Authors: Beckie
and squeeze her hand.
“What are you looking at, Freak?” Anastasia asks.
Did she really just call Serena a freak? God, this girl is even more annoying than I remember.
“Anastasia,” I warn, “stop it.”
Serena blinks and steps forward, towering over Anastasia. “Just because I didn’t grow up
with other people or go to a school like you did, doesn’t mean I’m a freak. Why would you say
something mean to me when you don’t even know me?”
Anastasia’s nostrils flare. I don’t think she’s ever had anyone speak back to her before.
“Because you’re all over my boyfriend. Do you really think he’d be interested in someone like you when he’s got me?” She flicks her fake hair and smirks. “You’re so plain it’s almost offensive. Do you even know what make-up is?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then you should try wearing it, and you need to do something with your hair. It’s
disgusting.”
Serena brushes her hand through her long blonde hair and frowns. “What’s wrong with my
hair?”
Anastasia rolls her eyes and turns back towards me, ignoring Serena’s question. “You’d
better make sure you’re at my house later so you can make this up to me.” She smiles, glancing
quickly at Serena and then says, “Oh, and wear those nice silky boxers that I can take off with my teeth.”
My eyes dart to Serena, who looks like she’s about to cry. I hate that Anastasia had to be the
first person to be horrible to her. She doesn’t deserve to be spoken to like that, and she sure as hell doesn’t deserve for me to just stand here and not defend her.
“You need to leave right now, Anastasia. If you continue to speak to Serena like that, then I
won’t be seeing you again at all, never mind later on today.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Are you being serious?”
I nod. “Deadly.”
“You’d better not be, Kaiden Matthews or so help me…”
“So help you what? What are you going to do, Anastasia, break up with me?” I spit.
She doesn’t respond. I smirk at her and say, “Yeah, I didn’t think so.”
“Kaiden -“ she begins.
“Shut up,” I hiss, interrupting her, “the reason you don’t know anything about Serena or my
relationship with her is because you’ve never bothered to ask me.”
“You found her,” she says, “that doesn’t mean you have to be shackled to her for the rest of
your life. She should just be grateful that you found her and that you did the right thing, and then she should just leave you alone so you can get on with your life.”
She turns to Serena and then I watch as her eyes focus on the pictures in Serena’s hand.
“What are those?” Anastasia asks.
Serena pulls them back but not quickly enough. Anastasia swipes her hand and knocks every
single one out of the packet and onto the floor.
“Oh my God, you went to the zoo with her?!” she shrieks.
Serena quickly squats down and starts to gather the pictures. She’s shaking her head and,
because of the way she’s hiding her face from me, I know she’s crying. I want to pick her up and take her home. I want to tell her that I’m sorry and make everything alright.
“Yes,” I finally answer, “her Mother called me and asked if I’d take her.”
“And you took her?” she asks, sounding shocked.
I look her dead in the eyes. “Yes, I took her to the zoo and you know what, Anastasia? I had a
really good time.”
Anastasia lunges forward and prods me in the chest. “You bastard. I can’t believe you went
out with her like that and didn’t even tell me! You don’t fucking like the zoo! You don’t even like animals, for fuck’s sake!”
I shrug. I know I should have told her, but it was a last minute phone call that I responded to
and I haven’t seen her since to tell her about it. “We just went as friends, Anastasia, because that’s what we are…
friends
.”
“I don’t give a fucking shit what you are to her, Kaiden. I don’t want you seeing her ever
again. Are we clear?”
I laugh. “You don’t get to tell me what to do, Anastasia. I don’t even do what my own
Mother tells me, so I’m not about to start taking orders from you.”
“I’m warning you right here and right now that you are not to spend another second alone
with her. Take her home and then stay away from her.”
She pushes my shoulder one last time and then stalks off in the opposite direction. I huff and
turn around, but find nothing other than a single photograph on the floor. Serena’s gone. My heart starts to hammer in my chest and the words ‘What have I done?’ echo around in my head.
