Taking Chances (38 page)

“I tried to
live without you Harper, I tried to let you go and I couldn't. To me, there is
no one else, it's only been you since the day I met you. I love you, which
means I love him too. Those flashes you get? I have them all the time.” He
cupped my face gently and leaned back to look in my eyes, “It doesn't matter to
me that he isn't mine. If you let me, I'll raise him like he is, I'll take care
of both of you for the rest of my life, and I promise I'll be right there with
you to tell him about Chase, and how great his dad was.”

Tears filled my
eyes and eventually pooled over, I don't know what I ever did to deserve men
like Chase and Brandon, and their families, but I was thanking God for putting
all of them in my life. “If we do this,” I warned, “you won't be able to get
rid of me again.” I laughed and kissed him softly, “I'm in this forever if you
are.” I whispered against his mouth.

“Forever.” He
agreed and scooped me into his arms, carrying me to the living room, our lips
never parting.

When he sat on
the couch, I pulled back slightly to smile at him, and caught a glimpse of my
family still sitting at the table. I looked closer to see the three of them smiling
at us, Bree and Mom had tear-streaked faces. I remembered how much the entryway
echoed and knew they'd heard everything. Having them support me and being happy
for us meant the world to me, as I'm sure it did for Brandon.

Brandon had
been looking at them as well, and turned to smile at me, “I love you Harper.”

If my heart
could sing, it would be now. We'd told each other in discussions that we still
loved each other, but hearing him say it right now, like this, was like the
world was finally right again. “I love you too.” I trailed my fingertips down
his hard jaw, and reached up to kiss him again. “You're sure you want to do
this? Be a dad, early morning feedings, school and sports, teenage years...be
with me for the next sixty years?”

“I think we could
try for seventy.” He whispered, hovering over my lips. Now that we’d had a
taste of each other again, it seemed like having our mouths apart from each
other would physically cause us pain. “And yes, to all of the above.”

***

“Is everything
okay Brandon?” I asked him a few hours later as we sat near the pool after
lunch. He'd gotten oddly quiet all of a sudden.

He thought for
a second before responding, “I'm afraid I'm going to move too fast for you. You
were with Chase and planning a future and family with him up until the
accident. All I've been able to think about is you, I knew there wouldn't ever
be anyone else. Over the last couple months, I tried to only be your friend,
and I would have stayed that way if you asked me to. That didn't stop me from thinking
of everything I would do if I ever got you back though. But now that I have you
again, the only thing the time away from you did, was make me want you more. So
now I'm right back to where I was before we broke up, wanting nothing more than
to buy a house with you and marry you. But I don't know when it would be okay
to do any of that because of what happened. And I know what you said about
raising him with you, but I don't know if that's all you actually want me to do
when it comes to him, just be the guy that helps you raise him. I want to be
the
dad
that raises him,
his
dad. I just don't know if that's
okay with you or if you think I'll be trying to take Chase's place.”

“Brandon,” I
frowned a little, with what we'd been talking about earlier, I thought we were
on the same page. Apparently not. “okay let's clear this all up, so there's no
more confusion. Considering everything we had before, I think we are way beyond
worrying about moving too fast. I want to marry you, more than anything. But I
don't care when that happens, it can happen tomorrow or it can happen two years
from now. I had tried to explain it to Chase, but I don't think he actually
understood that I didn't need to be married just because I was having a baby.
With Chase though, I hadn't been planning a future with him until after he
found out about the baby, I had already known way before that, that I wanted to
marry you.

“I'll admit I
was worried just being with you would be moving too fast after the accident for
other people, but with the way I feel, and after talking to Mom, Bree and
Konrad, I don't think we are. Mom was right, our situation is completely
different, and it doesn't matter what other people think. This is our life
together, not theirs.” I laid down on my back, and put a hand over my eyes to
shield the sun, “Answer me something before I continue. Being his dad, you
really want that?”

