‘How dare you. Go away!’ She slammed the door and leaned against it trembling with anger. So the whole village thought she was living in sin, did they? She was suddenly annoyed with James; he should not put her in such an embarrassing position.
She stared through the window, watching the butcher walk away, his basket swinging on his arm. Just then, James came into view, striding purposefully towards the cottage. He was frowning; he did not seem in a very good mood. Perhaps she had better let the incident with the tradesman pass without mention. But on reflection, why should he get away with neglecting to pay his bills?
When he entered the room a few moments later, she stared up at him, her eyes steely. She faced him, her hands clasped together, wondering where to start.
‘I have been insulted by a common butcher!’ she said as James walked past her and sank into a chair. ‘You owe him money, he’s complaining that his bills haven’t been paid.’
James looked up at her, his eyebrows raised. ‘What am I, your own private bank?’ He leaned forward and lifted the small brass bell to summon the maid. ‘I have no money, you silly girl, why do you think I’m living here?’
‘Ah, Betty, some hot cordial if you please. And you, Lily, sit down. Lily, I think it’s time we had a talk.’
Lily obeyed him, she had never heard such a note of command in his voice before. She was trembling. What could he have to say that was so important?
‘Lily, I am going to have to do some entertaining.’
She was bewildered by the triviality of his words. ‘Entertaining, when you can’t even pay the butcher. Isn’t that a bit silly, James?’
‘No, you don’t understand. I have some friends, colleagues if you like, who are travelling men. They get lonely for a little bit of home comfort, you know what I mean?’ He arched his eyebrows.
‘Of course I know what you mean,’ Lily snapped. ‘They want some good home cooking and a bed for the night, that’s what you mean, isn’t it?’
‘Good!’ he seemed relieved. ‘I thought you’d be angry because I’m penniless. That you wouldn’t want to help me to make some money.’
‘Well, I was misled, James, I understood you were comfortably placed.’
‘Well, I’m not. Sorry. But together we can make a go of this plan of mine. You will help me then?’
‘Of course. How many guests do you want me to cater for?’
He paused. ‘Well, I think just one or two for a start, don’t you?’ He smiled. ‘I don’t want to overwork you.’ He stared at her with his strange eyes. ‘They will pay well, Lily, we will make a packet, you and me. Then’, he gestured expansively, ‘we can be together always, wouldn’t that be fine?’
‘Oh, you won’t overwork me, don’t worry!’ Lily said. ‘I’ll make sure of that. When can we expect these men, these colleagues?’ She wanted to ask him about paying the butcher; if she was to cook fine meals she needed meat, but she held her tongue waiting for him to speak.
‘Is tomorrow night too soon?’
‘Well, no.’ Lily thought quickly, there was some mutton in the cold pantry and mint in the garden. There was some beef waiting to be cooked; it was a small joint but supplemented with vegetables she could probably rustle up a meal for four.
‘Good.’ He rose to his feet and took her hands in his. ‘Now go and sort out a pretty dress to wear to charm my friends. I like the one with the rose-sprigged muslin, it shows your fine figure off to great advantage.’
It did; her breasts jutted out of the bodice a little bit too far in Lily’s opinion. But then she was flattered that James had noticed her at all. ‘All right, if you think it will suit,’ she said doubtfully. She would have to get the meal started and leave Betty to see to the final touches, otherwise Lily would arrive in the tiny dining room red from the heat of the fire.
It was late when Lily became aware of someone entering her bedroom. She sat up in alarm and saw James, holding a candle above his head. She could smell the porter on him and knew by the look on his face exactly what he wanted of her. He put down the candle and slid into bed and Lily stared at him, at a loss. Should she scream and push him out of her bed? Should she climb out herself and share Betty’s room?
James put his arm around her. ‘My lovely little Lily flower, do you know how much I want you, my darling?’ He kissed her mouth and she tasted the ale on him. It was sweet and Lily felt herself relaxing. ‘I’ve tried to fight it, Lily, I have no right to taste your sweetness when I have nothing to offer you except a roof over your head.’
She was flattered in spite of herself. ‘Shouldn’t we wait until we’re married?’ She felt it only proper to protest.
‘We’ll be married soon, my darling, no-one will know about this except me and you, will they?’
