Taming Mariella (13 page)

He looked at it as though it were a foreign object. “To do what?”

“To take pictures.”

He looked around him. “Of what?”

She raised her hands. “Of all the beauty around you. The trees, the snow, anything.”

“I don’t do landscapes.” His gaze fell on her. “And I don’t do models.”

She snatched the camera from him. “I’m sorry. I forgot you don’t take pictures of pretty things. You like it raw and ugly. Perhaps I should dig up the dead fox I buried for you.”

He softly swore. “Mariella, I didn’t mean it that way.”

She began to walk away. “I’ll see you later.”

“Where are you going?”

She kept walking.

He followed her. “Mariella. Where are you going?”

“I’m continuing this walk alone. I prefer my company to yours.”

“Don’t go too far.”

“Why not? Are you afraid there might be bears? That would be a good story for you.
Ex-model gets mauled by bear.
You could take a nice picture of me lying dead on the ground with my neck ripped away.”

He grabbed her arm, his voice rough and hard. “Don’t ever say that to me again.”

Her gaze clashed with his. “Would you prefer me to just think it?”

His gaze fell, his grip loosening. “You don’t understand.”

“Then explain it to me.”

“I can’t take a portrait of you,” he said awkwardly. “I don’t do portraits.”

“I’m not asking you to do my portrait. I’m asking you to take my picture as my…” Her voice died away.

His gaze lifted and he searched her eyes. “As your what?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do.”

“I’m cold. I’m going back.”

He blocked her. “You weren’t cold a minute ago.”

“Well, I’m cold now.”

“No, you’re afraid now.”

She sent him a hard look. “And you’re not? You can’t even take a photograph of a woman standing two feet away from you. Did your father’s brilliance paralyze you that much?”

A muscle in his jaw twitched. He held out his hand. “Give me the camera.”

She did. “Where do you want me?”

He looked at her with interest. “Seriously?”

“To pose,” she clarified.

“Oh.” He shrugged. “Anywhere.”

“Okay.” She turned and spotted a stump surrounded by rocks. She dusted off snow. “Here’s a good spot.”

“Yes.” He lifted the camera then didn’t move. He remained frozen. Mariella stayed the same as she watched him unmoving with his trigger finger trembling above the shutter button. She didn’t know what to say or whether she should move. She thought about how easy it had been for Jeremiah to take her photographs and how Ian seemed to be in agony. Why? Why would something so simple prove so painful?

“The light’s dimming,” she said in a bright voice. “You’re right, it’s not a good time to take my picture.”

Ian lowered the camera and stared down at it. “You know he was brilliant with this thing. He could turn anything into art. He could take a picture of anyone and make them look beautiful. He had an eye, a special gift. I never told him how much I—” He took a deep shuddering breath. “I’m a fraud. I went into photojournalism because I couldn’t stand the comparison. I couldn’t take photos like he did. Give me action, give me a stranger, but I can’t take pictures of people I…” He shook his head. “Every time I tried it was never good enough. Not up to his standards.” He captured her eyes. “I can’t take you comparing a picture he took of you with one of mine.”

“But I wouldn’t.”

“Perhaps, but I would and then I’d remember that you were his…model.”

“Well, you need to learn to forget that.” She lifted the camera in his hands. “Am I in the frame?”

“What?”

“Am I in the frame?”

He checked. “Yes.”

“Good.” She pressed his finger over the shutter button. “There. All done. Now let’s get a few things clear. I’m
your
lover. I wasn’t your father’s. That’s a big difference and if you can’t get that straightened out we should end things now.” She took the camera and turned. “I’ll be back.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m giving you time to think.”

“I don’t need to think.”

“It’s good for you. I’ll be back in twenty minutes.”

“Make it ten, it’s getting dark.”

“Fifteen.” She turned and winked. “It’s not that dark.”

“Ten. It soon will be.”

Mariella playfully stuck out her tongue then left. Ian watched her, his heart feeling both heavy and light at the same time. On one hand he didn’t understand her, but on another he understood her completely. He had to let the ghost of his father go if he wanted this to work. And he desperately wanted it to. She was the key to his peace; she could keep the dark shadows away. He knew that the first moment he met her. She had forced him to
feel.
He didn’t even miss his darkroom. But could their relationship handle their return to New York: the innuendos, the gossip, the attention, the disbelief. How could he protect her from that? He’d have to do his best to make sure everything worked.

