Moving tentatively, she put her groceries away as her body and spirit regained control over itself. It was then that she remembered she hadn’t gotten in contact with Brian and she knew he’d be climbing the walls with worry by then.
She didn’t want to leave the house. She wanted to stay inside and hide. But she couldn’t. She wouldn’t. Instead, she grabbed her keys and her wallet, and headed out to the payphone she’d noticed earlier that day outside the grocery store.
But Shane Chase was waiting at the bottom of her stairs and she recoiled for a moment.
Damn!
He noticed that.
“Oh, Sheriff Chase. You surprised me.” She tried to be nonchalant and force herself to go down the stairs but she froze three quarters of the way down because he remained standing at the bottom of the landing, effectively blocking her way. Making her feel trapped.
“Shane. Please. And you want to tell me why the very sight of me scared you?” His voice had an edge she couldn’t quite place. “Matt said you had a panic attack earlier when he was at your place. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on? I can help you.”
Anger replaced the fear and she pushed her way past him and down the walk. “I’m on my way out, Shane.” He moved his body to halt her progress and the fear was back at the edges of her anger. “What are you hiding?”
“Sheriff, you’re blocking my way. And anyway, what’s it to you? I haven’t done anything wrong unless panic attacks are illegal in Georgia.” Her voice shook a bit, mortifying her even more but thank goodness he stepped out of the way.
“I’m sorry I scared you. I don’t know why you’re afraid but I can’t help you if you won’t let me.” Hands held loosely at his side, he kept his voice calm and low and she felt like an animal all the sudden. A cat spooked in a treetop. When had her life become so out of her control?
Oh how she wanted to tell him. To give it all to someone else and let them fix it for her. But that wasn’t possible. No one could protect her but herself. And the last thing she needed was another big, dominant man who thought he could run her life far more efficiently than she could.
“I’m fine. Now if you’ll excuse me.” She walked around him, got into the car and pulled away, leaving him standing there, watching her go.
Matt waited on his landing as Shane came up the stairs. “Something has spooked that woman big time.” Matt waved his brother inside and handed him a soda.
“I’d wager it was a man. Some asshole who beat her up a time or two. Maybe a daddy.” Shane took a sip and sat down on the couch. “Either that or she’s running from the law. I checked her out and she’s clean but it’s not like fake identification is a foreign concept to criminals.”
“I don’t think so, Shane. She doesn’t come off as the kind of woman who’s hiding something from others because of what she’s done.”
Shane nodded at his brother. His stomach clenched as he remembered the look on her face when she’d looked down the steps at him. No, that wasn’t the face of a woman hiding from a drug charge. That was the face of a woman who’d been hurt by someone and was afraid it would happen again. No woman had ever looked at him like that and it bothered him deeply that she would be afraid of him.
That nagging protective feeling was back. “I think you’re right. I think it’s an ex. She didn’t seem to have a problem being alone with Maggie or when she was with us all in her apartment. But men alone? You should have seen her reaction when she walked out and saw me on my way up the stairs to her place. She flinched. There’s something bad there and I aim to find out what it is.”
“I told you, she started shaking when I was at her apartment. I could hear her sobbing for breath after I left. I’m worried about her.”
“Are you now?” Shane’s eyes narrowed at his brother. “Leave that to me. It’s my job and she’s not going to tell us anything at this point. I just need to show her we’re the good guys and hopefully she’ll come to trust me…us, in time.”
Matt raised a brow. “Oh, so that’s how it is? You staking a claim?” “I just want to help. I’m a cop, it’s what I do.” Shane paused and Matt made a rude noise. “Puhleeze. Shane, I’ve known you my whole life. That look on your face says there’s a lot more than your cop-type duty on the line here.”
Shane started to argue but groaned instead, shaking his head. “Damn it, there’s something about her. You should have seen how pissed off she got out there. First she’s totally freaked and then I say something that makes her mad and she’s spitting and hissing. She’s…” Shane shrugged his shoulders. “But if you had your eye on her…oh hell, even if, unless you want to have some serious competition, you’d best back up and let me at her. That juxtaposition of timid ferocity gets to me. I can’t say I’ve ever been this intrigued before.”
