Authors: Tara Fox Hall
Tags: #vampire, #fear, #sex, #happiness, #shifter, #virgin, #stripper, #catalyst, #tragic past, #promise me
I sighed, then went and sat down at the other
chair at his table. “Tell me what happened.”
“No,” Lash hissed, taking another swig of
scotch.
“Sar and you fought?”
Lash looked at me in surprise, then anger.
“How do you know my business? Does everyone already know she broke
up with me? We just got together a week ago.”
“Terian told me you two were an item,” I said
flatly. “Remember Theo’s best friend? My fiancé? He saw you
together one day last week in Hayden’s kitchen. He said she’d been
making you breakfast.”
Lash grimaced, and said nothing. He took
another drink, finishing the bottle. He pushed it off the table,
but it didn’t shatter when it hit the floor. He looked annoyed
about it, but didn’t get up.
I got up, walked to the bar, and got another
bottle of scotch. I brought it back with a shot glass, and sat
down.
He poured himself most of the bottle, then
made as if to hand it off. “You joining me?”
“Sure.”
He gave me a recriminating look. “You’re
pregnant.”
“One won’t hurt,” I said defensively. “I
intend to drink during the wedding toast. Besides, the baby’s
tough. He’s part demon, remember?”
Lash made another grimacing smile, but he
poured me a shot. We clinked glasses, and sipped. I hadn’t had
anything strong in a long while. My eyes teared up almost
immediately at the bitter alcohol taste, and I put down the glass.
Serves you right for being a bad mom. Now pour
the rest out when he’s not looking.
“So what happened?” I asked again.
“Why do you care?” Lash hissed, baring his
fangs. “Who am I to you?”
“Someone who cared about me when no one else
did,” I replied. “Someone who saved my life, and got me out of
town, when a madman was after me. I’m sitting here because you did
what you did. I’m going to be a mother and a wife and I got a
chance to, because of you. And you were more to me than that once,
too, you ass.”
Lash considered that, then threw his head
back and took a long drink. I poured my shot remnant out discreetly
on the floor, then pretended to do the same.
“I didn’t do it for you, I did it for me,”
Lash said, lighting up another cigarette. “I told you that. Go home
to your demon fiancé. Leave me to my misery.”
I stared at him, raising my eyebrows just a
bit.
“I thought if I could save just one,” Lash
hissed softly, his flat eyes revealing nothing. “Maybe it would
change things. Maybe I wouldn’t be damned.”
“You aren’t damned.”
“I am! Sar doesn’t want me because I’m a
piece of shit killer! Everyone knows it! Everyone!”
“She loves you.”
“She doesn’t! She told me to stay away from
her!”
“Lash, don’t be an idiot! She left Theo for
you—”
“She didn’t! She left him because he attacked
her!”
“She did! Terian said she did, that he knew
she loved you most of all her lovers! All of them!”
“He’s wrong,” Lash hissed sadly. “She loved
Theo and Danial, but not me. She told me she’d never be with me
again. She told me to stay away from her.” Lash took a deep breath
and let it out. “I’ve had enough, Sun.”
I felt a cold chill. His next words were
worse
“I’m going to drink until I can’t feel
anything anymore,” Lash hissed softly. “And then I’m going to
finish it.”
“Women get mad and say things they don’t
mean! Don’t be an idiot.”
“She shouldn’t have found me, and saved me!
She should have stayed here, and I would have died, and that would
have been that!”
“But she didn’t! She loved you enough to
almost give her life to save you—”
“How do you know all this?” Lash hissed.
“Titus said he erased the memories of anyone else who knew.”
“He will, after the baby comes,” I said,
patting my stomach. “But he can’t safely, until then. So I know
what really happened, not the whitewashed version.”
“It hurts too much,” Lash hissed, agony in
each word. “It hurts too much to care for someone, and have them
take themselves away from you. I had no idea it would still hurt
this much. I’d forgotten how much it hurt.”
“That’s always the same,” I said shrugging,
thinking of Terian and myself, and the times we’d fought and broken
up, and how glad I was that was over with now. “You must have hurt
her too, with what you must have said to her when you fought.”
“I know I did,” Lash said guiltily. “I feel
awful for that, too. The things I told her...I didn’t mean
them.”
“So apologize.”
“She won’t take me back,” Lash hissed in
sadness. “She doesn’t want to be a snake for me—”
“Did you ask her?” I interrupted.
He shook his head.
