Sound Advice (Sensations Collection #1) (32 page)

Katie shrugged, which was a new motion for her.

“Daddy says you’re leaving.” Tears were in Katie’s eyes.

“Yes, Katie. I am leaving. I have to go back to my home. Remember, I don’t live here. And I have a job where I go to work every day like your daddy. I’ve just had some free time here to help my grandma. Remember Nana?”

Katie nodded her assent.

“I thought…I thought you were going to break the spell for daddy, too,” Katie said innocently.

“What spell, honey?” I questioned with concern.

“The one where you kiss the beast and he turns into a prince again. I saw you kiss daddy, but he still seems like a beast sometimes.”

I didn’t know whether to gasp at the thought of Katie witnessing my kissing her father or laugh at the idea that Katie still called him a beast.

“I thought you were going to marry him and live happily ever after.”

I did gasp now and I heard a noise in the other room. Tricia quickly stuck her head around the dining room entryway, apologizing for dropping something. She just as quickly moved her head behind the doorway.

“I…I don’t think…” I had to proceed carefully here and I didn’t want to say anything negative against Jess. However, I didn’t want to reveal too much of my own feelings that would confuse the girl.

“Well, Katie girl, getting married is a big deal when two people are in love and they’ve known each other for a while.”

“But I saw you kiss daddy, so you must love him. Daddy says kisses are a sign of love.”

“Well, yes…” I had to pause again. “Kissing does mean love, and I…I do love your daddy in a special way, but we haven’t known each other long enough to get married.” I felt like I was digging a deep, deep hole.

“If you stayed, you could get to know him better. He’s not always the beast. He does really nice things too.” Katie was so innocent in her pleading and the love she felt for her father was obvious.

“I know your daddy can be very sweet, honey. But I want you to know that even if I go,
you
will always be in here.” I pointed to my heart. I wanted to move the conversation away from the topic of marriage and back to how I felt about her.

“Do you understand? In here,” I pointed to my heart again. “I will love you forever even if I am not around. I would like to come back and visit you. Maybe next summer? And I will always remember all the time we spent together in here.” I pointed to my head. “And I will remember how smart you are, and what we learned together, here.” I held up our hands pressing our palms together. Katie’s hand looked tiny compared to my slim one, and she stared at our combined fingers, examining hers and mine.

“I’ll miss you,” Katie whispered.

“Oh, honey, I will miss you too.” I intertwined our fingers and pulled Katie to me. There was a shuffling sound in the other room again and Tricia walked into the living room. I felt the awkwardness coming off Tricia, who glanced over her own shoulder into the other room.

“Well, I hear you’re leaving,” Tricia started wearily. “I told you I plan to visit Chicago before school starts. I finally talked Trent into it. Maybe we can stop and see you?” Tricia hesitated on the last question.

“I’d love that.” I felt like I was being dismissed and knew how to take the hint.

“I guess I better be going. Will you tell your mom I’m really sorry I missed her? I have plans to have dinner with the Carpenters’ later and I leave first thing Wednesday morning.”

“Sure. Anything else? Want me to say anything to anyone else?” Tricia hesitated. Another noise came from the other room and I looked at Tricia, puzzled.

“Is everything okay in there? Is someone else here?”

“No, no. It’s just…the dishwasher.” I was already moving toward the entryway to the dining room, and I heard Tricia suck in a breath behind me, but when I casually looked into the other room it was empty.
Okay,
I thought skeptically. I walked to the front door, hugged Katie one more time and signed
I love you
. I hugged Tricia as well and thanked her for letting me see Katie one last time.

I BUSIED MYSELF with painting the dining room the rest of the day. I was too drained after my encounter with Jess the night before to finish my frenzy of packing, and went to bed, lights left on, wearing dirty clothes and all. I finished packing in the early morning hours when the text came through from Rosie about the baby, and I returned the call to congratulate my sister before the rental meeting this morning. Rosie was leaving me in charge of everything and in some ways it was just easier to do it all alone. There was that word again –
alone
. When I finished painting, I pulled off the dust covers and threw them in the laundry, took a shower, and lay down for a nap. I awoke at 5:30 and quickly changed for dinner with the Carpenters.

I felt guilty about how I treated George and I was worried that even though the Carpenters asked me to join them for dinner, the evening would be awkward if the conversation centered on him. Sue continued to be the friend she had turned into and welcomed me with open arms. She acted as if nothing happened between George and I, and maybe, I thought, she had no idea that anything did, or rather, didn’t, happen. I breathed a sigh of relief and enjoyed the dinner.

We ate outside in the cool evening air, and Sue finally brought the conversation around to the Carters.

“I heard what happened with that little darling. You were a blessing to that child.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“You know sometimes things happen for a reason. People come into our lives for an unknown purpose. Sometimes those people stay around, and sometimes they go.” Here Sue leveled a look at me. “But whatever the reason is, it’s a kind of destiny, and we can’t deny it.” Sue was still looking intensely at me. I sipped my drink slowly before responding.

“What if we don’t know what that destiny is?”

“We can never know what our destiny will bring us. When you knew you had to come see your nana, did you ever think it was because she was going to die? When you met that little girl, did you ever think you would be the one to think of sign language and then be the one to teach it to her? When you met her father, did you think you would fall in love with him?”

I gasped, “Sue!”

“You can’t deny destiny, Emily. That’s what destiny is. It’s fate. You can’t change it, but what you can change is what you do next. It’s like a road not taken. Which path will you take?”

