Tagan's Child (55 page)

Toby’s tears
subsided whilst I fought tears of my own.

“I suppose I
could make new friends here.”

“Yes of course
you will,” I said, struggling to contain my emotion.

“But I won’t be
the fastest runner at school anymore, will I?”

I laughed as a
tear dripped down both my cheeks. “You never know,” I said,
sweeping a curl away from his face.

“Don’t cry
Auntie Sophie.” I hugged him close to me. My own future didn’t look
nearly so bright.

“I’m hungry,
can we have some food now?” he asked, pulling away.

“Yes sure,” I
replied, using the palms of my hands to hastily wipe away my
tears.

“Let’s see what
we’ve got shall we?” I said as breezily as I could. I opened the
lid of the picnic basket. Unsurprisingly, there was an array of
delicious food, cold meats, mini pies, fresh fruit and the most
sumptuous looking mini cream cakes, carefully packaged in their own
individual boxes. “One thing’s for sure, you’ll never go hungry
here,” I laughed.

Toby tucked in
and I managed to eat some fruit.

I looked across
at my beloved nephew and had an epiphany. I wasn’t losing him, I
was allowing him to become what he was destined to become. It would
have been selfish and wrong of me to stand in his way. Katie always
wanted the best for him. This way wasn’t he getting more than she
could have ever dreamed of? As for me, the one thing I had come to
realise was that life never stood still. One of life’s certainties
was change. It was only pessimists who thought change was always a
bad thing. Maybe my life would turn out better than I feared.

I watched Toby
tuck into a well filled roll. I felt as if a big weight had been
lifted off my shoulders, I no longer had to worry about what would
become of Toby or fret that the only family he had was me.
Miraculously we had discovered a warm and loving family, who not
only happened to be well-placed but were royalty. It was the stuff
of dreams. Okay, the fact they were super-human presented some
problems, it’s not every day you discover your long lost relatives
are from some master-race who live on a completely different planet
but hey, that’s what life is. Unpredictable. What mattered was that
whatever happened to me, Toby would never be alone and that had
settled one of my biggest fears.

Toby laid down
on the rug next to me. “I’m stuffed.”

“I’m not
surprised, it’s not that long since we ate lunch,” I chuckled.

I settled down
on my front.

“Ooh that feels
good,” I said, enjoying the feel of the sun on my back, I closed my
eyes. I was starting to feel more relaxed than I had felt in a
while.

“Auntie
Sophie?”

“Mmm,” I
responded without opening my eyes.

“Did you have
an argument with uncle Ahran?”

I sighed and
propped my head up on my elbow.

“What makes you
think that?”

“The night you
left, you looked really angry and then I saw uncle Ahran and he
looked really unhappy.”

Kids always
understood more than you gave them credit for.

“We...we had a
disagreement.”

“Is he your
boyfriend?”

I snorted. “No,
he’s not my boyfriend.”

“When he took
me to see his farm he said he didn’t expect me to understand but he
was sorry, what did he mean?”

“I’m not sure
what he meant.” What was he apologising for? Did he feel
responsible for me leaving or was he saying sorry because of his
role in Katie’s death? I felt angry he’d said anything to Toby, he
was a smart boy and saying something cryptic like that was bound to
have him asking questions.

“I wouldn’t
mind if he was your boyfriend, if that’s what you are worried
about.”

If things had
been different, I would have appreciated Toby’s blessing, but
unfortunately, after what Ahran had done, we could never be
together.

When we arrived
back at the palace Leylana was there to greet us at the door and
looking relieved we had returned in one piece. “Ah! There you both
are, I was beginning to wonder where you were,” she said.

I understood
how she felt. I knew what it was like to say goodbye to someone
never to see them again. I bet a day never went by without her
thinking about her son and what might have been. I knew I would
always wonder whether Katie would still be here if Toby hadn’t gone
to that party. Leylana had found a grandson she never knew she had
and he was all she had left of her son, she wasn’t going to let him
out of her sight easily.

“Did you have
fun?”