He returned to the cottage and saw a second car in the driveway. His heart fell. He didn’t have to wait to go to New York. New York had come to them.

J
osh jumped out of the car. “There you are. We were getting worried.”

Ian frowned, shoving his hands in his coat. “We?”

“Yes, Gen’s in the car.” He lowered his voice. “You wouldn’t believe how much time I’ve been able to spend with Gen since Mariella’s been away. A couple more weeks and I’m going to seal the deal.”

“Seal the deal?”

“Ask her to marry me.”

“Good for you,” Ian said, a little envious that his brother’s love life was going more smoothly than his own.

Gen stepped out of the car and shyly smiled at him. “Hi.”

He waved.

Josh nudged him. “You could at least say something more. She’ll be part of the family soon.”

“I’m not in the mood,” he grumbled.

“You could try.”

“I am trying.”

Gen looked at the two men unsure of what they were whispering. “Is Mariella inside?”

“No,” Ian said. “She went for a walk.”

“Oh.”

“Come on, let me help you with the bags.”

Ian helped them with their luggage and entered the house. “One room or two?” he asked at the top of the stairs.

“One,” Josh said.

“Two,” Gen said, then blushed.

Ian raised a brow. “Which one is it?”

“One,” Josh said.

Ian nodded and showed them a spacious bedroom. While they settled in Ian cleared up the family room where he and Mariella had been staying. When Josh and Gen came downstairs he led them into the formal living room.

Josh fell into a chair. “I’m sorry we couldn’t get here earlier. The crew will arrive tomorrow. You don’t know how much we struggled to get here, but the thought of you alone another day with that she-wolf made me determined.”

“Mariella is not a she-wolf,” Gen said.

“We pictured you at each other’s throats. It must have been hell.”

Ian glanced out the window at the gathering darkness. “Hmm.”

“This place is pretty cozy,” Josh said, eager to fill the silence his brother left.

“Yes,” Gen agreed. “When do you think Mariella will be back?”

Ian kept his gaze on the window and said in a flat voice, “She was supposed to have been back by now.”

Gen sat on the edge of the seat. “Do you think something’s happened to her?”

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Josh said. “That woman could scare off a grizzly bear.”

“Josh, stop joking.”

“I wasn’t.”

Gen’s tone became anxious. “Should we go look for her?”

Ian didn’t respond, he barely heard her. He kept thinking of a dusty day in Gambia when Cathleen wouldn’t listen. She never listened to him. He’d loved her for her independence, but it was her stubbornness that had gotten her killed. He wasn’t going to go through that again. He wasn’t going to suffer through the constant worry, being unsure. He wasn’t going to allow another woman to rip his heart out again. He didn’t move. He wouldn’t think of the dangers she could face. At that moment he decided that when she walked through that door it was over between them.

But no matter what he told himself, as the minutes passed his anxiety grew. Flashes of Cathleen assaulted his thoughts, flashes of the dead fox soon joined them. He sat there thinking and waiting until it became unbearable. He jumped to his feet and grabbed his coat.

“You’re going to look for her?” Gen said.

“I’m going to wring her neck.” He flung open the front door with such force it banged against the wall. He walked a few feet then saw Mariella coming toward him. She smiled and waved until she saw the look on his face. Her smile fell.

“What’s wrong?”

“I told you to be back in ten minutes,” he said, a little too quiet.

His quiet tone didn’t fool her, his gaze blazed with a scorching fury she didn’t understand. “I know but—”

“You said you’d be back in fifteen.”

“I know but—”

“It’s forty-five minutes later.”

“Yes, but I had to take this picture—”

He grabbed her arms and shook her, his voice raw with emotion. “You’re not going to do this to me. Do you understand? I’m not going to let you.” He shook her again. “You’re arrogant, and spoiled, and stubborn and you don’t care about anyone but yourself. Well, you can stay to yourself because I certainly don’t want you.” He abruptly released her and spun away, ignoring her when she called out his name. “You had to have your way. Do you know what could have happened out there? I do.” He turned to her, the fury in his gaze almost tangible. “I know because I imagined every gruesome thing and…” He clenched his hands into fists, his voice trembling with anguish. “Damn you. Damn you for making me worry like that again.”

