Tagan's Child (54 page)

“Okay,” he
replied.

“Thank you for
lunch, it was delicious,” I said, standing up.

“You are
welcome Sophie,” Halsan responded. “It’s nice to have you
back.”

I left the
three of them at the table and went to my room.

I sat on the
edge of the bed. Thinking back to when I was last here, it seemed
like an eon ago, or like it had happened to someone else. My mind
drifted back to the morning after my night with Ahran, it had been
incredible and I didn’t want the recent revelation to sully the
happiness I had felt then. If I could just compartmentalise the
Ahran I had known before Talina had spilled the beans, then at
least those memories would provide me with some solace. But the
problem though with allowing one memory through, was that it opened
the floodgates to all the other memories of the time Ahran and I
had spent together. I had pretty successfully managed to bury them
but now they and their associated emotions flooded my
consciousness. It was more than I could bear and I curled into a
ball on the bed trying to shield myself from the onslaught. I began
to cry deep wracking, self-pitying sobs until every muscle in my
stomach ached from the exertion.

Slowly, my
tears began to subside until I just whimpered like some poor,
pathetic injured animal. It was the tip of the iceberg as far as my
grieving process was concerned but in some ways it was a relief to
realise I had survived it. There had been a point where I felt like
it might consume me.

I pulled myself
up off the bed, went into the bathroom and stared at myself in the
mirror. The puffiness around my eyes would easily give me away. I
folded the hand towel and held it under the running water before
holding it against my eyes, the coolness soothed a little. I
repeated the process several times and reappraised my appearance.
With a bit of make-up I might just get away with it, even if my
lips did look like I’d had Botox.

I retrieved my
make-up bag from my rucksack and smoothed some concealer over the
dark circles under my eyes. I put the rest of my make up on before
slipping into a swimming costume and some lighter trousers. I
decided I would do my damnedest not to let any thoughts of Ahran
spoil my day with Toby. I raked my hair into a pony tail and went
to join him at the front of the palace. He was waiting for me on
the top step.

“Hey there
monkey,” I said as cheerfully as I could. “Up for some serious
sandcastle building and hole digging then?” I had to admit the idea
of hiding with Toby in one of his holes didn’t seem like such a bad
idea.

“Sure am, I’ve
put some spades Grams gave me in the boot of the car,” he said,
pointing to a shiny black hover car with blacked out windows. It
was one of three waiting outside the palace.

“Excellent,
shall we go then?”

“Here is some
food in case you get hungry,” Leylana called as she came out of the
palace followed by a servant carrying a basket.

“Thanks very
much.” We made our way down the steps and one of the bodyguards put
our picnic in the boot.

Leylana joined
us by the car. “There are some blankets in the car in case you get
cold.” Although, why she thought we would be cold I had no idea,
the temperature must have been approaching thirty degrees. “There’s
some sunscreen in the picnic basket too,” she added. She was
hovering like an anxious mother sending her child off for his first
day at school.

“Thanks,” I
gave her a little hug and she hugged me back.

“Have fun you
two.” I think if I had said, ‘Why don’t you join us?’ She would
have been in the car like a flash but I had no intention of doing
so, this was mine and Toby’s day.

The doors shut
silently and we left the palace behind us.

I glanced at
the rigid backs of the body guards sat in the front seats. I didn’t
want to say too much to Toby in the car, I didn’t know how much
would get back to the King and Queen.

“So, are you
okay?” I asked, gently nudging Toby’s leg.

“Yeah,” he said
nodding, “but I’ve missed you.”

“I’m sorry
Tobes, I didn’t mean to leave you like that.” I hadn’t worked out
what I was going to say to him and he’d caught me off-guard. I
thought about it for a moment. “Somebody said something very
hurtful which meant I couldn’t stay any longer, I had to go home
and have some time to think.”

“Was it
something uncle Ahran said?”

I paused. “No
it was somebody else, but it doesn’t matter now. I’m really sorry
for leaving without telling you, I won’t do it again. I promise.” I
took hold of his hand and gave it a squeeze.

