. “I did, though he always helps with some of the verses, plus we always sing together.”

If I wouldn’t have already been sitting I probably would have fainted. The words hit too close to home. It was too real. And suddenly I felt like crying.

“Hey, hey! Why are you crying?” Demetri chuckled and pulled me into his chest. “Baby, I thought it would make you happy!”

“It does, I mean, I am. I guess I’m just touched. Nobody’s ever done anything like this for me.”

“You deserve everything.” He kissed my nose. If only he knew what I liar I was. I exhaled.

“About Homecoming…”

My head popped up. He had all my attention. “Yeah?”

“I have this thing in L.A. It’s a music camp. A lot of the low income schools participate, and it lasts for a week. I offered to help teach some classes, and well, they called yesterday. I leave tonight.” His eyes were sad but more excited than I’ve seen them in a while.

“You need to go,” I said, happily squeezing his hand.

“You don’t mind?” He grinned. “Because, Nat, I can totally cancel, I mean… Well, I would be bummed. I found out I really like teaching, and I’m good at it, and I don’t know. It’s just so different than performing all the time, and—”

He had the same issue I did with talking. Whenever he got excited it was impossible to shut him up. I pulled him into a hug and laughed even though a stab of disappointment was barreling into my chest. Maybe it was for the best since I hadn’t bought a dress yet. Demetri had said we could make a huge date out of dress shopping. Guess that was out the window too. I pushed back from the hug and sighed. “Demetri, just go! I’m proud of you and I’ll be fine. I’ll just go with Alesha and Evan.”

Demetri groaned.

“What?”

“Evan’s gonna be pissed.”

“Evan will deal with it.” I nudged him. “Plus, it’s nothing you can’t fix with free concert tickets.”

“Aw, there’s my little manipulator.” He got up and dusted his jeans off.

My eyes followed his hands as he shoved them into his pocket. I didn’t want to admit that I was worried about him going to L.A. without Big Brother watching over him. My doubts were unfounded though. I mean, he’d been doing nothing but proving to me he was trustworthy. “I promise I’ll call you when I can, okay? I’m flying out of Portland in a few hours, so I’ll let you drink your awesome coffee and read the amazing song I wrote you.” He looked like he was going to say something and cleared his throat. “I, um, I’ll miss you, Nat.”

My heart nearly broke. He was so good. I didn’t deserve him. “I’ll miss you too, Demetri.” I got up and kissed him. “Now go pack, and try to behave when you’re away.”

“Scout’s honor.”

“You were never a Boy Scout.”

“I would have been an awesome Boy Scout,” he argued.

“Just go.” I pushed him down the hall and joined him in laughter as he waved goodbye.

I walked back to my seat and glanced at the song Demetri had written.

Brown eyes, blond hair, I can’t help but stare. She’s got me hypnotized. I need her, like oxygen, I can’t explain the way she makes me feel inside. Like rain, washing my fears away, she makes me feel like I can say all those things I’m too scared to say.

Breathe in, breathe out, sometimes you just gotta shout your love. Shout your love. Inhale, exhale, the beauty of your love will always be enough. Enough.

Lost, the feeling I have without you. Like I can’t function and don’t know what to do. It’s like I’m dreaming while I’m waking. Like I’m suffocating. Being with her is my addiction, and I don’t want to have to stop. No,
I never want to stop. Like rain, washing my fears away, she makes me feel like I can say all those things I’m too scared to say.

Come back to me. Come back to me. I swear I won’t ever leave. I don’t think I have it in me. I can’t fight, I can’t fight. If I did,
I would lose,
if only it meant I could have you. Cause I need you.

Like rain.

Like rain.

Like rain, washing my fears away
.

I stared at the song. Tears welled in my eyes. I knew exactly the part that Alec had written. It was the bridge. I could almost hear his voice singing it.

I quickly texted Demetri and said thank you.

A smiley face was his reply.

Carefully, I folded the song and put it in my pocket then trudged to class. It was my last final before the long weekend and the Homecoming game.

The coffee helped me get through the first hour.

By two I still had a few questions left.

Whoever said that school wasn’t torture was clearly homeschooled, or didn’t attend public high school.

“Ugh,” I moaned, then realized it was out loud. Evan snickered behind me. I was surprised he was still there, all things considering. His tactic during tests usually had to do with him filling in the circles in as many designs as possible.

“Five minutes,” Mr. Meservy announced.

I looked behind me. Alec was hovering over his paper like it was life or death. I quickly filled in the last few circles, because I was clueless about the answers, and brought my test to the front.

“Thank you.” Mr. Meservy took my test.

Done. I was done!

I ran out into the hall and had the ridiculous notion to throw my fist in the air and start belting Zac Efron from High School Musical. Clearly, I was losing my mind. Demetri would be so disappointed. Both he and Alec had been dead set against me listening to anyone that they deemed threatening in the music world.

