Well, even though Kelley wasn’t here, Jason cleaned up and sought out Daisy, locking his brain against Ned and refusing to open the door to more distrust. With God’s help, he’d keep it locked. He had too much to do and had no need to trouble his mind any further. At least working amidst Kelley’s belongings would keep her close somehow.
As the sun declined, dusk air turned cool. While Scott got busy building a campfire in a designated circle of stones, Jason, Bragg, and two other wranglers helped Daisy set out the food. Then Hooper once again addressed the gathering crowd for grace.
“If any of you all would like to say the blessing for this meal, why, we encourage you to take turns and praise as you wish.”
Jason spoke but not without thinking. The thought had come quick. Something he didn’t know he’d been searching for, he’d found here at Hearts Crossing. A family who stuck together. God, Who was the glue. Kelley needed his support, not jealousy. “I’d like to, Hoop.” He looked around the group, and read surprise on Hooper’s face. “If it’s all right.”
“That it is.”
“Well, today, riding next to these mountains, I asked God for the help I need to settle something in my mind. And He blessed me. I don’t know if getting bounced around on a horse pounded it into my head, but I felt the blessing just the same.” Everybody laughed, and Jason’s heart filled. He’d never see most of them again, yet he had to let them know. “You see, I didn’t know Him all that well, before coming to Hearts Crossing. And even then, it took a few months. But I know Him now. And I’d like to thank Him for the peace in my heart, for the pleasure of your company, and for our cook Daisy and this wonderful meal.”
Folks murmured their approval, and Hoop gave a pleased nod.
Jason not only helped Daisy dish out the meal but he also helped clean up and stash her gear – and for the first time, he got to sample Kelley’s Sloppy Josephines and would have to admit to her they were great.
“Listen, you go now. I can use the time to get my shower while you all go to the campfire.” Daisy pointed to a large plastic gizmo with a shower hose attached. “Water heats up during the day. Most folks use baby wipes or take a dip in the creek or Old Joe’s Hole, but Cookie, now. She’s gotta mind her hygiene.”
“OK…”
“And you definitely don’t want to miss Bragg’s stories. Or his guitar.”
Both were wonderful. The only thing missing was Kelley at his side. The campfire heated up his feet, but his shoulder could have used someone, Kelley, leaning against it. Her hand warming his fingers. But in the night breeze, he did without as happy couples and eager kids sank into the satisfied fatigue of a busy day. As folks disbanded for their tents, Bragg held a small devotion, then played the classic hymn,
Amazing Grace
.
The song was one most people could sing, or at least hum, in their sleep, Jason included. Snowy and September had exposed him to all kinds of music, from sitar to Gregorian chant. But hearing Bragg Martin’s fingers strum magic from his well-used guitar slid the notes into Jason’s ears in a way he’d never imagined.
How sweet the sound
.
That saved a wretch like me.
After a quick tooth brushing and wipe down, he slunk out of his boots and crawled into one of the wagons with a blanket, Bryce at his side. Kelley was in his head, on his mind, but for the first time ever, his first action when head met scrawny pillow was a prayer.
8
On the tray table next to Ned’s bed, Kelley smoothed the sweatshirt she’d gotten in the hospital gift shop and laid her head on it. During their four years together, she had often imagined watching Ned sleep. On a honeymoon, maybe. Or after a long night with a newborn child.
Never as he was now, so pale he might not have spent one single second in the sun. Tubes every which way. A quick glance at her watch told her it was Wednesday morning. Very early. She’d been here almost two days.
Thank God for the gift shop toothbrush, too. Even with the memory of Jason’s taste on her mouth, Kelley hadn’t been able to leave Ned’s side. Despite Pike’s pleas she return to the ranch after the transfusion. Their last conversation on Monday afternoon rang again through her mind.
“I can’t leave him, Pike. He doesn’t have anybody.” There had never been a dad in the picture, and his mom had passed well before Ned’s rootless life as a rodeo rider had begun.
Pike’s hand on her still-shaky shoulder had been firm and big-brother. “He doesn’t have you either, Kel. He had his chance. You’ve done all you can. Don’t get yourself sick over this. Or go all guilty about the might-have-beens.”
She had hung her head. Ned didn’t have her. He
could
have at one time, but never got around to doing things the right way. But it wasn’t exactly guilt or even regret she was feeling. Just a night or two ago, she’d been able to throw herself into Ma’s arms and be reminded God would make things right. Ned didn’t have any arms like that unless she counted hers.
