“Drugs,” he said without missing a beat.
“You ever tried coke?”
“Yes, with plenty of ice and I don’t like it.”
He chuckled.
“You know, I don’t remember tasting anything this good before.” He thought about licking the plate and reluctantly decided not to.
“Thanks, but I doubt that’s true.”
“Kate, it was seriously delicious.
I’ve eaten at some of the most expensive restaurants in London and New York but this tasted perfect.
Sort of savory, yet slightly sweet.
My tongue’s in blissful shock.
Maybe part of me has begun to live again.
Maybe it’s a sign.”
Kate smothered a giggle.
“You sound like some weird psycho…I mean psychic.”
He huffed.
“Talking of signs, have you thought about the chances of us colliding in the sea like that?”
“Unlucky,” Kate said, at the same time as Charlie said, “Luck.”
His heart lurched and Charlie knew, in that instant, she would try again.
He swallowed hard, choked by the mere thought of it.
Several moments passed before he could speak.
“What made you choose that stretch of beach?”
“I went there once.
I remembered…”
“What?”
“Having a good time.
Burying my father in the sand.”
“Please tell me it wasn’t a few months ago and you didn’t leave him there.”
He didn’t get the laugh he expected.
“No, we dug him up again.
Why did you pick it?”
“I went there as a child, too.
I wonder if we were ever on the beach together?
My brother and I were always trying to create the ultimate network of sand castles.”
“Remember the girl who jumped on them?
That would be me.”
He smiled.
“So why did you want to kill yourself?”
“Charlie, give over.
I’d heard that your CDs were a bit repetitive.”
“You’ve obviously never listened to any of them,” he blurted and then was cross with himself for reacting to the jibe.
“No.
Do you want ice cream?”
He nodded.
Had she really never listened to any of his stuff?
He was annoyed and then even more annoyed that it bothered him.
He got up from the floor and flopped on the couch.
How could she look sexy wearing sleep pants and a t-shirt?
He sighed.
Kate wasn’t going to fall in bed with him.
She came back with two blue ramekins, handed him one and sat on the floor facing him, with her back pressed against the wall.
“This isn’t ice cream,” Charlie said after the first mouthful.
“Frozen zabaglione.
Cream, eggs and Marsala.”
“It’s angel food.” He sat up.
“God, I’m dead, aren’t I?
I drowned and this is heaven.”
“Do you think you’re going to heaven?”
He slumped back, sprawling loose limbed across the cushions.
“That hurt.”
She looked so edible, sitting there spooning nectar into her mouth.
Charlie wanted to kiss her.
He wondered how she’d taste.
At that precise moment, cold and sweet.
God, he
really
wanted to kiss her.
Instead, he inhaled his dessert and stared at what was left of Kate’s.
“Don’t you want that?”
She shook her head.
He slid from the couch to her side, licked his lips and opened his mouth like a little bird.
She spooned in the frozen cream.
His lips closed over the spoon and sucked so hard, she had to drag it free.
He kept his eyes on hers as he rolled the dessert around his mouth before swallowing.
“Did you make that for Richard?”
Alarm flared in her eyes like sparks from a match.
“You read the note,” she said.
She wasn’t his type at all, Charlie thought.
What did he want with a depressed, miserable woman?
He was depressed and miserable enough himself without taking on someone else’s problems.
But he was intrigued and he owed her because if it hadn’t have been for Kate, he wouldn’t have made it back to the beach.
“Let me guess,” Charlie said.
“This is over a guy, right?
You’re pregnant, but he doesn’t want it?” He hoped not.
“You found Richard fucking another woman?” He looked for a clue on Kate’s face.
“Maybe another man?
Or he’s given you the, ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech.
You still love him, but he doesn’t love you?
He’s married with kids and you just found out?
No, wait, I’ve got it.
He’s a werewolf.”
Charlie was sure he had something right in there.
Kate looked straight at him.
“He couldn’t cope with the fact that I’ve been diagnosed with a terminal illness.”
He gasped.
“Christ, Kate, oh fuck, I’m sorry.” When he caught her trying to stifle a smile, he growled.
“That wasn’t funny.”
“Yes, it was.”
“So is this illness called ‘the rest of your miserable life’?” He cocked his head on one side.
