Surrogate (23 page)

     “You aren’t what you seem.  You can’t be.”  He took another step closer.

     “I’m Carrie, Robbie’s wife.”  She frowned, sensing the same sadness that dwelt within Robbie, except while Robbie’s felt like a small tide rushing toward the shore, this man’s pain was a violent tsunami.  Just being this close hurt, and she wanted to help him.  She had to.  Maybe if she touched him, she could find the broken place inside and ease it somehow.

     “No, you’re not Carrie.  Carrie would never have been able to survive that wreck.”

He took another step closer, and now Carrie could smell something different about him.  It was a sour odor in his breath, and she didn’t understand it.

“You don’t mean what you are saying,” she whispered, trying to read him and understand.  That was the key to healing him.

“Oh yes, I do.  So how did you survive?  How did you manage that trick?”

He was so close to her that she could reach out and touch him.  But she couldn’t tell where the pain was coming from.  It was like it radiated throughout him.  Still, the most vital part of the human was in his chest.  Perhaps she could start there.

“There was no trick.”  She reached out, intending to touch just above his heart.  He stood so still that she thought perhaps he understood she was trying to help.  Her fingers had almost reached him when she felt pain tear through her.

“Let’s see if you can do it again,” he seethed, his eyes glittering with tears.

Shoshan looked down and saw a knife sticking out of her chest.  Had she been human, it would have been in her heart, and he knew it.

     During the middle of the night, a crash of tree branches outside woke Robbie from a dream.  It wasn't a nightmare exactly, though it left his heart racing.  No, it was actually just a dream of a normal day before his life had become so painfully abnormal that sometimes even breathing hurt.

     In the dream, he and Carrie had been swimming amid a sultry summer day, their bodies tangling in the water as if they shared one body.

     Carrie's body was long, her stomach flat, indicating this was before the pregnancy, and even though Robbie tried to crystalize it into a particular memory, he couldn't so he had to assume that while it felt so damned real, it was just a product of his wishful thinking and nothing more.  Yes, there had been many such days they had spent swimming, but this one wasn't real.  His memory was just trying to create more memories of the happiest time in his life, a time that was over.

     He closed his eyes, wanting to drift back to the darkness, back to his world of dreams--the cocoon where everything made sense to him.  He'd almost gotten to the point where he was asleep again, his body weightless and drifting down the stream of dark water, when he reached over and touched the bed where Shoshan should have been.

     He stood and quietly padded to the window where the full moonlight flooded into the room.  As he looked below, he spotted tree branches waving wildly, partially obscuring his vision.  Still, he squinted harder, waiting for the leaves to lift past, and when they did and his eyes adjusted to the darkness below, he finally Shoshan and someone else standing there.  He just didn’t know who.  Or why.

"What in the hell is going on?"  He frowned and watched for a couple of seconds before he whirled, grabbed his cell, and headed out of the room and through the living room and paused only long enough to grab the poker from beside the fireplace before resuming his stride. 

By the time he reached the front door, the anxiety had turned to frustration, and he had to remind himself to stay calm until he knew what was going on.

     He threw the door open and stepped out into the night.   The air was warm and sticky, thick with the hint of rain.  Even the breeze was too warm for comfort, but he stopped thinking about it as his fingers eased off the poker handled and then re-wrapped around the grip, prepared to swing, if necessary.

     The wind shifted, blowing his hair into his eyes, and he shoved it back while creeping around the house, slowly swinging the poker back and forth to bleed off some of the nervous energy pent up inside.

     In that instant, Robbie saw Shoshan standing close to the man, and even though it was dark, Robbie was pretty sure it was Dallas Stanton. Robbie stiffened abruptly.

     "Hey!  What the hell are you doing!" he growled, gripping the poker even tighter.

     He saw Shoshan falling and knew something was wrong, dreadfully wrong.  He started running.  Dallas just stood there, staring at Shoshan, waiting for something. 

     “What did you do to her!” he screamed, bending over her.  Then he saw the knife in her chest.  Her eyes were wide and she was gasping for breath.

     He wanted to move, but he couldn’t.  His body just wouldn't move.  A bloody flower blossomed on her left shoulder, growing with each second.  Her eyes widened in fear and pain. 

     "What have you done!" Robbie yelled, gently taking her into his arms.

     Dallas stood there, watching in horror as Shoshan writhed in pain.     That she did not suddenly seem invincible shook him and he staggered backwards, confused.  It made no sense.  He wanted to understand the miracle, but this was no miracle.  It was just more of the pain.

     It was then that they both saw a glow touch her skin, betraying her true nature.  Yet even as part of her disguise slipped, she did not heal.  She could not.

“I don’t understand,” he whispered.

Robbie looked up at him.  “You did this.  You.  And now my child is going to die and so is she.  You have to help her.”

Dallas couldn’t help but look at the knife and the way she was still bleeding.  Finally, he nodded.  He’d believed she was immortal and know she might die because of him.

     Robbie tried not to panic as he felt more of her blood cover him while he hoisted her into his arms, carefully avoiding the knife protruding from her.  He didn't dare pull it out, not until he could deal with the bleeding.  The breath caught in his chest, and he felt he'd been sucker punched.  Part of him wanted to double over, but remembering that loss was a luxury he couldn't afford. 

     He felt he were losing her all over again, and he knew if that happened he would never in a million years be able to forgive himself.  he had to make this right.

     Shoshan groaned loudly, one hand reaching toward the knife was.  He could see her long fingers trying to ease around the grip of the blade.  Before Robbie could stop her, she yanked it free, allowing the blood to ease out more freely.

     "Why?" Shoshan whispered, her head slowly turning toward Dallas.  Her eyes glowed brilliantly as she looked at him.  "Why did you do this?"

