Surrogate (18 page)

     "A while," she replied, suddenly facing him.  "You were exhausted, and I thought you needed sleep, especially after the lightning struck you."

    
That wasn't the only thing that struck me
, he thought.  He wanted to find Carrie, but she seemed foreign.  Carrie was gone.

     "You might have a point," he conceded, "but now that I'm awake, I want some answers.  Who are you?"

     "I don't think you're ready for this," she said softly, running her finger around the rim of the mug.

     "You tell me my wife is dead.  You've assumed her form to carry my child.  I don't think there is much more you can add to make it worse."

     She eased from the chair and started to pace the kitchen, her hand resting atop her abdomen, waiting to feel the baby kick again.  "I am called Shoshan by my own kind."

     Robbie sat up straighter.  "Which is?"

     "Telmachians.  We are star people from a galaxy so far from your own you would never know we exist.  Until now."  She licked her lips and looked down at her hand, specifically at the wedding ring Robbie had given Carrie.

     Robbie watched her touch the ring, something Carrie had often done.  "Why are you here?"

     "When I was small, I believed there were other worlds beyond mine.  I had no proof--no reason to think I was right--but somehow I knew, and as soon as I was old enough, I began exploring, looking for what I knew had to be there."  She walked to the window and looked up at the sky, her back to Robbie.  "This world was my dream.  You were my dream."  Her voice wavered, and for the first time emotion seemed to get the best of her.

     Robbie closed his eyes, trying not to get sucked deeply into his own emotions.  He needed answers, and if he were going to fall apart, he would never get those.

     "What did you do with Carrie?"

     "I took her within me where she...died so all of what she knew and felt would live on."

     "Why?  As a stranger to this world, why would you do that?" No matter how hard he tried to keep his voice normal, his voice wavered.

     Shoshan brushed the hair from her eyes.  "I felt sorry for Carrie.  All she could think about was the baby, and taking care of it was all I could do.  I wanted to learn about your world, and I knew I could learn much by preserving all Carrie was." She swallowed hard. 

     Robbie folded his arms across his chest.  "So what is it  you aren't saying?  There's more, I can tell." He stepped closer, drawn to her as surely as if Shoshan were his wife, and when she didn't answer, he eased his hand beneath her chin and lifted it so she had no choice but to stare at him.

     The breath caught in her throat, and her eyes clouded with pain.  "There were so many things I could never have guessed about your race, Robbie.  I thought taking Carrie's place would be easy enough--that it would be all about fitting in biologically.  I didn't know that once I'd assumed a human form I would start to feel as a human." Her eyes were large and luminous in the morning light.  "I didn’t know all of your wife's emotion would consume me until I could not separate her desires from my own."

     Robbie slowly lowered his hand, hating the way his heart pounded so hard it made breathing difficult.  He wanted to hate her for surviving when Carrie hadn't.  He wanted to damn her for becoming a part of Carrie when he felt so suddenly isolated and alone.  But no matter what else he did, he knew he couldn't blame Shoshan for his loss no matter how much he ached inside.  She had saved his child when no one else could've.

     The phone rang, saving him from having to wrestle with all his emotions and having to form some kind of response.  Part of him wished he could just go back to not knowing that he had lost Carrie; then again, deep down, he had always suspected his loss.  He just hadn't let those thoughts surface enough to admit they might really be true.

     Trying to force a normal tone, he picked up his cell.

     "Hello?"

     "Hey, Robbie." Beth's eternally perky voice greeted him.

     Robbie's stomach tightened, and while he was glad for the momentary reprieve from the conversation with Shoshan, he pretty much felt it would've been easier to have anyone else at the other end.  Beth just took too damned much energy, energy he  didn't have.  Besides, she was too intuitive not to pick up that something was bothering him.

     "What can I do for you, Beth?" He forced a smile to his face, hoping the expression would leak into his tone.

     "How's Carrie this morning?"

