Authors: Tara Fox Hall
Tags: #vampire, #fear, #sex, #happiness, #shifter, #virgin, #stripper, #catalyst, #tragic past, #promise me
The night before Christmas Eve, I came in
from the surf to witness Lash drinking heavily in front of the TV,
watching
The Bodyguard
. I was surprised he
had chosen that over all the hundreds of DVDs in the nearby rack.
What was more strange to me was Lash seemed to be getting emotional
over it, something I hadn’t known was possible.
Even though I was naturally curious, I
intended to ignore him at first. Whatever past love he was mourning
wasn’t my concern or my business. Yet I went back, because like it
or not, it was the Christian thing to do, and tomorrow being
Christmas, I knew God might have done this on purpose to see if I’d
take the bait, so to speak. I also felt I owed him a favor on some
level; Lash had saved me from Lars, even if I’d been mortified
about what he’d done afterwards as a punishment. “What is it?” I
asked. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I expected Lash to tell me to leave him
alone, or to tell me to fuck off, like I heard him tell the guards
some variation of that almost every day. Instead, he answered me.
“Do you think she loved him? That if he would have stayed with her,
she might have loved him?”
“No,” I replied honestly. “You should watch
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
. That’s better use of
that song, anyway.” Nick had shown me that movie, said it was one
of his favorites. He was a big Dolly Parton fan. He insisted his
attraction to the star was her musical talent, but I knew it was
just her breasts.
Men.
“You’re probably right,” Lash hissed sadly,
with more emotion in his tone than I had ever heard. “It was stupid
to think anything else.”
“Did you leave someone behind?” I said,
sitting down beside him. “A woman you cared for?”
“Just a friend,” Lash hissed quietly.
“Someone who was trying to be friends with me, anyways. But there
might have been more, if I hadn’t left.”
“Why haven’t you called her?” I said
reproachfully. “I’ll bet you haven’t,”
“She loves another man, not me. I don’t want
to fuck that up for her.”
This sounded familiar. “That hasn’t stopped
Devlin.”
“I’m not Devlin,” Lash interrupted, his tone
an odd mixture of pleasure and sadness. “I don’t love her, like he
loves Sar. I care more that she’s happy than that I get her for
myself.” He paused. “Besides, she’s human. It wouldn’t have worked
anyway, it never does. I should fucking well know better, old as I
am.”
I held my tongue, a barrage of questions
threatening to spill out.
He’s putting her
happiness ahead of his own. This sounds far more like love to me
than Devlin’s feelings for Sar. And what human had wanted Lash?
What are these women seeing in him that I’m not? Is it because of
my animal side, that I can never look at him and see anything but a
snake?
“You can’t be sure,” I said slowly.
“Everyone’s different. Some women can accept things other women
wouldn’t.”
“No. It’s better this way,” Lash said with
finality, getting up and turning off the movie. “And that’s
that.”
“Call her,” I said firmly. “She might be
thinking of you. Maybe she can fly down here and visit.”
Lash turned, and gave me a cold look. “Don’t
be giving me advice, like you give Dev. You’re getting his hopes up
for nothing, Serena. And I’m going to be pissed at you, if nothing
comes of this, after all of your instructions to him about how to
win her.” He paused. “And he will be, too.”
He gave me a final look of warning, then
strode out of the room.
* * * *
On Christmas Eve I lit a candle at midnight,
and told God I was thankful for all he had given me. It wasn’t much
by way of an offering, but I thought He would like it. I’d gone to
church earlier again with Nick, and given my tithe and my thanks
there, also. I truly was grateful.
That is what
matters, right?
I wasn’t expecting any presents, but to my
surprise, I got two gifts. Nick got me a dozen pink roses, and
Vince got me a box of expensive chocolate, both of them saying a
little sheepishly that their families had always celebrated
Christmas. I took them, feeling happy and grateful enough, so I
agreed to be in bear form for them again in a week, which made both
men very happy.
* * * *
The night after Christmas, a hurricane moved
close to the coast. The waves were huge, and the wind bent the palm
trees almost double, snapping more than a few. I was uneasy, but
got my flashlight ready in case. Lash had cautioned me that morning
that we might need to evacuate, if it got bad enough. He also
warned me that if an alarm sounded to make my way downstairs to the
basement, where a shelter was equipped to help us ride out the
storm.