Matt threw back his head and laughed. “Well, she’s a looker. And those big blue eyes are haunted. But I’m still stinging over my break up with Liv. I don’t think I’m ready right now. But I do want to help Cassie. So I’ll keep an eye on her.”
“I’m sorry things didn’t work out between the two of you. I thought Liv was the one.”
“Yeah. Me too. But after nearly a year of dating, she wanted to move to the next level and I just wasn’t ready after all. I can’t blame her for moving on. I look at Kyle and Maggie and I know that if I’d truly loved Liv, I’d have asked her to move in or marry me long before a year passed.” Matt cocked his head. “Cassie may be able to get spitting mad at you but I don’t think she’s the plaything type. Don’t play with her. I don’t think she can handle it. And she deserves more.”
Shane’s lips tightened as he stood up and began to pace. “Hey, fuck you, okay? I don’t play with women, Matt. I’m just not serious about them. I’ve made mistakes, I grant you that. But I have no intentions of harming Cassie Gambol. She’s different. She moves me and I want to know more. A lot more.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I should be running for the door right now, looking to hook up with a woman who’ll make me forget those eyes. But she makes me want to stick around. I think I’m in trouble.”
Standing in the payphone she’d spied earlier that day in the grocery store parking lot, Cassie punched in the numbers and waited for Brian to pick up. The shaking had finally abated but the after effects of the attacks always left her feeling off balance.
“Hello?” “Hey, B. I’m here safely.”
“I was ready to get on a plane and come looking for you. Why didn’t you call me last night? Is everything okay?”
“My phone won’t be hooked up until Monday. And I got into a small fender bender and my car is in the shop but yeah, everything is okay. I got a job.”
“Already? Great news. Doing what?”
She told him about the bookstore and the five favorite authors question. “She’s giving me a week’s trial and if she likes me, she’ll make me permanent. Who’d have thought I’d be so excited about something like this?”
“You’ve been through an awful lot. Of course something like this job is exciting. You’re claiming your life. Now, a fender bender? Did the new identification work?”
“I guess so. The sheriff hasn’t arrested me yet. And it was his mother who hit me. Rear ended me at a red light. I’m all right but my car needs some TLC. My furniture arrived and there are people coming out of the woodwork to offer me help. It’s all very stereotypical southern small town here. Lots of people calling me miss and ma’am and going out of their way to be nice. It’s odd. Disconcerting and yet, it feels nice.”
“Did you tell them?”
“Hell no. That’s my past. I mean, they offer to drive me places and move my furniture, that sort of thing. The sheriff has taken it into his head to try and save me. He’s like nine feet tall and four feet wide. I’m wagering he was the quarterback in high school. In any case, I’ll have to disabuse him of the notion that I need saving.”
Brian laughed. “Honey, you can let people in, you know. You haven’t done anything wrong. There’s nothing for you to be ashamed of and he won’t find you. Maybe telling the sheriff is a good thing, he can keep an eye on you.”
“You just said Terry won’t find me so why do I need an eye kept on me?” And she was ashamed. She knew she shouldn’t be but she was. She graduated at the top of her class and yet she’d let a man in her life who’d estranged her from her family and had nearly killed her. He’d taken away one of her greatest passions when he used a hammer to shatter the bones in her fingers. How she let things get that far, and more than once, was still something she didn’t understand. And if she didn’t how could she expect others to?
“You going to see that doctor they recommended? The one in Shackleton?” “Yes, she has evening hours and I have an appointment on Wednesday night. I suppose I’ll need to clear it with my job.” “You promised you’d go. She’s a specialist with domestic violence survivors, Car—Cassie. Don’t break that promise.”
Closing her eyes, Cassie leaned her head against the cool glass of the enclosure. “I won’t. I promised and I’ll see it through. Even though I don’t need it.”
