Storm (12 page)

I tug on his tail, and he play-attacks my hand. Then he jumps to his feet, hisses, and races off. I dive into the straw.

Footsteps.

My ears are attuned to the noises of this deck—vigilance has made my hearing acute. But Screamer still heard the footsteps before I did. That fact sets me ajangle.

It’s that woman who talks a lot, Ham’s wife. She comes down the ladder and walks immediately to our cage. “Wake up.” She raps her knuckles on a pole. “Hello, bonobos. Hello, hello, wake up.”

I’m sure Queen and The Male are awake. I can tell from the slight change in their mouths. Their lips moved almost imperceptibly. They’re pretending to sleep. Ha! I didn’t know they could pretend. Another new amazement.

“All right, then, I’ll lure you.” Ham’s wife reaches inside her cloak and brings out something round.

I can smell it from here: bread! I salivate. The memory of bread is like a dream. I can hardly pay attention to anything else.

“Hey, bonobo. Smell this. Come on.” She waves the bread in Queen’s direction.

The smell makes me woozy. My stomach threatens to purge. I fight it. I can’t be discovered. No. Slowly the burn in my throat goes back down my chest.

“It wasn’t easy for me to hide it and save it for you. Act grateful. Hey!” She rips the bread in half. “This is my little seduction. You know all about seduction. Hey!” She lobs in a piece of the bread.

It hits Queen in the chest. Queen stirs. She opens her eyes halfway.

“I see you looking at me. Come over here. Come on.”

Queen moves out from under The Male’s arm. Her eyes are wide open now. She picks up the piece of bread, takes a bite—a big, delicious, wonderful bite—and tosses it aside.
Good girl. Leave it there. For me. Later. Oh, please.
Queen stares at the woman.

“Wake up your partner. Hurry.”

Queen juts her chin toward the woman and walks on all fours to the front of our cage.

The woman takes a huge step backward, out of Queen’s reach. “Calm down. I just want your help. Your secret. Wake your partner. Show me.”

But no one has to wake The Male. He’s been watching. He walks over on all fours too. Then he stands and pokes his erect penis between the poles. He shakes it at the woman.

Her hands clutch the edges of her cloak. She blinks several times. “I’m Nela. Or that’s what my mother called me.” She speaks without taking her eyes from The Male’s privates. So it’s as though she’s talking to them. I feel embarrassed for her. “And I will call you Bonobo Man and Bonobo Woman. That doesn’t seem a sacrilege. Does it?” She touches her cheek and looks confused for a moment. “The Mighty Creator gave humans dominion over animals. All right, all right, I’ll call you Big Bonobo and you Little Bonobo. No one could object to that. Certainly not you. You don’t even understand my words. But I’m counting on you understanding the tone of my voice.” Her eyes travel upward to The Male’s now. Then she looks in Queen’s eyes. “I can see how smart you are. Listen to my voice. Please listen. Let it make a bond between us.” She leans her head forward tentatively. “If you help me, I will bring you bread. No, no, you don’t like the bread.” Her fingers tap on her cheek now. “So I’ll bring you other things. Human food. Cooked food. It’s different. You’ll like it.”

The Male is still shaking away.

Queen leans against him from the side and obliges him with a hand. She grins. It’s all very companionable. To Queen and The Male, this is ordinary. But to Nela this is clearly extraordinary. Her mouth hangs open.

“Yes.” She leans forward. Her words have dropped to a whisper. “But we have been on this ark, locked up with these same people, for forty-four days—seven days of dry, then thirty-seven of nothing but rain.” Her voice shakes. “So that—what you did—that’s not enough! That doesn’t give what we need—it doesn’t give togetherness. My husband, my Ham, he’s changing. He sees his brother Japheth basking in his father’s love. He sees his brother Shem basking in his mother’s love. He’s growing angry. Mean. He needs me—he needs me joined to him so that he can feel loved again. And, oh, I need to feel loved too. Forty-four days.” She takes a step toward our cage. “So show me. How? How do you keep from becoming with child?” She suddenly gasps and shakes her head. “I don’t even know why I’m asking, really. The only time we’re together is at the evening meal. We sleep separately—the women at one end, the men at the other. Even the comfort of lying together is denied us. We’d have to crawl off somewhere and hide if we wanted to be together as man and wife. Crawl off—like sneaks.” Her voice breaks. She’s crying silently.

My arms want to hug her.

