Kevin didn’t know how to react, still stunned by Hugo’s sudden appearance. Hugo seemed to be calming himself, taking steady breaths. Kevin took in air to speak, to try to let Hugo know how he felt, but Hugo held out a hand—
Stop. Give me a minute.
Sitting down seemed like the best option, so Kevin tried to relax and just watched Hugo, willing him to feel at ease in the “tree house.” Kevin studied him while he waited. He wore a pair of leaf-green jeans that fit like they were made just for him. On top he wore a dark-brown T-shirt with a worn-looking green recycle symbol on the front, which was reflected in the window. The shirt was tucked in and fit snugly over his strong biceps and shoulders, and Kevin sat there studying Hugo’s brown belt, counting the metal grommets scattered at intervals on the leather in some sort of pattern he was trying to put together.
Hugo finally turned around, and Kevin saw how hard this was for him. It seemed he had been fighting back tears because his eyes were red, but Hugo was freshly scrubbed and looked beautiful, even if he had nearly been crying.
When Hugo joined him on the couch, Kevin was surprised but pleased. He wanted to reach out to comfort him but gave Hugo the chance to do this how he saw best. Hugo revealed a simple black book he’d had in his hand the whole time and opened it to the first page. It was a stunning black-and-white photograph of Cherrie, and if he hadn’t known it was Hugo, he would have thought it was a model—a female model.
“This is me,” Hugo said in a much quieter voice than he’d entered the house using. “I started dressing in drag in college with Ginger. Gilbert.”
Hugo flipped the page, and Kevin saw Hugo’s eyes staring up at him, vicious and fierce. Muscles were ripped across his chest, shoulders, and arms, and he looked so different than in the previous photograph where he was all softness and elegant beauty. Here he only wore a pair of silky shorts and boxing gloves. There was a trophy setting on the ground beside his booted feet.
“That’s me too.”
Hugo continued to flip through the book, showing photos of himself dressed in costumes from various plays he’d been in. There were publicity shots and candid shots. Some were taken with Summer and a man Kevin assumed was Gilbert out of drag, but most were Hugo alone. With each picture revealed, he’d softly say, “That’s me too.”
There were some headshots and a few more pictures of Hugo dressed as Cherrie, and as he turned those pages, Hugo studied Kevin’s face intently. Kevin didn’t think his expression was changing at all with the photos, but it was hard to tell. The most shocking photo so far had been Hugo boxing.
“And this is me.” The next page was slowly turned, as if Hugo was afraid to show it. It was a nude. Black and white. Hugo was on a bed dressed in white sheets with the sun streaming in from the window. It was breathtaking. Hugo’s skin was washed in light as he rested on the bed. On the next page, Kevin saw the same scene, but this time Hugo was hard and touching himself, looking like he was in the throes of ecstasy, unaware anyone was photographing him. Kevin reached out to touch the photo so he could be a part of the moment, but Hugo moved to turn to the next page.
“And this.” Hugo’s voice was so quiet, it was barely a whisper. This was Hugo in tiny blue briefs, which barely covered his ass. It was an ad. He was looking over his shoulder with a smirk and making Kevin want to buy his underwear right then, or better yet, rip it off with his teeth.
“This.” Hugo flipped, and Kevin saw a collage of photos someone had taken in the midst of Hugo becoming Cherrie. He saw the various stages of Hugo’s masculinity melting into femininity in the sequence of only a few photos. It was more than just makeup and clothes. Kevin could see something else happening too.
“I didn’t leave because of you,” Kevin rasped, completely aware of how rough his voice sounded. He cleared his throat before he spoke again, hoping it wouldn’t sound as affected. “I left because I couldn’t allow anyone to talk to you like that, especially someone I brought. I’m sorry I just showed up when I knew you didn’t want me there. I understand now.”
“
This
is part of who I am, Kevin. And I’m
not
ashamed of it,” he said with a subtle shake of his head. “I won’t let anyone, even your friend, demean me for this or try to take away my dignity.”
“Mike was a prick.”
“Mike? That’s his name. Well, no wonder. I have the worst luck with Mikes.”
Kevin couldn’t help but laugh. Of all things to comment on, he chose Mike’s
name
? It was a good icebreaker, though. Kevin smiled at Hugo and got a small one in return.