     Puzzled, Robbie glanced at Shoshan.  Although he might have expected a lot of things, finding her crying wasn't one of them.  She had once more turned to the window, and her skin almost translucent in the bright light, her tears glass-like as they rolled slowly down her face.

     "She's fine," he managed.  "Why?" Shoshan looked at him, and even though part of him wanted to glance away, he couldn't.  It was like whatever was left of Carrie held his attention, and he had no desire to break free.

     "The baby shower, Robbie.  It's today."

     Robbie inhaled sharply.  Just when he'd thought things couldn't get any worse he was going to have to try to put on a brave face and nudge his way into the shower where a roomful of gossipy old women were going to be waiting to see the woman who'd defied death.  The accident should have been in the past, but the townsfolk were a suspicious lot.  They knew something was strange with Carrie surviving, and until they learned what it was, they weren't the sort to just give up and move on.  Either they thought it was miraculous, impossible, or evil.  That's the reason he needed to be at the shower--to protect his baby and the being which had afforded him a miracle.

     "Robbie?  You still there?"

     "Yeah." He glanced at his watch.  "Where are you having it, and what time does she need to be there?"

     Shoshan looked up, and she must have put the pieces of his conversation together as she abruptly stood and headed to the bedroom.  Robbie followed her.

     Robbie heard a disgusted sigh on the other end. "Didn't Carrie tell you?  As excited as she was about the baby, I sort of figured she'd tell the whole world."

     Robbie watched Shoshan brush through her long hair, mesmerized by the way the sunlight glowed its coppery strands.  "You know me, Beth.  Carrie tells me lots of stuff, but that doesn't mean I always remember."

     "You've got a point.  The shower is at noon at the First Baptist Church."

     Robbie felt the pit of his stomach sink.  He'd been hoping the shower would be a small affair at Beth's, but he should've known better.  Beth never did anything halfway, and since he and Carrie had struggled to even have a baby in the first place, Beth was going all out.

     Robbie fervently wished at he'd lied and said Carrie was ill, but that would only have delayed the inevitable.  Beth was going to have a baby shower one way or another.  There was no getting around it, so they might as well muddle through it as best they could.  Still, what if some of the locals put two and two together just as he had?  What then?  He shook his head.  He would just have to cross that bridge when he came to it--if he came to it.

     "I'll make sure I get her there on time.  Still, she's been kind of tired, and I wondered if it would be all right if I sort of hung around just in case she starts feeling bad."

     Beth giggled.  "You realize you're going to be surrounded by women and baby stuff, right?  I mean, if you're okay with that, it'll be fine.  I think you're being a little overprotective.  Carrie can take care of herself."

     "I'd still rather be on the safe side, if you don't mind." Robbie watched Shoshan open the closet and begin sorting through clothes, trying to find an outfit for the shower.  At first, Robbie had wondered how a being not from this planet would understand such things as finding a proper outfit or going into the bathroom to change, but Robbie now suspected it was because at least some of the time, Shoshan could find information from Carrie's memories which would serve her.

     "I guess I'll see you both at noon, then."

     Robbie nodded even though he knew Beth couldn't see him.  "Yeah, you will."

     He snapped his cell shut and set it on the dresser before slowly facing Shoshan.

     Her shoulders sank.  "I forgot about the shower."  She licked her lips nervously.  "I should've told you the specifics."

     "It doesn't matter." He thought about warning her to try to act normal but couldn't define normality.  While he had to admit she had done pretty well at disguising herself as his wife, there were enough discrepancies to raise red flags if she weren't careful, and the last thing either or them needed was any more attention.  This was small-town America, and sometimes those in small towns didn't have open minds to begin with.

     Shoshan took a deep breath and ran her hand over her abdomen.  "I--I don't know how to do any of this.  I don't know what's expected of me."

     Nodding, Robbie ambled to her side and stroked her cheek.    "It's all right.  I'll be close in case you get in over your head." He pointed at the jumper to her left.  "That was one of Carrie's favorites.  It's a good choice." He started for the bedroom door.  "Get a shower and get ready.  Then I'll take you."