“Pike, I’ll be fine, really. I’ll call you to come get me. Soon as he’s stable. I still don’t have my car.” She tried to giggle, but she was really swallowing a tear. Suddenly the broken down car and Vegeterra seemed another life ago.
Reluctantly, Pike left her to herself and a past she hadn’t wanted to recall. Not with Jason in the present. The trouble with Jason; she didn’t know if they’d have a future. It seemed his nature to move along.
Just like Ned.
Ah, poor Ned. In the dark dawn, she watched him breathe. He wasn’t in a coma or anything. Just drugged against the pain. Her own need for sleep had her nod off. Footsteps and a scuffle of equipment outside the door woke her. The morning shift had begun.
“Good morning. Mrs. Lane, is it?” A large, friendly nurse Kelley hadn’t met surged through the door. “I just read his chart. Our boy had a good night.”
“Oh, I’m just a friend.”
Mrs. Lane
? Where had that come from? From her tears, her never-ending presence in this room? Heart pittered. She couldn’t stop it, for at one time, becoming “Mrs. Lane” had been her dream.
“I’m Renarsha, charge nurse. He’s doing great. “
Kelley’s forehead crunched. He looked so helpless tied to IVs. As the nurse turned on some soft light, Kelley noticed some color had returned to his cheeks.
“I’m Kelley Martin. I came down to donate some blood. And, well, I just couldn’t leave.”
“He’s a cutie. I can see why.”
“But I’m going back home in a little while.”
The nurse nodded, and after checking Ned’s vitals, Renarsha bustled around the window drapes. For the first time, Kelley noticed the vista outside. Strong mountain shoulders with spines of pine forest and aspen shuddering in the morning dawn. The image sent such a blast of comfort she shivered.
I will lift up mine eyes to the hills…
How lucky Ned was to get a room with a view. Something that had sent Hooper comfort and joy during his cancer struggle. In His way, Kelley was reminded once again that everything God did was good. Shame at her lack of faith brought a new tear. Whatever was going on with Vegeterra would be all right.
“I’ll be bringing in his breakfast,” Renarsha said from the doorway. “He’s already starting to rustle around. Then it’s bath time.”
Kelley got the hint. “I got it. I’ll go down to the cafeteria.”
“Kelley?” Ned’s blue eyes flickered, and his voice trembled. “You still here? My little vampire.”
She chuckled and came to his side, took his fluttering hand in her own. “You’re the vampire,” she said. “You took my blood.”
“Well, I thank you kindly. I can’t believe it…” He straightened his shoulders against the pillow and grimaced. His fingers, though weaker than she remembered, found hers and squeezed. “I can’t believe you’re still here.”
Suddenly she wondered if it had been a mistake, her staying. Had her presence built up his hopes? Shame heated the back of her neck. In spite of his bad way, she couldn’t lead him on. That had never been her intention.
“Ned, I didn’t want to leave before, you know. Before I knew you’d be okay. And the nurse says you’re doing great. I’ll be getting back to the ranch now.”
The blue eyes clouded, and he looked away. “I thought, maybe...” His gaze turned to hers, sharp and determined now. Although still shaky, his voice grew stronger as he cast off the shards of sleep. “I messed up, Kel. I’d do anything to fix things. When I woke up the first time and saw your face….I wondered, you know. If we had a second chance.”
“I’m sorry. No.” She could barely look him in the eyes, but their years together let him deserve that much. “I…you were in such a bad way. I didn’t want you to be alone. But Ned, nothing’s changed.”
“Just the blood.” He sniffed a little. “Well, I gotta thank you for that.”
“I’d do it for anyone. That’s what donors do.”
“So now I’m just anyone.”
Kelley stood back, desperate for Renarsha’s return. “Ned. Don’t.”
“Everything’s all gone and screwed up.” He slumped against the pillow. “Won’t be riding for a long time, either.”
“Be glad for that! That horn nicked your femoral artery, tore up your thigh. Maybe that’s a sign of some kind.”
“Just what you’d have liked. Me stuck in some dead-end-nothing-I-want-to-do job.”
