Authors: Noël Cades
But she soon joined his rhythm, wanting him deeper and deeper inside her. Squeezing muscles she didn’t even know she had to take him in further, to keep him within her. Pushing against him also pressed the front of her against him, the most sensitive spot, giving her extra stimulation.
She had closed her eyes, but she opened them to see him looking at her, his eyes reading her face. When he saw her look back at him he moved his hand to brush her hair from the side of her face, and brought his lips down on hers, pausing just for a moment.
He broke off and looked at her again.
"You are so beautiful."
She felt desired and desirable. Having him, this man so much older than her, so much more experienced, want her so badly. And yet she felt doubt. Was she doing this right? Was she satisfying him?
But he made her forget these thoughts as he pressed his body on top of her more closely, shifting up, and then continued to drive into her. It made his strokes shallower but more intense, the base of him now rubbing directly against her clitoris.
Alice cried out involuntarily, and grasped him to intensify the sensation. She felt completely in his control, in his embrace. She felt complete.
And then it overtook her. Like spasms that she couldn’t resist, couldn’t prevent. Rocking through her, white lightning in her body, through her stomach. The desperate, aching need for him to thrust harder, faster, take her through it. She was losing herself.
She heard him catch his breath and he strained and drove into her more powerfully, two or three times, more abruptly. Everything was happening at the same time, he was crushing her but she didn’t care, grasping her so hard it would leave marks.
Then a wetness and a solution: he was dissolved into her.
They were both hot, damp, exhausted.
He withdrew and she hated him sliding out of her. It felt like she was losing him. But his lips were on hers again, tender, gentle. He murmured something that she couldn’t hear and drew her against his chest.
He fell asleep quickly, she didn’t sleep for some time. But she was safe, she was held. She was drained by the day, fulfilled by him, spent. Sleep lulled over her.
At some point during the night she half awoke, or realised in her dreams that she was in love with him. And she didn’t even care how he felt about her. Because right now she was with him, and it was enough.
In the morning, or later in the morning since it must have been nearly dawn when they had gone to bed, Alice woke. She was still in his arms, they were lying naked together. She could hardly believe she was here after wanting him for so long.
She wasn’t sure how he was going to react when he woke. Would he regret it? Had he planned this? She glanced around the room trying to spot clues about his life but there wasn’t a lot to see. It was a rented flat, he would only have been here for a couple of months. Still, it was his place and he must have left some mark on it.
Alice thought she must look terrible. All crumpled from sleep and no make up and her hair messed up everywhere. She wondered if she could sneak out and try and groom herself in some way. The thought of putting on last night’s clothes was not very appealing as they probably had the overdose girl’s vomit on them. In fact she was sure they did.
But she was trapped in his arms and if she moved he might wake. Just for now she had her own time, her own peaceful time when only she was awake. And she loved being held by him so much.
She couldn’t see his face because she was at his neck level so she wriggled upwards. The movement woke him, he opened his eyes and looked at her. She hadn’t studied him quite this close up.
"Good morning." He looked amazing, even rumpled from sleep.
"Good morning," she replied, relieved that he remained holding her. He obviously wasn’t repelled by her morning appearance.
His arms still around her, he looked grave. "Last night, Alice, were you… was it your first time?"
She felt herself blush. Had she been that obviously inexperienced? "Yes."
He swore. "I had no idea until it was too late to stop. I just assumed… I’m sorry."
"Don’t be, I don’t mind. I wanted to do it." She had wanted to do it with him more than anything, to have him for her first time. But she didn’t tell him this.
"I would have taken more care, gone slower. Did I hurt you?" he asked.
"No, barely. Just for a second and then it was perfect."
"It gets better." Her heart leapt when he said this. Please, please let there be a next time. She couldn’t handle it if he blew cold on her again now. "But still, I shouldn’t have, I wouldn’t have…" he continued.
"You wouldn’t have done it if you knew I was a virgin?"
"I don’t know. God knows I wanted you. But probably not, not like this."
"I loved it," she told him. I love you, she thought.
"You know I’ve been fighting this?" he said.
"I did guess, yes." It had been very obvious. Kissing her twice in the pavilion was hardly subtle.
He pushed hair back from her face. "You are so beautiful. But also so young. I feel like I’m taking advantage."
"You’re not, so please don’t feel bad. I wanted it just as much. I’ve wanted it for weeks."
He frowned, worried suddenly. "You know that I didn’t use anything? Are you ok?"
Oh god. He meant was she on the pill, which she wasn’t. Why oh why hadn’t she gone with Becky to the family planning clinic to get on it just in case? She had meant to but just hadn’t got around to it. "I don’t know. I think so." She ran some mental calculations about when she was due. "It’s probably fine. I can get the morning after pill."
"If that’s what you want, I can drive you wherever you need later." He ran his hand along the contours of her body as she lay on her side, down to her hip. Then he brought it over her stomach and cupped his fingers over her breast. "Right now I want you again." She could feel just how much, he was rock hard against her thigh. "But are you too sore from last night?"
She probably was but she didn’t care, she wanted him inside her again so much. And if she was going to get the morning after pill they may as well go for broke.
So she smiled and kissed him lightly on the lips and moved her hand down to hold him. He twitched when she touched him. She could feel herself growing wet just at his proximity and the way his hands made her skin shiver with delight. His fingers moved between her legs, probing firmly but gently. "Tell me if I’m hurting you."
"You’re not." She gasped as he flicked a finger over just the right place.
"Just there?" He increased the pressure with his thumb, moving it in a circular motion.
"Oh god yes, but stop, I don’t want to… like this."
"What do you want, Alice?"
"I want you inside me." She felt kind of brazen saying it but her desire for him simply overwhelmed everything.