     As Robbie eased the truck into the parking lot, he stiffened, dreading going into the church and mingling with all those women.  He shifted the truck into park and glanced at Carrie.  Although the outfit had been a good choice, the fact that Carrie had worn it often left him numb.  He was still trying to come to terms with what he'd lost, and when he didn't think about it, part of him was still fooled by Shoshan's outward appearance. 

     "There're too many people here," Shoshan said, scanning the cars in the lot, which was easily half-f.

     Robbie pulled the key from the ignition and nodded. "Yeah. Sometimes Beth has a flair for the dramatic.  She loves a good party, and you gave her the perfect excuse." He nodded at the church. "You ready?"

     Shoshan nodded and tugged on the door handle. Robbie got out and waited for her to meet him. Without thinking about it, he slid his arm around her. Together, they headed for the entrance. Robbie squinted amid the brilliant sunlight.

     "Why haven't you asked me about the baby's gender?" she asked, staring at the entrance to the church, where she could see a large group of women staring back at her. "Don't you want to know?"

     Robbie's shoulder muscles tensed. "Carrie and I wanted to wait to find out when the baby was born."

     "Oh."

     Robbie opened the front door, and immediately both of them were embraced by someone.  For Robbie, it was Mary, Dallas Stanton's sister. Dallas sat at a table not far, watching, scrutinizing Carrie as she was currently hugged by a very enthusiastic Beth, who gushed over how good Carrie looked.

     Robbie murmured a few polite greetings and then sauntered to the chair next to Dallas. The way he watched Shoshan made Robbie uncomfortable, and he wondered what exactly was going through the EMT's mind.  Did he have doubts about Carrie?

     "Is this seat taken?" Robbie asked, pointing to the chair next to Dallas's.

     "Nope. Help yourself." Dallas didn't smile or offer anything else, and such silence was really out of character for him, Robbie realized to his dismay.

     Easing himself onto the metal chair, Robbie leaned back and watched as a throng of nearly thirty giggling women moved toward the tables. They all wanted to be near Carrie. Of course, that made Robbie just a little nervous. It was one thing for the guests to want to surround Carrie at her own shower, but it seemed everyone in town had heard about the wreck, making Robbie wonder what their intentions were. What would happen if the truth came out?

     Just as quickly as the thought came, he remembered holding his child's hand and realized he didn't want to know.

     "So, did Mary drag you along? I didn't realize any of the guys were coming." Robbie kept his tone light, figuring he'd get more information from Dallas if the EMT really didn't have a clue Robbie wanted to know certain things.

     Dallas grabbed a soda can from beside the chair, still watching Shoshan. "Nah, I asked to come. I wanted to see how Carrie was doing."

     "Really? Why?" Robbie folded his arms around his chest and stretched his legs out, faking an attempt to get comfortable.  Considering Dallas's strange interest in Carrie, there was probably no way he was going to find a comfort zone.

     "I was one of the first responders, and I've seen lots of wrecks, Robbie. Truthfully, it was a miracle Carrie walked away from that...literally." He turned and frowned at Robbie, his expression hard.

     "What do you mean?" It was a question meant to give Robbie time to think.

     "Carrie wasn't in the car when we found her. She was walking around as though nothing had happened despite incredible blood loss. About four pints of blood had soaked into the seat."  Dallas's voice drifted away as he turned his focus back to watching Carrie with fervent interest. It seemed clear he expected something to happen.

     Now that Robbie knew Shoshan's secret, he was worried Dallas would get his wish, jeopardizing both the baby and Shoshan, which Robbie could never allow. Of course, he had yet to come up with a plan to protect them.

     Robbie pasted a smile on his face, quickly recognizing he had no choice but to play the happy husband who didn't suspect a thing. A small voice told him that perhaps Dallas wasn't just watching 'Carrie' but also him, looking for clues.