“Yeah,” Toby
replied

“We had a
lovely time and thank you for the picnic,” I said.

“You are
welcome. Halsan has gone to the stud but will be back at seven for
dinner. Please feel free to use the sauna and pool and relax in the
meantime.”

Staying here
really was no hardship. “Yes that sounds nice. Would you like to
join me?” I thought it might be nice to get to know her a bit
better.

She looked a
little taken aback by my suggestion. I think the idea I might want
her company hadn’t occurred to her and she hesitated. “Yes, I think
I will,” she replied, accepting my offer.

“Toby, are you
going to join us?” I asked.

“No thanks,
Sulaan is teaching me the Ramian version of chess, I’ve beaten him
twice already,” he said with a big grin.

Leylana and I
laughed.

“Sulaan is a
sore loser,” she said. “I’ll meet you at the pool in twenty
minutes?”

“Er, okay,
although I’m not sure I know how to get there,” I confessed.

“I’ll show you
Auntie Sophie,” Toby said with exaggerated patience.

He made me
smile.

When I was
ready, he escorted me to the pool and then left to challenge
Sulaan. The pool room was beautiful. It had a huge vaulted glass
ceiling and exquisite murals of reclining Greek gods, goddesses and
cherubic children dancing in circles adorning its walls. It was
like being transported to the Uffizi in Florence. I still had my
swimsuit on from the beach so I took a shower to wash off the sand.
The warm water smarted on my skin. I had caught a little bit too
much sun. I picked up a white fluffy robe, one of several hanging
by the shower, and made my way back to the pool. I draped it on one
of the reclining sun loungers and slipped into the water, it was
cool against my hot skin but it felt good. I started to swim
lengths. The last time I’d been for a run was before Toby was
kidnapped, I hadn’t done any regular physical exercise since then
and I could feel it in my muscles. Visiting Toby would be a good
opportunity to regain some fitness, I thought to myself. I settled
into a fairly swift pace and was reminded how therapeutic exercise
could be. When I exerted myself I was able to clear my mind and
quieten the constant chatter in my head, not to mention that when I
was gainfully occupied it stopped my thoughts straying into
dangerous Ahran territory.

I glided to a
halt at one end as Leylana came into the pool room, wearing a
scarlet swimsuit and matching sarong around her waist. She was a
beautiful woman with a to-die-for figure and wouldn’t have looked
out of place in a Miss World competition. I’d be more than happy if
I looked like that at her age. No wait, I would never look like
that at her age, I would look old and wrinkly. Now that was a
depressing thought.

Leylana entered
the pool and began to swim gracefully.

“The water
feels cool.”

“It’s nice. I
had a bit too much sun today.”

“You must be
careful, the sun is strong here and your pale skin will burn
easily,” she warned.

Our voices
echoed around the pool room as we spoke and swam.

“Its winter
back home and we didn’t have much of a summer this year so it must
be two years since my body has seen any sun,” I said. “What are
your winters like here?”

“We don’t
really have one. The rains come for about six weeks and the
temperature drops then, but mostly it is dry and warm.”

“So you never
have snow?”

“Not here. It’s
different up in the mountains of course.”

I swam a few
more lengths and by the time I had finished I was out of breath. “I
think that’s me done,” I said, climbing out of the pool.

Leylana was
still gliding her way through the water not showing any signs of
tiring. “I’m just going to do a few more.”

I retrieved my
gown and wrapped myself in it before sitting down on one of the two
recliners. I picked up a magazine from the coffee table between the
two chairs and started to flick through it. It must have been the
Dinaran equivalent of Homes and Gardens and I marvelled at the
beautiful homes displayed in it. They had a Scandinavian look about
them and all were tastefully furnished with gardens that bore a
distinct resemblance to some of the show gardens I’d seen at the
Chelsea Flower show.

Leylana got out
of the pool and put on one of the robes. She came and sat on the
recliner next to me. “That feels good,” she said. “I like to
swim.”

“Yes me
too.”

