Sound Advice (Sensations Collection #1) (16 page)

“I see,” he replied again with a bit of anger in his voice. He was clenching his jaw in a rhythm.

“I’ve made a list of things that need to be done to the house before I can use it as a rental. I still need my sister, Rosie, to fully consent. I hate to sell it.” I looked over my shoulder at the fairy-tale cottage playhouse my grandfather had built. So many daydreams of princes, castles, and happily ever after were lived in that house years ago.

“I see,” he mumbled on repeat one more time.

I couldn’t fill the empty silence with any more words - not the words I wanted to say or the feelings I had inside. It would be a heavy burden, but some words were best left unsaid.

I BROKE THE news to Nana as best I could. I explained that I wanted her to come visit me at my home. This was the ruse, of course. I promised Nana she could take the radio and any other small items. I also promised tickets to plays and concerts in the theatre district. I joked with Nana to bring all her fineries for going out in the city and shopping downtown. She listened in silence and knotted crooked fingers together. I knew I probably wasn’t fooling her. That was the problem. When Nana was off, she was in a different time frame and a different state of mind, but when she was on, she was coherent and present. At the moment, I believed Nana was
on
and saw right through my scheme of visiting.

That night I sat with Nana in the living room and listened to songs play on the newly restored radio. Some of the songs were crystal clear and obvious reproductions, while others sounded like scratchy records spinning classics. If Nana was fooled, she did not let on. She listened with her foot tapping and a smile on her face, lost in another decade that included women in pretty, frilly dresses and men in uniforms for grand dance halls. I was sure Nana thought of stolen kisses and broken hearts as she moved her head side to side with the recognition of a song. A tear or two occasionally escaped her old, sad eyes, even with the smile on her lips, and I again had a feeling of intruding on a memory too personal and intimate by being in the room.

Eventually Nana said she was tired and I helped her up the stairs. She seemed to have grown frailer despite my visit and the shaky hands and wobbly knees did not go unnoticed. I waited while Nana completed her nightly ritual of hair pins and nightgown before I helped her into bed and kissed her head gently.

“Love you, Nana.”

“Love you too, Emily.”

I WAS IN the dining room again. My laptop was on and surrounded by books and sheets of paper spread everywhere. I had my iPod on as well with the ear-buds in so as not to wake Nana. I let the music drown me as I searched the Internet for retirement and assisted living homes in the Chicago area. It was time to get back on the path I had fallen off of and plan ahead. I thought I heard a noise and paused in mid-typing, waiting a minute for a repeat of the noise, but I heard nothing else. But then I heard another thump and pushed my chair back to stand up. The iPod slid off the table because it was still attached to my ear-buds and I bent to pick it up. When I was down under the table, I had a view of Nana’s feet through the rails of the staircase banister as she was walking down the stairs. I stood up to call Nana’s name, but a scream came out instead as I saw my grandmother slip on the sixth stair and tumble to the base of the stairwell.

“Nana?” I yelled. “Nana, can you hear me?”

She was silent and I was afraid to touch her. There was banging on the door as I stood to get my cell phone.

“Emily, let me in, it’s Jess,” I vaguely heard through the door.

Ignoring him, I continued to run for the phone, deciding on the landline instead. It wasn’t a cordless, but a wall phone with a long cord. I couldn’t reach the front door with the phone in my hand. I dialed 911 as Jess continued to bang on the door. When the dispatcher answered I was breathing so hard I could hardly speak the address clearly, nor could I explain the emergency. I kept glancing at my grandmother’s frail body sprawled on the floor. It was an image I was sure I would never get out of my mind.

Jess was still banging on the door, yelling my name as the 911 operator was asking me more questions about Nana’s vitals. I couldn’t take the phone with me to check my grandmother and the operator told me to hold the line. An ambulance was on the way, and I could put the phone down to check Nana, but I was shaking so hard I wasn’t sure if I found a pulse or not. It suddenly occurred to me that Nana could be dead.

Oh, God. Please, no. Please no
.

Someone was talking on the phone behind me, but I was frozen as I knelt next to Nana. Joe Carpenter came through the kitchen doorway into the living room and found me sitting at the bottom of the stairs, leaning over Nana.

“I don’t know what happened. I heard a noise, and then another noise. Then I saw Nana almost to the end of the stairs and she fell. I don’t know if I screamed and it made her fall or if she fell and then I screamed.” I was shaking enough that it was visible.

“The ambulance is on the way. It will be Pam in the ambulance. Don’t move her.”

Jess
? I thought.
Was that Jess’ voice?
I was stiff with shock, but I couldn’t control the shaking.

“All right, tell me what you were doing here again.” It was Joe Carpenter talking to Jess.

“I think…I think this is my fault.” Jess looked at Joe guiltily.

“Why would you say that? Be very careful how you answer me, Jess.” It was that authoritative Chief of Police voice that Joe was using.

“I came here to talk to Emily. I saw a light on upstairs and thought it was her room. I threw a couple pebbles at the window to try and get her attention.”

“I was in the dining room,” I stammered. “There couldn’t have been a light. Nana was sleeping.”

“I swear, Joe. Go look. The light was on before I threw the pebbles. Oh God, I’m so sorry.” Jess looked at me with pleading eyes. He sank down next to me on the floor and reached for me, but I pulled away slightly.

“Careful, Jess. Emily, honey, you okay? You’re shaking pretty bad. I hear the siren.” Joe spoke soothingly as he moved to open the front door.

