She looked at Hortense, her gaze level. ‘I know she played around with John who had nothing except what Daddy handed him on a plate, but that was just to satisfy her lust. She would never have married him, I only hope he realizes that.’ She paused and looked down at her hands. ‘Perhaps when she marries this man she’ll move far away from here, I never want to set eyes on the bitch again.’
It was not like Jo to be so bitter but Hortense knew something of what she must be going through. ‘I can understand that,’ she said softly. ‘But blood is thicker than water, hon, and Melia is your sister.’
‘Why didn’t she think of that when she took my man!’ Josephine took her hand. ‘I know Binnie did you wrong, Hortense, but he’s never once strayed, not since he met you. Now isn’t that the truth?’
Hortense swallowed hard. ‘I know all that, Jo.’ She spoke with difficulty. ‘But he made my boys illegitimate, how can I forget or forgive that?’
‘What would you have done if he had told you the truth in the beginning?’ Josephine asked quietly. Hortense thought about it, what would she have done? Jo answered the question for her.
‘You would have missed out on some of the happiest years of your life that’s what. At least now you are legally wed, isn’t that good enough for you?’
‘I don’t know.’ Hortense sighed. ‘I want him like hell and yet there’s a pain inside me that won’t shift.’
‘Do you want to live the rest of your life without him?’ Josephine asked. ‘Think carefully about that, Hortense.’
Hortense bit her lip. The prospect of forever being alone without Binnie was terrible and yet he needed to be punished for what he had done. ‘I suppose not,’ she said at last.
‘Well, then, you’d better move yourself because John told me that Binnie is going to book a passage back home to England.’ Josephine spoke sharply.
Hortense felt as if a great void had opened up before her. She stared out of the window, trying to control the rising tide of panic that threatened to choke her. Binnie, gone, out of her life, out of the country. She could not bear the thought.
‘Oh my Lord!’ She put her hands over her face. ‘What am I going to do?’
‘Go to him before it’s too late, tell him that you will try to make a go of it,’ Josephine said gently. ‘Give him and your marriage a chance before it’s too late. Now come on, let’s have tea, I’m starving.’ She patted her stomach and smiled. ‘I am eating for two, if the old wives’ tales are to be believed.’
She sighed. ‘You two were so happy, you were the envy of all of us. Just think about what I’ve said, hon, and get him back before it’s too late. You can’t do anything tonight but tomorrow, go see Binnie, talk to him.’
They had tea together, small crusts of freshly baked bread and a bowl of Mexican chilli. Hortense hardly ate anything; her thoughts were on Binnie packing his few belongings and making for England. Just to think of it twisted her stomach into knots.
‘You’re lucky with Justine,’ Josephine said, her mouth full of meat and beans. ‘I wish I could get a cook like her.’ She smiled ruefully. ‘But then I wouldn’t trust John to be in the same house as her, she’s a beautiful girl.’
‘You’re right,’ she said, putting down her fork, her food tasted like sawdust anyway. ‘I will see Binnie and tell him we’ll try again.’ She felt suddenly released, free and almost happy. ‘I don’t say I won’t give him hell whenever we have a showdown over something but I will try to heal the breach between us.’
‘Good!’ Josephine said warmly. ‘I’m really glad, sis, you and Binnie go together like two sides of the same coin. Unlike me and John.’
‘But is he behaving better now?’ Hortense asked and Josephine looked up and met her eyes.
‘I doubt it but at least he is being more discreet.’ She smiled. ‘And I think he is pleased there’s a baby on the way, it’s good for his manly pride you know.’ She looked up at the dust trail appearing at the end of the street. ‘Talk of the devil, here he comes if I’m not mistaken.’ Jo led the way onto the veranda and Hortense went to stand beside her sister, her arm around her waist.
John drew the horses to a halt and to Hortense’s surprise he jumped down from the carriage and strode towards the house. ‘Something’s wrong,’ Josephine said softly, ‘he always looks like that when he’s bringing bad news.’
‘Got something I think you’d like to hear.’ He spoke directly to Hortense and she felt fear clutch at her stomach.
‘What?’ She tried to sound calm but it was as though a thousand birds were twittering inside her head.
‘Binnie’s gone.’
‘Gone, what do you mean?’
‘He didn’t see any point in staying any longer. He sailed for England last night and by now he’s out in the Atlantic Ocean. Aren’t you pleased?’
‘John! Why didn’t you say something before!’ Josephine said hotly. ‘You must have known all along about Binnie’s plans, why keep it to yourself?’