She doesn’t know her way home and she certainly can’t walk all the way back. What will
Auden and Angela think if she turns up at their house in a few hours with sore feet and tells them that she walked home alone? I pick the picture up off the floor and stuff it into my pocket. My eyes search the mall, but every blonde-haired girl I see doesn’t have hair long enough to be Serena. I put my head down and sprint towards the exit.
Serena
I don’t know how I got out of the mall or even if I’m on the right road that’ll lead me back home, but I carry on walking anyway. I don’t even know the area that we live in so I can’t ask for directions.
Kaiden was right about the storm coming. Within seconds of me exiting the mall, I was soaked from head to toe.
When I woke up this morning, I quickly pulled on a short pair of denim shorts, a pair of white
sneakers, and a white top. I’m glad I wore the shorts and sneakers, but as I look down at my soaked top, I realise the white top wasn’t such a good idea. Cars and motorcycles are honking their horns at me as I walk alongside the busy road that leads to the highway. I don’t know if they’re honking
because I’m walking where I shouldn’t be or because they can see my nipples.
Thinking about my nipples and everyone seeing them makes me think about Kaiden and
what he told me when we were at the beach. And thinking about Kaiden makes me angry. Why
didn’t he tell me he had a girlfriend? Why did he let me hold his hand?
I wouldn’t have minded. Well, not in the beginning anyway. I don’t hate him, but I don’t like
him very much right now. He’s made me feel sad. Whenever I look at Kaiden, I have been getting a
tickling feeling in my chest where my heart is. But now it’s just a deep, heavy ache and I don’t know what it means. I feel sad, hollow, and empty. I feel like I’m all alone again in a world where I don’t belong.
I step off the walkway and cross the road towards a large area of grass and a small gathering
of trees. Even though there are only twenty or so trees, it reminds me of home. I can’t even see
where I’m putting my feet because of the rain that splatters out of the sky and falls down my face, so I’m hoping the trees can provide me with some shelter whilst I wait for the storm to pass.
I jog across the wet grass and past empty wooden benches before leaning back against a tree
trunk. I watch the cars, vans, and motorcycles whiz past me down the road. I need a car or a phone or some way to call and ask to be picked up. Not that I would know where it is I need to be picked up from. I don’t even know what time it is; I just know that I’ve been walking for a long time.
One of the cars that whizzes up the road catches my eye. The little white car screeches to a
stop at the edge of the grass in the distance and then I watch Kaiden jump out of the car, flicking his cigarette to the ground. He doesn’t even close the door before he starts running over towards me. I don’t take my eyes off him, noticing that the rain drenches him within seconds. When he finally gets to me, I see that his normally spiky hair is wet and flat against his head. Trickles of water slither down his face like a river through a mountain. I watch two droplets trickle down from his upper arm and down past his colourful tattoos. He lifts his deep brown eyes up to me.
“I need to take you home, Serena. Go and get in the car.”
I shake my head. “I’m okay, thanks. Just tell me which way is home and I will walk.”
“No.”
I stare into his eyes. He looks sad.
“I’m taking you back home if I have to pick you up and carry you to the car myself,” he says.
“You won’t,” I return.
He raises his eyebrows at me. “Don’t tell me what I won’t do, Serena. Because when it
comes to you, I seem to be breaking all of my own rules.”
I can feel my eyes narrowing at him. What rules is he talking about?
“Why didn’t you tell me that you had a girlfriend? That was cruel, Kaiden. You let me hold
your hand and,” I look away, feeling embarrassed, “other stuff.”
When I glance back at him, he’s nodding. “I should have told you. At first, I didn’t think it
mattered because I was just the guy that found you. But then I started to see you more, and I knew that I should have told you. I’m sorry, Serena.”
He steps forward so he’s almost touching me. “That’s why I came to your house this morning.
Do you remember? I said I needed to talk to you.”
He’s right. He did say that straight away, but I just dragged him to the mall to get my pictures
printed. I think about them and where I’ve shoved them down my shorts, hoping they aren’t
damaged.
“She’s not very nice,” I tell him.
