Spice Box (23 page)

Then out of the annals of her childhood Sunday school days, Martha murmured, “It is more blessed to give than to receive,” and again, joyously, triumphantly, “Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.”

“And,” she murmured to herself as the elevator stopped at her floor and let her out, “it looks as if that is just what has happened, having this offer of double salary and short hours, having all these sweet friendships. I never gave anything before in my life, not even a smile, and I never got anything. But just as soon as I began to give, things came my way.”

And then she marveled at the way the Adversary had fled at the first sound of the “sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

They went to the tearoom for lunch and had such a beautiful time together.

“Did you get a job?” asked Janice anxiously.

“Yes, little girl, beautiful work and a good salary. And the best of it is, we can be together. That is, I think that’s the best of it. Janice, they want
me
to come back to the store and bring you for my assistant! And they’re going to give me double what I used to get and shorter hours. Janice, I think I’ll say yes! You see, the girl who took my place is going to be married!”

“Oh, but that sounds too good to be true,” said Janice, with a radiant face. “Listen, Martha! Now I’m
sure
God cares and looks out for His own. Martha, are you sure you’re not kidding? Are you sure we are not dreaming?”

“No, little girl, not dreaming. I’m to take you back to the office at three o’clock and introduce you, and we’ll tell him then that we’ll come, if you think you want to do this.”

“
Want
to!” said Janice. “How could I ever not want to, dear friend? Such a grand, beautiful thing to happen to me!”

So Janice met the manager, who seemed pleased with her, and Martha told him they would come.

The end of it all was that the bugles were blowing for the half-past-five closing time when they got up to leave the office, and they went home to get supper in the little crowded kitchen. Not a large supper, but good. A little tender broiled steak, fried potatoes, lettuce, and a dish of cut-up peaches with cream. It didn’t take long to prepare. And Ronald dropped in when they were half through and shared the peaches and cookies. So Ronald had to hear the story.

“That’s swell!” he said. “Why, you can make money! You could buy a Ford, couldn’t you? And ride down to business the way men do, you and Janice, and not have to sit around those old trolleys and busses.”

“Why of course,” said Martha. “That’s an idea! I’ll do it. And we’ll have a piano, too. I never played a note in my life, but I’m sure you can play, Janice, can’t you?”

“Why yes, I can play. That is, I’m not wonderful or anything like that, but I can play.”

“I thought so,” said Martha excitedly. “And we’ll have some real music in our new house. Ronald, you aren’t old enough to drive a car yet, but when you are we’ll have some grand rides together.”

“No, I ain’t old enough to get a license yet,” said the boy glumly, “but I can
teach you now.
I
know
how of course!”

The doctor came in and heard the news and rejoiced with them almost sadly.

“Well, I’m glad you’ve got your jobs if that’s what you wanted, but I don’t want you to let that girl work too hard at first. You know she was rather down and out not so long ago.”

“I know,” said Martha suddenly grave, “but she’ll be working with me, and I can send her home when I think she is tired. I’ll be very careful of her. And we want you to be careful yourself, too, Doctor, and get well quickly and come back to us.”

“Well, I’ll try.” He smiled sadly. “That’s some incentive.”

“And, oh, Doctor, we’re thinking of having a housewarming party soon, when the place is in order again, and we hope you can come. You must not go away before that.”

The doctor looked gravely at her.

“I’ll be delighted if I can come, but it will have to be soon, for I may be called away within a few weeks now. But thank you just the same!”

That night Janice lay awake a long time. It was sad to think Dr. Blackwell had to leave, sad to think there was pain and suffering and peril ahead of him. But there was something sadder back in her heart that she did not dare take out and look at, nor think about anymore. It seemed to make life almost unbearable when she did. Yes, even since other people had been so very kind and loving to her, the thought of Dr. Sterling and all he had meant to her when she was so alone in that hospital seemed to touch a sore nerve that ached for hours afterward.

But tonight she deliberately went over the memory of her life after she woke up in that hospital bed and let her memory bring its pictures one by one, hoping that now the sweet pain would have worn away and she could look life in the face again and not carry a torment into the new environment that she was soon to enter.

But it was still there, the memory of the way Sterling had looked at her sometimes, the memory of his gentle voice, the touch of his hand on her arm. And he all the time engaged to that beautiful rich girl! And yet she could not resent his kindness to her. She could not somehow believe the other girl was really in his heart at all. Of course though, she felt herself very young and inexperienced. She wasn’t a judge of men. Oh, why did life have to be this way? Why should one doctor mean so much more to her than another? Why was there a hungry ache when she thought of Dr. Sterling, and nothing when she thought of the kindly, somewhat sad face of Dr. Blackwell? Well, those questions she could not answer. But the final result of her self-examination was that the only thing that was likely to cure her tendency to keep Dr. Sterling’s memory fresh in her heart would be to write to him sometime and explain why she had run away from the hospital without leaving him any word. Surely a long enough time had now elapsed since her flight from Enderby to make him understand that she was not trying to crawl back there again. Not seeking any benefit from him.

She had a job now and would probably be making money enough so that she could even offer to repay some of the kindness that she had been shown at the institution. Also, she would be of age in a few weeks. And she wasn’t really afraid of Herbert Stuart anymore. God had shown her that He was protecting her. Moreover, she had a legitimate home with a woman who really seemed to love her and want her. There was no real reason why she might not write and tell him how sorry she was to have felt she must go silently without explanation. Well—perhaps—after she got settled in her new job, she would think it over and then write. She was certain it would take some of the ache out of her heart to do so.

