Surrender to Temptation (18 page)

“I promised that I wouldn't take you further than you could go.” Before I could say another word, he began to roll one of my already-erect nipples in his hand, pulling and pinching until it was a hard point. I arched into his hand involuntarily, and with experienced fingers he had the nipple clamp in place on the tip of my breast.

“Ouch!” I shook, hoping that it would fall off. He took advantage of my distraction to clamp my second breast. I inhaled sharply as a painful sensation burned its way over both globes of my heavy breasts, spreading to my collarbone, my rib cage, and making it hard to breathe.

“Once more.” I was lifted yet again and twisted, my front again pressed into the bed, my ass presented fully. The pain from the clamps on my nipples eased a bit when I rested them on my bed, but I could feel blood rushing to the spot where the metal pinched into my skin, and found that the tips were becoming quite numb. It was an incredibly strange mix of sensations.

“Now.” Zach pulled one final object from his magic bag of tricks. He held it out so that I could see, and when my eyes took in the pale wood of what was unmistakably a paddle, one side polished to a shine, the other covered with some sort of fur, I shook my head vehemently.

“No way.” I just wanted him to fuck me already—was that really too much to ask? I'd whipped him, I had clamps on my nipples, and he had told me that I wasn't permitted to close my legs. I didn't think I could handle anything else.

Zach stilled, and his face when he looked down at me was deadly serious.

“Do you truly mean ‘no,' Devon?” His eyes searched my face for the truth. “Are you safe-wording on me?”

I opened my mouth, then closed it. If I used my safe word, then this—this entire strange, sensory, emotional journey—was completely over.

No. I wasn't going to end things now.

Inhaling deeply as I thought of that paddle smacking against the bare skin of my ass, I buried my face in the covers, waiting for him to do as he would.

“We'll only do ten blows tonight. You've been through a lot.” I choked on my own saliva at his pronouncement.
Only
ten blows?

Shit.

“Count for me, Devon.” This was the only warning I had, and then the hard side of the wooden paddle was smacking against the flesh of my right ass cheek. I cried out as fire spread across my skin.

“One.” I sucked in air as I waited for the second blow. My ass burned against the cool air.

“Two!” This was hit against the other side of my butt. It burned just as much.

Three, four. Nine, ten. I screamed out the last number, the paddle on my already-burning flesh just too much for me to handle. Tears leaked out the sides of my eyes as I clutched my fingers into the sheets, gasping as I tried to catch my breath.

Behind me I could hear that Zach's breath was labored, as well. I knew that if I turned around, I would find him as hard as he had ever been, ready to plunge himself into my waiting heat.

First, something soft pressed against the heated skin of my rear. I winced and shied away from the touch until I realized that he was rubbing the fur side of the paddle over my abraded skin.

Though strange at first, I finally arched into the sensation, which was cool and refreshing and oh so soft.

Then the paddle went away. I heard it hit the ground and braced myself, knowing what was coming.

It was still a shock when Zach grabbed my waist, pressed my scorched behind to his pelvis, and seated himself inside my pussy in one rough thrust. I couldn't hold back any longer and screamed as I felt myself filled to the edge of discomfort.

He wasn't gentle, and he was big. He held me open with the hard muscles of his thighs. I couldn't close my legs against the onslaught of sensation, and as such had to take his entire length and girth into my body, which fought against the intrusion.

“Aah!” He was so incredibly big, and I had nowhere to move to alleviate the sensation. As he began to thrust, his strokes deep and fast and rough, the pain tore an intense excitement from my very core, and I felt myself beginning to shudder around him.

“Not yet.” Sliding his hands between my torso and the bed as I began to tense in anticipation of climax, Zach's fingers found the tips of my breasts and, in one quick movement, tugged the clamps off.

“Fuck!” Blood rushed back into the numb tips, making them so incredibly sensitive that the sheets dragging back and forth over them sent me over the edge. I screamed long and loud as my climax shattered my world, my body racked with the pleasure that Zach had introduced me to.

“No more.” He drew his erection from my drenched heat and rolled me onto my back. Stepping in between my splayed legs, he pressed back inside of my pussy and at the same time, bent and sucked a still-burning nipple into his warm, wet mouth.

I felt myself beginning to climb again. As he suckled my breast, he began to roll my clit between sure fingers.

The pleasure slammed back through me, and it rolled on and on. Dimly, as if from a distance, I heard Zach shout at me to remove his beads.

As if pushing through a fog of pleasure, I reached behind him and fumbled for the ring. Tugging as hard as I could while my own pleasure continued to crash over me, I felt the first bead give way, then the second, then the final two at once.