“I really left to get that fuckwad out of there. I put his drunk ass in a cab. When I came back to find you, you were gone. I called and sent texts.”
“I haven’t checked my phone.”
“Why were you so afraid to tell me about this?” Kevin asked, finally reaching for Hugo’s hand, which he’d been aching to do since Hugo sat down.
Hugo took a minute to set his portfolio on the coffee table and then sat back, pulling Kevin’s hand between both of his. Hugo trailed a finger across Kevin’s knuckles and licked his lips, keeping his eyes focused on their joined hands the entire time.
“Because I wasn’t ready for this to be over yet.”
Kevin could feel the confused frustration mar his face, and he bit at his lips. “And you thought
we
would be over because you do drag?”
Hugo seemed willing to risk a peek up to read Kevin’s face and paused, gaze flashing between Kevin’s eyes as if trying to read the emotion there.
“I wasn’t willing to risk it. I wanted to be with you longer.”
“And you were
that
sure I’d… disappear because of this?” He gestured toward the book.
Hugo nodded and sheepishly admitted, “I
thought
so, but Summer told me I was ridiculous for thinking that.”
Kevin shook his head and said, “I knew there was a reason I liked her.”
With a soft punch to Kevin’s arm, Hugo laughed.
“She’s a keeper,” Hugo said as he squeezed Kevin’s fingers. “I want
you
to be a keeper too.”
“I’m with you on that.” Kevin scooted a little closer. “So you become Miss Cherrie Pop! from time to time. I don’t care about that. She’s fricking sexy. I saw your show.”
“You did?”
“Yeah, while Mike got himself wasted in the beer gardens. I thought Cherrie sounded a little like you, but I didn’t know for sure until I got up close. I watched the show because it was good. I liked it. It was funny, and it was really cool seeing you like that.”
“Like what?” Hugo asked, looking worried.
Kevin took a long deep breath and slowly released it as a sigh, tipping his head back to look at the ceiling as he considered how best to phrase his thoughts. Then he looked into Hugo’s deep blue eyes.
“I remember thinking back in high school it was such a shame how restricted you used to move at school. It was like you walked around with an invisible belt or two cinching your arms to your sides. You were always looser, freer when it was just us or your mom or Charisse at home. You’re even more uninhibited now, today, dressed like you are right now than you were during your most carefree moments back then. But as Cherrie, it was like seeing you give yourself total freedom to explore the more feminine sides of yourself.”
“And that’s an okay thing with you?”
“Are you kidding me? I’m sexually attracted to both men and women, so with you, it’s like I’m gifted with all the soft parts of a woman. Minus breasts and hips, mind you.” They both laughed. “But I get all that masculine strength and the hard muscles I’ve missed for years. I don’t know if that explains it well enough. I don’t know what happened to you in the past that made you just assume I’d leave once I found out, but I’m not that easily scared off. Why don’t you tell me why you dress in drag? What do you like about it? I’d really like to understand.”
“The fabric is what started me off. I loved the feel of silk and satin on my skin, so I tried on a dress.”
“I can appreciate that. I love my silk underwear,” Kevin admitted.
“And like you said, the freedom to explore parts of myself I was basically told were undesirable or unacceptable my whole life. It’s liberating. When I’m Cherrie, people see the whole package, and I can be as femme as I want, and no judgment for being too girly bothers me. I’m fucking supposed to be girly. I’m praised for it, and Cherrie is purely confident in her femininity. It could be a gigantic fuck you to all those people who’ve treated me like Mike did, but that’s not why I do it. It’s for me, not in reaction to them. I appreciate the art of drag and the harmony it gives me. A lot of gay men are cool with guys in drag for entertainment and a laugh, but dating a guy who dresses in drag isn’t nearly as desirable. I haven’t had the best experiences.”
Kevin could feel his brows draw together as he processed the information. There was a lot to think about.
“You’re a boxer too? Drag queen and a boxer?” he finally asked, thinking about those dangerous eyes in the second photo.
“Yes, I am. I could lay you down in a few seconds flat.”
“I might not fight you on that. I may go down willingly.” Kevin waggled his brows in an overexaggerated motion, which brought the chuckle he’d hoped it would.