‘Binnie asked me to, that’s why. Now are you coming home or what?’
‘I’ll see you soon, hon.’ Josephine held Hortense and kissed her cheek. ‘Try not to fret, it might all be a mistake.’ She did not think so and neither did Hortense. She turned away from John’s hateful smiling face and entered the house. Blindly, she stumbled up the stairs and straight into her room. She leaned against the closed door, pain and fear swamping all reason. Binnie had gone; she had lost him for ever and it was her own fault.
Pearl walked slowly away from Pottery Row, her back ached and she felt ill. She had tried to hide it from the rest of the people working in the paint shed but she knew she could not keep her secret for much longer. She was sick, very sick. She had tried desperately to talk to Watt about it but so far there had been no opportunity. In any case, perhaps it was better not to burden him with her worries. Watt was the sort of man who took other folk’s troubles on himself.
It was a relief when she reached the small house and let herself indoors. Pearl was pleased to see that the fire was lit and the table was laid for supper. ‘Rosie!’ Pearl hugged her daughter. ‘What are you doing here?’
Rosie smiled and pushed the kettle onto the fire. ‘Hello, Mam, I’ve got the day off so I thought I’d come and make tea for you.
‘Watt’s here, he’s supposed to be helping so I’ve sent him to fetch coal for the fire. There’s no sign of Willie or the boys.’
‘Willie said he’d take the boys over to his sisters, I expect he’s still there.’ Pearl watched her daughter’s face change as Watt came in the back door, a bucket of coal in his hand. Her face was radiant and Pearl suddenly felt anxious; Rosie was falling in love. Watt was a good man but he was older than Rosie and more experienced in the ways of the world. He had even travelled across the sea to America once. How long would he be content with a young untried local girl?
‘You’re a lucky pair getting time off whenever you want it,’ Pearl said as she slumped into a chair. ‘Mrs Mainwaring must be very fond of you both.’
‘Well she is and doesn’t that show what good judgement she has?’ Watt said, looking down at Rosie’s smiling face. Pearl saw her daughter as Watt must see her. She looked good enough to eat, her cheeks flushed, her hair curling around her brow.
‘Hey, how about making your mam a cup of tea?’ She shrugged off her shawl feeling the sweat breaking out on her brow. ‘
Duw
, it’s hot in here.’ She began to cough and once started she could not stop.
‘Are you all right, Pearl?’ Watt’s voice seemed to be coming from a long distance off. She tried to gather her wits but it was a losing battle. The last thing she remembered was Rosie crying out her name.
She came to and found herself lying on the floor, a pillow under her head. Her neighbour Mrs Grove was kneeling beside her, still in her nurse’s apron.
‘Could be the change, Pearl love,’ she said, looking thoughtful. ‘Do you think you’re on the change?’ Pearl struggled to sit up.
‘I suppose so.’ She struggled to her feet, Watt’s hand around her waist. Rosie looked at her mother, her face white. Pearl let Watt guide her to the chair and took the cup of tea Rosie held out with shaking hands.
‘Or,’ Mrs Grove said slowly, ‘you could be going down with the lung sickness from breathing in pot dust all day. Your chest is rattling like stones in a tin can.’
‘Thank you for coming, Mrs Grove,’ Pearl said hastily. ‘It was very kind indeed but I feel all right now.’
‘Been feeling faint have you?’ Mrs Grove asked briskly. She looked at Pearl. ‘Could still be the change, mind,’ she said helpfully. ‘You coming up to forty if I’m not mistaken. Could be you’re expecting of course, stranger things have happened.’
‘No,’ Pearl said. ‘I’m not expecting. I know the signs, I’ve had enough children to recognize how I’m looking and feeling now. I wish that’s all it was.’
‘If it is the lung sickness you won’t have long for this world,’ Mrs Grove said gloomily.
It was Rosie who took charge. ‘I’m very grateful to you for coming in to help, Mrs Grove, but this is a family matter and we’d like it kept that way. I’m sure Mam will be fine once she’s had a good rest. All she needs is a tonic, I’m sure of it.’
‘Well I never!’ Mrs Grove sniffed, not bothering to conceal the fact that she had taken offence. Watt attempted to pour oil on troubled waters.
‘You’re a very good midwife, excellent from what I hear but you must admit you don’t know much about any other condition, Mrs Grove. We don’t want to alarm people unnecessarily, do we, so I think it might be best if we leave any diagnosis to a doctor.’ He pressed some coins into her hands.
‘I’m sure you’ll be discreet about all this, you are a professional woman after all.’
