Star Struck (12 page)

“Thanks, Lola.”

“Now let’s get back to our dates.” She guides me forward.

Ryker looks at me with concern when I sit down. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, fine,” I lie.

“Who knew there could be so much excitement in a coffee shop, huh?” Lola laughs in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“Right?” I join in. “I’m just glad I got my song in before all the chaos.”

“And you were amazing.” Forrest says, dropping his hand on my thigh.

I fight the urge to shake his hand off. He’s a nice, good looking guy. I should want him to touch me. Only I know that I don’t. The only guy I want is Beckett. But he obviously doesn’t want me, so I need to move on.

“Thanks,” I say. Deciding to play along, I place my hand over his.

Lola gives me an encouraging smile from across the table, and I know I’ve appeased everyone. We make small talk for a little while, and then I work up the courage to ask the question that has been nagging at me ever since my conversation outside with Beckett.

“Hey, Ryker, so what’s the story with Dante and Beckett?”

His face pales. “Uh, they just have a lot of history, I guess.”

Okay, so I’ll have to try another tactic.
“What about? Like did they both go after the same girl or something?”

Ryker laughs at this. “Beckett would never fight someone over a girl. In fact, in all the time we’ve been friends
, Beckett has never been serious about any girl.”

I wonder why Ryker is lying to me. Beckett said that Dante stole the only girl he ever cared about. Since Ryker and Beckett have been friends for so long, surely Ryker knows what happened. Why all the secrecy?

“Really?” I counter. “I thought Beckett had a lot of girlfriends.”

“Nah, not girlfriends. He hooks up with a lot of girls. A new one every night
, in fact.”

This turns my stomach. “And he never gets attached to any of them?”

“No, he’s not exactly picky with who he’ll bring home. If the chick has two legs and is breathing, she’s game.”

I think about how Beckett always pushes me away.
I guess I’m the one girl he’s picky about.

16

Beckett

I can tell I’ve pissed Star off. She hardly even acknowledges me at practice. Not that I blame her. I’m sure she didn’t appreciate me starting a fight in the middle of her date with the tree guy. It seems like maybe it’s more than that though. I can’t help but think that when she followed me outside at the coffee shop she was hoping I would admit to something. When she first asked if the fight was about her, I assumed it would reassure her to know that it wasn’t. Only she appeared to be upset by it.

Once everyone packs up their stuff and starts heading out, I stop Star. I hate when she’s mad at me, and I don’t want to leave things like this.

“Hey,” I approach her. “Do you mind staying for a few minutes? I liked that song you played at open mic night. I was hoping that you and I could run through it and I could get down the chords.”

“Yeah, I guess.” She shrugs, looking bored.

“Try to look a little less disappointed about spending time with me,” I joke. “You’re gonna give me a complex.”

She cracks a slight smile. Then she jumps as if startled and glances down at the pocket of her jeans. “Oh, sorry. Hold on a minute.” Reaching her fingers down, she yanks out her cell. After peering down at it, she presses a button and holds it to her ear. “Hey, Leo, what’s up?” She turns away from me.

As I observe her talking animatedly with Leo, I wonder who he is. After a few minutes she hangs up and turns to me with an apologetic look. “Sorry about that.”

“S’okay.” I grin. “Leo, huh? Does this mean it’s over between you and nature boy?”

She cocks her head to the side and gives me an annoyed look. “His name is Forrest, not nature boy. And Leo is my brother.”

“I thought your brother was named Galileo. Isn’t that what you said when we first met?”

“Well
, wouldn’t you go by Leo if your name was Galileo?”

“Good point.”

“Anyway, I haven’t talked to Leo in awhile, so that’s why I answered.”

“Does he live in this area?”

“No, he’s still in California with my parents.”

“You left sunny California for rainy Seattle. Why?” I raise an eyebrow.

“Look at you being all inquisitive,” she points out. “Maybe my lesson did do you some good.”

I chuckle.

“Actually I came to Seattle because that’s where Lola wanted to go to school.”

“Do you do everything Lola does?”

This seems to rattle her, and she fidgets with the bottom of her sleeve. “I don’t know. I guess not. We’ve just been inseparable since freshman year. She’s the closest friend I have.”

“I guess guys are different than chicks.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just that Ryker’s my closest friend, but I wouldn’t move somewhere just because he was going there.”

“It’s complicated with Lola and me, I guess.” She shrugs, lowering her gaze, and I can tell she doesn’t want to elaborate on this.

I clear my throat. “So, what do you say we start working on that song?”

“Sounds good.” Star smiles, seemingly relieved that I didn’t press her about her complicated relationship with Lola. As I pick up my guitar, Star makes her way to the keyboard. I grab a piece of paper and a pencil to jot down the chords. Star begins to play, and the musical sound fills the garage. The dark melody swims over me, and it’s like I can feel Star’s pain and anger that she must have felt when she wrote the song.  Glancing up at her, I find myself mesmerized by the intense look on her face. I know I should be playing along with her, but I can’t tear my eyes away from her. She sings through the chorus and then looks up at me with a questioning look.

“Aren’t you going to pl
ay?” She asks, a teasing lilt in her voice. Her cheeks are pink, and she bites her lip in a way that drives me wild.

“I was too busy watching you.” My flirty side takes over and I walk toward her, clutching the guitar to my chest. I bend over her keyboard, inhaling her fresh scent.
“You’re just so damn sexy when you play.”

Her eyes widen, and I worry that I’ve gone too far. But then her lips curl into a smile and she leans toward me. “Really? I didn’t know you felt that way.”

