Authors: Don Calame
Valerie looks up and smiles. “Matt. You came.”
“Yeah.” I nod. “I’ve been here for a while.”
“Have you seen Kelly?”
“Yeah,” I say. “I think she left. She had a fight with Tony.”
“Tony’s a bastard.” Only Valerie’s French accent could make this sound so cute.
“I’m sort of getting that.”
“He cheated on her with like five different girls. He’s a pig. She deserves someone better.”
“Yeah,” I say. Maybe Coop was right all along. Maybe Kelly did invite me to this party for a reason. Of course, that doesn’t explain why she doesn’t even know my name. “You want a beer?”
“I hate beer. It tastes like piss.” Valerie spins herself around and around on the swing, winding up the chains. She lets go and twirls back fast. “Push me, okay?”
“Sure.” This is going to cause me much agony, I know it, but what can I do? If I’m nice to Valerie, maybe she’ll tell Kelly.
I move behind her and place my hands on her back. Her skin feels warm through her shirt. “Ready?”
“Go for it.”
I give her a little push, and my muscles are cursing me for doing it. She pumps her legs lightly. We get into a nice kind of slow rhythm. Valerie swinging out into the night air, kicking her feet up, swaying back down into my
hands for another push. This would all be picture perfect if my arms didn’t feel like two blazing Duraflame logs.
“You doing anything fun this summer?” Valerie asks. “Any exciting plans?”
The only thing that jumps to mind is our goal to see a naked girl.
“Not really,” I say. “How about you?”
“We have a cabin on Lake William,” Valerie says. “We go there sometimes in the summer.”
“Sounds nice.”
“It’s okay.”
“I’ve never been to Lake William.” I give Valerie another gentle push. “Do they have boats and stuff there?” I’m trying to figure out a way to bring this conversation around to Kelly. To try and find out what she really thinks about me. But it’s got to come naturally. I don’t want to sound too pushy.
“Yeah,” Valerie says. “My brothers love all that stuff. Waterskiing, windsurfing, tubing.”
“Not you?”
“Swallowing mouthfuls of nasty lake water is not my idea of fun. I’m more of a book-on-the-beach girl.”
“I can see that.” Another push. “So, you ever bring friends up there?” I’m hoping she says she brings Kelly, so that we can start talking about her.
Valerie shoots me a mischievous look over her shoulder as she swings back toward me. “Oh, real subtle, Matt.”
Oh, my God. Can she read my mind? “Sorry. I’m, uh . . . just . . . I was only wondering if —”
“I don’t think my parents would be too happy if I brought a
boy
with me to our cabin.” Valerie laughs. “Though I’d love to see their faces if I asked.”
“No, I wasn’t . . . That’s not . . .”
“Besides,” Valerie says, “I can’t imagine Kelly would be too happy with me.”
What does she mean by that? Is it because Kelly likes me? Or is it because she usually invites Kelly? I can’t tell if she’s serious or not. She must be making fun of me. What’s going on here?
“That’s pretty forward of you, inviting yourself to my cabin like that.” Valerie chuckles. “And I thought you were shy.”
“But I wasn’t inviting . . .” The words are fish-hooked in my throat. I feel my whole face get hot. “Never mind. Let’s just . . .”
Valerie is laughing hard now. “It’s okay, Matt. I’m just teasing you.”
“Oh.” I exhale.
“I bet you’re blushing,” Valerie says. “I bet your cheeks are beet red.”
“Yeah, well . . .” I keep pushing Valerie on the swing. I don’t know what to say anymore. We’re both quiet.
“I’m sorry.” Valerie drags her feet on the ground and stops the swing. My arms rejoice. She turns to look at me. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you. Well, I
did
mean it.
A little. But I’m sorry.” Valerie smiles at me. She’s trying not to laugh, I can tell.
“It’s okay.” She’s looking at me so sweetly. I figure I might as well take advantage of her feeling sorry and go for broke. “But . . . I was curious —”
“There you are!” It’s Coop striding toward us. “I’ve been looking all over for you, dude. You’re harder to find than a first-edition Watchmen.” Coop gives a half smile to Valerie. “Hey, Val.”
“Cooper.”
Coop grabs my shoulders and steers me away from the swing. “Excuse us. I just need to borrow Matt here for a little while.”
“Sure,” Valerie says.
I look back over my shoulder, desperate to finish talking with Valerie. But I don’t have the physical or emotional strength right now to resist Coop.
“What are you doing?” I say. “I was talking to her.”
Coop shakes his head like whatever I’m saying means nothing. “It’s
Mission Impossible time,
dawg.”
Coop’s got his arm around my shoulder. We’re headed back toward the house.
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means,” Coop says, “we’re about to accomplish our summer’s goal
and
get that picture for Sean’s sister. As long as you don’t shit your pants again.”
“
IT’S MANDY REAGAN,
dude. She’s here. And I overheard her asking her friend for a condom,” Coop whispers to me as we head upstairs. The steps are a challenge for me, but if I lean from side to side, I manage them okay.
“So what?” I say.
“She said she’s meeting a guy up in Ronnie’s parents’ bedroom at eleven thirty.” Coop raises his eyebrows. “So, we hide in the closet and get a live sex show, dude. Just like they have in Amsterdam.”
“You’ve never been to Amsterdam.”
“I’ve seen movies about it.”
“Who’s the guy?” I say.
Coop laughs. “Who cares? He could be Ronald McDonald and it wouldn’t matter, because that’s not where I’ll be looking.”
I’m torn, actually. The idea of seeing a hot girl having sex is more than a little enticing. But I really wanted to hear what Valerie was going to say about Kelly.
Sean’s waiting for us in the upstairs hallway. “All clear,” he says.
