“But I don’t know if I can promise not to react again to something like this. Or anything. The panic attacks happen less and less frequently but when they do, they’re pretty bad. And I can’t be managed. You’re a very in charge type, Shane. I have to make choices for myself. Even if it seems stupid to you, it’s everything to me. You should move on. Find a normal woman without baggage.”
“Are you dumping me?” A smile played at the corners of his mouth. “Are you mocking me?”
“If you’re dumping me, I’m mocking you, yes. Cassie, darlin’, I knew you were hiding something that first night you came to town. I knew you had something that was eating at you. But I pursued you anyway. You know why?”
“My sparkling wit?”
He grinned. “Yeah. And your smile. And your intelligence and beauty and damned if you don’t have the nicest tits I’ve ever seen on a woman and I would very much like to see them naked and in a bed very soon.” He held up a hand to continue. “I know it won’t happen tonight, we’re both a bit ragged. I’m just saying.”
His arms encircled her waist and he held her to him. “Are you interested in me? In a relationship? For me, this is getting serious. You said you knew my history, well, it’s true. Not that I’ve been a womanizer, but I’ve played around a lot. I had one serious relationship but I never should have moved in with her much less asked her to marry me. Looking back, I thank my lucky stars that she cheated on me and got caught.
“I want you to know you mean something to me. I’m going to try to be totally up front here because I want this to work. I want us to be together. Let’s work through your panic attacks. I’ll try to curtail my need to take care of the people I…uh…care about. I can’t promise to stop, it’s who I am, but you can yell at me and I’ll never, ever, raise my hand to you in anger. I might be an asshole from time to time but I’m not a thug or a bully. Let me in. Let’s see where this can go.”
Her forehead rested against the hard muscle of his chest as she thought. Thought about what a relationship with Shane would be like after the morass of messed up she’d been married to. He made her smile. He cared about her and wasn’t afraid to say so. That touched her deeply. And without a doubt, he was the sexiest, handsomest and downright wonderful man she’d ever met.
“Are you sure? I’m a mess, Shane.” “I’m totally sure, Cassie.” The bass of his voice vibrated through his chest.
Taking a deep breath, she leaned out and looked into his face. “Okay. But don’t manage me, Shane, or I will chew you up and spit you out. I mean it.”
He grinned. “Promise?” Startled laughter bubbled from her gut and she rolled her eyes.
“Cassie, do you trust me to touch you? I know we won’t sleep together tonight but I’d very much like to touch you.” To demonstrate, his hands slid down the curve of her back and down to cup her ass. “Oh,
that
kind of touching.” Cassie couldn’t help but smile.
The tips of his fingers brushed against the satin of the exposed skin just below the frayed hem of her shorts. Shane felt the gooseflesh erupt there as he stroked that sweet spot where the curve of her ass met her inner thigh.
He watched her eyes, waiting for her to refuse before moving his hands anywhere else. He needed her terribly but he also knew he’d have to take it slow with her at first. She had some wounds and he intended to heal them. Okay, to
help
her heal them.
Step by step he moved her back to the door behind them. He stopped when her back met it. The eyes locked with his showed trust and no small amount of desire and curiosity.
His mouth moved down and took hers. Her lips called to him, her taste tantalized and seduced. Unable to resist, his teeth caught her bottom lip, giving it a sharp nip before sweeping his tongue along the sensual curve there, laving the sting.
She sighed and his mouth caught the sound, swallowing it, taking it into himself greedily. Her palms slid up the muscles of his forearms and biceps, up his neck and into his hair as he feasted on her lips.
Their tongues slid together, sinuous and sex laden. He knew that once they got into bed together it would be incredibly powerful. Their chemistry was off the charts. That knowledge helped him stay in control. As much as he wanted to be inside her, he wanted to be inside her heart first. Wanted her to be totally sure she could trust him not to hurt her.
He brought a hand up to free her hair and it tumbled down, the scent of her shampoo filled his senses. “Everything about you smells good,” he murmured as his lips moved to the column of her throat and ever-soslowly, one palm slid up her stomach, beneath the hem of her T-shirt and found her breast.
Emboldened when she arched into his touch, he moved his other hand, slipping down into the front of her shorts. The skin of her belly was soft and warm. Fingertips traced over the front of her panties, against the silky fabric. He felt her heat, her wetness through the material.
A soft moan slid from her lips, vibrating against his mouth on her throat. The hand on her breast moved out of the way and he caught her nipple between his teeth through the cotton of her shirt. She cried out, rolling her hips forward.
Clever fingers moved the panties out of the way and slid through the heat of her pussy. Shane groaned at the same time Cassie did, finding her so wet, knowing she wanted him as much as he wanted her.
She tried to reach down to his cock but he held himself out of reach. “No, not right now. Let me love you, Cassie.” She made a sound of disapproval until his fingertips found her clit and her head knocked on the door behind them. He only barely resisted chuckling, instead, he moved to the other nipple, his hand replacing his mouth on the one he’d just left behind.
Cassie hadn’t had an orgasm given to her by another person in several years. Since the second year she and Terry were married. She’d wanted Shane for weeks now and her body was primed to his touch. There was no fear, only the roar of desire in her ears and the burn of want in her muscles.
The way he touched her was reverent. It made her want to weep. This big man treating her with such gentleness in the middle of his wicked carnal assault on her senses wrecked her.
She felt her orgasm coming, begin to burn in her muscles. He had two fingers inside her and his thumb applied just the right pressure to her clit. There was something to be said about a man who’d been with a lot of women. He certainly had experience.
Shane moved his mouth to her ear. “Let me have it, darlin’. Give me your orgasm. I want to feel you come around my fingers, I want to hear the sounds you make when you climax.”