He turned onto
his side, his face hovering over mine, “I do.”

“Good.” I
smiled and wrapped a hand around his neck, “I don't want you to just be the guy
that raises him. What you said this morning, was more than perfect. I want you
to be his dad, I want him to be your son. I want you to be my husband and if we
have more kids later on in life, I don't want
them
to be our kids, and
him
”
I pointed to my stomach, “be my kid. I agree he needs to know about Chase, but
you're going to be Dad to him, and he's going to be
ours.
Just like any
other child we have.

“I want you to
be at the rest of the appointments if you want to, and don't worry, Dr. Lowdry
already knows about you. She pulled me aside during my second appointment and
asked about the father, I ended up breaking down and telling her the whole
story. I swear those Doctors are trained to be therapists too. She knows that
Chase died, and she knows you've been there for me. Honestly, she's like Bree
and Mom, I doubt she'll be surprised to see you there. So if you want to be
there, then I would love for you to come with me. I want you to help me name
him, and if it's okay, I want you in the room with me when I deliver. I'm
telling you, I'm not going to pick and choose what you can and can't do, I want
you there for everything. I’ve wanted you there for everything, but I’ve been
denying myself of what I want and pushing my emotions away. Now that we’re done
pretending, I’m ready for it all, but you need to tell me if you're
uncomfortable with any of this.”

“If you were
any other girl, I would be. But you're my world Harper, no matter how strange
our situation may be, being with you and starting a family with you feels
right.”

“I completely
agree.” I whispered against his neck and pressed my lips there twice. “Are we
all clear now? Anything else we need to cover?”

“Will you move
in with me, let me take care of you and marry me?”

“Are you
proposing Brandon Taylor?” I teased, looking up into his brown eyes.

He smiled and
caught my lips with his, “Not until I have a ring for you sweetheart.”

“Good because
that would have been a horrible proposal. And in the words of the man I love,
yes to all of the above.”

B
randon and I
had found a townhouse that weekend and were moving in tomorrow. It was a three
bedroom, two and a half bath, two car garage with a backyard and it was
perfect. It was less than ten minutes away from Mom and Dad's, and even though
they were sad I wouldn't be living with them, they were really happy that
Brandon and I were moving on with our lives. Mom said she was going to set up
another nursery in the room anyway so she could babysit and to insure we would
still come over often. Yesterday we had finished picking out and buying
everything we needed to furnish our new place, and the things that weren't
already stored in Mom and Dad's garage were being delivered tomorrow morning.
We were currently starting the ultrasound at my first appointment with Brandon
since he and I had gotten back together. As suspected, Dr. Lowdry wasn't
surprised to see Brandon, and was genuinely happy he was there with me.

Brandon's
breath caught and he squeezed my hand as soon as Gummy Bear's heartbeat filled
the room and he was on the screen. “Oh my God, Harper.”

I smiled at him
and looked back to the screen. Going through this right now was completely
different than it had been with Chase. It had been almost magical with Chase, emotional
since he died, and felt like a perfect new beginning with Brandon.

“Okay Harper,
as you can see, the baby has already turned head down and dropped. That usually
doesn't happen for a couple more weeks, so unfortunately I
am
going to
have to put you on bedrest. He'll probably still come early, but honestly with
how things are going it could happen at any time now. We need to make sure he
stays in there at least a few more weeks so everything can be fully developed.
If it comes down to it there are medicines we can use to help with that, but I'd
prefer to not do that. So the less active you are now, the better.” Dr. Lowdry
turned to Brandon, “Now I'm counting on you to make sure she takes it easy,
okay?”

He grinned at
me, “I promise she'll be taken care of.”

I rolled my
eyes, he knew I could only handle being babied for so long before I started
going crazy. I usually didn't make it past two days.