Queen sprawls on her side now. The Male sprawls behind her and throws a leg over her thighs from behind. He reaches around her body and grabs one of Queen’s hands and brings it to his mouth. He kisses her hand. Kisses and kisses. Tenderly. I miss Aban in this moment so much, my throat constricts. But Queen and The Male aren’t preparing to mate—no; his kisses
are almost distracted, for both of them keep their eyes on Nela. Her grief blankets us.

Nela takes a huge gulp of breath. “But we’ll sneak—we’ll lower ourselves to that—because love is essential. Please. You don’t know my language. But you know things. And somehow I’m going to learn this one thing from you without language.” She opens her cloak and lets it slide off her shoulders to the deck. The other half of the bread drops and lands somewhere in the shadows. Nela pulls her shift over her head and throws it to one side. She’s naked, though only her silhouette shows. “See? Under my clothes I’m like you. Or not that different. Show me how you do it. Let me learn. Let me learn, or by the time this ark reaches whatever destination the Mighty Creator plans for us, Ham will be so wretched, he won’t remember love. Our marriage will be ruined.” Her hand goes to her throat now. “And I do love him. I want to keep loving him.”

Queen sits up. She seems to study Nela’s body. Then she turns her head toward where I’m hiding in the straw. Her head goes back and forth between my hiding spot and Nela. She’s comparing us. She’s never seen the humans without clothes before. Maybe she’s realizing for the first time that I’m like them, like the ones who imprison us.

Queen falls backward off her haunches and slowly walks toward me.

Please, Queen, please don’t be confused. You know me. We’re friends. Don’t reveal me to them. Please.

“Ne’elatama’uk? Is that you down there?”

Nela grabs at her cloak and wraps it around herself quickly.

Queen stops and turns toward the voice. The Male mounts her.

Another woman comes partway down the ladder. It’s Shem’s mother. “Answer me. Is that you, Ne’elatama’uk?” Her voice is stern now. “Don’t play games. You’re scaring me.”

“I’m sorry, Mother Emzara.”

Mother Emzara comes all the way down the ladder and stands at the bottom. “What are you doing down here?”

“Watching the animals.”

“These animals? Most of these animals are unclean. What’s to watch?” She comes closer. “Are those two . . . ? They’re mating!”

Nela pulls her cloak tight around herself. “They do it a lot.”

“But Noah said the animals wouldn’t mate in captivity. It isn’t natural for them.”

Nela makes a loud sniff. “It’s natural for these animals. Just these two. You don’t have to worry, though; it doesn’t produce babies.”

Mother Emzara purses her lips. “How could that be?”

Nela shrugs.

“The world has turned nonsensical enough on its own. Don’t you add to it. Come, daughter-in-law. Come back and sleep.”

“Soon.”

“Have you been arguing with Ham?”

Nela gives a slow head shake.

“Don’t think I don’t see what’s going on. But there’s no point in arguing. And it’s foolish to waste energy on things that have no point.”

“We haven’t been arguing.” Nela shakes her head vehemently now. “I just need to watch the animals. You know how I am about animals.”

“Yes. I know.” Mother Emzara tugs on the tips of that twist of hair. Then she shrugs. “Well, then, we’ll find a way for you to watch them in daytime. You can barely see anything now.”

“It’s hardly lighter in the day,” says Nela.

“That will change.”

“What do you mean?”

“The rains can’t last forever. Sun will come out and shine through.”

“Sun through the windows and portholes.” Nela makes a
humph
. “It’s hard to imagine.”

“Don’t act like that.” Mother Emzara rubs the back of her neck. “We’re all weary of the rain. But don’t act like an ingrate. We are saved. All other life on earth is gone. But we are saved. Give praise for being chosen.”

“I do.”

“Then come.”

Nela goes up the ladder with Mother Emzara right behind her.

The instant they are out of sight, I practically leap to the
front of the cage. I work the rocks away and go out the swinging door, feeling around in the dark. There it is, the other half of the bread! I press it to my nose. Lovely aroma. I take a bite and chew slowly. It tastes like home. It tastes like everything I’ve lost. I gobble the rest of it, all but one small bit. I place that bit on my tongue and squish it flat against the roof of my mouth. I let it dissolve there.

Then I remember the other part of the bread—the part Queen tossed away. I’ll go back to our cage and find it and eat it. But first I feel around some more. Here’s Nela’s shift. I pick it up and stand and slip it on.