“I hope your
stay this time has been a little less traumatic than last
time.”

For a moment I
thought she was referring to mine and Ahran’s parting of ways but I
guessed she meant the search for Toby. “Yes, not an experience I
would like to repeat in a hurry,” I confirmed.

“You have great
courage, Sophie, I’m not sure many Ramians would have done what you
did.”

“Ahran was an
able bodyguard.” No matter what I thought of him now, he had saved
my life on a number of occasions and I would always be thankful to
him for that.

“From what he
told us, you did a good job of taking care of yourself,” she
said.

I quickly
repressed the feeling of conceited happiness the thought of Ahran’s
admiration stirred. “I didn’t have much choice. I think Toby was
the bravest one of us all.”

Leylana nodded
in agreement. “He is a remarkable little boy. You and your sister
have done a very good job of raising him.”

Her compliment
made me feel self-conscious. “I’m not sure I can take any credit
for Toby’s good upbringing.”

“You do
yourself an injustice, Sophie, Toby talks of you with great love
and affection.”

After much
self-doubt about whether I was any good as a parent it felt good to
be told that.

“Tell me, what
was his mother like?” Leylana settled back onto the recliner.

I pictured
Katie and couldn’t keep the smile from my face. “She was a very
kind and caring person. She pretty much brought me up. When my
father died my mother went to pieces and found it very difficult to
cope with two children. It was my sister who made sure my nose was
wiped and my school uniform was ironed.”

“You must miss
her very much.”

“I do, I still
can’t quite believe she’s gone.”

Her eyes took
on a distant look. “Yes, I don’t think you ever get over the loss
of someone you love.”

“You’re right.”
I hesitated. “Katie may not have known your son for very long but I
think she loved him. I could never quite forgive him for leaving
her with a baby but for some reason she never held it against him.
She would never have a bad word said against him.”

This pleased
the Queen. “Tagan was... ‘charis-matic’, is that the right
word?”

I nodded.

“Yes, he was
very charismatic. Ever since he was a little boy he was always
popular and had lots of friends although he and Ahran were
inseparable. They used to make my hair go grey at the things they
got up to.”

I smiled
inwardly. I couldn’t imagine Leylana ever having grey hairs but I
understood her sentiment. It was easy to picture two adventurous
boys making camps, climbing trees and getting up to mischief. I was
beginning to realise I would never be able to avoid Ahran here, the
King and Queen thought too much of him, and so, just as I was
coming to terms with Toby’s future, I was also becoming more
resigned that, sooner or later, I was going to come across Ahran. I
could never forgive him for what he had done but I could learn to
accept that many people thought highly of him and that avoiding him
was going to be nigh on impossible.

“Ahran was the
brother that Tagan never had, he took his death very badly and
blamed himself.”

If he only felt
half the pain I felt when I lost Katie then it gave me a sense of
twisted satisfaction to know he had suffered too.

“It is one of
the reasons why he went to Earth to search for Toby. He felt he
owed it to Tagan to find him.”

“How did he
know that Tagan had a child?” This was something that had puzzled
me. I turned around and put my feet on the floor so I could look at
Leylana without craning my neck.

“When Tagan
died we were too distressed to go through his personal effects.
Ahran offered to take care of it for us. He listened to Tagan’s
phone messages and found one from your sister informing him that
she was carrying his son. Tagan died before he had the chance to
listen to it.” Leylana’s voice cracked and her eyes filled with
tears.

“Oh, don’t
cry,” I said and moved onto her sun lounger to put an arm around
her. I could feel a lump forming in my throat.

“You never get
over the death of your child,” she said, her voice thick with
emotion. “Eventually you learn to live with the pain but it never
goes away. Outliving your child is one of the cruellest fates there
is.”

I could no
longer hold back my tears as she began to sob. Toby was the closest
thing I had to my own child and I knew I would lay down my own life
for him. I could only imagine what Leylana had gone through. We
embraced each other as we cried together, united in our grief. She
cried for the loss of her son and I cried for the loss of my
sister.