“I hadn’t thought of that, but you’re right.”
“What happened?” Charlie didn’t want her to joke.
“I was dumped.”
“Yeah, I know that story.”
“Who’d be crazy enough to dump you?”
“They’re standing in line.” Charlie thought of Ethan and let her misunderstand.
They sat in silence for a few moments before he spoke.
“Have you talked to anyone about it?”
“No.”
He reached for her hand, thrilled when she didn’t pull away.
“How about we talk to each other?
Maybe it will help.”
Kate liked him holding her hand but knew talking couldn’t help.
A parade of teachers, social workers and psychologists had assured her it could but she realized at a young age that not talking was far more effective.
“What do you think?” Charlie pressed.
Kate didn’t want to talk, but she wanted Charlie to keep holding her hand and if another sleepless night lay ahead, another last night, she could think of worse ways to spend it.
“Getting drunk might help, too.
You sure you don’t have any more alcohol?” he asked.
“No.”
“Cigarettes?”
She shook her head.
“Coke?”
Kate stared at him.
“Are you an addict?”
“No, I’m fucking not.” He pulled his hand away.
“I just enjoy smoking, drinking and doing a few lines of coke every now and again.”
“But you wish you were dead.”
He fell silent and Kate wondered if she’d gone too far, but his fingers slipped back and he wrapped his hand around hers.
Warmth trickled through her body.
“We should talk.
I need to talk, but I don’t want to go first,” he whispered.
“If I start, I’ll never stop.”
“I don’t mind.
I like your voice.”
“I’m not falling for that.
You go first.
Please.”
Kate sighed.
“Apart from the obvious, what do you want to know?”
Charlie chewed his lip and didn’t speak for a moment.
“What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you.”
She gave a short laugh.
“I need to work up to that.
You might faint.”
Charlie grinned.
“Intriguing.”
“Ask me something easy.”
“How long have you lived here?”
“Six months.”
He waited.
Kate loved her apartment and Greenwich, but she didn’t deserve to live in a decent, respectable area.
She couldn’t afford it on the money she made, but then she had no mortgage.
She’d bought the place outright.
Even so, she struggled to pay the bills on her salary.
The apartment had only been affordable because of money she considered tainted, money she’d refused twice but then accepted.
Kate thought if she had her own property, she’d be safe.
It wouldn’t change her attitude, but she hoped it could change her life.
“What’s your job?” Charlie tried again.
“Waitress.”
She didn’t say anything else and Charlie sighed.
“You’re supposed to be talking not thinking.
Tell me about your neighbor, Lucy, or your job or something.”
Kate knew plenty about her neighbors, but they didn’t know much about her.
After she’d moved into her apartment with a broken arm and a black eye, she’d let them think she was clumsy.
She had broken ribs too, but Kate never revealed what couldn’t be seen.
Rachel, Lucy and Dan talked about their lives because Kate maneuvered them into it, mainly so she didn’t have to talk about herself.
Charlie took hold of her chin and turned her face so she looked at him.
“Kate, talk to me.”
“Lucy’s gorgeous, flirty and irrepressible.
She fizzes with fun like a huge bath bomb.” Kate thought Charlie would love Lucy.
“What does she do?”
“Newsreader for Metro Radio.”
“Does she have a boyfriend?”
Kate thought about Nick.
Did a married bastard count as a boyfriend?
“Yes, her boss, but he’s married.”
Lucy had gone after Nick in the same way she’d gone after her job.
She’d shown him how much she wanted him and reeled him straight in.
No letting the line run, Lucy yanked him straight out of his wife’s arms.
Kate didn’t know how much longer their affair could stay a secret.
Lucy wasn’t good at keeping her mouth shut.
“Is Lucy a good friend?” Charlie asked.
Kate hesitated.
“She came round to see if you were okay after whatever happened yesterday,” he pointed out.
“I don’t have any close friends.”
“Why not?”
“Easier not to.”
He sighed.
“Who else lives here?”
“Dan’s next door.
He found me my job at Crispies.
It’s a café in Greenwich close to the market.
His sister’s a co-owner.
He works there himself sometimes if Mel is short staffed.”
“He sounds like a friend,” Charlie said.
“He’s a talented artist.
That’s what he does for a living.