He pulled his cock out of my heat as I ripped the beads from his body. He shouted, his voice hoarse, and then I felt semen splatter wetly across my skin, scalding the tender flesh of my stomach.

I closed my eyes, wanting to savor every nuance of sensation. When I opened them again briefly, I saw Zach standing over me. Those incredible eyes of his regarded me with satisfaction, not a little bit of pride, and something else that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

I smiled up at him sleepily, then closed my eyes again, wanting to hold on to the bliss that was drifting throughout me.

For the first time in a long time, I felt at peace.

•   •   •

T
he first rays of morning light were washing over the bed when we finally settled down to sleep. I basked in the lemon yellow sunshine as I lay beside Zach on the bed.

I was wearing one of his T-shirts. He was wearing nothing. The covers had disappeared off of the bed and onto the floor sometime in the night, and so I snuggled into his side for warmth in the chilled early air.

I couldn't remember a time when I had felt happier, really truly happy, not like I was just pretending.

After Zach had tenderly rubbed an ointment made of arnica and crisp-smelling tea tree into my tender bottom, he took me into his massive bathtub and washed off the traces of our passion with warm water and kisses. After an hour of soapy groping, we had fallen into his bed and made love again.

My little minx.
He had whispered the words into my ear as he soaped my skin, and I couldn't help but wonder if he realized what he had said. Either way, the tender endearment made my heart flutter and my insides melt.

Even without paddles, anal beads, or nipple clamps, he took to me to places that I had never even dreamed existed.

I was exhausted, but it was wonderful. It seemed like it was too good to be true when Zach spoke.

“Let's go to Cambria.” I propped myself up on an elbow so that I could look down at his face. He seemed to be serious, and I felt my heart clench in my chest.

“Why?” My feelings had intensified during the night, to the point that I would go anywhere he asked me to.

Though I knew that I shouldn't, I couldn't squelch the hope that maybe, just maybe, he had feelings for me, too. Feelings that went beyond sex and his compulsion to dominate me.

I watched Zach shift uneasily under my scrutiny, and bit my teeth into my tongue. He had been so carefree, so easy during the long night. I didn't want to remove all of that amazing progress by saying the wrong thing.

“I love Cambria. You love Cambria.” Rolling slightly, he pillowed his head on his hands. “A whole weekend in which I get to pleasure you however I want to, in a place we both love. Sounds like a good idea to me.”

My fingers itched to trace over the scarlet line on his back, the contusions where the whip had cut through his perfect skin. I knew that if I did, it would remind him of all of the shadows that had led him to demand that I rain those blows down on him.

Once again, I bit my tongue. I just wanted to enjoy the pleasure of his company, this easy togetherness, while it lasted, and I didn't think that that was too much to ask.

“Sounds like a good idea to me, too.” Unable to resist, I feathered my fingers through the silk of his hair, inhaling the scent that rose from the touch.

As I eased myself back down beside him on the bed, he burrowed into the mattress, trying to get comfortable enough to sleep. Before he nodded off, he raised his head, something to tell me before he forgot.

“We'll sleep as long as we want. Then Charles can drive us out.” Content, he lay back down, leaving me frozen and unhappy.

“Um, Zach. Can't . . . can't we just go ourselves? Just the two of us?” I had found that I liked Charles, I truly did. But he in no way factored in to the picture I had of Zach and me away from the city, a chance to work past that shell that he held around himself so tightly.

Beside me, I felt Zach stiffen. Though he didn't move, all vestiges of sleep were gone from his voice when he spoke.

“Charles has to come, Devon. I don't drive. We've talked about this.” He rolled more fully onto his side, indicating that the conversation was now over.

The idyllic peace that I had felt was gone, burnt away in that one quick moment. Agitation filled me up, anger that he had such ridiculous rules about his life—rules that were affecting me, too—but that he couldn't, wouldn't offer me an explanation. Or even compromise the slightest bit.

“I can drive, Zach. Then it will be just the two of us.” To me this sounded entirely logical—in fact, it made far more sense than having someone who was not a part of this relationship drive us all the way out there, only to spend his time waiting until we decided to go back again.

“No.” He still didn't sit up, and I felt like thumping him over the head with a pillow. The issue wasn't closed until we both agreed, and I didn't agree.

“Zach, this doesn't make sense. I can drive. I have a valid license. Please.” My voice became softer. I wasn't going to beg, but I found that I wanted this time away with him quite desperately. “I want to be alone with you.”