She turned over, settled her head on her pillow, and found that her meditation had definitely eased the heavy burden she had been carrying. Then her heart broke forth into thanksgiving to the God who had provided her a place where she might work and earn. She should not let any sorrow burden her when so much had been wrought in her life. And yet, she felt that if she could just once see Dr. Sterling and explain it all to him, and read forgiveness in his eyes, if she could once know that he did not blame her for running off in that way, say he understood why she did it, why, then her heart would be at rest. She did not love Dr. Sterling of course. She couldn’t, for he belonged to another girl, and she abhorred girls who fell in love with another woman’s man. But she did honor and respect him, and she did want him to understand.

That was the way the thoughts formed themselves in her mind as she dropped off to sleep. And then, far into the night, there came a vision. She seemed to see him bending over her bed, as he had bent so many times when she was ill, and looking down at her and smiling, saying, “It’s all right, little girl. I understand!”

And then she awoke in the morning, the sun was shining brightly, and she found great joy in her heart. A joy that perhaps she had no right to have. Yet, there it was, and it brought a glory into her face and her eyes that others could see. They did not know what made it. They thought it was her new job, and rejoiced with her, and she let them go on thinking that. She could not tell them how she had been hearing her doctor speak to her in her sleep and that she was very happy because she believed that he really understood.

M
artha Spicer went back to the store two days later and introduced Janice to the business world.

The night before, she spent some time on her knees, asking for help to live a different life and to show those about her a better way than they had known. Now that she had been learning many things and had come to see how wrong she had been, it seemed as if her heavenly Father had graciously given her another chance to go back to the place where her Christian witness had been worse than nothing and to relive those years of selfish unpleasantness in a different way. She wanted to live now to the glory of Him who died for her, and not to please herself. She realized that this was an opportunity that came to a very few, and she was thankfully accepting it and meant to do her best, but as she stood thus on the very threshold of the new-old life, her heart trembled and she felt a strange shyness begin. She knew old habits would bind her and draw her back to old ways. She understood that she could not do this thing in her own strength. It must be the strength of the Lord, not any force of her own. He must show her continually what to do, what to say, even how to feel.

There were the boys, especially. She knew she had been so disagreeable to them and had thought herself justified. And now that the Lord had sent Ronald to teach her how much worth there was in the soul of every boy, she knew she had much to atone for. Some of the boys at the store had known her well, and hated her. They would have much against her at the start. She would try to undo the dislike that she had fostered in them. She would have to win them. Perhaps she could bring some of them now and then to this new home she was planning. Get Ronald to put his strong shoulder to the job and help her to know them. But most of it she must do alone with God, and therefore she prayed.

Then there were the young girls who were under her, with whom she was so closely associated. They, too, hated her and had done all they could to make things hard for her. Yet, they were girls like Janice, some of them working hard and living in a little hall bedroom, keeping themselves straight in a world full of sin. She ought not to have blamed them for wanting to chew gum and paint their nails and giggle with the young salesmen, and try always to have just as good a time as possible. Of course they ought to have limited their amusements to time that was not paid by their employer, but then, they were just young girls, young things with hard, disappointing lives to lead, and she might have made their way easier many times and didn’t. She had been an old crab, as she knew they had called her. She was going back to try by the grace of God to be different now. She was going to try, through the sweet girl Janice, to let some sunshine into the lives of those other girls who needed sympathy and comfort and advice, and got only sharp words and faultfinding from a world that ought to have cared for them. Well, at least she was going back with her eyes open. Therefore, she trembled and prayed.

She had thought it over and almost decided to take some flowers with her that first morning and give a few to each girl in her department. But then it seemed better to her after all to go back quietly into her old place and let her life day by day show that she had a different spirit toward them. It would be harder perhaps, but it would be more genuine in their eyes, and maybe in her own.

So she went back that Monday morning as if she had not been away for nearly three months. Just took off her coat and hat and hung them up on the old hook, and sat down at her old desk to look over the mail orders and see what needed immediate attention for the day. Miss Janeway was to come in presently and hand things over formally, but the first few minutes were hers, quietly there, to gather the reins of the old rule in her hands and take over the power. And so, before the manager or Miss Janeway came, or Janice had finished fluffing up her hair by the little mirror in the inner dressing room, she bent her head on her hand and prayed again for strength and wisdom and guidance.

The manager entered a few moments later, greeted her and Janice, and almost immediately Miss Janeway came, did her part, and got away as soon as possible, with the light of the coming of freedom in her face. The same kind of look of relief that Martha knew there must have been in her own face over three months ago when she handed over her place to Miss Janeway and thought never to come back to it again. And now, how thankful she was that the opportunity was hers! She had to think back and remember the sunny living room with its bay windows and its landing stairs, the trim little garage that was even at that moment in the process of construction in the tiny backyard for the neat little Ford she was buying, before she could quite believe she wasn’t the old Martha Spicer who used to come so grumpily to her work. Only she was happy now, very happy.

And there was Janice, with her sweet face all bright with smiles of anticipation over the real work she was to begin that morning and the salary she was to earn.

And there was Ronald at school, getting ready to be a man, and meantime a continual joy to the woman he had taught to love him as if he had been her own.

Later she went out with Janice to the old department, and immediately her heart saddened, for she saw dark looks coming over the faces of the girls she approached, and she saw the cash boys slide away and duck under the counters. She knew they were whispering one to another, “Old Spice Box has come back!”

The old Martha Spicer would have gone directly to her work without even a nod more than necessary to anyone, giving orders as if she had never been away. The new Martha Spicer went from one saleswoman to another, speaking a word of greeting to each one and introducing Janice as “My assistant, Miss Whitmore.”