Tangled with Lust: A Life Changing Lesbian Experience (4 page)

The fierceness with which we kissed took us both by storm. Her hands were racing through my hair just the way she liked, and mine were holding her just where I needed her. Our small touches were slipping under shirts and tugging at jeans until we shook some sensibility into ourselves to see that we were having at each other out on the street at night. It was a beautiful night, but I couldn’t even appreciate the scenery because her eyes were showing me what she meant. She still loved me.

Neither of us spoke about our feelings that night, but we ran up to my place together and slammed the door at our backs. Unlike the other reckless night we had spent together, there was no teasing. What we needed transcended words, and we were far beyond hesitation. It was like we couldn’t possibly contain ourselves with the way we were pulling and pushing at each other. Even with her usual weakness compared to my strength, she was wielding a lot of power between us. She wanted something very particular, and I was going to give it to her. I would have given her anything.

“Tell me what you want,” I growled, hungrily moving my lips to her neck. Her neck was always ultra-sensitive, and I knew she would be powerless when I started to suck just under her ear.

Her knees buckled, and I moaned just as instinctively. She was mine.

“I … want … to suck it …”

I tugged at her hair as she laughed in that sexy way she held for our mischievous intimate moments. She knew what she was doing to me, and what made it even more enticing was that she wasn’t saying that to affect me – she really wanted what got me off, too.

“Where is it?” she panted, escaping my hold to hurry into my bedroom. She was quick when she wanted to be, rifling through one of my drawers as I stepped into the room behind her to stare at that pencil skirt ensemble fitting her in all the right places. She was bent over, searching in exactly the right place. How she knew me so well, I had no idea. I crossed my arms in fascination as she dangled the thing on her finger and moved over to me. “Wear it.”

She didn’t have to ask me twice.

I stripped out of my jeans, but I fitted the strap-on over my bikini briefs. My hands were a little shaky when she sank to her knees, but I was determined to stay strong. I stabilized my feet and smoothed my hand over her hair to try and make the moment tender, but she wasn’t having any of that. Naomi was just as racy one moment as she was sensitive the next, and I had never seen a woman suck a strap-on like she could – real or scripted. She showed a sort of hunger for the thing that I had never truly understood, but always found completely orgasmic.

With finesse, she put her hands on my hips, and she started kissing and licking the black silicone dildo that was properly snug in its harness. She locked her eyes on mine, and then she closed them to enjoy the feeling as I watched her do it, taking more of the toy into her mouth with every movement. She loved for me to enjoy what she could do, and I must say that it became quite difficult to simply watch. I tugged at her hair and she moaned. All I wanted was to hear that again, so without a word, I pulled her up by her hair, and led her back to the bed. After a short struggle for her panties, all I had to do was spread her legs and get between them. At first, she liked for us to struggle against each other, but then she quickly guided the toy inside of her.

Without hesitation, I started pumping in and out of her as she growled and moaned with anticipation. She knew what was coming.
She
was cumming, and it wouldn’t be long.

“Why can’t I stop wanting you …?” she panted with each syllable to her puffing breaths. She was so easy that the friction from the harness alone was getting me off.

“Harder! … F … Faster!” she pleaded, moving in time with my hips. It was so rough that I couldn’t hold in my excitement. The electricity was taking me over, and I gave in with more powerful strokes – stilling her body with the very same energy.

We came powerfully in unison only to fall limp there together, earning back our breaths as the night air cooled our flesh.

“I … can give you what you … need.”

Naomi licked her lips and squirmed underneath me: “Mmm … what?”

“Why you can’t stop wanting me,” I teased with feigned arrogance. “That’s why.”

She let out a beautiful chuckle and then she went completely quiet as we both processed what was happening between us.

Her voice was small when it came back to me, but I heard it just the same: “Yes, you can … give me what I need. I think … maybe you can.”

“Gotta love that confidence.”

She kissed me twice and laughed. “Yes, you
have
to love me.”

I grew more serious, looking down at that angelic face in my hands. It was the face I saw in my dreams – the face of the woman I wanted to get to know all over again. I did love her, and I knew then that I’d never stopped loving her. That crazy, beautiful woman had me falling in love all over again. We had always teased and toyed with each other out of love – and I reverted back to a tease I had used many times with her. With playfulness, I touched her cheek and teased her to show that I cared.

“You’re crazy, you know that?”

She just smiled and reached up to me, too. “I know.”

Our friends were confused with my general discussion about my possible reconciliation with Erin. I spoke of Erin every so often, and my friends were not amused. I knew that she had wronged me in our marriage, but since being with her again, I had begun to re-evaluate what happened between us. Teasing with Erin was fun, but I had begun to miss our caring moments together, too. I missed the way she rubbed my back after a long day, and the gentle hugs she gave me. She always used to read the newspaper in bed and wake me with the rustling of the pages. I started missing the routine we had created together, no matter its imperfection.

I started to miss all the little things about her. I would call her up in the middle of the day, pretending I had to speak with her about something just to hear her voice. I would show up at her place just to see her again, and feel her arm wrap around me – however hurriedly she held me. I began to fantasize about a life with her again, and that was when I knew I had to talk to her about it. She deserved to know what was on my mind.

We were seated at one my favorite diners when I clasped my hands over the table, and looked at her. She had this way of leaning back and resting her arm over the booth that had me yearning to straddle her, but I pushed those thoughts from my mind. I bit my lip and reminded myself that she had every right to know what I wanted from our relationship.

“Erin … I-”

Yes, as luck would have it, we were interrupted. My friend, Tannis, had her hand on my shoulder before I could utter another word.