Finally Zach sat up, and when he twisted on the mattress to face me I felt as though cold water was slowly trickling down my body. His face was set in a cruel sneer, and his eyes looked like black ice.

“This isn't a relationship where we give and take and talk things through, Devon.” Standing, he looked down at me with a ruthless expression, and I suddenly felt silly to be wrapped in his oversized gray gym shirt, like a high school teen with her boyfriend's letter jacket.

“What is it, then? Why don't you tell me, exactly?” I stood, too, determined to meet him on equal ground. I could already feel my heart breaking yet again. The look on his face never led to anything good for us.

“I've told you all along that there are parts of my life that I won't share. I live my life the way that I do for reasons that are my business and no one else's. It's how it is, and you can take it or leave it.” The expression on his face told me that he didn't particularly care which option I chose.

At one point, I had been convinced that I meant something to him, something more than sex, even if he had no idea how to handle a traditional relationship.

But we had gone down this road so many times already in the brief time that we had been in each other's lives. It began to dawn on me that I was being a fool, and I couldn't even blame him for stringing me along.

He had told me what he did and didn't want, had been completely honest the entire time. I had chosen not to listen, to read into things, to build dream castles where nothing at all could stand.

Damn if I would let him see how much he had affected me. I was stronger now than I had ever been, and if nothing else, Zachariah St. Brenton had shown me that I was worthy of a lot of things.

I deserved someone who wanted me the way that I wanted him.

I stood there in his T-shirt as the man I wanted so desperately walked away, shutting himself in the bathroom, shutting me out as he had done so many times before.

Yes, I deserved someone who would give me everything I wanted. The problem there was that all I desired was Zachariah St. Brenton.

TEMPTED TO REVEAL

M
y hands shook as I contemplated lifting my coffee cup for a drink. After a night without even a minute of sleep, it seemed like more work than I could manage. I had been here, in the office, for an hour already, hoping for the distraction that my workload might give me.

Instead, everything in the entire building seemed to whisper Zach's name, tormenting me like a thousand tiny needles pricking my tender skin.

I squirmed in my seat at the thought, my bottom sore and hot after last night with Zach despite the tea tree ointment he had administered and the warm bath we had soaked in together. As the discomfort washed over me, so did anger.

We were over. After all I had been through with him, it was absolutely, positively, one hundred percent over.

I had tried, dammit. I had opened myself up to things that had shocked me to my core, just to please him. I had let him tie me up, had let him paddle like an impertinent child.

In the end, it hadn't mattered. He couldn't give me what I needed. I had hoped for more than he said he could give, and look how that had turned out for me. And try as I might, his rejection—again—forced those little fingers of self-doubt to play over my neck in a discomforting sensation.

Get a grip, Devon.
Scowling, I shoved my coffee, now ice-cold, to the corner of my desk and pulled my keyboard closer. As eight o'clock neared, I welcomed the distraction of my coworkers as they began to trickle in.

Diversion was good. I would welcome anything that could help me forget Zachariah St. Brenton.

“Morning, Devon.” Tony smiled at me as he placed two cups on his desk, then shrugged out of his jacket. He studied my face intently, and didn't bother hiding his displeasure at the shadows that he saw beneath my eyes.

“I got this for you.” He crossed to my desk with one of the disposable cups, setting it down near my elbow.

I blinked with surprise and not a little pleasure. Sometimes my coworkers would bring coffee or muffins for one another, but no one had yet included me in the tradition. I hadn't been there long enough to make friends, and I had the additional black mark of extra attention from the CEO, which hadn't sat well with many of the women.

A genuine smile crossed my lips as I curled my hands around the cup, savoring its warmth.

“Thank you, Tony. Can I give you some money for it?” He scowled at the question, making a shooing gesture with his hands.

“Absolutely not. You can get the next one.” The surge of acceptance, combined with my shaky emotions over Zach, made me suddenly tear up.

Tony looked alarmed.

“Hey, what's wrong?” Sliding behind me, he placed his hands on my shoulders and rubbed gently. “I won't bring you coffee anymore, I swear.”

I barked out a laugh through my dry throat. I wasn't quite sure how I felt about his touch on my shoulders. He had offered it out of comfort, and that was nice, but I had caught his interested stare too many times to think that the caress was strictly platonic.

“Um.” I was trying to formulate a polite way to extract myself from Tony's handling when I felt those fingers dig into my muscles.

“Ow.” I jerked away from the bite of his nails on my skin, distancing myself from his touch at the same time. “What was that for?”