He nods and ruffles his hand quickly through his hair, making spots of water splash over my
face. “I know.”
“Do you love her?” I ask.
He sighs and leans back against the same tree trunk as me. “I’m not even sure I know what
love is.”
“So you don’t?”
“No.”
“Then why are you with her? Why do you let her pull your boxers down with your teeth if
you’re not in love with her?” I persist.
He smiles. “You’ve read lots of books, Serena. Is the girl always in love with the boy when
she has sex with him?”
I realise I sound stupid. Of course Kaiden Matthews has had sex. He’s nearly eighteen. He’s
handsome, fun, and has that hint of danger that all the girls seem to love. Those sorts of guys always have women throwing themselves at them. How stupid of me to think he wouldn’t have.
“Have you only had sex with Anastasia?” I ask. Now that I’ve already started questioning him, I
want to know more.
He huffs and shakes his head. “I’m not telling you.”
“Why not?” I ask dumbfounded.
“I don’t want to,” he says simply.
“Why?”
He sort of growls at me and kicks the tree with his foot. “Because I don’t want to tell you.”
I snort. “Why are you keeping secrets from me? I told you I wanted you to be honest with
me.”
“You won’t want me to be honest about this. Trust me,” he says.
“I do,” I say quickly. “I want you to be honest about everything.”
“Fine,” he sighs, “I’ve had lots and lots of sex, and not just with Anastasia. I love having sex.
I’d do it all day every day if I could. I love women and I love their bodies.” He shrugs. “I guess I’m not the boy that you thought I was. Do you hate me now? Are you happy now you’ve got your answers?”
I think about all those other girls that he’s touched and kissed, and how they must have
touched and kissed him. I wanted to kiss him. I would have let him kiss me, but now I know it
wouldn’t mean the same thing to him as it means to me. I’m stupid to have thought he could have
liked me. I’ve read enough books to know that a boy like Kaiden doesn’t want a girl like me.
“I don’t hate you, but I don’t really like you either,” I say.
He laughs and then straightens up, looking at me seriously. “I love how honest you are.”
I shrug. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to say anything back to that.
“Are you going to get in the car?” he asks.
I shake my head. “I’m not going to cling on to someone else’s boyfriend anymore, Kaiden. I
can get home myself. Just tell me the way.”
“You’re not clinging on to me, Serena. What she said back there was wrong. I like spending
time with you. You make me laugh more than anyone else I know,” he tells me sincerely.
I look at him. His soft, full lips pull up at the corners, making a little dimple appear in his
cheek. “That’s because you’re laughing
at
me.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. That’s what it feels like now. Anastasia was right. I need to find my own
friends and learn to do my make-up or something, and maybe I should cut my hair while I’m at it.
Even then I’ll probably never be normal, Kaiden.”
“Don’t you dare change a thing. I like you just the way you are. I like you
because
of the way you are.”
I sniff and shake my head. “I’m not getting in the car, so you may as well leave me.”
“I would never leave you,” he says, sounding as if it means it. But it doesn’t change anything.
“Just go,” I whisper. If I continue looking at his wet face and the trickles of water that sneak
down past his nose and tickle at the corner of his mouth, then I’m gonna start liking him again and I know that’s pointless.
He huffs and bends down. “I told you I’d carry you.”
Suddenly, everything I see is upside down as he flings me over his shoulder. He taps my
backside once and starts to walk to his car with his arm wrapped tightly around my knees.
“Put me down, Kaiden,” I demand.
“I will,” he says, “once you’re in my car.”
I start to wriggle and kick my legs, but he just clamps his arms tighter around me. “Stop it. I’ll drop you.”
“Good,” I huff, “and then I can run away from you.”
“Serena, have you not heard a word I’ve been saying? I’ll never let you run away from me.”
I say nothing and just watch the wet ground bounce underneath me as he strides forward.
As we near his car, his arm shifts and then he swings me onto my feet in one swift movement.
I turn and stare at the car.
“Get in,” he orders.
I think about making a face at him or arguing, but I know that’s something Elodie would do