Authors: Jennifer Ryder
I tuck a fresh white towel under my arm from the top of the pile in the hallway cupboard, and hurry into the bathroom. I peel off my wet jeans, and throw my clothes in the wash basket as the water heats up. I loosely tie my hair in a bun, and shower as quick as I can, giving my feet extra attention. I turn off the water and wrap the towel around me, securing it under my arms. I glance at my reflection as I brush my teeth.
Not too shabby for this hour of the morning.
I take out my contact lenses—the relief is instant.
“Shit,” I curse as I realise that, in my haste to get into the bathroom, I forgot to bring a change of clothes. I blame Aidan. After he touched my hand, I was flustered, and couldn’t escape the lounge room quick enough. Looks like I’ll have to dash to my bedroom.
I look down at the towel, barely long enough to cover my arse. Why didn’t fate put one of the larger towels on top of the pile? It might as well be a bloody face-washer. Oh well, nothing I can do about it now. I just wish my bedroom was closer.
I swing open the door and rush into the hallway, my whole body slamming up against a bare-chested Aidan. I jerk back as water splashes all over us. The plastic cup he was holding tumbles to the floor.
“Fuck, Eevie … sorry.” Aidan’s strong hands grip my shoulders, keeping me from losing my balance.
Holy crap.
He’s
bare-chested and wet.
The powerfully spiced scent of his cologne fills my nostrils, a fire now roaring in my blood. I swallow the lump in my throat.
“Sorry, my fault,” I say, and instinctively run my hand over his smooth chest to wipe off the drops of water. He shudders at my touch, as if I’ve just given him an electric shock. His chest rises and falls like he’s trying to catch his breath. His reaction sends fire to my cheeks—if they weren’t scarlet red before, they
definitely
are now. I can feel the fire somewhere else as well.
Dear God.
“I was just getting some more water. I didn’t think you’d be so quick,” he says, slowly running his hands from my shoulders down to my elbows before he lets go.
I laugh, not knowing what else to do. In a fit of giggles, I can’t stop. And then I snort.
Perfect.
He laughs briefly, before giving me a brilliant smile. My heart misses a critical beat, and then picks up the pace. That smile is dangerous.
“Thank God I didn’t drop the towel. I would have literally died from embarrassment,” I say, shaking my head.
We stand in close proximity in the narrow hallway, barely clothed and dripping wet. Aidan’s tongue darts out, wetting his bottom lip, and my eyes are unable to move from his luscious, now-wet lips.
Fuck.
I step backwards in the direction of my bedroom, trying to make my getaway.
Aidan raises an eyebrow, and leans up against the doorway to the bathroom. “Yeah, that would have been somethin’ else,” he says in a gravelly voice.
My eyes skim over his firm, muscular torso
.
Gulp.
Ryan Gosling, eat your heart out.
“There are spare towels in the cupboard if you want to dry off. I … I need to get dressed.”
“No worries. I’ll sort it.”
“Night, Aidan.”
“Yeah, night,” he says softly. I struggle to pull my gaze away from the longing in those dreamy eyes.
Fuck, that look is doing wicked things to me.
I revel in the moment briefly and then remember … yet again, that I have a boyfriend,
he
has a girlfriend, and I smile politely, and march into my room. I let out the loudest of sighs as my back thuds against the back of the door.
What the fuck just happened?
Did I run over a black cat? Did I royally fuck someone over in a past life? The tall, dark, handsome stranger in the very next room has upset the basic rhythm of my heart, and has me craving things I shouldn’t … not with him. This is cruel. So very cruel.
****
Hot, wet kisses move at a deliberately slow pace, along the soft skin of my inner thigh. He’s been teasing me with that sexy mouth for far too long. My entire body trembles as his hands squeeze and knead the flesh of my behind.
He pulls my hips closer to him, spreading my knees apart. The heat of his body settles between my legs, and I arch my back and moan as he slides the head of his swollen cock through my wet folds. He pushes himself deep inside me, and I cry out with the pure ecstasy of it.
“Enough slow,” Aidan says, his voice low and husky. “Wrap these gorgeous pins around me and hold on, baby, because I’m gonna fuck you hard and fast.”