“Ask her, jerk,” I said. “You may be
surprised. What do you have to lose?”
“My dignity, my pride, and my self-respect.
And that’s all I have left.”
“So it’s better to die than to say you were
wrong? Than to tell her you need her like that, and give her a
chance to say she’ll do it?”
“You’re young, you can’t understand! I’ve
lost the one woman who maybe ever really loved me because of who
and what I am! And there’s nothing I can do about it. She’s human
and I’m not. I can’t not be a weresnake. And I can’t go back and
erase the last hundred years! And what other woman do I have that’s
my own, that belongs to me? None. Who else do I have that really
loves me? Who else did I ever have? Who else will I ever have? No
one! There has never been any woman for me like her. Not in my
whole fucking life.”
God, he sounded just like I did, back when
I’d broken up with Terian. I reached out and took his hand in mine,
making him start. “You aren’t alone,” I said softly. “I’m your
friend, Lash. And I know for a fact she loves you more than her
life. It doesn’t matter that you aren’t human, not to either of
us.”
Lash covered my hand with his, and squeezed.
He gave me a sad smile. “It was okay for a long, long time to be
alone, to have Dev, and nothing else. I stayed in this life so long
for him, because I knew he was as lonely as I was, despite all the
women he had throwing themselves at him. I knew he needed me with
him, because a big part of the reason for his evil was he was so
lonely. But he has his child now, and he’s got Sar. He doesn’t need
me like he did. And I got a taste of something so sweet with her, I
can’t go on living and never taste it again. I can’t go back to
being alone, to being by myself again, to just fucking women when I
get the urge and knowing they don’t care about me at all. Not after
how being with her made me feel. Not after how she made me
feel.”
God, I knew what he was talking about. I’d
felt the same way after loving Terian, and being loved by him. I
understood right then that Lash loved Sar, loved her completely,
and that she most likely loved him the same way.
“Go home to Hayden,” I said, exasperated.
“She loves you like you love her. Say you’re sorry, and that you
need her as a snake. She’ll forgive you, and be with you like you
need her to, and you can be happy—”
“Get out,” he said curtly, not looking at me.
“I don’t want you to be here when I do it. I’d rather you
remembered me this way, not covered in blood. And there’s going to
be a lot of blood Sun, I heal too fast now for there not to
be.”
“Lash, please,” I begged. “Don’t do
this.”
“Go home, Sun. There’s nothing left to say.
I’ve made my decision. Respect it, and leave.”
I got up, went over to him, and hugged him
hard. “Don’t do this.”
He let out a surprised hiss, then hugged me
back. “I wish you the best with Terian. I’m sorry for what I said
to you that day at Danial’s house. I want you to know I never told
anyone about us—not Sar, not Dev, no one. I wish I would have seen
you get married. I’m glad you’re getting a happy ending.”
“We can both have a happy ending, stupid!
Come with her to the wedding! Stop being such an ass!”
“I can’t,” Lash hissed, and then grinned when
he realized what he’d said. “But think of me sometimes, okay? Maybe
say a prayer for me, when Terian isn’t around to get hurt by
it?”
“Okay,” I said, getting to my feet. “I’ll
go.” Gary’s invitation could wait. I had to get to a phone.
Lash grabbed me hard, and gave me a deep
kiss, stroking me with his tongue. It felt strange to me, just like
before, but I made myself kiss him back.
He drew back from me with a soft aroused
hiss. “I’m mated to Sar, even though she said it was over. If I
wasn’t, I’d ask to have you one last time right here, Sun. I
remember how good it was with you. But you’re pregnant, and love
Terian and so you’d probably say no, anyway.”
“I’m engaged,” I said, giving him a smile.
“Sorry.”
Lash made a face, then sat me down on his
lap, holding me. “I’m the one who is sorry,” he hissed gently. “I
shouldn’t have left when you asked me to stay, or I should have
taken you with me. I understand things better now, from knowing
Sar. I’m sorry I didn’t give you the chance to try. It was easier
to say I had to go, because I couldn’t face trying again and have
it not work out with a human.”
“It’s okay,” I said, feeling uncomfortable.
“You did what you thought you had to.”
“Could you have loved me?” Lash hissed,
looking up at me, his face sad and worn. “If I’d given you the
chance to?”
“In time, yes,” I said honestly. “I already
loved you as a friend. It wouldn’t have been far to go to love you
as more than a friend.”
“Kiss me good-bye, then,” he said longingly.