     Although Robbie knew she was in pain, it struck him that the agony in her voice seemed to result more from not understanding why a human would hate her when she'd done nothing to deserve it.  She'd tried so hard to help, only to have things to end like this.

     "I don't know."  Dallas whispered, falling to his knees, stunned by all he saw.  He turned to Robbie.  "What is she?"

     "Does it matter?  She didn't come here to hurt anyone least of all you."

     Robbie cringed at her wound and her ability still to believe in people, to want them to be good.  He didn’t want to tell her the truth.  How could he ever tell her that all her dreams of meeting his people were wrong, that all she had done was endanger her people in the process?  How could he convey the evil humans were capable of, not that she would have any doubts if she survived this ordeal.

     No, she would survive.  He would make damned sure of that one way or another.

     "The baby."  Her hand slipped to her belly.  "It has to come out now or it will die inside."  She coughed and blood trickled out of the side of her mouth.  She could barely keep her head upright, and Robbie knew that the baby might actually be the end of her.  She didn't have limitless strength.

     "Wait," he said, settling his hand over hers.  "You have to wait.  You're not strong enough for this."

     She stared at him, her eyes heavy with pain and fatigue, and he could feel her trying to read his thoughts, but he concentrated on nothing, hoping that all the fears trapped inside of him would stay as they were.  One of them had to be strong, and he was the only candidate for the job.

     "If I die, the baby dies with me," she said, frowning.  Her fingers wrapped themselves around his hand.  "That isn't a chance you can take."

     He shook his head.  "No, Shoshan, you're not going to die.  I won't let you."  He turned to Dallas, who was still staring at Shoshan.  "You did this.  She'd never done anything to hurt you.  Now you will help me or I will kill you."

     "It's not his fault," Shoshan said weakly.  "He's broken inside.  Like you."

     Dallas hung his head, ashamed.

     Robbie glared at him.  "No, not like me Shoshan.  I might be broken, but at least I'd never hurt anyone."

     She started to argue with him, but he knew she was too weak.

     As carefully as he could, he gathered her into his arms and carried her toward the house with Dallas following behind.

Chapter Sixteen

     Once Robbie set her on the bed, he shoved the door closed and glared at Dallas.  "Help me."

     "I...don't know what to do."  He floundered in the knowledge that whatever lay on the bed, however good and pure it was, was also far beyond his rudimentary skill as a healer.

     "Do something!" Robbie snapped in desperation.

     Dallas moved sluggishly, trancelike.  "We need to get the bleeding under control by applying pressure.  I need something to soak up the blood."  He unbuttoned her nightgown and looked at the wound.

     Robbie strode to his dresser and yanked out some t-shirts that he tossed on the bed next to Dallas.  Dallas eased the knife out and quickly picked one up and packed it against the wound, trying to staunch the bleeding as Robbie leaned over her.

     "Shoshan, can you hear me?" he asked again, this time louder than before.  She appeared as pure light here, and he wondered if it were because her physical form were failing.

     Her eyes flickered open, and they did, but even they seemed fatigued and faded, signifying just how weak she must have been.

     "There you are," he whispered, leaning over her so their foreheads touched.  "I thought I might have lost you."  The words tumbled out of his mouth.

     He looked at her, alarmed at how much of her brilliance had faded.  Perhaps it was just because they were under the incandescent lighting, but he doubted it.  He was no healer, but then again he did have an EMT.  He glanced over at Dallas and quickly realized that was a useless thought.  About all Dallas was capable of now was trying to keep Shoshan from bleeding so much.  He was drunk and shaken.

     "The baby.  It has to come out now."  Her breathing was labored.

     "How?" he asked, his mind suddenly reeling from what was ahead.  "I mean, I know how humans do this, but you're different.  Just tell me what you need, and I'll do it."

     Shoshan's hand drifted over her stomach.  "I know I'm not human, Robbie--that I'll never be human--but this baby is yours, and everything I understand about humans stems from you, Carrie, and the child, so I can only do this the way Carrie would have.  I don't know any other way."  Her voice cracked and she winced.  She groaned and gripped her side.

     "What is it?"  He started looking over her and quickly realized her water had broken.  So much for thinking they had more time.

     Robbie clenched his teeth, alarmed at all the blood she was still losing.  "I know what you're saying," he whispered, his hand taking hers.  "But this might kill you."

     She nodded, her eyes glimmering with tears.  "I know."  A trickle of blood seeped from the corner of her mouth.  "But there's no guarantee I'll survive any of this." 

     "There has to be another way," Dallas argued weakly, checking the flow of blood that still came out.  "Granted, I don't know what she is, but labor will destroy her."

     "We have to do something else," Robbie told her as he inhaled sharply and leaned against her chest,  She lifted a hand and brushed it through his hair.

     "We can't. Not without killing the child, and I won't do that.  I can't."

     As Robbie lifted his head, he felt tears sliding down his face, and if anyone had asked him why he was crying, he couldn't have told them.  Was it the baby or Carrie?  Was it Shoshan?  Or was it the fact that his race didn't deserve to be found by aliens who hadn't come here to hurt anyone?  All Robbie knew was that he ached from deep within, and there was no solution that would make everything go back to the way it had been.  He'd foolishly thought that not having Carrie with him was as bad as it could get, but now, in the face of losing Shoshan and possibly his child, everything had turned dark; his whole world had been lit by a single candle which had been blown out.

     "I can't lose you," he whispered, and his voice reminded him of when he'd been a small child and clinging to his mother in the wake of some horrible nightmare.  He was as terrified now as he'd ever been.

     Shoshan gently dabbed at his tears.  "Nothing is ever truly lost, Robbie.  Nothing."