The muscles in his biceps flex beneath my hands as I grip him tight. He rolls his hips, driving into me, the pressure between my legs a deep ache like nothing I’ve felt before. I’m in sweet, sexy heaven.
“I wanna feel you come,” he says, and then fills my mouth with his delicious tongue. His kisses are wild, and his stubble grazes my tender lips until I’m left breathless.
His hips rock faster. I take him deeper.
I’m falling.
My body screams with pleasure as sharp volts detonate from my core, shooting out to every cell.
“
Ohmygod
,” I scream, digging my nails into his back as I pull him closer.
I’m on fire.
“Fuck yeah,” he growls. “I knew you’d be incredible.” He drives into me, a final time.
****
My body jerks, and I wake with a fright. I’m almost blinded by the light pouring in through my window. I blink madly, looking around the room.
Oh my fucking God
. What just happened?
I sit up and take in a long, deep breath. My skin is covered in sweat, the sheets beneath me damp. My heart is pumping like there’s no tomorrow, and I look across the bed, confirming that yes, I’m alone.
Well, fuck.
I bury my head in my pillow as I come down from my high.
Aidan Stone is in my head. He’s in my dreams.
Sexy dreams
. As if I’d had any choice in the matter, with his sex appeal infiltrating every square inch of my apartment.
Too bad the only place we can be together involves me being comatose and probably snoring my head off with bad hair and equally bad breath.
And it’s a damn shame, because that dream was incredible.
CHAPTER SEVEN
A week later, when I return to the apartment after a run, Crystal almost bowls me over, flashing something in my face. It’s a handwritten note. I cast my eyes over it. It’s an invitation to Aidan’s birthday party.
“You know he dropped it around personally,” Crystal teases. On closer inspection, I discover the party is next weekend, when Jon and I are supposed to be down the coast. Jon hasn’t given me any details since he first mentioned it, but I haven’t pushed the point either. I really don’t want to go to the coast.
“Tell Aidan I said thanks, but I’ll be away that weekend.”
“Sure.” Crystal frowns.
I’m sure the party would be fun. It was nice chatting to Aidan last time we met.
No, it wasn’t nice. Not one bit. It was hot as all hell, and then some.
A vision of Aidan half-naked and wet flashes before my eyes.
Mmm
. It’s as if the image were permanently burned onto the back of my retinas. And then there’s my dream.
Most amazing dream ever.
Mr Blue Eyes himself played a starring role.
Fucking Oscar material.
It’s probably best I don’t go to Aidan’s party. I’m sure his girlfriend will be there, swooning all over her gorgeous piece of man-cake. Not that I should care. It just seems a bit strange to invite me. He barely knows me.
****
Almost a week goes by without any mention from Jon about going away.
Has he forgotten?
I haven’t told Crystal my plans are any different, otherwise she’d be begging me to go to Aidan’s party. But I can’t go. I know in my heart there’s something I need to do. I need to finish something I never should have started. My feelings for Jon haven’t changed—I can’t get my head out of the ‘friends’ space. It would be different if there were a real connection between us, but to me he’s still Jon, my best friend.
His eyes were filled with such vulnerability the night he told me about his issues. It would be selfish of me to continue half-heartedly. Delaying the inevitable will only hurt him more.
And then there’s Aidan. Wet-dream provoking Aidan. Gah! Even though he’s taken, he’s shown me exactly what’s been missing between Jon and I. I’ve beaten myself up over having that dream—not that it was a conscious decision—but that tells me more than if it was. I hope one day I can find even a little of what I felt that night with Aidan. I know it’s out there for me somewhere. I just need some clue as to where to look. As sad as it is, I know it’s not with Jon.
On Wednesday, Jon rings me and tells me he forgot about the coast, and hasn’t had any luck finding last-minute accommodation that didn’t cost a bomb. I tell him I’m happy just to have a quiet weekend, and that we’ll watch a DVD or something on Saturday night. I guess that’s when I’ll have to talk to him. I’m gonna have to suck it up and do it.
By the time Saturday comes around, I’m a bundle of frazzled nerves. It’s been all I can think about. How do you break up with your best friend? What will I say? How will he react? Can I convince him to still be friends? Dark circles drape beneath my eyes, and I look like shit. I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep since I made up my mind to break up with him. It’s slowly draining the life from me.