Lily had expected this after all; it was what all men wanted. His hair fell in soft curls against her cheek as he bent to kiss her neck and she felt a sort of tenderness for him that she had never felt for anyone before. He was like a little boy reaching out for the sweet jar.
‘I need you, Lily, I want to make love to you. Please let me,’ he whispered hoarsely, his hands pushed at her nightgown. With a sense of resignation, she slipped it off. ‘And then, Lily, when we have made enough money out of my friends, we will have the finest wedding in all the land.’
‘Yes, James.’ She felt breathless as he pressed closer to her. It could not be wrong; James had said they would be together always and now he had told her he wanted to marry her. It did not matter that he was not as rich as she had first thought, they would make money with his scheme. Eventually perhaps they could buy a larger property and start up a real boarding house.
He heaved above her and she held her breath; she had never liked it, the way a man could take her and possess her body. It had always seemed like a violation to Lily but it was what men did and she just had to put up with it if she wanted the protection of a man. And yet somehow as she felt him close, his skin soft, the scent of him sweet, she felt a kindling of something that might be the stirrings of desire. Perhaps James was the man she had always needed to waken her passions. Slowly, her arms crept around his neck. She closed her eyes and held him close. He was wonderful, her love, she would never let him go.
All too soon, he flopped back on the bed beside her, his chest heaving. She had experienced three men: Saul, her first lover, her husband, an old man, and now James. James was different; with James she had found real love.
Lily thought of Polly, her old friend who she had not seen for a long time, the friend she had left behind in Swansea. Polly had liked lying with a man, had revelled in it, said she needed it like she needed water, to live. But to Lily the act had always been a tiresome chore to be got over as quickly as possible. But not now. Now she felt warm and cherished, aroused for the first time in her life.
She felt James slip his hand along her stomach and tensed with excitement. He took her the second time with a gentleness that moved her. She cried a few tears as he whispered sweet words to her. He caught her nipple in his mouth and she tangled her fingers in the softness of his hair.
When he fell away from her she sighed with pleasure. James was kind and gentle and his touch pleased her.
He fell asleep almost immediately; in that he was no different from any other man. He lay beside her breathing evenly and, after a while, Lily curved into him enjoying the warmth of his body and, eventually, she too slept.
When she woke, James was gone. Betty was in the kitchen, her eyes downcast. ‘The master’s gone out,’ she said unnecessarily. ‘He’s gone somewhere on business. I don’t know where.’
‘Why should you know where?’ Lily demanded. ‘The whereabouts of Mr Wesley has nothing at all to do with you, do you understand?’
‘Yes, miss.’ Betty glanced up at last and there seemed to be something like pity in her pale eyes. ‘Want some hot milk, miss?’
Lily sank down at the kitchen table. ‘I’ll have some tea,’ she said. The tea in the box was almost gone; it was an expensive item and one they might not be able to afford much longer. Still, it was as much her tea as James’s and if she wanted it she would have it.
After breakfast, Lily asked Betty to boil up water for a bath. She felt unclean, as though she still had the smell of James about her.
Tonight, she would tell him in no uncertain terms that there would be no more creeping into her bed until they were safely married. He would respect her much more if she showed a proper modesty. While she soaped herself and let the hot water run over her body, she wondered if James would teach her to find fulfilment in lovemaking. She closed her eyes for a moment, wanting only to rest. But she had a meal to prepare, the table to set, wine to decant and, then, she would need to make herself look pleasant and charming to greet James’s paying guests. With a sigh, she climbed out of the bath and began to dry herself.
Llinos watched as Joe talked with his son. They sat together and conversed like old men.
‘The whooping cough is gone now, Father. Soon Eira will be able to take me out walking again. You can come with us if you like.’ He sounded like a wise old sage and Llinos tugged at his hair and laughed.
‘Your grandad will never be dead while you are alive, do you know that, Lloyd? When I named you after him I couldn’t have chosen better. You are the spitting image of him.’
‘I know, Mamma,’ he said, ‘you’ve told me that before, remember?’ He looked out of the window. ‘What time is Uncle Eynon coming over? I’m starving.’
‘When are you ever any different?’ Llinos said. ‘And for your information when Eynon does arrive he’ll have Jayne with him, so on your best behaviour please.’