She paused for her words to sink in.

“Look, I’m no advice columnist or psychiatrist, I just believe that everything happens for a reason. I know you’re leaving, and that has a reason as well, but you need to make sure you are leaving for the right reason.”

“And what is that?” I tried not to sound angry, almost demanding an answer.

“Only you know what the reason is, honey.”

Well, that wasn’t helpful
, I thought.

You never know what may happen during the night. Never go to sleep having said words you might regret. Agree to disagree for the moment, or better yet, make up with your significant other.

“Matters of Manners,”1969

I HAD TROUBLE sleeping on Monday night, and I woke grumpy. If ever there was an appropriate seven-dwarf name that I appreciated, that was the one. I had rarely gone into Nana’s room after her death, and I needed to double-check the master bedroom. I had already removed all the clothing from the dresser and the closet. I’d placed the keepsake sweaters and her wedding dress in the closet with the old fairy tale books. I had taken the one picture on the dresser to my own room, which would go with me to my apartment along with the other pictures. Nana’s jewelry was being taken to my home as well until Rosie and I could discuss it better. The room looked bare despite the new bedspread I’d purchased because I couldn’t bear the thought of strangers using Nana’s quilts. I cleaned, folded, and sealed them in special wrap before storing them in the closet with the other sentimental items. I sat on the edge of the bed thinking about my grandparents.

My grandmother loved my grandfather to the point that her most important memory froze her mind in the time when they were dating and eventually married. I recalled the night that my grandmother tried to “escape” through the window to see her beloved. She was willing to do whatever it took to be with John, whether her parents approved or not. It would have been a leap of faith, in more ways than one. Nana left this town with my grandfather for years, only to return often as his wife. This was their home. The one I remembered them in before and after they lived in my house when my mother died. Saying goodbye to a house seemed silly, and I knew I had to let it go. I closed the door as I left Nana’s room.

I decided to walk to the beach to say goodbye to the water as well. Another silly tradition, but one my grandparents would make Rosie and I do at the end of each summer visit. I remembered as I walked the street through town how much I had hated Michigan as a child. Although coming to the lake was fun, and visiting with my grandparents was bearable, it was the rest of the year that I found disagreeable for some reason. As an adult, I was seeing Michigan in a new light. The beauty of the lake. The quiet calm of a small town. The pride of a community. A single father and his adorable daughter. It was going to be harder to say goodbye than I thought.

I was sitting in the screened-in porch with a single light on next to me, and I sipped a glass of wine, staring into space. It was almost midnight when I heard a light knock on the screen door. I couldn’t make out exactly who the person was in the darkness, but based on the height and the late hour, I had a good guess.

“Jess?”

“Yeah.”

I unlatched the door to let Jess inside. He looked like a runway model for casual clothes as he stood in his cargo shorts and dark t-shirt. His hair was pulled back as always, but without the bandana. I waited. I wasn’t sure I would see him again and I thought after the other night’s sad kiss, all goodbyes were said.

“I know we sort of already said goodbye, and I hope you don’t mind, but I just needed to see you again.”

“Needed?” I tried to smile in hopes to lighten the slight tension.

“Wanted. I wanted to see you again.” He paused, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck and holding it there. “Actually, I wanted to see you…badly.” His blue eyes were changing to that bright denim color. I smiled slowly for real this time.

“Why?”

“I know I’ve held you off. It was to protect Katie. To protect myself. And I said things and did things that contradicted each other, only because I didn’t know what else to do. I told you once to get out of my head, and you just never did. And I realize now that if I don’t…if I don’t ask, I’ll never know what it was like, and I think…I think I would miss out on something
now
that I could hold onto forever.”

I squeezed my eyebrows, creasing my forehead, and I wasn’t sure I understood what he was asking me.

“I know…I know you’re leaving tomorrow. And I can’t really do a goodbye as you drive away. So I was wondering…hoping… maybe for one more…”

I cut him off as I leapt for him. I jumped up and wrapped my arms around his neck as he caught me at the waist before surrounding me with his strong arms. We stood like this for several moments before I risked kissing his neck. I moved to his face, planting small kisses across his clenched jaw. Jess turned into me before I reached his mouth, and covered mine with his. There was no hesitation. Our mouths were open, exploring as tongues searched, teeth nibbled, and lips sucked on one another. Jess was carrying me into the kitchen and I was wrapped around his waist with my legs. He placed his hands under my thighs and hiked me up to meet his middle, before he slipped his hands to my bottom, inside my shorts.

“If you want to stop me, now is the time, Emily. You know I am perfectly happy to sleep, only sleep, with you. But tonight…tonight, I want to be with you.” His words were sweet, but his voice was dangerously seductive. There was no way I was stopping him.

I continued to softly kiss his neck and jaw as he carried me up the stairs to my room. He laid me on the bed and reached behind his head to remove his t-shirt with one hand. He pulled me upright and removed my shirt as well. He crawled over me, and our legs tangled together as he lay to the side of me. He traced a finger around my bra, outlining my breasts, before removing one strap at a time. He bit one shoulder and then the other. I knew he was taking his time, memorizing my body, and I slowly smoothed my palms over his abs and up his chest to his shoulders then down his back in memorization as well. He removed my bra with one pinched motion, another thing only guys can do, and kissed each breast. I thought I would scream with anticipation as he took his time to nibble and suck each one.