“No one can live through what you did without needing some help.” “It was a year ago.”
“Yes and you spent months in the hospital. You were in a coma for three weeks. They weren’t even sure you’d be able to use your right arm again. And then the trial and the fuckups. You need someone who can help you process it all. You’ve just been existing for the last year. Hell for the last several years.”
“Fat lot of good the trial did when they found him guilty and he’s out there free.” Free and filled with violence and the need for revenge. She shivered against the ninety plus degree heat. Fear made her cold.
“I know, Cassie. I know. It’s wrong. But you’re alive and safe and damn it, you need to claim your life again and live. Get a boyfriend, go on dates, neck at the movies. If you like this town, buy yourself a house and settle there. When they catch him, I won’t have to hide when I come and see you. Or you can come back here.”
The mere idea of a life where she could have those things mocked her. Could she? Could she be normal and have friends and a boyfriend? A life where she didn’t weigh every word and action out of fear? It seemed like such a ridiculous fantasy, rage bubbled up within her. But she didn’t want to unleash it on her brother, who’d been her rock through everything. “I have to go. I need to get home and get some dinner. I’ll email you and call you with my new info once my phone gets hooked up on Monday. Thank you, Bri. I love you.”
“Good. Then you won’t be mad when the cell phone I just bought for you shows up at your place early next week. You need one and it drives me nuts that you don’t have one.”
Cassie sighed. “Fine. Thank you. You’re pretty peachy keen as big brothers go.” “I should have done more. I should have seen it. I’m sorry.”
“Stop. Damn it, stop! Hell, I
lived
it and I didn’t see it. Not all the time. Not until it was too late. But it’s over. And I’m alive and you’re alive and we’re okay.”
“I love you. Take care of yourself. You’d better call me on Monday when you get that phone working.” “I promise.” Before she got in her car, she went into the store and bought a gallon of chocolate chip ice cream.
Chapter Three
At eleven-thirty on the dot, Cassie knocked on the back door of the bookstore and a smiling Penny Garwood opened it and waved her inside. Penny’s short, stylish brown hair had a pretty barrette on one side, holding it back from her face. Cassie liked the woman’s style.
“Well that’s a good start, Cassie. Right on time.” Penny handed her a stack of paperwork. “Have a cup of coffee and fill all this out. I’ll be out front getting everything ready to open. Come on out when you’re finished.”
She settled in with her papers and took a sip of coffee. She tried not to look at her hands as she wrote. Tried not to think about how much her life had changed in the span of not even an hour. Cassie had had to learn to write with her left hand while the fingers on her right healed. Her victim advocate had encouraged her to keep writing that way. Another layer to her new life. It’d been strange to think constantly about how to become Cassie Gambol and keep Carly Sunderland dead.
Still, she’d gotten to the point where she answered to Cassie like it was the name she’d been born with. She wrote her new social security number with her left hand on that paperwork and listed the past jobs as those people she knew she could trust to keep her secrets and back up her cover.
Cover. She nearly snorted. Once a respected surgeon, now she had to deal with cover. And she didn’t even get a cool car like James Bond had.
Finishing up, Cassie went out to the front of the store and handed the papers to Penny who looked through them quickly, tucked them into a folder and smiled. “Okay, that’s all done. Let’s get you to work.”
For the next several hours, Penny showed Cassie the ropes. How to work the cash register, how to find stock, what went where. It wasn’t complicated but it was more detailed than she’d expected it to be and after a while, Cassie fell into the rhythm of it all.
At five Penny turned over the closed sign and locked up. “Good job. Especially for your first day. I’m impressed.” Cassie hadn’t felt accomplished in a very long time. It was a simple thing but it felt damned good. “Thanks.”
“Are you busy tonight? We need to set up your schedule and it just so happens I have chicken marinating in my fridge. As an added bonus, I’ve got sangria that I started last night so it should be nice and ready to drink.”