But I needn’t have worried. Vince came to me
at dusk holding a duffel bag of supplies, telling me while he
believed we were safe that he would sleep with me that night just
in case the worst happened and we had to evacuate. I fell asleep
with him holding me, feeling peaceful.
I woke up to hear the howling of the wind,
and some thunder booming loud enough to shake the room. Vince slept
on, snoring. I listened to the storm for five minutes, then decided
I needed something soothing to restore my rattled nerves. I got out
of bed, carefully moving Vince over, knowing better than to wake
him.
He’ll think sex is the perfect way to soothe
me.
I went downstairs in my robe, and made myself
some hot chocolate. I was just taking it out of the microwave when
a crash of thunder startled me. I took a sudden step backwards and
bumped into the counter, letting out a cry of surprise. “Shit,” I
said under my breath, breathing a sigh of relief.
I took a sip from my steaming mug.
Ah, just right.
A bolt of lightning illuminated the kitchen,
and Lash in the doorway, watching me. I let out another cry,
clutching the counter with my free hand.
“Sorry for startling you,” he hissed, not
sounding like he meant it at all.
“It’s okay,” I said, giving him a smile. “I
couldn’t sleep with the storm outside.”
“I heard it, too,” Lash hissed. “Want to
share some cow?” he added a little awkwardly. “I wanted a little
something before going back to bed myself.”
Should I decline his
request?
He would be offended if I did. And I was hungry.
“Sure. That would be nice.”
Lash went to the refrigerator and removed a
hunk of steak from the bottom drawer marked “Lash” in large block
letters. He grabbed one of the kitchen knives, and divided it in
half, handing me half on a plate, and taking the other half for
himself. We went into the dining room and began to eat, using only
our hands.
It was delicious, more so than the meat we
usually had which was expensive steak. “This is wonderful. What is
it that it’s so much better than what we usually eat?”
“Organic,” he said, licking his fingers. “No
drugs. It gives the meat a sweeter taste.”
“So you order this specially?”
“Yes. I like to have it for a treat a few
times a week.”
“So no chocolate for you?” I teased.
“No,” he said, flicking his eyes to me then
away. “No chocolate for me.”
Our meat was soon finished. I gathered up the
plates, and took them into the kitchen to wash. I turned on the
faucet, rinsing them, as Lash came up behind me, putting his arms
on either side of me and gripping the counter. I went still.
“Did you like the meat?” he hissed in my
ear.
My body broke out in a cold sweat. “Yes,” I
said, swallowing hard. “Thank you for sharing it with me.”
“I want to share something else with you,” he
hissed lustfully.
I trembled, wanting to scream and knowing if
I did, a fight would ensue, a fight that Vince was sure not to win.
“No, please.”
Lash’s hands went over mine, and held them
down to the counter with force, so I couldn’t move. He trapped my
body between the sink and himself, his erection against my rear,
hard and ready. “Just hold still,” he hissed in my ear. “I want to
feel your body against mine.”
Snake!
My animal
side was petrified, frozen. I gathered my human courage. “No. Stop
it, Lash.”
“Be quiet,” he hissed gently. “I won’t hurt
you.” He pressed his body tight to my back, and taking hold of my
wrists, he wrapped my arms around me without letting go. He rubbed
his face in my hair, and then pressed it to the back of my neck,
groaning. Then he began to slide my arms and his down toward my
hips. I struggled, but he was stronger than I was, and I got
nowhere, and still his hands slid lower. Finally, they were at my
hips. He pushed his pelvis against mine, pulling back with his arms
to force my body tight against his. “Tell me I can,” he hissed to
me, his voice full of need. “Please, I’ll give you any price you
want. Just let me inside. I want to be warm. Please, Serena.”
I almost did it. My human side said to
submit, that once I’d sated him I’d be free. With the sheer need in
his voice, he wouldn’t last long. Yet my nose was full of his snake
scent, my animal half in rising panic, telling me I had to run or
be killed, that he was death. I forced my growing anxiety down,
trying to keep control. “No,” I managed. “I’m sorry, but no.”