The unfairness of his statement had her lean into her gut. He’d loved the ranch, loved everything about it. Had plenty of opportunities with her brothers. He just didn’t want to stick around when all was said, done, and offered. Even her hand. Now was the time for the big gun…even if she didn’t know Jason would stick around, either.
“Ned, I won’t deny you were my first love. Just not my last. I’ve met somebody else. And maybe it’s time for you to do the same.” She took a step forward to place one last kiss on his forehead. “Renarsha said you had a good night. And I’m sure you’ll be up and around soon. I pray for a quick recovery. This really is goodbye.”
It ached, though, to say the words. Memories both good and bad stabbed her mind as she turned from the room.
“Kelley…” His voice was weak again, but she didn’t let the pain she heard seep into her heart.
On the way outside, where she’d found the best cell phone reception, she reflected on the wagon train full of greenhorns. Hospital-sitting was sure not how she’d planned to spend the last two days. The group would be at Old Joe’s Hole about now, with its lovely grotto. Burial place for her ancestor’s faithful mule, Posy. Where the ashes of Daisy’s precious black Lab had been scattered. The place Kenn’s wife Christy had designed the outdoor wedding chapel where Mallie and Hoop had wed.
A place that symbolized what Hearts Crossing was about, love and loyalty, the passage of time, family, death and resurrection. A place she’d longed to show Jason. Not the wedding part, not really. But a place so beautiful it had to hem her into his heart, just a little.
If she left soon, she could get back to Hearts Crossing well in time for tonight’s celebratory hoedown. Oh. The tourists loved it, a down home non-vegetarian barbeque and all the fixin’s. Country music with a big helping of bluegrass, even some cloggers and square dancing when Ma could get a caller. For added fun, Hooper had taken to holding a little “graduation” ceremony for surviving their first Wild West adventure, with certificates and a nickname for each guest.
Kelley’s heart leapt with longing to get back in time to help cook. Slip in some delish veggie fare. More than that, she needed a shower. And…dare she admit it?
Jason.
Despite the lovely view from Ned’s room, her skin tingled, being outside in the fresh clean air, seeing the sights around her firsthand. Nothing like the wide and brawny outdoors. And her heart had lightened, even if she had caused Ned some pain. She believed in second chances, to be sure.
Her call got through to Ma first time around. “Ma, Ned’s going to be fine.”
“Praise God,” Ma interrupted.
“And I’m ready to come home. I want to be at Hearts Crossing in time to get ready for the hoedown.”
“Calm down, honey. You’re talking so fast my old ears can’t catch up. I get your drift. There’s a fine recipe for deep dish apple pie with a tad of sage in that cookbook. I’m itching to try it.”
Kelley had no doubt which cookbook the recipe came from. Snowy September’s. What on earth was the woman really like? Well, she’d done one good thing. Produce Jason.
“OK. It’ll save time, me renting a car. Pike’ll have better things to do then chauffeur me. Besides…” She didn’t want to deal with his chidings about her staying with Ned. Likely she ought to regret it, having lifted Ned’s hopes, but at least she had figured out her own heart.
“Nope. Somebody’s already on their way.”
Confusion rumbled. “What? I didn’t decide to leave until now.”
“No matter. Somebody’s already on their way. Save you some rent money. I’ll get started on the pie dough. It’ll be chilled proper by the time you get here.”
“But Ma!”
“Daughter, I
said
your ride is on its way. Get some food down your gullet. Take a walk. Just hang tight and wait.”
With Ma, there was no arguing. Kelley stumbled back inside the hospital lobby, aching for a full-body shower, not some quick touch-up in a sink with baby wipes from the pharmacy, and headed to the cafeteria. Yesterday’s veggie omelet with artichoke, zucchini and feta hadn’t been half bad. Might have been something she’d put on a restaurant menu along with her own salsa of Roma tomatoes, green olives, and celery. If she could ever hold on to a restaurant, that is.
She swallowed a sob. She needed Jason right now, sure as she needed air. But he was at Old Joe’s Hole with the wagon train. After leaving him for Ned like she did, whoever was retrieving her this time couldn’t be him, and her heart splintered just a little.
****
As Jason drove into humble Fairmont, his surprise at seeing the small but well-appointed county hospital was intense and real. As for Fairmont itself, as with most tiny Colorado ranch towns, the rolling range and alpine heights surrounding the city limits made up for any municipal deficiencies of a cow town long past its heyday.