Late in the afternoon, I drop around to Jon’s. He’s not expecting me for another couple of hours, but I can’t wait any longer.
“Hey, you’re early. Come in.” He kisses me briefly on the lips, and we move into the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink?”
Do I ever!
Straight vodka, no wait, Ouzo, sounds pretty tempting right about now.
“No thanks. I’m okay.” I give him a trace of a smile. It’s all I can manage.
“What is it, Eevie?” His face drops. He knows me too well. It’s always been hard to hide my feelings from him. “Is it your mum?”
“No, she’s fine. Can we sit down?”
“Sure.”
We move into the lounge room and sit on the couch. He gives me enough space, taking my hands in his. “So, what’s up?”
“Jon … I …”
Breathe, Eevie
. I stare at my hands, entangled with his. I can’t even look him in the eye.
You need to do this, Eevie. Suck it up, and tell him.
“Hey, you can talk to me,” he says, supportive as always.
“I can’t do this any more. I can’t be your girlfriend.” He pulls his hands away as if he’s been burned. He turns his head and stares into space.
Say something Jon, please
. Seconds feel like minutes, and my heart pumps faster, anticipating his words.
He slowly turns to me, his face void of any emotion, eyes cold and dark. “Why did you start something if you weren’t sure?” he growls. The coolness in his voice rattles deep within my core, and tears pool in my eyes. I never wanted to hurt him.
Never, never, never.
“You didn’t give me much choice, Jon. You know how much I valued our friendship, and that I’d do
anything
to keep it. To keep you in my life.”
“I told you things I’ve never told anyone. Is it because of that?” he says, running a hand through his hair.
“No, it’s not that.” I shake my head.
God, this is much harder than I’d thought it would be
. I take a deep breath. “The way you look at me, it’s different than before. I know how you feel.” I wipe away my tears. “I’m sorry, Jon. I really tried. Things would be so much easier if I felt the same. I’m sorry … I just can’t love you like you want me to.”
His silence kills me more than any words he could say. I swallow the heavy lump in my throat. “I can’t be with you if my heart isn’t in it. It wouldn’t be fair to you, or to me. I don’t want to hurt you. I … don’t want you to hate me.” I lower my head, my fingers in knots in my lap.
“Too late for that,” he says, his words laced with ice. He might as well have stabbed me right through the heart.
“You
hate
me?” I whisper. He won’t answer me, but he doesn’t have to.
He
does
hate me.
“Can’t we still be friends?” I plead, my voice desperate.
He shakes his head from side to side.
“Please, Jon. Please don’t do this. We can’t throw away years of friendship just like that.”
“You should go,” he says, his voice deep, teeth clenched.
“So that’s it? It’s all over?” I shout. My face prickles with heat, and my body trembles.
He nods.
In a haze, I run to the front door. I swing it open, the door handle busting into the wall behind it.
“Some friend,” I mumble to myself as I choke back tears.
Not any more.
He never wants to see me again. I can’t believe this is happening. Of all the scenarios I played over in my head, this was my worst fear. Now it’s become my reality.
Fuck. My. Life.
Before I know it, I’m home—the drive a complete blur. The apartment is empty. Thank God Crystal is out. I’m in no mood for company. I retreat to the only place in the world that’s truly mine. Drenched in sadness, I bury myself under my doona and try to block out the world—a world where I no longer have my best friend.
****
I don’t know what time I finally dozed off, but it was the sleep from hell. My head pounds, and my stomach gurgles, reminding me I haven’t eaten since yesterday lunchtime.
I’m not gonna leave my room until I’m absolutely sure Crystal is out. If I look half as shitty as I feel right now, she’ll know something is up. As much as I love her happy disposition, the last thing I need ringing in my ears today is her chirpy voice.
I listen for any tell tale signs that she’s home. The washing machine is silent, and there’s no music or TV blaring. It’s after ten o’clock, so either she stayed at Rob’s last night, or she’s out.
I go to the toilet, and walk into the bathroom to splash my face with cold water. I dare not look in the mirror. I shuffle into the kitchen, and quickly pour a big bowl of Coco Pops, adding heaps of milk. I carry it back to my room, and return for a bottle of water, a big bag of potato chips, and a packet of Tim Tams. But there’s something else I need. Something that always helps.