“You know I don’t need to ask you,” he hissed
angrily. “I’m asking to be nice. But if you aren’t nice to me, I’ll
just do what I did to Esperanza.” His voice dropped lower. “Only
this time, it won’t be role-playing.”
My terror and panic mounting, I forced myself
not to scream. No one would hear me anyway. The shutters were
rattling loudly, the sound of breaking and falling palm trees
barely audible over the howl of the wind. “Stop, or Devlin
will—”
“Dev will do nothing,” he hissed confidently
in my ear. “Save request I pay you for your time. And I’ll do that
gladly, ten times over.”
I began to shift form, thinking to escape him
that way. Lash saw the fur sprouting on my arms and tightened his
grip. “You turn, and I’ll turn, too, little coyote,” he hissed
darkly. “You want it that way?”
In his coils. I’ll be in
his snake coils!
My dread shot up. “No! Stop!”
“Tell me ‘yes’,” he hissed menacingly. “Tell
me ‘yes’ now, Serena.” His voice dropped lower. “Or I’ll just stop
pretending you have a choice.”
My thin veneer of control cracked in half, my
fear bursting through in a long, loud wail of terror. “No!” I
screamed, sobbing. “No! Let me go! I don’t want you! Leave me
alone!” I cried hard, waiting for Lash to pull up my nightgown, to
take me as he’d threatened to, knowing I had no power to stop
him.
Instead, he swore loudly and abruptly let me
go, leaving the kitchen.
Swiping at my falling tears, I ran to my room
as fast as I could, locked the door, and had a good long cry
snuggled into Vince’s sleeping arms. That night I promised myself
never, ever to be alone with Lash again.
Chapter
Nine
On December twenty-sixth, hell broke loose. I
woke up to a pounding on my door. I got up, slipped on my robe, and
ran to the door. Nick was there, his mood wild and happy. “Serena,
we’re going home!” he said with glee. “Pack your bags! We’re
leaving tonight.”
“What?” I uttered, stunned.
“He said pack your shit!” Lash hissed loudly,
stalking by. “The plane leaves in four hours. If you aren’t on it,
you’ll be left behind.”
Nick rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything
until Lash was on his way downstairs. Then he pushed me inside the
room, and shut the door. “Devlin’s frantic. Something is very wrong
at home. He talked to his brother last night, and he’s been on the
phone ever since, arranging the plane, and talking to Titus.”
“Who’s Titus?” I asked curiously.
“He’s one of Devlin’s men, the magic man who
made those potions we’ve been using. He’s been watching Hayden,
Devlin’s estate in the US, for the past few months. You’ll like
him, Serena.”
I looked around at my bed, and everything I’d
come to think of as mine. “Do we have to leave all this
behind?”
“Hayden’s beautiful,” Nick assured me,
slipping his arms around my shoulders. “It’s true, this place is
nice, but it’s really too fancy for me, and the rest of the guys.
It’s not home.”
“It’s become home to me,” I said sadly. “I
was happy here, Nick.”
“You’ll be happy there, too,” Nick said,
brushing my cheek with his lips. “Vince and I’ll be there with you,
along with Kev, and the rest of the bears. We’ll have good
times.”
I knew I didn’t want to leave. I’d lived here
my whole life.
But what choice do I have, really?
What’s left for me here, if I stay behind? Going back to the diner
to work? Scraping by on macaroni and cheese?
I couldn’t do
it, not after how I’d lived so well, these past few months. “I’d
better get packing,” I said, gently pulling away from his embrace.
“I have a lot more to bring with me than I did months ago.”
“I have to pack too,” Nick said, letting me
go. “But Vince and I’ll help you like before. Just pile boxes near
the door, and we’ll take them out. There is a semi already here in
the driveway, ready to take our stuff to the airport. Anything can
be taken except furniture.”
I began to pack as Nick left, shutting the
door behind him. There was a lot to take. I’d spent a week’s pay
each month just on new clothing, another on books and music; all
the things I hadn’t been able to afford before. But I’d saved the
rest, all of it that I hadn’t given in tithe anyway.
There’s a lot, but
I haven’t been
too sinful.
The hours passed quickly, Vince and Nick
carrying my boxes downstairs as fast as I packed them. Other bears
were also going back and forth hurriedly, carrying boxes and
calling out questions, Lash and Devlin’s voices sometimes heard
giving curt answers.