I shoved an errant lock of hair behind my ear as I looked up, and my own fingers clenched involuntarily. I sucked in my breath, steeling myself.

Where had he come from? Zach stalked—there was no other word to describe his movements—across the crowded accounting office toward us. His thunderous expression told me that he was not pleased at what he saw, and the manner in which he approached reminded me of a jungle cat—smooth, graceful, and deadly.

“Mr. Figuero.” Zach fastened that terrifying stare directly onto Tony, not looking at me, not even a glance. “Must I remind you of the policy on dating within one's own department yet again?”

“No, sir.” Tony's words were tense as he stepped farther away from me. As he marched to his own desk, not daring to look back at me, my spine stiffened in outrage.

I couldn't believe Zach's audacity, interfering here like a jealous husband. He could cite interdepartmental dating policies all he wanted, but we all knew that he was marking his territory.

After his behavior last night, he had no right. We were through.

Standing, I opened my mouth to tell him just that. I only hoped that I could get it out before the angry tears began to choke my words.

“Please come with me.” He spoke before I could, persuasively, effectively disabling my anger with that one sentence. I narrowed my eyes at him with suspicion.

“Go where?” Zach had put me through enough of an emotional typhoon. I needed him to spell out his intentions more clearly.

He sighed, raking a hand through his hair in the way that I loved. I did my best to squelch the desire that snaked through me at the gesture.

“Come with me for a second.” Thoroughly irritated, I followed him into an empty office. Shutting the door behind us, he looked me right in the eyes.

“Let's go to Cambria, Devon. Now.” My mouth fell open at the words.

I cocked my head with confusion. “What's changed?”

“We can talk about this on the way.” He rocked back on his heels, clearly impatient for us to be on our way.

I planted my hands on the empty desk. Through the glass of the window I could see that the department outside the private office had all but come to a standstill, everyone gaping at the enigmatic billionaire.

I knew that it was a good sign that he was willing to come to me at work. I was still angry enough not to want to make it easy for him.

“Tell me what has changed now, or I'm not going anywhere.” I quaked as an expression of dominance flashed over his face, and I wondered if he would haul me over his knee and spank me for disobedience then and there.

Instead, I watched as he visibly struggled to rein in his need for control. Inhaling deeply, then letting the breath out, he ignored the spectators and fastened all of his attention on me.

“I want to tell you everything that you want to know, Devon.” His words were hardly more than a whisper, but I was so focused on him that they were loud and clear to me. “I simply am not ready.”

Disappointment was a cold rain, chilling me to the bone. I shook my head slowly, then turned away.

“Then there's no point in your being here, Zach.” My heart felt like it was being squeezed by a giant, invisible fist. I began to tremble, but I vowed that I wasn't going to break down.

If Zach had shown me anything, it was that I was stronger than that.

Inhaling deeply, I left the private office. Conversation in the department outside hushed for a moment as I rejoined my coworkers, then restarted when I refused to make eye contact with anyone.

“Devon.”

I ordered myself not to turn around, but in his voice I heard the anguish that I had only seen from him in the aftermath of his nightmare.

“You can drive.” Cursing myself, I looked back at him. He dangled a key fob from his fingers.

I thought I could see on his face a new vulnerability, a hint that he had dropped some of his defenses. And at that sight, I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around him and never let go. I couldn't believe that he had chosen to approach me and take me aside in front of everyone. Gossip would spread the story to every set of ears by the end of the day.

In the end, that was what pushed me that last inch. It couldn't have been easy for him to come here, to do this. In his own infuriating way, he was trying.

That meant I could try, too.

“I have work.” I had already made up my mind, but still felt the need to go through the motions.

“You have an in with the boss.” His voice was wry, and I did my best to swallow a smile. When he saw that I was wavering, Zach continued.

“I've already informed Mrs. Gallagher.” A look across the room revealed the woman sitting in her desk, watching us as everyone else did.

She didn't look pleased, and in fact, she looked worried for me.

Rubbing my temples with my fingers, I closed the distance between Zach and me, lowering my voice.

“I don't have an overnight bag packed.” It was my last line of defense and, as I'd expected, he broke through it with ease.

“I have one for you.”

“Awfully sure of yourself, aren't you?” I supposed I should be angry that Zach had assumed I would fall into line, but I couldn't muster up any sense of outrage. I liked that he made decisions, and that I didn't have to. It made me feel cared for. Still, I worked up a token sneer.

“I'm never sure of myself with you.” Zach's face was somber as he regarded me, and I felt my heart trip in my chest. “Definitely hopeful, though.”