It feels as though I am still the girl I once was. The girl with a family and a home and daily work chores and hopes of some kind of future. It is so ordinary, so deceptive, I could scream.

But I don’t. There’s no point. There’s no point in anything. I turn around to go back into the cage.

And stumble over Queen. Queen, out here, in the center of the deck!

C
ome on, Queen, let’s go back in the cage.” I use a soft voice. Mellow. How could I have been so stupid as to let the bread distract me? She’s a wild animal. I chew on my knuckles. Then I let that hand float through the air toward her. What will she do if I take her by the hand? If I try to lead her back? “Come. Come, my friend.”

Queen squats there, looking me up and down. She pulls on the hem of the shift I’m wearing—Nela’s shift. “I’m still me, Queen. I put this on just to feel human. But I’m me.”

Queen gets on all fours and shoulders me aside. She walks along the corridor.

I walk beside her. “Please, Queen. Come with me. Come back. It’s not safe out here.” But my words seem false—or perhaps idiotic. Is it safe anywhere?

Clack!

I jump around. Of course! The Male has come out now too! I am an idiot. Of course, of course, he would follow her. I am so tense, my ears ring.

Queen and The Male walk the deck slowly. They stop in front of cages and peer into the dark. Each time they settle on their haunches, I expect something terrible to happen. But they simply sit there, attentive. Gradually, my body loosens. Maybe this is all they want—just a chance to know what’s around them. Maybe they’re trying to make sense of the absurdity of being locked up. They press shoulder to shoulder as they stare into the cages.

I don’t know how much they can see. I can hardly see anything. It’s an unusually dark night; I don’t even see the eyes of those animals whose eyes typically shine. I feel like I’m walking into nothingness, like the very next step could drop me into an abyss so deep I could never climb out.

And it’s so quiet. Night is always quiet. But not like this. I can’t even hear the sounds of pacing.
Come on, night creatures, move. Explore. Come on!
But nothing. It’s as though the animals have given up. And why not? What is there to explore? Like Nela said—it’s too long. My arms turn to gooseflesh. I rub them hard. This is an ark of despair.

We make progress step by step all the way to the forward end of the ark. Queen now heads back, lumbering slowly, swinging her head slowly. Maybe she’s hoping to pick up a sound too.

The Male follows her. They walk on their short legs and stop in front of the cages on the other side now. They look around without making even the weakest whistle. When Ham and Shem deliver food, they generally put it at the front edge of the cages. In most of the cages we pass, the food is all gone. But in some it’s just sitting there. Uneaten. Some animals must have stopped finding pleasure even in food. Queen and The Male still love to eat, though. They whistle and whoop when food comes. But now, in front of these cages, The Male never reaches in to steal the food. He has to know it’s there; the odor hangs in the air. But he does nothing. He’s relatively large. And I’ve seen him move fast. And I know he’s strong, because I’ve felt how easily he can haul my weight up through the side hole—the porthole, as Nela says. So if he wanted to steal the food, there’s no doubt he could. But he doesn’t even try.

Why, The Male is actually shy, I realize. He’d never steal. And now I understand. When Queen seemed to greet Nela, The Male did it too, in his own odd way. He does what she does. He’s out here on this deck now because Queen is. That’s all. It’s a matter of loyalty. He won’t leave her to face things alone.

My throat tightens, and for a moment I can’t breathe. I know I couldn’t have stayed on that raft with Aban. He made me promise to live. I’d have died if I stayed with him, and so I would have broken my promise. I had to lunge into the sea after the rope. I had to. Still, a part of me feels I was disloyal.

And now I also feel foolish. What was the point of leaving
Aban to die alone, when I will wind up dying on this ark anyway? I have no idea why I am here, why I breathe and eat and walk. I am mindless.

We come to the lion cage. The serpent strips still hang from near the top of the lattice. Our own cage is just opposite, across the deck. I could go back now. I could dive into the straw. If anyone should come down the ladder, they’d catch Queen and The Male, not me. I could save myself.

But I don’t. If they get caught, I will too. Whatever happens to them, it will happen to me, too. In fact, what happens to me will be worse, because I’m a stowaway.

I laugh. Loudly. How silly can I be? Here I am, being loyal to Queen and The Male, when they couldn’t possibly care. Yet I’m proud of myself. I couldn’t do it for Aban, but I can do it for Queen and The Male. I can’t stop laughing.