Sudden Devotion (25 page)

“I don’t believe it. She never wanted it. When we – oh Christ. We were helping her abuse herself, because she thought she deserved it?” Theo muttered to himself.

“I thought I felt low when I told my wife the news, but to know that we had been defiling Donna’s body while she was secretly wishing she were dead. Jesus, what kind of a hell did we put her through?” Theo added

“What about Colby, though?” George asked. “Why isn’t he tearing us to shreds?”

“Because right now, all that matters is her. He loves her. No matter what she did, he can’t change that. No amount of anger or pain could keep him from helping her when she really needed him.” Peter sighed. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have something important that I need to take care of.”

They all waved at him. Peter hadn’t yet told them about the events of the previous night. They didn’t know he was a man walking the proverbial plank right now. In a very short time, he would be left with nothing, just like them. It was a miserable club to be a member of.

Colby and Donna walked out of the office. “Please tell Peter I said goodbye. And Mitch, I hope he is able to win Sara back. Goodbye.” It was a short and simple farewell.

Colby had glared at the men as he walked by holding his wife close to his side. “We’ll never see her again, will we?” George asked Theo.

“No. She’ll never be back.” Theo smiled. “She deserves this, though. She, above all else, deserves a second chance.” He patted his friend on the shoulder and headed toward the door with him. “I hope Mitch gets his, too.”

* * * *

Mitch walked in the apartment and knew instantly that she wasn’t there. The place had a certain sort of energy whenever she was around. But now, it held nothing but dead air.

Unconsciously, he walked through the apartment that had so recently become his home. Not just a place he shared with Sara, but a home. Having Sara was having a home. He touched things of hers as he walked through.

When he made it to the kitchen, he remembered the lab report. He took it out of his back pocket and began meticulously trying to straighten it out, trying to erase the creases. He placed it on the refrigerator with a magnet and stared at it.

That one piece of paper held the proof he needed to assure Sara he hadn’t been unfaithful to her. The sympathetic doctor had included in the report that with the amount of the over-the-counter sleep-aid that was still in his system this morning that there was no way he would have been able to function last night.

So, he now not only had proof that he was drugged, but he had conclusive evidence that he hadn’t been unfaithful to her. He touched a fingertip to the report once more. Trying to draw the energy from the importance of it.

Mitch walked back through the apartment and sat in a chair in the living room. He glanced at the sheets of paper lying on the coffee table. Houses. Houses she had driven around and picked up fact sheets on. Houses she liked the looks of enough that she wanted to see more.

If she would only come home. He would take her to look at a million houses if she would just come home. He had the time now. And when he didn’t have the time, he would make it. Alan had agreed to handle the rest of the trial prep work for Mitch, realizing he needed time to sort through the mess that had become his life.

Mitch stretched out his legs and got comfortable. He would wait right here until she came home. It didn’t matter how long it took. He would wait for her. He would wait, and he would make her understand. He had the proof, and he had witnesses now, but he prayed to God that would be enough.

One thing kept nagging the back of his mind. She had said that she
couldn’t
forget what she walked in on and that she
couldn’t
be with him anymore. It wasn’t that she said she
wouldn’t
. That would project some sort of anger or hurt. It was the term that she couldn’t that tore him in two. It was as if at that moment, she had withdrawn herself from the situation and their future had died at that same instance.

Chapter Nineteen

They sat quietly at the dinner table. The silence wasn’t helping her nerves. She knew he was trying to be supportive and understanding by giving her space, but if he didn’t say something soon, she was going to scream. She set her sandwich down on the plate and folded her hands in her lap.

“Why are you doing this?” she asked him.

Patrick seemed surprised by her question. “I told you, I just want to help you. I want to be here in case you need a friend. Please don’t angry with me.”

She shook her head. Angry with him? Had she sounded angry? She was angry with herself and with Mitch, but definitely not Patrick. “No, it’s not you, but I can’t stay here. I am angry, but not with you and I’m worried I’m going to end up taking it out on you.”

Patrick got up from the table and walked toward her. “That’s what you need,” he said when he got within inches of her. “You need to take it out on someone. Get angry, Sara. Yell at me, hit me, and just get angry. Scream until the pain goes away.”

She laughed. “So you want me to scream at you and hit you? You have a strange idea of friendship.”

“This isn’t about friendship right now. It’s about heartache. Now, I don’t know what that asshole was stupid enough to do, but obviously, it was bad. And there are only two ways to get over heartache. Tears and anger. You’ve shed the tears. So now it’s time for anger.” He gave her a teasing nudge on her shoulder.

“Don’t do that.” She smiled. “I’m not going to hit you, Patrick.”

“I’m not Patrick, I’m Mitch. I’m Mitch, and I hurt you, and I made you feel horrible. I’m standing right here, plain as day. I’m fine, but you’re not. You’re hurt because of me. Don’t you want to get back at me?” He gave her another nudge. A bit more aggressive this time.

“I said to stop it!” Sara snapped at him.

Patrick stared at her. “No. I am Mitch! Tell me how angry you are, how hurt you are!” He shoved her again, only harder.

Her restraint snapped. “Stop it!” She shoved him harder, much harder than he had her.

“Why should I? Tell me, Sara. I’m Mitch. Why are you so angry with me?”

Tears welled in her eyes, and she lunged at him. Screaming, she pounded on his chest over and over again. She wasn’t actually saying anything. They were just shouts of incomprehensible anger.

Patrick waited while she let all of her anger boil to the surface. When she had finally started to go lax, he grabbed onto her and held her as she cried in his arms.

“Shh. That’s good, Sara. Let it all out. Let me help you feel better.” Patrick held her with one hand and rubbed a hand up and down her back.

She looked up at him then, suddenly very aware of their closeness. “Patrick?”