He moved her onto her back and pushed her legs apart. He positioned himself at her entrance. Teasing her, he wouldn’t enter her fully. "How much do you want me?"
"More than anything." Please, now.
He pushed in just a little way. She was sore but she hid it, she knew the pain would be blotted out by pleasure once he was fully inside her. "Enough?"
"No, more. All of you."
He pulled out again. He was making her beg for it.
"Please, please don’t stop," she said.
He smiled and teased her for a little longer, then with a smooth hard thrust that made her catch her breath he was inside her, all the way. He lay on top of her, pressed into her as deeply as he could, and she writhed her hips around to draw him in further. She loved the weight of him, his strength. The smell of his skin.
"I won’t last thirty seconds if you keep that up," he warned her.
"I don’t care, I can’t help it." As she writhed she could rub against him so she had pressure exactly where she wanted it. He had his hands on her breasts, his thumbs brushing over her nipples. It was as though all the most sensitive parts of her body were linked by shining electric wires, everything working together with the hugeness of him inside her, so incredibly hard and deep.
Then when he thrust into her a couple more times, hard, tightening her wires it was too much and she was pushed over the edge and lost it at the same moment he did.
"Jesus Christ I’m like a schoolboy around you. No control."
Alice was happy regardless. She was satisfied, utterly satiated by him.
"What I want to do is take my time and make love to you slowly, so you know what it’s supposed to be like," he told her. The fact he said "making love" made her feel giddy.
"It’s not supposed to be like that?"
"Not that quick, no."
"We can go again then," she said.
"I need some time to recover. And so do you. Come and shower with me."
She followed him into the bathroom where the shower cubicle quickly filled with steam and hot water. Stepping in it, with him, felt wonderful. She was enveloped in it. She kissed water off his chest and neck and he ran his hands over her body before tilting her head up to kiss him. The water ran down their faces and in their mouths. It was like drinking one another.
He was soon hard again, and when she felt it she broke off the kiss and knelt down and took him in her mouth. The water was running in rivulets over her head. She was warm and drenched.
He tasted clean, warm and wet and she swirled her tongue around him. She had done this before but never really known how she was supposed to do it. He was also far larger than she had ever experienced.
He groaned, and held her head. Said her name. She really wished he would give her some direction but she went by instinct and tried to balance being firm and gentle and take him as deep as she could. Which given his size wasn’t very far.
They got into a rhythm, he was rocking into her and she was trying to match it with her hands and mouth. She had her eyes shut because the water got into them otherwise, and she found it easier to focus on him with them closed.
Then he pulled away quickly. "Let’s go back to bed. I want you properly."
They fell onto the bedclothes, still dripping wet, embracing. This time he went down on her, his head between her thighs. Alice had usually found it hard to relax when her ex tried this, but having just showered she felt clean, relaxed, confident, desiring and desirable.
She lay back, loving that he wanted to do this to her.
He knew exactly what he was doing. He licked up the inside of her thighs and over her sensitive folds, sliding between them. She felt his tongue inside her and it made her squirm with delight.
Then his hands were grasping her hips, pushing her onto his face as he put his mouth over her clitoris and sucked her, running his tongue over her. He kept up a rhythm that was bringing her to the brink.
He moved one hand down and pushed a couple of fingers inside her, she was so slick and wet for him that it was easy, she no longer felt any soreness from the penetration. He curled them inside her and she shuddered and gasped.
Alice had her hands in his hair, winding her fingers through it. She loved what he was doing. But she wanted him, the fullness. She pulled him up towards her and he understood.
Wordlessly, gazing into her eyes he moved over her body and pushed into her slowly, filling her completely with his length. He could go so deep it was almost uncomfortable yet she craved it. He lay there above her, looking down at her. Neither of them spoke.
He began to move in and out of her, long, slow strokes. He bent his head down and kissed her, his lips on hers, his tongue exploring her mouth and she opened to him and reciprocated. They were joined, fully joined, united.
I will never get enough of this, Alice thought. Never.
And as he increased his pace, and thrust harder and harder bringing them both to completion again, she knew her world was changed. Everything in her future would now be seen through the lens of what she felt for him. All the things she wanted, all the things she planned.
When they finally got dressed he lent her a clean shirt to wear. It was far too big for her but she rolled the sleeves up. She loved the fact that she was wearing his clothes.
She sat in his kitchen while he made them coffee and toast. "Back home we’d go out for breakfast but everywhere’s closed here," he said.
Alice thought she should try and check whether Jules had got back safely. She couldn’t ring Jules’ house because they were supposed to be together, along with Kate. If neither of them were back when she rang it would give the game away. She would have to call Becky instead.
But that could wait a little longer. Right now she wanted to stay in the bubble of just her and Mr Walker as long as possible.
"So what happens at school next week?" she asked him. She wanted to say "what happens with us?" but it might sound presumptuous and perhaps there was no "us". Maybe he would hugely regret what had happened and distance himself again.
"We’ll just have to be careful, and make sure you don’t call me Stewart in front of anyone," he said.
"I can call you Stewart?" The thought hadn’t actually occurred to her yet.
"You can hardly keep calling me Mr Walker after last night."
Stewart. Alice and Stewart. Did this mean he did want something more? She summoned up her courage. "Do you still want to, I mean…" She was fumbling to find the right words.
"Do I want to see you again? What do you think."
Before she could reply he came over and kissed her. "Yes, Alice, I want to see you again. As unwise and wrong as it probably is."
"It’s neither. I’m an adult, I won’t even be in school anymore in two more weeks," she said.
"That doesn’t suddenly make you the same age as me. I doubt your parents will be thrilled."
Alice didn’t want to think about her parents right now. "They’ll be ok. As long as I get my results and my university place anyway." And then go travelling. But that was months away. She had three whole months before then. Three whole months of summer and seeing him, if it lasted.