I tried to keep my expression neutral as I studied Zach's face. Though I couldn't understand the cost of his pushing himself out of his safety zone, I knew that it was not something he often did.

But he had because I had asked him to. More than anything else, this told me that there was more between us than sex.

“All right.” My voice was so soft that I could barely hear it myself. Though I wanted, more than anything, to go with Zach, and for everything to be all right between us, I hoped that I wasn't opening myself up for more emotional distress.

The weeks since I had met Zach had been full of extreme highs and devastating lows. Right now, my emotions were creeping back up, and I wanted them to stay there.

“Let me get my purse.” As I stooped to pull the leather satchel from under my desk, I caught Tony's eye. His lips were pinched tightly together, his expression disapproving. I looked away, but as I did I realized that nearly everyone in the office was staring at the spectacle that Zach and I had just provided.

Faced with the onslaught of curiosity, jealousy, and disapproval, I wavered. My hands, which were clutching my purse tightly, broke into a nervous sweat.

I could just imagine what everyone was thinking.

“Devon. Let's go.” Zach moved to the back of my desk where I still stood, frozen in place. Tilting my head high with one finger placed under my chin, he draped the strap of my purse over my shoulder, then placed his hand at the small of my back, urging me forward.

Any resistance that I had felt over succumbing to his request melted as he shared his strength with me. Under his fierce look around at the onlookers, the office came back to life, people doing their best to at least pretend that they weren't watching us, though I knew the truth.

Though I knew that the speculation would increase tenfold when I returned from this little trip, for the moment, I could handle it. I could handle going after what I wanted. And the only reason that I could do so was Zach.

Though I knew it wasn't smart, I couldn't help it. As Zach ushered me across the lobby to the elevator, I realized how deeply I could love this man.

•   •   •

Z
ach was unlocking the door to his private garage when I caught sight of my own car in the staff lot. My mind flashed to the bag that was still crushed underneath the passenger's seat.

“Wait just a second.” I scurried across the cement to my car while Zach stared after me, bemused. I knelt gingerly on the uneven surface as I tried to extract the bag, which had been smushed to the point of no return.

Good thing it's not breakable.
I grinned triumphantly as the bag gave way, tearing open. Carefully I pulled the swatch of midnight blue silk out from its hiding place, folding it gingerly and tucking it into my purse.

I had purchased it for myself, after all, not for Tom. And the thought of Zach's face when I wore it caused heat to wash over my skin.

“What were you doing?” Zach raised his eyebrows when I grinned at him and sailed through the door that he held open, my spirits high.

“Never you mind.” When he narrowed his eyes, I could tell that he was thinking of ordering me to tell him.

I stared right back, and finally he nodded.

“Very well, little minx, keep your secrets. I'll enjoy punishing you for it later.” I jolted at the surge of sexual heat held in Zach's words, nerves and anticipation assaulting me at once.

“Well.” I eyed the sleek black vehicle, both nervous and excited to drive such a car. “Let's go?” The fob in my hand was far more high-tech than the simple key for my own sedan.

Zach didn't reply. Turning, I found him standing ramrod straight, his hands in tight fists at his sides, his jaw tense.

“Zach.” My heart melted, even though our argument from the night before rang in my head. I knew now, though, that he wasn't trying deliberately to withhold the cause of his pain.

Whatever it was, I suspected it would pain his soul to relive it.

“Hey.” Crossing to him, I placed a hand on his upper arm and rubbed. He blinked down at the gesture, his brow furrowing as if he couldn't quite conceive of being comforted. “We don't have to do this.”

Stubbornness darkened his features, and I sighed to myself. Zach didn't do compromise very well, and he had apparently used up his store of it with me already.

“We're going.” His movements still stiff, he opened the driver's-side door and waited until I slid in. After he had walked around the car and gotten in himself, I opened my mouth to ask him a question about adjusting the seats before deliberately biting my tongue.

He didn't drive the car. He would have no idea. There was no point in reminding him of his unease.

“Give me a minute.” I squinted at the dashboard. The car had a lot of fancy features—an incredibly complex-looking stereo, an ionizer, and something that looked like a small television. But apart from the fact that the car started with the press of a button rather than a key in the ignition, everything else was normal, if prettied up.

It had been a while since I had driven a manual vehicle, and I prayed to myself that I wouldn't do anything awkward while I got back into the feel of it. I didn't think that Zach was the kind of man who would appreciate showing weaknesses, like his anxiety at even being in this car with a new driver.