We make our way into the room at the end of the hall. It looks very much like a parents’ bedroom. The bed perfectly made with a brown comforter, pillows on both sides stacked three deep. Nothing on the floors. Perfume and cologne bottles neatly placed on the dresser, right beside a glass jewelry box. It even
smells
like a parents’ room. A sort of swirling mix of leather, soap, and lavender.
“Over here,” Coop says, pointing to the walk-in closet. “If we keep the door cracked just a bit, we’ll be able to see out but they won’t be able to see in.”
“I don’t know.” My mind is still out in the yard with Valerie. “What if we get caught?”
“We’re not going to get caught,” Coop says. “Trust me.”
“And even if we do,” Sean says, “what are they gonna do? Chase us into the party buck naked?”
Coop looks at his watch. “Five minutes to showtime.” He walks over to the bedside table and clicks on the lamp.
“What the hell are you doing?” I say.
“He’s setting the mood,” Sean says. “We want it romantic.”
Coop laughs. “Yeah, that’s what we want. Romance. Followed quickly by some filthy, raunchy monkey love.”
“They’re going to know someone was in here,” I say.
Coop looks skyward. “People leave lights on in their rooms all the time. They won’t even think twice about it. Besides, this way we’ll get a better look and get a clearer picture.” He waves his cell phone camera in the air.
Coop moves to the closet and holds open the door. “Gentleman, please.” He gestures inside. Sean hurries in. I go next and Coop follows, pulling the door shut behind him, leaving a one-inch slit for us to peer through. “Okay, we need to arrange ourselves for optimum viewage. Sean, you kneel on the floor. Matt, you stand behind Sean.”
Sean and I get into position.
“Good,” Coop says. “And I’ll just peek in from the side here. Like this.” Coop stands next to Sean and leans over, his head floating around my chest.
We have a pretty good view of the bed. The light Coop turned on does make it easier to see. Now that we’re here, I feel myself getting fired up.
“This is gonna be awesome,” Sean says.
“We should’ve made some popcorn.” Coop laughs at his own joke.
“We should be quiet now,” I say. “Just in case they’re early.”
“Okay, Mom,” Coop says.
“Hey, Coop, can we switch? My legs are cramping up.”
“Suck it up, dude.” Coop swats the top of Sean’s head.
“I’m serious,” Sean says.
We hear voices down the hall.
“Shut up,” Coop orders. “They’re coming.”
I hear a guy’s voice getting closer. “Ronnie won’t care.” It sounds slightly familiar.
“Are you sure?” A girl who I assume must be Mandy.
“Whatever. He’s passed out in the backyard.”
Mandy enters first. She’s wearing a tight pink belly shirt and a short denim skirt. Oh, my God. This is going to be good.
The guy enters. And he’s definitely not Ronald McDonald.
Tony Grillo shuts the bedroom door and locks it. Mandy does a sexy twirl that brings her up close against Tony. She pulls a condom from the back pocket of her skirt and holds it up like she’s doing some kind of commercial. “Lexi loaned me one.”
“Really?” Tony laughs. “Are you gonna have to give it back to her when we’re done?”
Mandy laughs and smacks Tony’s chest. “Gross.”
I am excited and terrified all at once.
Sean emits a small soft groan. I don’t know if it’s pain from his leg cramp or if it’s an I-can’t-believe-what-I’m-about-to-see moan. Either way, he better shut up or I’m going to kill him.
Tony pulls Mandy’s T-shirt up and over her head. She’s wearing a lacy pink push-up bra, and I think I might faint. It’s really going to happen. My first live naked girl.
Mandy returns the favor and lifts Tony’s polo shirt over his head. His chest is carved from stone. His stomach is ripped. Mandy runs her hands down Tony’s body like she’s worshiping it. “Wow,” she says.
Sean whimpers again. It’s definitely pain this time.
Mandy unbuttons Tony’s pants and lets them drop to the floor. His legs are like sequoias.
Tony unzips Mandy’s jean skirt at the side. He squats down and tugs the skirt off her hips, pulling it to the floor. She helps him out by doing a little hip shimmy, which makes me have to shut my eyes before I totally lose control.
I hear the faint, electronic click of Coop’s cell phone camera taking a picture.
Mandy freezes. “Did you hear something?”
“No,” Tony says, burying his face in her neck.
Sean grunts loudly. I feel him shift on the floor.
“There. What was that?” Mandy asks.
Sean loses his balance and the back of his head smashes hard into my groin.
“Ooof.” All my breath is forced from my lungs. I lean forward, cracking my head against the door —
— which flies open.
“What the fuck?” Tony stares at us huddling in the closet.
Mandy shrieks and clutches herself.
“Here it is,” Coop says, picking a phantom something off the closet floor. “Found it, guys. Sorry to interrupt. You can go back to whatever it was you were doing.”
Coop is the first to bolt. He runs to the bedroom door, unlocks it, and flees before Tony can get his pants back on.
Sean is right on Coop’s heels.
I’m momentarily paralyzed. Tony meets my eyes.
“You!” He straightens and points. His pants fall back around his ankles.
I don’t wait to confirm his accusation. My legs are still in horrible pain, but it’s amazing how a shot of pure fear can get you moving.
“SPLIT UP!” COOP YELLS
as he bounds down the staircase, with Sean right behind him. “He can’t get all three of us.”
I scramble down the steps after them. I think I’m running fast, but Coop and Sean are leaving me in their dust.
My left heel slips off the edge of one of the steps, and I’m bobsledding down the stairs on my ass. I feel the burn of the carpet through my jeans. The staccato pounding on my tailbone. Despite the pain, it works out pretty well because I make it down to the first floor much faster than I would have otherwise.
Some kids in the family room are laughing and pointing at me, but I don’t have time to be embarrassed. Tony is charging me, pulling his shirt over his head, taking four steps at a time.