He pressed his fists to his eyes. “I should have known better.” His hands fell. “Damn it, I did. But I didn’t care.” He paced in front of her like a tortured caged animal. “I do now. I was a fool. I’m ready to admit it. I thought I saw something in you. It’s not your fault,” he said, his voice weary. “I’m glad this happened because now it’s over. We had a good time, but now that’s in the past. When we return to New York you’ll have your life and I’ll have mine.”

“Ian—”

“I can’t be your lover or your friend or even a distant acquaintance. I want you to forget about me and I’ll do the same.” He turned and marched to the house. Mariella stood there, stunned. What had she done? She was only a few minutes late. She hadn’t intentionally meant to worry him. But his pain gripped her as if they were of one body and that’s when she knew she loved him. There was no denying it. She loved this man who in a few short days had taken precedence in her heart and mind. The thought terrified her that he had such power, but she was strong enough to face it. And she didn’t want to lose him.

For the first time in her life, she really didn’t know what to say. “That’s impossible. I can’t forget about you.”

Ian kept walking.

“Please don’t do this to me. I’m sorry.” When he didn’t stop walking she ran up to him and grabbed his arm. “Please, Ian. I’m sorry. I should have come back sooner. You were right. I was being selfish, I was taking pictures and lost track of time and then darkness fell and for a moment I didn’t know my way. It would have served me right to have gotten lost and frozen out there.” She flashed a rueful smile he didn’t return. “I can be stubborn for no reason and I do have a hard time admitting when I’m wrong. But I’m willing to admit it now, because you…” She took a deep breath, feeling a little ill, knowing the risk she was taking to reveal herself to him. “Because you mean a lot to me.”

Ian shook his head in disbelief. “Don’t do this.”

Mariella cupped his chin, forcing him to look at her. “I mean it. I’m sorry. I won’t do that to you again. You’re right—what I did was selfish, irresponsible and inconsiderate.” Fear twisted her gut that he could walk away from her; he could leave her and there was nothing she could do. She couldn’t frighten him or bully him or worse yet, control him. She’d be forced to let him go and that scared her more than the depth of feelings she had for him. She tentatively touched his cheek as she would a dangerous, skittish creature and nearly wept with relief when he didn’t pull away. “Please forgive me.”

He closed his eyes and whispered her name. She threw her arms around him and wanted to say
I love you so much,
but kissed him instead. After a few moments he pulled away then wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “Let’s go inside and get you warmed up.”

“So you forgive me?”

“I’m still thinking about it.”

She laughed, feeling her heart lift. “Thank you.”

He playfully wrapped his arm around her neck. “You’re welcome.” Mariella was too taken with the moment to recognize another car in the driveway.

The moment they walked through the door, Gen rushed up to them, pushed Ian aside and gave Mariella a fierce hug.

“I was so worried,” she said.

“So was I for a moment,” Mariella admitted. “I’m surprised to see you here.”

“We arrived about an hour ago.”

“Oh.”

She allowed Ian to take off her jacket and direct her to the couch. He helped her with her boots then looked at Josh. “Go get me a blanket. At the top of the stairs is the master bedroom. Better yet bring me the down comforter.”

Josh stared, amazed at the scene before him. “What?”

“I need a comforter.” He stood. “Never mind. I’ll get it myself.”

Once Ian left the room, Josh turned to Mariella. “What the hell is going on here?”

“Was it awful?” Gen asked, settling in close to Mariella and rubbing her hands to keep them warm.

“No, we managed to get on.”

Josh blinked. “But Ian—” He stopped when his brother returned to the room. He watched with sickening surprise how his brother gently wrapped the comforter around Mariella. He jumped to his feet. “What the hell is going on?”

Gen tried to pull him down. “Calm down.”

“Calm down?” he repeated. He stood in front of his brother. “What is all this?” He gestured to the pair. “Why are you acting this way? You hate her and she hates you—that’s the way it’s supposed to be.”

Ian sat next to Mariella, resting his arm behind her head. “Well, that’s not the way it is.”