“Naomi?! What’s going on?” she asked, looking very cautiously over to Erin and then back to me. I could tell she was skeptical of the situation, but it seemed to be unfolded regardless. She really had no idea of what to say, because she was usually very talkative, but quiet in that moment.

I had no idea what to tell her – I hadn’t told my friends the truth. They just knew that I’d been thinking of working thing out with my loathsome ex-wife. I hadn’t confessed that we were
already
trying. I felt guilty for being caught with my ex, but there was nothing I could have said to redeem the situation. It was clear that Erin and I were calmly sitting to eat together.

“Tannis – hi … Erin was … umm …”

“Yeah,” Erin added with that frustrating cocky attitude of hers, “I was.” Tannis had been rude to her since our divorce, and I think Erin really loved being able to rub that scene in her face.

Tannis was taken aback, just staring at the two of us when I finally stood up from my seat and walked out with her to explain a few things. I insinuated that Erin and I were getting along again, and she was
not
supportive. She warned me about getting close to Erin, and I didn’t really know what to say. Neither of us really knew what to say when we were faced with that issue, because we really didn’t know how to handle the big question: How were things different? I chewed my lip and watched Tannis leave to make her point. I felt like a failure, sulking before I sat down across from Erin again in our cozy little booth. I folded my arms, and just looked over at her. She was playing with her menu.

“I don’t think your friends will ever un-hate me.”

Instinctively, I reached across the table, and slipped my hand over hers. “Hey … we just have to … find something that works for
us
. Then it’ll all fall into place.” I was comforting myself, too.

She smiled even though I could see there was still trouble in her eyes, but she trusted me. It had been a long while since I had been able to comfort her, and I took great pride in that. Her dark eyes shifted over menu items as I admired her. She was so stunning in the most peculiar moments, and she was stunning then. Her hair just seemed to fall in all the right places, and her clothes pulled tightly to accentuate her best features. Her eyes were honest and her face appeared new to me. There she was – my ex-wife and current lover. Was that all we were?

“Hey,” she started, setting down the menu to look right back at me. “How come you don’t want me at your place? … We’ve been fooling around for a while already, and we’re always at my shitty place. Why?”

I really wish I had a proper answer for her, but the truth was too complicated. I sighed and postponed my answer for a while until she interrupted my thoughts.

“Tell me.”

“I don’t know! It’s … complicated, okay? I … I don’t know what to tell you.” I wasn’t ready.

“Take me to your place, and I’ll … do anything you want.”

I gasped openly, laughing uncontrollably at her offer. I quickly shifted around to make sure no one had heard us, and then chastised her for being so loud. “Shh! Are you insane?!”

“Come on, take me. You know I’ll make good on that offer.” The fact that she winked made me tingle, but I pushed all of that aside to set things straight.

“Erin … I don’t … need anything. I just …”

“Come on! I just wanna come over. We can have tea if you want.”

“Tea?”

“I’ll rub your feet, I’ll …”

“Erin.”

“… Massage your back, I’ll dress up in-”

“ERIN!” I whispered, grabbing her wrist to pull her out of the diner with me. We hadn’t ordered, but we weren’t all that hungry. The honesty of my true feelings had taken a backseat to the coincidental meet-up with my friend, and the whole gathering was beginning to suffer. I was frustrated, but certain as I pulled Erin to her car and looked sternly into her eyes. “Listen to me. This … is something we should talk about. There’s a really long past between us. And as much fun as it’s been sneaking around … we really need to take a step back, okay?”

She sighed, and gave me one of her half-smiles. “Alright … why don’t you get in and I’ll drive you back to your car.”

“But I’m close.”

“Just get in.”

We both climbed into our car and buckled up when she sped off from the parking lot with thick laughter that was both infectious and infuriating.

“Erin?! Where are you going?”

“To your place. I still know remember it,” she teased; each of us bickering until we’d reached the place. She even grabbed my purse as she hurried out her side, and I was flustered in trying to open my door, so I had to run after her just to chase her into my building. I can’t describe the way she makes me feel when she does silly things like that, but it’s a playful sort of tone between us that makes anything seem possible. We have fun with our stupid theatrics.

I ended up chasing her all the way up the five flights of stairs to my apartment, where I finally tackled her in the hallway. Yes, tackled her. I know I’m not usually the type of woman who would resort to such aggressive play, but it just came out of me. It was the only time in a really long time that I let myself loose, and that was rolling around with her in that moment.

“You should have told me you wanted it rough,” she laughed, pinning me with little resistance because of her tactics and strength. It was all so useless that I just laughed in return, and then she let up a little to smooth the dark strands of my hair away from my face. The way she smoothed the backs of her fingers down my cheek was in adoration, but I tried not to enjoy it. I wanted to be mad at her, but as fate would have it, I couldn’t summon much real anger toward her anymore. Our playful spats and meaningless arguments consumed that aspect of our relationship, and it was then I realized I felt that we were in a real relationship again. I didn’t know if it would be a mistake or not, but I felt that we were back together again.

Mr. Penner from two doors down came out into the hall to crook his brow at the sight of us struggling on top of each other. I think for this statement to have its desired effect, I really should explain that Mr. Penner is an uptight sort of person who had always seemed to disapprove of Erin and I ever since we had lived in that apartment building all that time ago. He always seemed to believe that we were crazy in some way, so for him to see us tangled like that in the public eye certainly assured his beliefs. Erin and I both froze, and then climbed to our feet, looking very much like guilty teenagers. We bowed our heads with snorted laughter as Erin quickly found my key on the chain and let us in.