“Believe me, Star. Every guy who watches you play feels that way.”

Her hand reaches up tentatively and rests on my arm. The attraction is evident in her eyes, and I immediately regret my actions. It’s so instinctual in me to flirt, and sometimes it’s hard to keep my boundaries intact when it comes to Star. But I can’t afford to start anything up with her.
I push myself off of her keyboard and walk away.

Star gets up and follows me, her heels tapping. “Why do you do that, Beckett?”

I turn to face her. She looks so pure and open that I can hardly stand it.

“Is it just a game with you or something?” She throws her arms up in frustration.

“What are you talking about?”

“You do this to me all the time. You pull me in, and when you have me right where you want me, you push me away.” Her lips tremble slightly
, but she steadies them. “I can’t take it anymore.”

I shake my head, running a hand over my head. Is she saying what I think she’s saying? This is becoming too real. I have to put a stop to it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. It’s just
—” I clamp my mouth shut. I can’t say what I’m thinking. That I just can’t help myself when it comes to her. That I’m so damn attracted to her it kills me. That I’ve never had this problem with a girl before.

“It’s just what, Beckett? Say it.” Her words are harsher than I’ve heard from her before.

“I think you should go,” I say softly.

“No.” She c
rosses her arms over her chest. “Not until you say what you were about to say. I poured my heart out to you, it’s the least you can do.”

This stops me cold. “When did you pour your heart out to me?”

“Oh, please. Like you didn’t know that song was about you.”

My heart plummets. And even though I know I shouldn’t, I bridge the g
ap between us and thread her fingers through mine. “I didn’t know it was about me, Star. I swear.”

Her hands are soft to the touch
, and I relish the feeling of them. Star peers up at me through her thick lashes. “You can’t tell me that you don’t feel something when we’re together, Beckett.”

“Star.” I swallow hard and rest my forehead against hers.

“Why can’t you just admit it?”

“Because it won’t change anything,” I tell her honestly, pulling back and releasing my hold on her.

“What’s wrong with me?”

Her question catches me off guard. “Nothing’s wrong with you, Star.”

“Then take me back to your place,” she says, completely startling me.

If I thought her last statement was shocking
, this one blows me out of the water. “Excuse me?” I choke.

She moves toward me in a seductive way. Something about sweet innocent Star acting seductive practically sends me over the edge, and I take a deep breath to calm my racing heart. “Think of me as a member of your fan club.”

I step backward. “I can’t, Star.”

She freezes, her fac
e falling. “Ryker says you’ll hook up with any girl with two legs. I have two legs, Beckett. In fact, I’ve seen you ogling them at every show.”

Damn, the girl has spunk. “Star, those girls mean nothing to me.”

“And I do?”

“Yes,” I breathe out. “You do.”

“Then show me.”

“Oh, God, Star, you don’t know how badly I want to.”

“Then what’s stopping you?”

“It’s complicated
. I can’t really get into it with you right now.” I run a fingertip over her chin. “But trust me, it’s not because I don’t want to.”

She swats my hand away. “That’s bull, Beckett. If you wanted me you wouldn’t keep turning me down.” Stalking away, she scoops up her purse and sheet music and races out of the garage.

“Star!” I call after her, feeling like the biggest jerk on the planet.

She keeps running toward her car, her dark hair flying behind her like a kite.

I have no idea what just happened, but I’m pretty certain I really screwed things up big time.

17

Star

Bitter tears sting my eyes as I race back to my dorm room. I know Lola is expecting me to meet up with her and Ryker
, but the only place I want to be is curled under the covers in my bed. I made such a fool of myself. What was I thinking? I’ve never thrown myself at a guy before. Hell, I’ve never even slept with a guy before. Something about Beckett brings out this other side of me. And it’s not a good thing.

As I open the door to my room, shame washes over me remembering how Beckett completely turned me down. Ugh. I slam the door shut and then fling myself on my bed with my purse still strung over my shoulder. Rolling over, I groan into my pillow. The soft fabric cools my red face. I think about how I want to stay here forever. Beckett’s face fills my mind, and I will the thoughts away. Man, if only there was a button in my brain where I could turn off all thoughts about him. But there isn’t
, and as hard as I try not to I keep reliving the night over and over in my mind.

My cell vibrates in my purse. I contemplate not picking up, but I know its Lola. She’s been texting nonstop since I left rehearsal. If I don’t answer soon she’ll sound out a search party. Swirling my fingers inside my purse, I locate my phone and pull it out.

“Hello,” I say, as I press it to my ear.

“Where are you?” Lola says. She’s practically shouting over the loud noise in the background.

“In bed.”

“What? I thought you were coming out with me tonight?”

“I don’t want to.”

“Uh-oh. Beckett strikes again, huh?” Lola sighs. “I knew this was going to happen the minute Ryker said that you stayed late with him. What happened now?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Come over to Ryker’s apartment. He’s having a party. It’ll get your mind off of things,” Lola offers in a chipper voice.

“No thanks. I just want to go to sleep.”

“C’mon, Star. It’ll be our first college party. You can’t keep letting Beckett ruin all the fun for you,” Lola tries to persuade me. “Remember when we first got here and we were so excited about all the fun stuff we were going to do?”

“Yeah,” I reluctantly agree, prying myself from my pillow.

“Don’t let him stop you from doing that.”

She’s right. Besides, if I sit at home moping all night then Beckett wins. Isn’t that what I spent months doing after Spencer dumped me? It’s time to grow up.  I’m in college now. There are plenty of guys other than Beckett. “Okay. I’ll be there in a few.”