“But she was Dad’s—”

Ian’s gaze hardened. “She’s my woman now, so I’d suggest you watch what you say.”

“But Mom—”

“I’ll deal with Mom.”

Mariella felt the tension between the brothers and moved to leave. “Gen, let’s see what we can find for dinner.”

Ian kept her still. “You need to warm up first.”

“I feel much better.”

Josh pushed his hands through his hair then started toward the front entrance. “There are some parts of the project we need to discuss. I left my notes in the car.”

Ian flashed him a bored look. “So go get them.”

Mariella nudged him. “He wants to talk to you.”

“He knows how to do that now.”

“Ian.”

He slowly stood. “Fine.”

Josh walked out the door. Ian followed then stopped in the doorway and turned to her. “You know what this talk is about, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“You’re already causing me trouble.”

“Trouble can be fun.”

He winked then left and shut the door. Gen stared at Mariella, stunned. “I can’t believe it.”

“I know.”

“You and
Ian?
”

Mariella changed the subject. Their relationship was too fragile to stand up to scrutiny. “And I noticed that you and Josh came alone.”

Gen blushed.

“Have you told him about—?”

“I will.”

“When?”

Gen sighed. “Soon.”

“We both know there are no notes there,” Ian said as Josh marched to his car.

Josh stopped then slowly spun on his heel. He gestured to the house. “This is about Dad, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is. You want to get your last leg in.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“And you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. That woman is trouble. Don’t you know that? Try to think with your brain. That trouble in Georgia is just the tip of the iceberg. You know that lady is suing, right? And if you don’t think that’s bad enough think about how the papers are going to run with this story.” He threw up his hands and stared up at the sky. “Of all the women in the world you’ve got to go for your dead father’s mistress.”

“She wasn’t—”

“She’s got you believing that bull? As if that’s not bad enough she’s making you soft.”

“Look—”

“Did you see the way you acted just a moment ago? I’m telling you she’s slowly snipping off your balls and she’ll trap you just like she trapped Dad.”

Ian shook his head. “You don’t know her.”

“Maybe, but I know you and I don’t want to sit by and watch you make another mistake.”

Ian stilled. “What do you mean by that?”

“You know what I mean. Marrying Cathleen was a mistake. You wanted to be different from Dad so you married a plain, ordinary woman who liked to take pictures of everything our father was against. And you married her and found out that she was selfish and conniving. I know that she used you.”

Ian kept his voice neutral. “No, she didn’t.”

“She used you to get certain assignments. She used your connections to further her career. Come on, Ian, you know she used you.”

Ian grabbed Josh by the collar and shoved him against the car. “No, she loved me and I loved her. You don’t know—”

Josh’s gaze clashed with his. “I know that she took some of your photos and passed them off as hers.”

Ian shook his head as though trying to rid the words from his mind. “It wasn’t like that.”

“You were blind because you thought she was different than the many women who came in and out of your life. But Cathleen was just the same as the others. We all saw it, Dad, Mom and I, and we felt sorry for you. When she died…”

Ian released his grip. “You were glad?” he said flatly, all strength leaving him.

“No, we didn’t expect it to affect you that much.”

“She was a great photojournalist.”

“But you were better. That’s probably why she took more and more dangerous assignments because she knew she wasn’t that good. Face it Ian. She used you and Mariella is using you too.”

His mouth became a thin line. “You’re wrong.”

Josh sighed. “No, I’m not, but I guess you’ll have to find out on your own.” He went back inside.

Ian pounded the hood of the car. His brother was wrong. Cathleen hadn’t used him. He had let her get credit for some of his photos. They had worked so close together, after a short period he felt they were like one person. Whatever she achieved he felt he’d achieved also. Cathleen had been brilliant and fearless. She had a passion for the work. He had loved her, but he’d never been sure she felt the same. He knew Cathleen’s first love was her work. She lived and breathed for it and ultimately died for it. He didn’t need Mariella to love him. He didn’t want to be alone anymore and he knew she was right for him.

“Where’s Ian?” Mariella asked when Josh returned alone.

“He’s still outside.”

“Why?” She stood. “Is something wrong?”

“No. Why can’t you just leave him alone?” he said when she moved toward the door.