“Yes, Sara.” He looked at her with a genuine look of concern in his eyes.

“Do you still, I mean, am I pretty? Do you still like me?” She felt foolish for asking such a childish question.

“I do, honey. But I don’t want you to…umph.” Patrick was cut off by Sara’s mouth crushing his. He was stunned at first, unsure what to do. He knew why she did it. But what role could he possibly play? He couldn’t be a part of her trying to forget about another man by way of seducing him. And he couldn’t reject her, either. She had already been hurt too badly.

“Sara.” Patrick slowly pulled away. “Why did you do that?” He was using both hands to massage the back of her neck and shoulders.

“Make love to me, Patrick.” She kissed him again.

Oh, God. Why him? He had wanted to hear those words come from her mouth so many times. But he knew she didn’t want him. He knew she wanted Mitch. She wanted Patrick to sleep with her until she forgot Mitch. If it was any other woman, he would be happy to oblige, but he really liked Sara. He didn’t want to be a rebound screw for her.

“Sara, we can’t.”

“Why? I thought you liked me?”

God, do I! “I do, Sara. That’s exactly why we can’t. If I make love with you, I won’t want it to be just once. I’ll want a relationship with you.”

A relationship? Mitch was out of her life. She would love him forever, but his betrayal had separated them for all eternity. She would never be able to lie with him at night after they had been sated by their lovemaking. Their bodies lax from their orgasms. Why should she be alone? Just because she would always love Mitch, did that mean that she couldn’t at least try to have something meaningful with someone else?

“Mitch is out of my life, Patrick. He used me. He lied to me. I need you. Please, make love to me. Show me that I’m still a woman.” She was undoing the buttons of his shirt.

“Sara, no,” he held her hands, stopping her. “If I make love with you, it will be because you want me, not because Mitch hurt you.”

She would not take no for an answer. She needed Patrick. She needed him to prove to her that she was desirable. She needed to know that she was worth it. That she wouldn’t always be second fiddle to someone like Claudia.

Sara released her hands from his hold. She relaxed them at her side and waited for him to do the same. Then when his guard was down, she grabbed his shirt and ripped it open. Buttons flew as she began laving him with wet hot kisses.

Patrick groaned as he threw his head back. “Sara, stop. We can’t do this.”

“I need you, Patrick. Please. Take me, make me yours.” Why had she said that, she wondered? She knew she would always belong to Mitch. It didn’t matter what he had done. She could give her body to Patrick, but her soul and her heart would always belong to Mitch.

“Sara, if you don’t stop this now, I’m not going to be able to stop myself. You need to think about that.”

She reached up and kissed his earlobe. “I’ve thought about it. Please, Patrick, take me to your bedroom. Make love to me there.”

He swept her up and carried her down the hall. When they got in the bedroom, he set her on the bed and leaned over her. He was kissing her feverishly as he began to lift the sweatshirt that she had borrowed from his sister’s stash of clothing.

Continuing to kiss her, he ran his thumbs over her breasts. They didn’t harden by his touch and he slid his hand down and under the waist band of the cotton shorts she wore.

Just as he touched her pussy she bolted from the bed. “You aren’t aroused are you Sara? You don’t want this do you?” He stated from the lack of her response. “Are you using sex as an outlet for your pain sweetheart?”

She stood on the other side of the room with her back to him, shaking from relentless tears.

“Sara. It’s okay.” Patrick placed his hands on her shoulder.

She didn’t turn to face him. “I’m so sorry, Patrick. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Neither one of them spoke for several moments when she finally turned to face him. “I have to leave. I have to go to him. Despite what he’s done, I still love him.”

“I know. I hope he realizes how lucky he is to have your heart.” He gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. “I’ll drive you home. But, Sara, whatever he did hurt you pretty bad. Make sure he never makes that mistake again. Don’t let him. Don’t let him forget how special you are.”

She gave him a somber smile. “I will. I don’t know how, but I will find a way to forgive him and give him a second chance.” She walked toward the door, holding her purse and her other clothes. “Patrick. Thank you, for everything.”

Chapter Twenty

Mitch walked out of the bathroom and flicked off the light. It was just after nine o’clock. A little more than twelve hours since he had last seen Sara. He had stopped calling her phone hours ago. It was clear she wasn’t going to answer. Twelve hours he mused. It seemed like it had been weeks since he last held her.

He was in the bedroom and changing into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt when he heard the front door. He darted out of the room and headed to the entryway. He froze still in his tracks.

Sara was saying goodnight to Patrick and giving him a hug when they heard him run in the room. Pulling away from Patrick’s embrace, she turned to see Mitch. The agony on his face was too painful for her to see.

She turned away. “Thank you for driving me home, Patrick.”

Mitch watched enraged as Patrick gently placed a kiss to her forehead. The bastard better get his hands off of her!

“Remember, I’m just a call away if you need me.” Patrick replied.

“Thank you.” She waited while he left and then closed the door and locked it.

Her back was still to Mitch. Was she afraid to turn back and face him? He loved her so much. It couldn’t truly be over. She was the best part of who he was.

He noticed her clothes on the hall table. The borrowed clothes on her body. Her freshly washed hair. Oh dear God. His heart shattered. She had slept with him. In her grief of his betrayal, she had turned to another man. He wanted to scream at the anguish he felt at the thought of another man touching her.

It was then that Sara slowly turned to face him. “Hello.” She didn’t know what else to say. “I…can we sit down and talk?”

This was it. She was asking him to leave. She was going to tell him they had no future together.

Suddenly, he didn’t care if she had turned to Patrick. All he cared about was there future. If she had slept with Patrick, it was only because she was hurt. Not because she loved him or wanted him. He would spend the rest of his life remembering that and helping her forget this horrible day ever happened if she would just hear him out and let him stay. Let him love her.