‘Oh no!’ Lloyd had the small boy’s antipathy to little girls. That would change when he was older Llinos thought, watching him lovingly.
‘Here he is!’ Lloyd said excitedly. ‘Can I go to meet him, Father?’
Joe looked at Llinos and shrugged. ‘I suppose so though we all know you’re after the gifts Uncle Eynon insists on bringing you, you little scamp.’
Eynon brought the coldness of the outdoors into the sitting room with him. He smiled at Joe and kissed Llinos lightly on both cheeks. He handed Lloyd a well-wrapped parcel and then gave Llinos a tiny box. ‘For my best girl,’ he said.
‘You’re very kind, Eynon. Where’s Jayne? She’s not sick is she?’
‘No, she’s not sick, thank God,’ Eynon said. ‘She’s gone out with Mrs Sparks today, the dear lady has no children of her own and she took Jayne for company when she went shopping. She intends to bring her back to me later tonight.’
He spoke innocently but Llinos could tell by the gleam in his eyes that he was holding back a grin.
She unwrapped her gift; it was a jewel box painted with birds and flowers.
‘It’s lovely, Eynon! Thank you.’ She kissed his cheek. ‘And how is Mrs Sparks and that dear husband of hers?’ Without waiting for an answer Llinos spoke again. ‘I still can’t get over Mr Sparks’s cheek in deciding I should sell the pottery.’ She shook her head. ‘The man is an arrogant fool.’
‘I wonder where he got the idea you were going to sell?’ Eynon said. ‘I imagine someone with influence offered him a reward if he could persuade you to part with your business. That’s the sort of man he is, always eager to take a bribe.’
‘You could be right, he was so angry when I told him I had no intention of selling. I don’t know the man very well and I wouldn’t care to know him better!’
‘I think Mrs Sparks shares your dislike of the man,’ Eynon said quietly, glancing at Lloyd who had opened his parcel and was pulling the strings, quite efficiently, of the marionette Eynon had bought him.
‘Then it’s lucky she enjoys your company so very much,’ Llinos said dryly. ‘But, as I said, beware of that man, he may not be as much of a chicken heart as he looks.’
‘Hey, you two!’ Joe said. ‘Stop gossiping! And you, Lloyd, isn’t it time you were getting ready for bed?’
Later when Lloyd had left them, the conversation became desultory, not to say a little strained. And Llinos could not think why. She was relieved when the bell rang to announce that dinner was served.
They dined on a simple meal of rabbit pie, crusty bread and roast potatoes followed by a treacle pudding.
‘That was wonderful,’ Eynon said. ‘My friend Martin would give his eye teeth to eat a meal like that.’
‘How is Martin?’ Llinos asked. ‘I’ve heard a great deal about how brave he was visiting the sick.’
‘It’s true, I’m proud of him,’ Eynon said. ‘I don’t think I could have done so well had I been in his shoes.’
Llinos got to her feet. ‘Let’s go into the drawing room, shall we?’
She was content to listen to the two men talk and she sank back in her chair, closing her eyes. Joe did not seem like his old self, he had changed since he came back from America. But then he had lost his mother; it had been a sad time for him. Perhaps she should just count her blessings and be happy because Joe was here, in Britain, in Pottery House, sitting only a few feet away from her.
The two men James brought to the house were well dressed and well mannered. By the look of their clothes, both were very wealthy. Lily took in the good cut of coat and trousers and the strong leather boots and smiled her most charming smile.
‘This is Lily,’ James said. ‘Lily, meet Conrad and Clifford.’ He put his hand on Lily’s shoulder and his fingers were warm on her skin. She felt exposed in her low-cut gown and saw that the eyes of both men were drawn to the shadow between her breasts.
‘We do not stand on ceremony here,’ James was saying as he led the way into the small dining room. ‘Please, gentlemen, make yourselves at home.’
Betty carried in the tureen and ladled mutton broth into bowls. The smell rose invitingly and the two men began to eat with relish, Conrad dipping his bread into his bowl and sucking at it eagerly.
‘You are an excellent cook, Lily,’ Conrad said, soup dribbling unchecked down his chin. Lily averted her eyes.