“How did you get in here?” I asked Jess. It was a silly question to ask at this time.

Joe answered. “Jess broke the screen in the back by the kitchen. I’ll make sure he fixes it free of charge.” He glared in Jess’ direction. Jess had backed away from me and stood, then leaned back to rest against the couch arm when the EMTs arrived.

“Jess?” a female voice addressed him.

“Pam,” Jess responded.

“Let’s take a look. Honey, you have to move now, okay? You come with me.” The woman named Pam helped me up and asked me if I was hurt in any way. She saw that I was shaking and a blanket was wrapped around me. Two men worked with Nana who still had not responded.

“She’s not? She’s not…” I couldn’t finish the question.

Pam answered. “No, no, she’s still breathing, just unconscious. My guess is a broken hip and a broken arm. Maybe a few broken ribs. Be careful there,” she said to her fellow workers.

When Nana was being removed from the house, I asked if I could ride with her.
 

“How will you get home?” Pam asked, but she was looking in the direction where Jess sat.

“I’ll follow with Joe,” his husky voice replied.

I climbed into the ambulance and sat where Pam directed me. The driver started the engine and turned on the lights as we drove away from Nana’s fairy tale home.

At the hospital, they gave Nana oxygen and told me she would need to rest. She had a broken hip and a broken arm. Due to her age and the damage to her bones, she would have difficulty recovering. For now she was heavily sedated to ease the pain and allow for comfort. The nurse suggested I go home, but seemed to know I would not leave.

“At least go get yourself some coffee or something to eat. She won’t wake for a while,” the nurse assured me.

When I walked out of Nana’s hospital room, I saw Jess and Joe sitting in green plastic chairs down the hall. Joe was leaning back with his head against the wall, but Jess was leaning forward with elbows propped on his knees, his hands on his head. His bandana was around his wrist and his hands were laced through his loose hair. I approached them and my presence made Jess look up.

“Thank you both. They said Nana is resting for now and won’t wake for a while. She did break her hip and her arm. I’m going to stay so you both can go home now.” I was trying to stay very calm.

“Emily, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean…” But I put my hand up to stop Jess from speaking.

“This is
not
your fault. And I swear I do not blame you. I don’t know what Nana was doing.”

Joe stood. “All right, Jess. Take me home?”

Jess looked at Joe and then back to me.

“I’d like to stay,” he said to me.

“You don’t need to do that. I’m fine. I’m going to go get some coffee and will be back in a few minutes.” I backed away slowly before turning around and walking briskly toward the next hallway. As soon as I rounded the first corner and was out of sight of the men, I leaned against the wall, face forward. I couldn’t hold it in any longer and I burst into tears with both hands covering my mouth, just like the night Nana tried to leave through the window.

I was piecing things together in my mind. If Nana was awake, and she heard the pebbles hit the window, she probably thought it was John. I had told Nana not to go through the window. If she wanted to meet John, I promised I would take her downstairs and through the front door. I was trying to think like Nana and I believed she simply acted out what I had suggested. Go through the front door.

Suddenly, two hands touched my shoulders. The hands slid down my arms to turn me around. I didn’t look up, although I knew it was Jess, and I couldn’t hold back. I jumped at him and wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my wet face into his shoulder and sobbing harder. I didn’t want to make a scene. I didn’t want to make noise, so I actually opened my mouth as if to bite Jess’ shoulder and pressed down to prevent the sobbing sound from escaping. His arms wrapped around me as well and he was stroking my hair when it hit me that he was only touching me because he felt guilty. I quickly disentangled myself from his hold and pushed back on his chest, which pressed me into the wall. I was trapped as Jess returned his hands to my shoulders, but after I wiped both sides of my face, I gently pushed his hands away.

“Don’t.”

“I’m sorry,” Jess whispered, bending slightly to look me in the eye.

“I swear I don’t blame you. If anything it was my fault. I told Nana if she thought John came for her, she should come down the stairs and out the front door. I couldn’t risk her jumping out the window. Instead, I just encouraged her to fall down the stairs.” My voice squeaked with my rising hysteria.

“Don’t do this. This was not your fault either.”

“Don’t,” I demanded as Jess went to touch my cheeks. “You don’t need to be here. I know how you feel about me, and I don’t need you to feel guilty. I’m fine. I promise I don’t blame you.”

He pulled back from me with a huff and it gave me the chance to escape down the main hall and away from him.

NANA WAS IN the hospital for four days. She woke at times and called for John. She mumbled in her drugged sleep that she could not be kept from him. Arrangements were made for a rehabilitation center to assist Nana when she could be moved. The medical center was helpful, but tried to be realistic with me. Most patients of an older age who suffer a trauma, such as a fall and broken bones, do not recover enough to return to their own homes. I knew without a doubt now that my choice to take Nana to Chicago was no longer the visit I promised her. Nana would never be returning to her cottage style home again.

On the fourth day, Nana opened her eyes and she seemed coherent as she looked at me.

“They can’t keep me away from John,” her weak voice strained.

“I know, Nana. I know.” I could sense the overwhelming love my grandmother felt for my grandfather even in her older age.

“Nana, I’m so sorry. Are you in pain? Can I get you anything?”

But Nana had already closed her pale eyes again. A single teardrop slid down her face and then she was gone. They couldn’t keep her away. She rejoined her John.