He walked into an art gallery in Holland Park, saw Rachel and fell in love.
Rachel persuaded the gallery owner to take three of his paintings and then Dan found out the owner was Rachel’s father.
Except her dad doesn’t like painters, even if they make him money, only sculptors.
Dan discovered Rachel was buying an apartment here and put in an offer on another without even seeing it.
Lucy thought he was an idiot.” Kate breathed out.
“That was the most you’ve ever said to me and none of it was about you.”
He sat waiting and when Kate didn’t speak, he sighed.
“Okay, so what did
you
think about Dan buying the apartment?”
“That he must really love her.”
“So they’re a pair?” Charlie asked.
“No, Dan’s shy and Rachel’s oblivious.
He made me and Lucy swear not to say anything or even hint to Rachel that he fancied her, because he wants to tell her himself.
Only I have a feeling they’ll be collecting their pensions before that happens.”
Charlie rubbed his thumb against Kate’s palm.
“You believe in seizing the moment?”
She knew what he was asking and stayed silent.
“Tell me about Rachel,” Charlie said in a resigned voice.
“Rachel’s the only child of rich, posh parents who sent her to finishing school in Switzerland where she was polished to a high sheen.
She’s never anything less than immaculately dressed and made-up.
She speaks like the Queen, and knows how to cook and eat artichokes.
Plus she can fold napkins into a million different shapes.”
“See, having a conversation is not that difficult,” Charlie said.
“Now tell me what happened the last time you saw this Richard guy.”
And memories flooded Kate’s brain, swamping every other thought, stopping the breath in her throat like a cork.
Richard kissed her on Wednesday night, said the next time he saw her, she’d be in her wedding dress.
Kate felt as though she was melting, everything falling away to nothing.
“What happened?” Charlie asked again.
And in a low, flat voice, she told him.
“We fucked on that couch, then in bed and he told me he loved me.”
Kate tried to pull her hand free of Charlie’s, but he didn’t let her go.
“And?” he asked.
Tell him. Just tell him. What does it matter? He doesn’t know me. If he thinks I’m a fool, so what? Tell him.
It was like poison inside her.
Hard to spit it out.
“Richard left at eleven on Wednesday night.
That was the last time I saw him.”
There was a long pause before Charlie spoke.
“And?”
“He said he’d see me in twelve hours at Woolwich registry office.”
“Oh shit.” Charlie groaned.
Kate wondered why it still hurt now she knew what Richard had done, that he hadn’t jilted her because he didn’t love her, but because it was a game, a bet.
“Richard wanted it to be private, just the two of us.
He booked everything—limo, photographer, flowers, honeymoon.” She paused.
“Well, he told me he’d booked everything.
All I had to do was turn up in a…” Beautiful dress, but she couldn’t say it.
The words stuck in her throat like an oversized gobstopper, too big to even suck.
The biting pain of humiliation flared up inside her and the ache in her heart gained strength.
It surprised Kate that she wanted to keep talking.
“I made my dress.
That was my surprise for him.
The limo turned up, but when I got to the registry office, Richard wasn’t there.
No flowers waiting either and I still didn’t get it.
They said he hadn’t made a booking.
I’d left my phone at home and had to ask someone for money to call him.
Richard didn’t answer.
So I sat waiting while brides turned up in their lovely dresses, family and friends all smiling and happy.
I waited thinking there had been a mistake but he’d come.”
Charlie sat motionless, clinging onto her hand.
“Then I thought he must have had an accident.
He was dead.
The only thing that would stop him being there was if he were dead.
Some freak accident had wrecked my life.” Kate couldn’t stop the words pouring out now.
“
He
was the freak accident.
He’d asked me to marry him.
He said he wanted to be with me forever, to take care of me forever and I’d believed him.” Her head dropped.
“I shouldn’t have believed him.”
Kate took a shaky breath.
“Just before the office closed, a woman came to tell me they’d managed to get in touch with Richard.
He said he didn’t know why I was there.
I gave in then.
Stopped hoping.
Of course, there was no limo outside.
I didn’t even have my purse with my travel card.
Just my key in my shoe.
I asked someone for my bus fare.
And all I could think was what had
I
done wrong?
What had
I
done that made him not want me anymore?”