“Kiss me one last time, my morning angel.”
I kissed him for all I was worth, and then
got up, blushing. As I got up, Lash grabbed one of my hands, and
touched his lips to it briefly. The act was quick, but I was struck
by it, that he who could be so cold and brutal and nasty had some
of the gentleness of Terian, at least when he wanted to.
“Goodbye, Sun,” Lash hissed. Then he looked
away from me.
I nodded, and left, letting the door swing
shut behind me as I walked outside, then flipped open my cell phone
and began dialing. The inside phone at Davy’s had been ripped out
of the wall. And the ancient one outside was partway under Lash’s
Hummer, where he had driven it up into the side of the
building.
There were two rings, then a click.
“Hayden.”
I took a deep breath. “Devlin, please.”
“Who is this?”
“A friend of Lash and Sar’s. I must speak to
Devlin.”
“He’s not in at the moment. Can I take a
message?”
“Listen, this is a fucking emergency! Now get
him on the line!”
“Hold on. I know where he is. I’ll patch you
through to his cell phone.”
There was silence, and then that beautiful
voice, one I hadn’t heard in years.
“Yes? This is Devlin.”
God, please let him not
sing.
“Lash is at Davy’s. He fought with Sar and she told
him they were done. He’s thinking of killing himself, once he’s
drunk enough not to feel the bullets. Get here as soon as you
can.”
“Who is this?” Devlin hissed. “If this is a
woman of yours, Ulysses, you’ll rue—”
“It’s Sundown, Devlin. But maybe you’ve
forgotten my voice? It has been years.”
There was utter silence. And despite my
bravado, I felt an old chill creep down my spine. I forced myself
to keep talking.
“Get there ASAP,” I said. “You have maybe
forty-five minutes to an hour, tops. Because he’s going to do it,
if someone doesn’t stop him.”
“Why are you trying to save him?” he asked
curiously. “Why do you care, Sun? I didn’t think either Sar or Lash
were your friends. And after what you and I—”
“I care about
them
,
both of
them
,” I said quietly, making a
point. “Get there in time, or he’s going to kill himself.”
“I’ll leave immediately for Davy’s, as soon
as I find Sar and get her to teleport us. I thought they
were...well, never mind, I didn’t know they had fought. I thank you
for your help.” He paused. “And I’m sorry,” he added quietly. “For
what I did to you, that night all those years ago.”
“You’d do it again in a heartbeat if Sar
wasn’t your own now, if she’d have gotten away from you!” I rasped,
shaking in rage. “You weren’t sorry back then, and you aren’t
now.”
“You’re right, I’m not sorry,” Devlin purred,
his voice instantly losing its sad tone. “I should be, I know, but
I’m not. I loved having you that night, pretending you were her. It
was some of the most satisfying sex I ever had, and that’s saying
something. You brought my happy thoughts back, Sun.”
“It was the worse sex I’ve ever had,” I lied
harshly. “It was pathetic.”
That seemed to piss him off, for some reason.
“You came screaming your little heart out, Sun! You enjoyed
it.”
“Because of a drug, not anything you did,” I
said, laughing cruelly. “You’re supposed to be this great lover,
Dev, and you didn’t even kiss me! Not once! You relied on a drug to
give me pleasure. It wasn’t any skill of yours that made me come.
I’d have come for anyone under that drug. Anyone! Do you really
have any skill yourself in bed?”
“I do!” Devlin choked out, mortified.
“I—”
God, this is fucking
satisfying!
“You’re nothing but a cad, and everyone knows
it! Sar knows it! She’ll never love you, not really!”
“She does love me!” he shouted, desperation
coloring each word. “She does! She’s giving me her Oath in two
days!”
“She loves Lash,” I whispered maliciously.
“She loved Danial. She probably loved Theo, at least a little. But
she’ll never love you. Because she can see right through to the
core of you like I can. What she sees is rotted and black with
evil!”
“She does love me,” Devlin said morosely.
“But you’re right. She loved them more. All of them.” His voice
strengthened. “But it doesn’t matter. I love her, Sun. More than
anything. I thank you, for telling me about Lash. I’ll go there now
with Sar. I know Lash, and it will take him a good while to work up
the will to do it, being were by birth. He’ll need another hour at
least to get drunk enough.” Devlin paused. “Can I do anything to
repay you? I am sorry about hurting you. It was wrong, and despite
my enjoyment of you, I admit I shouldn’t have done what I did.”