“You seem to be
getting on very well with your grandparents, do you like them?”

“Yeah. Paps can
be quite strict sometimes but Grams lets me do whatever I
want.”

“You are very
important to them.”

“I know,” he
said in that way that kids do, when they’re not being boastful,
just honest.

“Where did you
get their names ‘Paps’ and ‘Grams’ from?”

“Well, I didn’t
think I could call a King and Queen grandma and granddad so I asked
them what grandchildren call their grandparents in Ramia it was
something like Papr..Paproucha and Grama...Grammour but I didn’t
think I’d be able to remember them so I just call them Paps and
Grams. I think they quite like it.”

“Yes, they seem
very happy with their new titles,” I agreed.

He nodded.
“Where’s Mungo?”

“He’s staying
with Sandie at the moment.”

“Can you bring
him here?”

“I don’t know
about that,” I said doubtfully. “I’m not sure whether animals can
travel through the portal.”

“Well, I don’t
see why they can’t if humans can,” he argued, keen to stifle any
objections.

“Have you asked
your Paps and Grams?”

“I asked Grams
whether I could have my dog and she said she would ask Paps.”

The bitterness
had faded somewhat since I’d come back here. I suppose I felt more
resigned now. I was beginning to come to terms with things being
pretty much out of my control. The best place for Toby at the
moment was with the King and Queen and it was foolish of me to try
and fight it. It was a harsh realisation but somehow it soothed the
deep-rooted anxiety the thought of losing him again had caused.
Things were going to be different from now on, that was for sure,
but if his reaction to me was anything to go by, I was still
important to him.

The car pulled
into the car park next to the beach. It was a bit busier today. I
guessed it being a weekend made a difference. We got a few stares
as we walked across the sand with our six burly bodyguards but at
least they were more appropriately dressed this time in tailored
shorts and polo shirts. We headed to the far end of the beach where
it was quieter and I laid the picnic mat out on the sand. The sand
was hot under our feet and the sea was a shimmering turquoise. We
stripped down to our swimwear and I noticed my skin was decidedly
paler than Toby’s.

He began to dig
a hole. “Let me put some sunscreen on you.” He put his spade down
and came over reluctantly.

“And put this
on,” I handed him a hat from one of the bags.

“Do I have to?”
He protested.

“Yes you do,
the sun is strong and you need to protect your head.” He put it on
his head grumpily. I started to rub cream into his little body. It
felt so good to be doing something normal with Toby. I could almost
forget we were in another universe and that the last two weeks had
happened.

Just as I
finished rubbing cream into the backs of his legs, one of the
bodyguards leapt in front of us. Both Toby and I looked up in
surprise. Three boys had been kicking a ball about nearby and the
ball had come flying in our direction. The bodyguard intercepted it
and threw it back. He spoke to the boys sharply. His tone struck me
as a little unnecessary, they had only been having a bit of fun.
The group of boys quickly moved away. I frowned at our overzealous
bodyguard and he looked back at me, his face expressionless as he
reassumed his position on some nearby rocks. Was this close
surveillance really necessary? Our minders for the day had
obviously been well briefed. The King wasn’t taking any chances
with Toby’s safety.

Toby returned
to his hole and was starting to make some headway. My thoughts
drifted to Bazeera’s palace and an image of Ahran strapped to a
chair, beaten to a pulp. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
After witnessing what Bazeera’s men had been capable of, the King
had every reason to protect his grandson so rigorously. However,
what bothered me more, was that the image of Ahran battered and
bruised made my heart ache for him. I sat on the picnic mat and
watched Toby’s progress. What kind of sick and twisted woman felt
like that about her sister’s killer? I felt so confused. Perhaps
some strenuous exercise might help. “I’m going to have a dip,” I
said, getting up. “Are you coming?”

“No, its okay,”
he said, without looking up. “I’ve just got to… dig… a bit…
deeper,” he said realising his hole wasn’t quite deep enough to
conceal him.

