Sound Advice (Sensations Collection #1) (27 page)

“That Debbie did a real number on him, and an even bigger number on his little girl. We’ve tried everything you can think of for that child, and one day I just realized the best I can do is love her, which I do immensely. I can see in your face you love her too, and as much as it will sting for you to leave, and leave you will, I know that little girl will know you left loving her, not dismissing her.”

I felt like crying. Mrs. Carter wasn’t scolding me or reprimanding me, she was stating a fact. I did love Katie, but I was still planning to leave.

The back door opened into the kitchen as a vision in bright pink bounced through the door followed by a smiling father. When Jess looked up, his expression immediately went dark as he glanced between his mother and me.

“What’s going on here?”

“Oh, Miss Emily here has brought me some flowers and we are just having a girl chat.”

Jess looked wearily at me.

“I was hoping to find Katie and take her to the beach. It’s so sunny outside and I just couldn’t concentrate on Nana’s house or my work today.” I tried to sound cheery, like nothing was on my mind. Like I hadn’t spent the night with this man holding me, doing things to me that I hadn’t felt in a long time, and desperately wanted to feel again. And again. And again.

“Well, I just stopped home to drop her off after the tutoring session.”

“Oh, I know you’re busy. I thought maybe Katie and I could have some girl time, but I understand if you say no.”

“Can I see you outside for a moment?”

Like an errant child, I followed Jess out the back door after I thanked Mrs. Carter for the ice tea.

“What did I say last night?” His tone was angry, like he was exasperated.

“Well, you said many things last night,” I tried to joke.

“Emily.” His tone was stern. “Emily, this is tricky where Katie is concerned. I need to be careful how much time she spends with you. I don’t want her hurt. As a matter of fact, I will do everything to prevent it, which might mean you not seeing her.”

Those threatening tears were back, and I felt my heart drop at the realization that Jess would cut me off from his daughter.

“You’ve done more for her than anyone ever has,” he continued. “And I can see that you share a bond with each other. But last night freaked me out when she…when she said she loved you.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “Look, I’m not saying you can’t see her. I’m just trying to protect her from when you leave.” And there it was again: the suggestion that I was leaving.

Of course I was leaving. My apartment was in Chicago. My things were there. My job was there. But my heart? That was a different story. Unfortunately, while everyone was worried about protecting Jess and Katie from my departure, there was no one worrying about how it would affect me to leave them behind. It wasn’t only the suggestion of leaving, but more an implication that the time was coming soon.
Very soon
.

Social gatherings in a new, unfamiliar place can lead to curiosity; however, it is never appropriate to wander into areas outside those designated by the hostess. Be aware of the boundaries.

“Matters of Manner,” 1968

THERE WAS AN open invitation for me to attend the beer tent on Friday night with the Carters. The event was mentioned the night of Tom’s party and the idea of another social gathering was enticing to me. Harbor Days had a contagious excitement I could not deny, and I realized after the frantic energy of Tom’s house party how much I missed going out with other people. I loved the vibe of clubs back in the city. A beer tent, however, was not exactly a nightclub, but it would do. Jess had reissued the invitation after our conversation in his backyard yesterday in a half-hearted comment.

“Look, I’ll see you at the beer tent tomorrow, okay?”

I didn’t take Katie to the beach after all and came home to throw myself into cleaning, organizing, and preparing to paint the inside of Nana’s house. I was setting up for another long day of work and I needed the distraction from my thoughts. I let the excitement of attending a beer tent be my reward for the day’s hard work.

Jess didn’t come to my house that night, and I didn’t really expect him to, but it hurt just the same. There were so many contradictions.
Don’t love Katie. He doesn’t hate me. Sleep with him. Stay away from Katie. String me to the point of desire, then reject me. Kiss me to the point of distraction, then walk away.
For heaven’s sake, I’d had an orgasm through my shorts with him. It was with this thought in mind that I jumped as my phone rang early Friday morning.

“Hello?”

“Good morning, Emily. It’s Jack Dooley. Your boss. The editor of
Chicago Travels
. Remember me?” I heard the teasing in his voice, but sensed an undertone of something more.

“Hey, Jack. Did you get those articles I sent you about the fall colors and M22? Also about the apple picking places in southern Michigan?”

“I did, I did. Good stuff. I love fall, and speaking of it, we’d really like you here for our conference on the fall edition.” He hesitated. “It’s been a month, Emily. How are things going there?”

“Good. Um, Nana’s house is almost ready. I need to do some painting and buy some things to freshen up the place, but it’s mostly ready to go on the rental market. I haven’t finalized the rental agent, but I have a call into someone for Monday.” I squeezed my eyes shut as I said
Monday
. It implied I would be at Nana’s a little longer.

“The town celebrates Harbor Days and it puts everyone on hold for the week leading up to this weekend.” I was rubbing my forehead as I attempted this weak explanation. Jack had been kind and understanding of my position as the sole relative responsible for Nana’s things and I didn’t want to take advantage of his generosity, but I needed a few more days.

“The conference is Thursday morning, Emily.” Another hesitation. “Can you make it back for it?” I knew that as much as this was a question, there was also a hint of demand. I needed to be there or I was jeopardizing my job.

“Thursday morning. Got it. Be there.”