‘Aye, you’re right there, Watt Bevan,’ Mrs Grove said. ‘If I blabbed about everyone’s business there would be all hell let loose in the place.’ She moved to the door. ‘Now if you are sure you can manage without me, I’ll get back to my own fireside. Take it easy, Pearl, there’s a good girl, we don’t want you falling into a dead faint in the middle of traffic in the High Street, do we?’
When she had gone, Rosie sat beside her mother. ‘How long have you had this cough, Mam?’
‘I’m not sure.’ Pearl rubbed her eyes tiredly. ‘What am I going to do? If I can’t work the boys will have to go into the workhouse.’ There were tears in her eyes and Rosie hugged her mother.
‘We’ll be all right, Mam,’ she said quickly. ‘I earn a bit, don’t I? I can help out with food and that and Mrs Mainwaring is very kind, I know if I ask her she’ll send you all the leftovers instead of giving them to Eira’s friends.’
‘That’s all very well, love, but how will we pay the rent? What you earn as a maid won’t keep us lot for long.’
‘Don’t worry, Pearl,’ Watt broke in. ‘We’ll think of something and we’ll be able to keep your job open for you until you’re better.’
‘Oh Lord, but how about the boys, who will look after them? I can’t die, I can’t!’
Rosie seemed to grow in stature. ‘We’ll be all right, I tell you.’ She looked at Watt. ‘Perhaps one of my brothers can get work at the pottery as an apprentice or something. Dom is old enough, isn’t he? And there’s Willie, he’ll help out, won’t he?’
Pearl shook her head. ‘You know as well as I do that Willie can’t help out, he and me, well we have an understanding: he helps his sister and I, well, take care of myself.’ Pearl knew that Willie’s family depended on him. It took all the meagre wages he earned as a fiddler at weddings and funerals to care for his widowed sister and her brood of children.
Rosie began to cry and Watt put his arm around her. Pearl watched for a moment, a bitter taste in her mouth. Then she forced herself to speak.
‘It will be all right, Rosie, don’t you worry, we’ll all pull together.’ Watt met her eyes and Pearl knew what he had in mind almost before he spoke. He wanted to bring money into the house and the only way he could do that was to marry into the family.
Like Pearl, he had seen Rosie’s love for him blossom and, given time, that love might have been returned but now was not the right time. Pearl knew that and surely Watt knew it too.
‘Pearl, Rosie,’ Watt smiled, ‘perhaps this is not the right time to say this and then again maybe it’s exactly the right time.’
‘Our worries are not yours, Watt,’ Pearl said quickly. ‘You mustn’t feel responsible for us, you do enough to help as it is.’
‘Be quiet for once,’ he said. ‘I’m not taking your troubles. I’m asking Rosie to make me the happiest man on earth and marry me.’
‘What?’ Rosie was still pale; she stood in the circle of Watt’s arms and looked up at him. ‘What did you say?’
‘You heard. I’m asking you to marry me, Rosie.’ He spoke soberly.
Pearl took a ragged breath, waiting for Rosie to speak. Rosie’s face seemed suddenly lit from within. If Watt had any doubts about her love for him, about being impetuous, Rosie’s smile was enough to drive the doubts away. ‘Will you have me, Rosie?’
‘Oh, Watt, my lovely!’ Rosie buried her face in his shoulder, suddenly shy. ‘I want to be your wife more than anything in the world.’
‘I’ll move in here, if that’s all right, Pearl.’ He smiled. ‘Everything can go on as normal except that Rosie won’t have to work any more. And you, Pearl, you can take your time and get fit again instead of worrying so much!’
‘But I am worried,’ Pearl said. ‘Are you sure of your feelings, Watt? It’s not that long since you lost Maura.’
‘I loved Maura,’ Watt said, ‘I can’t deny it. But I’m a young man, Pearl, I need a wife and a family. I can’t live alone for the rest of my life, can I?’
‘No, I suppose not.’ Pearl knew that Watt had come up with the perfect answer. After all, he would be gaining a lovely young girl for a wife, a girl who adored him. Pearl looked at her daughter’s radiant expression and then smiled. ‘Come here, my lovely girl, let your mam give you a kiss!’
Pearl closed her eyes and hugged her daughter and any worries she had about Watt’s love for Rosie were pushed to the back of her mind. Her immediate problems of money were solved; Rosie would give up her job and stay at home to look after the boys. It would all work out for the best and as for her bad chest it might be nothing at all. Mrs Grove was no doctor. In any case, it did not do to brood on such things.