A cry, low and deep, broke from her lips as orgasm opened up around her and swallowed her deep. Pleasure soaked her, sapped her strength and she held on to him as it buffeted her over and over again.
Her parched cells filled up, replenished, and she began to feel whole after being broken for so long. Serotonin flooded her brain and lethargy, warm and heady stole over her as a smile crept over her lips.
It was his chuckle that made her open her eyes finally. His face was flushed, eyes desire-dark as he put her shorts back to rights and planted a kiss on her lips.
“I do believe I have never seen a more beautiful sight. Your neck arched, lips parted, a flush on that gorgeous face. You’re amazing, Cassie.”
She felt the tears in her throat but she didn’t free them. They were bittersweet tears but she felt like giving in to them would have let Terry win and continue to fuck with her head. Instead, she embraced happiness and the thought that she might be able to have a real life, a real future and that just maybe, Shane Chase would be a part of it.
“You’re good with the compliments, Chase. Now, it’s your turn.” She raised a brow and he laughed and shook his head.
“Not tonight. I want this first time to about you. We have so much time, Cassie. We’ll take our baby steps and when we end up in bed, it’ll be right and incredible.”
She must have had a distressed look on her face because he laughed and kissed her again. “That look is almost as good as sex, Cassie. I like that you want me too. But we’re not ready to go there yet.”
She wasn’t? She didn’t know. She didn’t think it was a problem. She wanted him to fuck her and right then. But she also didn’t know if she’d freak out either and so close to their fight and the panic attack yesterday, he was probably right. She vowed to make it extra good when she did get her hands on him. She hoped she could.
Shane led her to the couch and pulled her down with him, pulling her into his side and snuggling with her. “A whole lot is going on in there.” He tapped her head. “You wanna share?”
Terry had seriously eroded her confidence about sex. Not just about her own sexuality but her ability to please men. He’d always told her she was frigid and lousy in bed. What if he was right? What if she couldn’t please Shane?
“Hey, no, get that look off your face right now. Talk to me, please. We can’t move forward if you don’t share with me.”
“I’m fine. I’m working on getting past all this stuff with my therapist. Man, I never thought I’d say,
my therapist
in this context, you know? It’s just something that Terry, my ex, made me feel like.”
Shane took her hand and kissed her fingertips. “Like what, darlin’?”
“Unattractive. Frigid. Like I couldn’t please a man.” Her voice went quiet. She
knew
Terry was wrong, but what your mind knew and what your heart knew were sometimes very different.
“Cassie, your ex-husband is an asshole. You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. I’m not lying. And the way you just flew apart in my arms? You telling me that’s frigid? He’s the one with problems. Any man who’d force a woman has big issues with sex and power. That is not about you. And I’d scare the bejesus out of you if I put your hand over my cock to show you just how pleased you make me. Trust me, you do.”
With a soft sigh, she snuggled into his body and he held her tight while they watched a movie.
He waited until she’d fallen asleep in his arms and then carried her to her bedroom. Checking to be sure everything was locked up tight, he set the air conditioning and left her a note, telling her he’d call her the next day.
Outside, he double checked that the door had locked behind him and scanned the area for anything amiss. The lighting was good on her porch. He’d noticed she’d put in a higher watt bulb and made a note to himself to put some security lights out back for her. He was sure Chuck wouldn’t mind him doing it. The added security was a plus for any future tenants anyway. He’d also put in a new deadbolt for her, after he figured out a way to make it seem like her idea.
Chapter Eight
“Is there anything I can do to help planning this shindig?” Penny looked up at Cassie, who’d just come into the room, bearing the day’s receipts. “No. And you can give those to me and go meet Shane. I know he’s out there flitting around, waiting for you.” “He can wait.” Cassie sat down. “Penny, do you date at all?”
Penny pushed her glasses up her nose and paused. “It was hard, losing Ben. He was like the other half of my heart. For the longest time I couldn’t even imagine being with anyone else. In the last year or so I’ve been on a few dates here and there. I haven’t met anyone who could hold a candle to Ben’s memory. Still, it hurts less and I feel like I’m waking after a long sleep. Why? You’re not planning on fixing me up are you?”
Cassie laughed. “Hell, Penny, I don’t know anyone other than you and the Chases. Matt’s pretty hot. And Marc, well, a younger man could be just what the doctor ordered.”
Penny burst out laughing. “I grew up with those boys. They’re like my cousins so I while I can appreciate all that handsome, I can’t see them like that. And I am quite sure Marc would wear me into nothingness. His prowess is pretty legendary.”
“I was just wondering. After being married and having it not be the best experience, it’s odd to be dating again and have it be so different. Better. I’m a bit giddy even but I’m not quite sure what to do. What to expect. I thought you might have some sage advice.”
Penny patted her arm. “Honey, I’m no sage. All I can tell you is to go on and enjoy yourself. Anyone with eyes can see Shane thinks you hang the moon. You two are good people. The two of you can be good together if you just let go a bit.”
Cassie stood. “We’re headed out to The Pumphouse, you want to come with?” “I have a date with a pedicure. I’ll see you for brunch on Sunday.” “All right, come on over and show us your fancy new toes if you’re up for it.”
Shane nearly swallowed his tongue when Cassie emerged from the back of the store. She’d pulled her hair away from her face and was wearing shiny red lip gloss. Her sneakers had been replaced with sandals that showed off those sexy red toenails. The jeans and pretty T-shirt had been exchanged for a knee length skirt that rippled like water when she walked and a tank top-like blouse with buttons down the front. The casual professional look had transformed into something ultra-feminine and sexy with the addition of the sandals and some jewelry.
“I just needed to freshen up a bit.” He smiled and kissed her forehead. “A bit huh? You look gorgeous.”
“And you smell good and look handsome. It’s going to be a shame beating a man at pool who looks so good.”