I ran into the
cool water hoping the contrast in temperature might shock some
sense into me. I shivered as I glided into breast stroke position
and then powered out some front crawl strokes. After ten minutes of
considerable exertion I made my way out of the water not sure I was
feeling any better. Toby was hunkered down in his hole, surveying
the landscape for any potential threat.

“You’ve done
well there.”

“Yeah,” he said
as he stood up looking around for his spade. “I’m just going to
make more of a mound around the edge,” he said distractedly. “Can
you see my spade?”

“There,” I
said, pointing to a handle sticking up out of the pile of spoil he
had created.

He retrieved it
and carried on digging and I smiled at his determination.

I dried myself
off, feeling energised after my swim but my feelings for Ahran
showed no signs of improvement. I sat down in frustration. Maybe
avoiding him was not the solution. Maybe I should give him the
chance to explain. Isn’t that what they sometimes did back home
when the perpetrator was given the opportunity to apologise to
their victim? Perhaps that would give me some closure and I would
be able to move on. But the thought of facing him sent my stomach
into all sorts of contortions. No, staying away from him was the
only course of action for now. I sighed and picked up two buckets
and another spade.

“Hey, how about
putting some turrets on your defence?” I suggested, making my way
over to Toby and handing him a bucket. We set about filling them
with sand.

“I know your
stay here so far has been new and exciting but how do you feel
about staying here more long term?” I said, striking up the
conversation about Toby’s future.

“I don’t know,
I guess it would be alright if you lived here too.”

I sat back on
my heels and stopped what I was doing. “I’m not sure I can do that
Tobes.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’ve
got the shop to run and friends back on Earth.”

“Can’t they
come and visit you here?”

“No one back
home can ever know about Ramia.”

“Why not?” he
asked.

“You need to
understand that it would be very serious if our government, or
anyone for that matter, were to find out about Ramia. No one at
home knows that a race of superhumans exists, it would only be a
matter of time before they would travel to this beautiful world
with all the amazing things it has to offer and that is something
Ramians absolutely do not want. It would probably cause some kind
of war.”

“What like
World War III?”

“Maybe,” I
speculated.

“Oh.” The
implications of what I was saying began to dawn on him.

“Nor can anyone
find out about you. You are very special because you are half human
and half Ramian, you have special abilities that scientists back
home would be very keen to find out about. Everyone would want to
be like you, to run like you, to never get sick like you. You would
never be able to live a normal life again.” I didn’t want to scare
him but I wanted him to understand the gravity of the
situation.

“So I’ll have
to stay here then.”

“For the time
being, yes. But I hope one day, when Bazeera is no longer a threat,
you will be able to come home to visit.”

Toby started to
cry. “So I won’t be able to see Adam and my friends at school and
Auntie Audrey?” he asked through his tears.

My heart went
out to him. He had been torn from everything and everyone he knew.
I put my arms around him. “You will be able to one day, I promise.
And for the time being you’ve still got me.”

“But you said
you won’t be able to live here.”

“Probably not,
but I will be able to visit as often as I can.” I was trying to
offer him anything that would comfort him. “And you’ve got two
grandparents that love you very much, that’s something you don’t
have at home, and I’m sure that you will be able to have Mungo
here.” I wasn’t sure, but I would have promised him the world if it
made him feel any better.

“You have an
incredible future ahead of you Toby. I pulled away from him so I
could look into his eyes. “You are going to be King one day,
imagine that. You will have so many opportunities and new
experiences that no child on Earth will ever have. You mustn’t be
sad you should think of yourself as very, very lucky.”

It was at this
point that it struck me. Toby was far better off in Ramia than on
Earth. What more could someone want for a child? It no longer
seemed to matter whether he would come back home, the best thing
for Toby was for him to build a new life for himself here. I would
have to learn to live a different life too. One where I wasn’t his
guardian, I would relinquish that responsibility to Halsan and
Leylana and somehow I would build a life on my own. On the one
hand, I felt happy he had such a wonderful life ahead of him, but
on the other hand I felt more scared than I had ever felt before. I
would be completely alone.