“But seriously, I learned how to box in college for self-defense after something that happened. I was fairly decent for a while there, but the bruises and the cuts were brutal. I was tired of being a punching bag. Now I hit actual punching bags and speed bags at the gym. It saves my face.”
“Yeah, I can’t imagine as an actor it would go over very well with a director if you showed up bruised and battered.”
“Not at all. I lost jobs right out of college because of it. It was stupid to continue as long as I did, but I liked boxing just as much as I liked working as Cherrie.”
“You’re about as far away from a stereotype as you can get, aren’t you, Hugo Thorson? You’re full of surprises.”
“I never believed in living up to stereotypes. I only believed in living up to what I wanted to be.”
“And I think you do that beautifully.”
Hugo rolled his lips between his teeth and then asked. “Do you really?”
“I’m not going anywhere, Hugo. This can’t make me run away from you. I want you to be
just you
with me. No one else. And if that means every part of you that’s represented in your book needs to come to life from time to time, I’ll take up boxing to spar with you, I’ll help you hook your bra when you’re dressing as Miss Cherrie, and I’d love nothing more than to take beautiful nude photographs of you. I want to be part of every facet of your life. Okay?”
“Even the gross and scary and ugly stuff?”
“Even that. But that means you need to deal with all the skeletons in my closet too, and there are quite a few. I’m about as far from perfect as a guy can get.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
“You know I love you, right?” Kevin had to ask.
“Yeah.”
Hugo leaned in and kissed Kevin, but Kevin pulled back after he licked Hugo’s mouth.
“Pomegranate?”
Hugo looked embarrassed. “Lip balm. Sorry. Actually, it’s pomegranate raspberry flavored. That long-lasting lipstick is a bitch, and it dries out my lips.”
“I wasn’t complaining. It’s good.”
“Organic too.”
“Mmm, natural,” Kevin said before moving closer for another sweetly flavored kiss. “Wait. One more question. Is that your actual acting portfolio, because I can’t imagine there are many cock shots in portfolios that land on most directors’ desks?”
“No. My portfolio is tame and boring compared to that. I just put the shots I wanted to show you in the book.”
“And who took the hot picture of you jerking off?” There was a wrinkle of jealousy in Kevin’s voice, but he didn’t bother ironing it away.
“My ex-boyfriend. The one I broke up with last year and who basically turned me into a monk.”
“Mmm,” Kevin grumbled, not happy about the guy being anywhere near Hugo in the past to hurt him, let alone near him in such a private and beautiful moment.
“You know, I do have one more little thing. A test, if you will.” Hugo smirked. He stood and lifted his tight shirt over his head, tossing it out of the way, not caring where it landed. Then with what was something like a tease, Hugo unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his green pants before slowly unzipping them.
Kevin didn’t know what to expect underneath the pants, but when they were finally pushed down, he saw a pair of tight square-cut briefs. They were white with a green waistband and accent stitching. For some reason, it was funny, and Kevin started to chuckle.
“You were totally expecting lace panties or for my cock to be in a see-through pouch, weren’t you?” Hugo teased.
Kevin couldn’t stop laughing and gave a guilty little nod. “Well, you said it was a test. I didn’t think you’d be wearing tighty-whities. Okay, those are a lot hotter than plain old tighty-whities, but still.”
“I’m just being stupid, but to be fair, let’s see what
you
have to offer, Mr. Magnus,” Hugo challenged.
Kevin stood and stripped off his shirt, then pushed his shorts down to his knees and stood with his hands on his hips. He just waited for the comments.
“Micro briefs? You’re wearing less fabric than me. And stripes. I like.”
“I’m glad you approve. Did I pass your test?” Kevin asked.
“You passed it the second you sat down and gave me the opportunity to tell you my story today. No interruptions. That’s what I needed.” A warm smile spread across Hugo’s face. It was going to be okay, Kevin thought.
“So, can we go up to my bed and fuck now?”
“I
T
’
S
SO
big! I don’t think I’ve ever been on one this big.”
“I’m sure you have.”
“No, seriously. This is ginormous! Where do you find sheets for this thing?”
“Uhh… I don’t know. Online. The linen department. The sheet store?” Kevin finished with a question.
“You’re funny. You’ve never bought sheets for your bed.”