The next day
was ridiculous, I wanted to be putting everything away in our new home, but
once the furniture had been moved in, everyone made me lie on the couch and
tell them where I wanted boxes to go. I continued to whine and complain until
Brandon came back with another load of boxes and frozen yogurt from Golden
Spoon for me. That shut me up and I decided to play nice the rest of the day. I
ordered pizza for everyone that helped four hours later when they'd finished,
and we had the house to ourselves by eight. Brandon and I walked from room to
room so I could see how the furniture looked in the rooms, and I couldn't have
been happier with how it turned out. We had just left the new nursery when
Brandon stopped me in the hall.

“Close your
eyes sweetheart.”

“Why?” I
dragged out the word a bit.

Brandon stepped
close and placed his lips to my ear, his fingers gently rubbing my swollen
stomach. “I have a surprise for you, will you please close them?”

I obeyed and he
took my hands to lead me to another room, my jaw dropped when I finally opened
them. “When did you do this?” I glanced around at our bedroom that was dim, the
only light coming from candles, and the huge bouquets of orange lilies. At
least another two dozen lilies had the stems cut off and were lying on the bed.

He kissed me
gently and walked me to the bed, “I made sure you were kept busy for a while.
You really thought Bree wouldn't know where to put the nursery and kitchen
items?” He sat me down and bent over, kissing me again.

“Thank you
Brandon, for everything.”

“Harper, I will
love you forever, and I promise to take care of you and our kids for the rest
of my life.”  He leaned over and pulled something out of a nightstand drawer,
then dropped to one knee, my mouth popped open and my eyes widened. “Will you
please marry me?”

Of course tears
started streaming down my face as I nodded my head and managed to squeak out,
“Yes!” I pulled Brandon's face to mine and kissed him until I couldn't think
straight anymore.

I gasped when
he opened the black box and there lay a thick white gold band with three large
round diamonds on top. He pulled it out and gently placed it on the ring finger
of my left hand. I laughed when the ring instantly fell to one side from the
weight of it and pressed my lips to Brandon's, pulling him onto the bed with
me. His large frame curled around my body as he kissed me passionately and
slowly made his way to my stomach, which he kissed tenderly and told Gummy Bear
that Mommy and Daddy were getting married. There was fire in his eyes when he
brought his face back to mine and began unbuttoning my top. To be honest, with
how big my stomach is, I thought he wouldn't even want me like that right now,
but the way his lips moved over my throat and chest, and his fingers caressed
my body, it didn't seem he thought the same. I was craving to be with him, but
after a while he groaned and fell to his side on the bed, both of us breathing
hard.

“Why did you
stop?”

He'd been
running a hand over his face and it stopped halfway down, “Wait, you're ready?”
I nodded and blushed, he let out a frustrated laugh and pulled me close to his
chest, “So once again you decide you're ready, and something stops us.”

“No
you're
stopping
us.”

“Sweetheart,
trust me when I say I don't want to stop, especially after you telling me this.
But Dr. Lowdry told me we couldn't.”

“What? When?!”
I pulled myself up on my elbow and looked into his hazel eyes.

“When you went
to the bathroom yesterday she told me two things. One, make sure you stay on
the couch or bed. Two, do not have sex with you. She said normally, she
encourages couples to have sex, but with how worried she is that you're going
to go into labor too early, she said we had to refrain.” Brandon smiled and
kissed my cheek, “So naturally, you're ready.”

“I'm sorry
Brandon.”

He cupped my
face and looked at me with bright eyes, “Don't be. When we finally do, it's
going to be amazing.” He kissed my lips, then grabbed my hand to kiss the ring
he'd just placed there. “It's been a long day, let's get some sleep baby.”

***

I woke up
confused at first, but smiled and curled up even more into Brandon's arms when
I realized we were in our place, in our room, in our bed. He had one arm under
my head, the other wrapped lovingly around my stomach. I glanced at my ring and
turned it every which way so the light streaming in through the blinds would
catch perfectly on the diamonds. Brandon's hand started on slow circles when
Gummy Bear's elbow skimmed across my side as he shifted.