Goodbye, Neo, both Justins, Drake, Hunter Hayes — so basically, they just disapproved of the males.

I did a little dance in the hall anyway.

“Is that from High School Musical?” A familiar voice said behind me.

I froze, my hand mid-air as if I was doing the clock move, and turned. Alec’s grin was so wide it looked like it hurt his face.

He also had his phone out.

“Please tell me you didn’t take a picture.”

“I didn’t take a picture,” he confirmed.

I exhaled.

“I recorded it and just uploaded to Youtube.”

“No!” I gasped.

“Nah.” Alec shrugged. “But I did send it to Demetri.”

I glowered at him as he chuckled and put his phone in his pocket. This was the most we had talked in weeks. I tried to extinguish the memory of his lips on mine, but it was pointless.

I exhaled and put my hands on my hips. “What do you want?”

“Don’t ask a question you don’t want the answer to,” he said darkly.

“Sorry.”

He shrugged. “Demetri wants me to take you to Homecoming.”

“Demetri is very trusting.” I glanced at Alec’s reaction to my comment, but he feigned indifference.

“Demetri knows where my loyalty lies.”

“So do I.”

We stood there glaring at one another for what seemed like hours.

“Look…” Alec cursed and walked toward me. He always scratched the back of his head when he was nervous, and I always stared as his shirt barely rose, giving me a small glimpse of his stomach and part of his tattoo. “We’re friends. Let me take you. It would suck to go by yourself.”

“True.” I folded my arms across my chest. “I just don’t know if it’s the best idea.”

“I’ll be the perfect gentleman.”

That’s what I’m afraid of. I mean, crap. What am I thinking? I love Demetri, I love him! He’s been so good to me, and he wrote that song, and… Ugh. I nodded at Alec. “I’ll go with you. Thank you for asking.”

He beamed.

My heart felt confused. After a few more moments of awkward stilted conversation we parted ways.

I ran to my truck and hopped in. I needed a dress and fast.

Where to find a dress in Seaside?

I knew Demetri had probably forgotten about our little deal to go together today. He was too excited about teaching. I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself. I quickly said goodbye to Bob and promised him I’d keep my cell phone around. Geez, the guy was nearly impossible to get rid of at school, but the minute I said
dress
shopping
he backed off. Men.

I decided to drive the hour and half to Lincoln City. They had more choices and I needed more choices.

The drive took longer than it should have. Traffic was always awful on Highway 101, and I knew first hand that when tourists were pouring into town what should take an hour could take upward of three.

Chapter Seventeen

After almost two hours of traffic, I pulled into Daisy’s, a classic dress shop that I knew would have exactly what I needed. I only had a few hours before I was due back home. Not that my parents would even notice if I was gone, but still I was a rule follower.

The bell chimed as I stepped in. Colors and sparkles bombarded my senses until I felt slightly dizzy. I walked up to the plainest dress I could find and looked at the ticket. One hundred and twenty dollars. Not too bad, I guess.

I touched one of the fabrics. It was a dark red. It had a plunging neckline and was floor length.

“You don’t want that one,” a girl said.

I looked up. She was standing behind the counter filing her nails. Her hair was a dark brown and piled up on top of her head with a pencil sticking in it. “Trust me.” She shook her head. “The last girl who bought that dress is so not gonna get any action tonight.”

“Good.” I felt relieved. “Action is the last thing I want.”

The shop girl peered at me. “Really? Because you’re really pretty, I mean, I’m not hitting on you or anything, but you have like amazing eyelashes.”

I laughed.
So I’ve been told
. “Thanks.”

“Don’t get me wrong, but red wouldn’t look that great on you. I mean, it would be fine, but I’m thinking silver.”

“Silver?” I asked.

She nodded and walked around the counter. “I have the perfect one.”

Well, it wasn’t as if I was super fashion forward. Alec would probably want me to look nice, and Demetri would like the pictures. I found myself following her through the store, a ghost of a smile on my lips.

“This would be perfect!” My eyes fell to the short cocktail dress in her hands. It was strapless but had some sort of dip in the middle.

“What’s that called?” I pointed at the top of the dress where it seemed to curve towards the chest.

She looked at me like I was high. “That’s a sweetheart neckline. Haven’t you ever worn a cocktail dress before?”

“That would be a no.” I awkwardly stuffed my hands in my jean pockets.

“Well, The sweetheart should look killer on you, plus you’ve got long legs and this baby will make ‘em look even longer. Here, try it on.” She shoved the dress at me. “I guessed you at about a four or six, is that right?”

“I think so?” I wasn’t actually sure. I’ve never owned a dress like this before.

“Okay, well let me know if you need help.” She walked back to the register.