“Good, good. It will be great to have you back in the office. We’ve missed you around here.”

I held the phone up to my forehead after we said our goodbyes. Thursday morning meant I would have to leave Wednesday to make the six and a half hour drive home. My home in Chicago. That feeling of
Very Soon
was now defined by days, and I sighed as the phone rang again against my head.

“Hello?”

“Hey.” It was Jess.

“Hey.” I sighed.

“Everything okay?”

“Sure, sure.” I sounded like my boss.

“Okay, my brother’s taking his boat out on the lakes today since we are closed for the weekend, and I was wondering…well…if you’d like to come with us? With me? With Katie?”

I didn’t want to sound too excited, and my first thought was excitement, but recalling his words yesterday stopped me.

“Are you sure? I don’t want…”

“Listen. I’m sorry about yesterday. You startled me in the kitchen with my mom and I said some things that I shouldn’t have said the way I did. It’s just…I’m a dad. I have to think of Katie first, always.”

“I understand. I would never try to jeopardize that or hurt her.”

“I know. I really hate to apologize over the phone, so can you say yes and I can say what I need to say in person.”

“Okay.” I was hesitant. This didn’t sound good. As a matter of fact, it sounded like a preamble to a break up.
But we aren’t together
, I scolded myself.
And now I’m leaving on Wednesday, anyway.

“Is that an okay-yes or an okay-maybe?”

“A yes. Definitely yes.”

I scolded myself again as I ran up the stairs to put on my bathing suit, forgetting all about painting for the day.
What am I doing?

THE BOAT WAS able to hold Jess, Katie, and me, as well as Tom and his daughters, Madison and Meghan. Tom’s wife, Karyn, didn’t want to risk the boat ride with her late pregnancy. The plan was to meet up with Karyn’s younger brother, Ethan Scott, in the middle of the lake and switch people around if needed for water skiing. Tricia and Trent were with Ethan. I hadn’t been water skiing since I was a little girl and I was nervous to try again. Thankfully, the younger girls went first. Tom was the driver while Jess was the official spotter.

We were picking up speed as we exited the harbor and began to travel across Elk Lake. I was standing in the passenger seat, leaning on the top edge of the open window taking in the fresh lake air. Jess slid in behind me, sitting on the back of the seat rather than the chair. Katie and her cousins had on their life jackets as they sat on the bow of the boat, holding on as Tom increased the speed. Katie was smiling as her cousins yelled, “Faster. Faster,” at their father

When Tom made a slight jump in the water, I fell backwards awkwardly onto Jess’ spread legs. I moved forward to stand up again when Jess grabbed my hips and adjusted me to sit between his legs, leaning back against his bare chest. My hair was pulled up in a messy bun and he kissed my bare shoulder as the boat skimmed faster. I looked up to see Katie watching us, and I put my arm out to grab the top of the open window and pull myself forward to regain my earlier stance.

As the younger girls each took their turn to water ski, I remembered an embarrassing incident when I was a developing teenager wearing a string bikini, and I was starting to second guess wearing my navy-blue halter cut two-piece today. I had to try to get up on the skis in the water, which was more difficult than being dragged from a dock, and I almost fell over face first before I dropped the line on my first attempt.

On the second attempt, I got up, but warned Tom to go slower at first. As the familiarity of skiing came back, I began to enjoy the spray of the water and the thrill of the speed. I risked letting go of the line with one hand to signal
faster
, and I was able to see Jess despite the spray. I assumed when he turned away it was to tell Tom to speed up. The feeling was exhilarating and I was carefree for just a few moments. I wasn’t going to think about my job or Nana’s house. I wasn’t going to question Jess’ contradictions or Katie’s emotions. I looked around at the white caps of the waves made by the boat’s wake, the dark blue of the water up ahead, the flash of greenery as trees blended together on the shores of the lake, and another bright red boat off in the distance. I gave a whoop of excitement.

But that other boat might have been closer than I thought and a ripple of waves counteracted the waves that flowed under my skis. Feeling myself lose control, I wobbled as my skis separated at odd angles, then crossed each other. I couldn’t get them uncrossed, panicked, and dropped the line only to go face first into the water.

Being underwater is a peaceful experience when swimming. The weightlessness. The feeling of moving effortlessly. The sensation of floating, almost like flying, as you sail through the water. But falling into water can be frightening and my bearings were easily turned upside down as swirls of white bubbles surrounded me, and the ski jacket seemed to make any attempts to move more cumbersome. My arms were flailing and my legs kicked frantically at the shock of cold water pressing on me. All I could see was murky brown water swirling around me.

Suddenly I was yanked upward and gasped for air as I broke the surface of the water. I knew someone was behind me, but I was too busy choking on water to know who it was.

“I’ve got you,” that familiar voice said, sounding strained.

“I’m okay,” I coughed. “Did you see me? I was awesome.” The adrenaline rushed through me before the shock took over.

“Oh, I saw you. Awesome isn’t how I would describe it.” He reached around me, gripping the life jacket to spin me to face him.

“Holy shit. Are you okay?” Jess’ dripping fingers touched my head.

“Ouch.” He pulled away his hand to reveal bright red blood and I gingerly touched my forehead above my left eye. More red blood mixed with my wet fingertips.

“Oh, God.”